From Shy to Social · the Shy Man's Guide to Personal & Dating Success by Gray, Christopher -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Reviews From Shy To Social Copyright Preface Introduction Understanding Shyness

The Desire to be Sociable Genetics, Environment, or Both? Three Degrees of Shyness

The Recluse The Shy Pessimist The Shy Optimist

Some of us Weren’t Shy as Children In Society, Shy People are Second Class Just be Yourself? (The phrase we all hate!)

What’s Holding You Back?

Inferiority Complex Superiority Complex and the Nice Guy Myth

Both Beliefs are Self-Deceptions Blaming Women

Limiting Beliefs

Negative versus Positive Thoughts

Self Recrimination Change from a Pessimist to an Optimist Reframing The public is not out to judge you

Be Proactive – Chart a New Direction

Do Not be Resistant to Change

Will the Changes be Real, and Accepted by Others? It will take too long to change myself (or I’m too old to change), so why bother? I’ve been lonely, miserable and in this rut for as long as I can remember. How can I expect the future to be different? Should I let my family and friends in on my plan?

A Metaphor for Life

Lifestyle Choices that Lead to Misery

Addictions Eating Habits Mundane Routines

Emerging from your seclusion, one step at a time Assignment #1: Online Contributions Working on your Voice

Telephone conversations Case Study – A Telephone Sales Job

Assignment #2: Voice & Telephone Clarity Personal Grooming Develop some Style

Accessorize

Hair: Style or Shave it off? Facial Hair

Body Language & Posture

Don’t Fidget Working on your Walk Facial Expressions Eye Contact The Handshake

Assignment #3: Improve Your Look

Case Study: Body Language and “Selling Yourself”

What is your Daily Routine?

Employment Status Doing well in Job Interviews Do you Live with your Parents?

Getting used to Interacting with People Assignment #4: Saying “Hello” to Strangers

Expanding the Conversation

Assignment #5: Short Conversations with Strangers Assignment #6: Enroll in Special Interest Courses

Arts or Community Shows

The Art of Conversation

First Impressions Count Match your Mood to the Room and the People Joining a Conversation Don’t Reply with Only One Sentence Don’t Ask What They Do Delay Saying “I Did That Too” What if You are Super Shy? Make the Conversation about Them How to Keep the Conversation Going Be an Insider Keep the Conversation Upbeat

How to Get Invited to Parties

Party Etiquette Stick to Safe Topics Introducing People What if You Fall into the Frozen Shrimp? How to Take a Compliment

Building Your Social Proof Don’t Be A Cheapskate What Women Want

Men and Women are Different

Why Women Like Bad Boys

Have a Temper? Get Rid of It! Dealing With Aggressive People Being a Challenge to Women

Assignment #7: Approach 50 Women in 10 Days Where to Engage With Women (Extended Duration)

Vacations

Guided Tour Solo Vacation

Special Interest Seminars Evening Hobby Courses Charitable Organizations Languages, Dancing, Acting Improv Local activity clubs Gyms, Health Clubs

Online Dating

Internet-based Telephone-based

Don’t initiate sex talk

Tips for Constructing a Winning Profile

Speed Dating Pickup Artists

Practitioners

Ross Jeffries Mystery (Erik von Markovik) Neil Strauss (aka Style) Michael Marks Nick Savoy

PUA Offerings So What Works?

Putting Theories into Practice Where to Engage With Women (Fleeting Duration)

Making Approaches Why Approach Women when I can do Online Dating? Talk to Women as If You Already Know Them

What if her boyfriend is lurking around the corner?

Approach Often to Build Confidence Warm Up Before Making Approaches

The Bookstore

Assignment #8: Approaches Leading to Conversation

Example openers

Upping the Ante with Humor

Approaching in Bars and Clubs

Enlist a Friend

Adjust your Body Language Anchoring

Calling women over to talk Approaching Groups

Dealing With the Jerk of the Group

Switching from the Opener to Conversation

Your Buddy – is he Friend or Foe? Wingman Rules Never Offer to Buy a Woman a Drink

Daytime Approaches

Tips for Public Transit Approaches

Add a False Time Constraint

Indirect vs. Direct Openers Approaching on the Street and in Malls Street Approach Examples Physicality How Women React to Being Approached Do Not Eject from the Conversation She will eventually do much of the talking

Reducing the Flake-Out Factor

Success Rates

Limiting Beliefs with Approaches

Conditions Must Be Ideal Fixating On One Woman The Age Question The Personal Attractiveness Question

Theory versus Reality

Short Term Excuses can turn into Long Term Failure

Approach Anxiety

Approach Skill Plateaus Analyze What Went Right & Wrong

Hesitation Opener Delivery Don’t keep walking after opening Speak Confidently and Slowly Don’t ask for her contact information too soon

Solutions to Approach Roadblocks Before your Date: Phone Game When on a Date

Who Pays for the Date? Touching When to Kiss

Getting Mixed Signals

A Lesson on Restraint

Ensuring You Get a Second Date

Join several online dating sites, and date as much as possible

Don’t put her on a pedestal Questions versus Statements Don’t talk about yourself all evening Don’t tell your date about your problems Mind your manners Dress appropriately Memorize a favorite story Memorize some routines

Cocky + Funny = Second Date?

Don’t try and convince her to see you again Keep your place clean

You Will Succeed

Final Assignment Review Notes

Other books by Sunbow Press

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