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Index
Acknowledgments Dedication Chameleons, Panty Pull-Downs, and Twelve-Step Programs Step One: Eye Contact. Make It. Insert, Agitate, Release Step Two: Don Do-It-Yourself Whorewear Step Three: Ignore the Whore Steps Four and Five: Fan the Flames of Jealousy to Make Him Your Bitch, and Turn Inanimate Objects into Sex Toys Step Six: Initiate Operation Blow-Off Step Seven: Talk So Dirty, He Needs a Bath to Answer You Verse One Chorus Intermission Reprise Ultimatums Snake Attack Verse Two Chorus Two Step Eight: Sext Him Hard Step Nine: Let Him Know What He’s Missing When You’re Not Around Step Ten: Tell Him You Love Him with a Song Step Eleven: Grab Him by the Balls and Never Let Him Go Beats Step Twelve: Remember, Spitters Are Quitters About the Author
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