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Imperial Library
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Index
Cover
Title
Copyright
Dedication
Contents
This Just In
The State Of California vs. Ex-Lover #17
Nietzsche And The Ice-Cream Truck
Notes On My First Day Of Therapy
A Beginner’s Guide To Mediocrity
Betty Crocker’s Oven-Free Cookbook Tops The Bestseller List In Hell
Tea For Two (A Tragedy)
Subterranean Abstraction
How To Reprimand A Cynical Optimist
Friggin’ Houdini
But L’ORÉAL Said I Was Worth It
Motto
A Brief History Of Feminism
Schadenfreude Encore
Cubist Questionnaire
The Girl Finally Gets It
The Definition Of Beauty Sandwich
The Forgotten Art Of Mincing Words
Epitaph On A Hair
Fellini Teaches Community College
Despair, Party Of One
So Much For The Tibetan Book Of The Dead
Capitalism Can Fall Not Like I Fell For You
You’re Like Dolly Parton Only You’re Not
Autobiography
The Decline Of Postmodern Civilization
Fictional Photo Shoot Conversation
Mata Hari
All These Years And You’re Still Saddled With Intimacy Issues
Now She’s In Movies
Crazy Things Happen If You Fall Asleep Listening To The Beatles
College Notebook
Thanks For The Ether
Ode To A Summer Vacation
Polaroid
Zebra
Joni Mitchell Configuration
Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee
Not All Literature Is Gossip
The New Testament Delicatessen
Dorothy Parker Laments
Love Is Like A Toilet Bowl
Unfortunate Cookie
How To Save A Tangerine From Suffering
We Could Have Danced All Night
Everybody Loves You At 3:00 a.m.
Recipe For Disaster
She Wants Chocolate
The Cheese Poem
Despite The Calamities
The Dean Martin Defense
Popeye, Hamlet & Sartre (A Rendering)
Sadness You Old Minx
Flimflammer
Riding Bitch With Rosemary Clooney & Peggy Lee
Meet Me In Tiananmen Square
Mauvais Rêve
Miserable’
Miserable
Film Noir Haiku
Chocolate & Flour Union–Local 133 (Meeting Notes)
Platitude Omelet
I Became A Fabulous Opera
Security Question (Please Choose One)
The New Dawn
Kiss Me Quick
The Perfect Love Poem
A Lady Writing
B Is For Bad Poetry
Inappropriately Touched By An Angel
The Janis Joplin Of It All
Higgledy-Piggledy
The Trouble With Starfish
The Trouble With Comedians
The Trouble With Birthday Cakes
The Prayers Of An Insomniac
Tarantella
Urbane Decay
More Fun At The Gertrude Stein Home For Wayward Girls
Elephant
Effigy And Excuse
Normally I Wouldn’t
So It Is Not With Me As With That Damn Muse
Somewhere The Dog Got Off The Boat
The Plight
If I Had A Gun
NapolÉon In Vain
Showdown At The I’m Not O.K. Yet Corral
Some Not-So-Enchanted Evening
Donner Party Review
Metaphor Diarrhea
Give Me Elaine Stritch Or Give Me Death
Sandy Dennis Briefly
The World Is Going To Hell In A Handbag
Birds I View
Following Khrushchev
Illumination Handyman
How I Made Sense Of You
Sing-A-Long With The Cocteau Twins
Country Song Poem
A Mystery To Me
Rotten In Denmark
Diamante For A Crappy Relationship
Poetic Injustice
Relativity Theory For A Melancholy Gal
Conjugating You
Paranoid Novella
We Don’t Call Her Einstein For Nothing
Excuses
Hallmark Nightmare
Hindsight
Plate Tectonics And Us
It’s Not Because I’m Dirty
Jump Rope Reality Show
The World Is Not A Safe Place
Letters To A Young Poet
Lizzie Borden Has The Last Word
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