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Index
Cover
About the Author
Other Books by this Author
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Contents
Preface
METROPOLITAN LIFE
My Day: An Introduction of Sorts
MANNERS
Manners
Vocational Guidance for the Truly Ambitious
Modern Sports
Breeding Will Tell: A Family Treatment
Disco Hints: The New Etiquette
Better Read Than Dead: A Revised Opinion
Children: Pro or Con?
A Manual: Training for Landlords
Success Without College
Specialty Banking: A Numbered Account
The Right of Eminent Domain Versus the Rightful Dominion of the Eminent
The Family Affair: A Moral Tale
Guide and Seek: I’m O.K., You’re Not
A World View
Notes on “Trick”
SCIENCE
Science
The Nail Bank: Not Just Another Clip Joint
Digital Clocks and Pocket Calculators: Spoilers of Youth
Weak Speech Handsets: Aid for the Dull
The Primary Cause of Heterosexuality Among Males in Urban Areas: Yet Another Crackpot Theory
Why I Love Sleep
Good Weather and Its Propensity to Frequent the Better Neighborhoods
Plants: The Roots of All Evil
Mars: Living in a Small Way
City Limiting: The New Geography
Food for Thought and Vice Versa
ARTS
Arts
Not in the: Mood Jewelry
Clothes with Pictures and/or Writing on Them: Yes—Another Complaint
Soho: Or Not at Home with Mr. Art
Color: Drawing the Line
The Sound of Music: Enough Already
A Brush with Death
LETTERS
Letters
Writing: A Life Sentence
In Hot Pursuit
Or Not CB: That Is the Answer
The Word Lady: Most Often Used to Describe Someone You Wouldn’t Want to Talk to for Even Five Minutes
Taking a Letter
Writers on Strike: A Chilling Prophecy
A Few Words on a Few Words
No News Is Preferable
SOCIAL STUDIES
PEOPLE
People
How Not to Marry a Millionaire: A Guide for the Misfortune Hunter
The Four Greediest Cases: A Limited Appeal
Parental Guidance
Tips for Teens
At Home with Pope Ron
The Modern-Day Lives of the Saints
The Servant Problem
THINGS
Things
Pointers for Pets
The Frances Ann Lebowitz Collection
The Pen of My Aunt Is on the Operating Table
PLACES
Places
Lesson One
Diary of a New York Apartment Hunter
Fran Lebowitz’s Travel Hints
IDEAS
Ideas
When Smoke Gets in Your Eyes … Shut Them
The Last Laugh
The Fran Lebowitz High Stress Diet and Exercise Program
The Unnatural Order
How to Be a Directory Assistance Operator: A Manual
War Stories
The Short Form
An Alphabet of New Year’s Resolutions for Others
To Have and Do Not
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