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Index
Title Page
A Royal Pain
Copyright
Tara Brown
Contents
Dedication
Dedication
Foreword
1. Why do I have such thin lips? Why does the god of full lips #Hate me?
2. Why can’t teenaged girls drink without becoming one of the four: The Crier, the Ho, the Mother Hen, the Fighter?
3. It’s going down (like my GPA). I’m yelling TIMBERRRRRRR . . .
4. Why does my manicure chip at all the wrong moments?
5. If a teenaged girl makes a duck face and doesn’t Instagram it, did it happen?
6. Why does summer always feel like it races by, but the school year is eleven lifetimes?
7. Why do people always think pretty teenaged girls are cheerleaders?
8. Teenaged girls can totally keep a secret. It just takes eight of their closest friends to do it.
9. The sign of a true teenaged girl is the amount of hours spent learning to twerk while acting like it is your first time trying.
10. When teenaged girls throw down they pull hair, tear leggings, and throw pumpkin spice lattes.
11. There are four things in the world a teenaged girl cannot live without: Lip gloss, Leggings, iPhone, and Katy Perry.
12. If I didn’t take selfies my friends wouldn’t even know what I look like.
13. Girls everywhere want to know . . . why is the hottest guy always a gay guy?
14. Sometimes I take too many selfies and I don’t know which one I should post, and I want to post them all, but then I don’t want to look narcissistic.
15. Last week, my Instagram was down and my friends had to describe their lunch to me. #Lame
16. If you say pumpkin spice latte in the mirror three times, a teenaged girl in yoga pants and a ponytail from the #PNW will jump out and tell you her favorite thing about fall.
17. Do you ever just want to shout out to the entire hallway, “It’s a high school, not a petting zoo?”
18. Last week a friend came to school with earrings that were so dangly I would swear she was going to try to read my palms.
19. All I want for Christmas is a credit card so I can buy myself everything I want and still have some money left over to go out and show off all my awesome clothes. And world peace
20. The only reason I know anything about history and the world is the smart people who cast the historical romances with yummy dudes.
Epilogue
The End
Sample chapter
Mission Impossible
Afterword
Other YA Books by Tara Brown
About the Author
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