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Index
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Introduction: Welcome to Inappropriate Thoughts on Motherhood
Author’s Note
Chapter 1: I Love My Children… I Love My Children: A Mother’s Mantra
Chapter 2: I’ll Take Household Chores for 800, Alex (A Jeopardy Category Nobody Wins)
Chapter 3: Family Time: We Need to Enjoy Every Fucking Minute, or Else!
Chapter 4: Real Friends Are the Best Friends: Here’s Why
Chapter 5: My Husband’s Love Language Is Sex (and Other Things I’ve Learned in 17 Years of Marriage)
Chapter 6: Anxiety and Motherhood Go Hand in Hand: Enjoy!
Chapter 7: I Don’t Want to Trade in My Perky Breasts: Aging Gracefully in a Filtered World
Chapter 8: You Are a Motherhood Expert: I’m Not Kidding
Chapter 9: Different-Needs Parenting in 2020
Chapter 10: Who Knew Being a Mom Was So Damn Lonely?
Chapter 11: It’s Just a Phase… Son of a Bitch! The Whole Thing Is a String of Phases!!!
Is This the End???
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
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