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Index
The Stories
Death by Sarcasm
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Nine
Thirty
Thirty-One
Thirty-Two
Thirty-Three
Thirty-Four
Thirty-Five
Thirty-Six
Thirty-Seven
Thirty-Eight
Thirty-Nine
Forty
Forty-One
Forty-Two
Forty-Three
Forty-Four
Forty-Five
Forty-Six
Forty-Seven
Forty-Eight
Forty-Nine
Fifty
Fifty-One
Fifty-Two
Fifty-Three
Fifty-Four
Fifty-Five
Fifty-Six
Fifty-Seven
Fifty-Eight
Fifty-Nine
Sixty
Sixty-One
Sixty-Two
Sixty-Three
Sixty-Four
Sixty-Five
Sixty-Six
Sixty-Seven
Sixty-Eight
Sixty-Nine
Seventy
Seventy-One
Seventy-Two
Seventy-Three
Seventy-Four
Seventy-Five
Seventy-Six
Seventy-Seven
About the Author
Miami Mummies
Acknowledgments
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
About the Author
My Perfect Wedding
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
About the Author
Sadie’s Guide to Catching Killers
Introduction
Murder One (1991)
Advice from L’il Sadie: 10 Signs Someone is a Low-Life Liar
Happy Birthday, Sadie (1996)
Murder Two
Advice from L’il Sadie: 10 Ways to Your Dream Confession
Crime and Punishment
Gloria in Excelsis
Advice from L’il Sadie: 10 Useful Household Poisons
Murder Three (1999)
Apocalypse Now
Advice from Li’l Sadie 10 Telltale Clues Daddy is a Cross-Dresser
Murder Four (2000)
Advice from L’il Sadie 10 Signs Your Friend is a Serial Killer
Into the Sunset
Appendix (A reference list of bodies and body parts)
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Being Light
Chapter One ~ The Castle
Chapter Two ~ Personne Disparue
Chapter Three ~ On The Bus
Chapter Four ~ Heaven & Earth
Chapter Five ~ The Message
Chapter Six ~ Sylvia
Chapter Seven ~ The Zebra
Chapter Eight ~ Jeremy
Chapter Nine ~ The White Van
Chapter Ten ~ Convenience
Chapter Eleven ~ Colors
Chapter Twelve ~ Cherry Lip gloss
Chapter Thirteen ~ Truly, Madly, Deeply
Chapter Fourteen ~ The Dinner Party
Chapter Fifteen ~ The Models
Chapter Sixteen ~ Being Light
Chapter Seventeen ~ Fecal Matter
Chapter Eighteen ~ Night-time
Chapter Nineteen ~ Usefulness
Chapter Twenty ~ Hot Line
Chapter Twenty-One ~ Wind Chimes
Chapter Twenty-Two ~ The Café
Chapter Twenty-Three ~ Bandits
Chapter Twenty-Four ~ Dry White Wine
Chapter Twenty-Five ~ Anthropologists
Chapter Twenty-Six ~ Plague of Blonde Women
Chapter Twenty-Seven ~ Sylvia’s Flip-Flop
Chapter Twenty-Eight ~ Cruising
Chapter Twenty-Nine ~ High Wire Workout
Chapter Thirty ~ Frozen Yoghurt
Chapter Thirty-One ~ Laundry
Chapter Thirty-Two ~ The Albert Memorial
Chapter Thirty-Three ~ The Postman’s Dog
Chapter Thirty-Four ~ The Bridges
Chapter Thirty-Five ~ The Circus
Chapter Thirty-Six ~ Prince Albert
Chapter Thirty-Seven ~ The Smallest Room
Chapter Thirty-Eight ~ Big Ben
Chapter Thirty-Nine ~ Philippe Starck
Chapter Forty ~ Regeneration
Chapter Forty-One ~ The Race
Chapter Forty-Two ~ Vroom, Slam
About the Author
Food of Love
Chapter 1—Regina: The Smile of the Spoon
Chapter 2—Cady: Crisco and Prayers
Chapter 3—Cady: King of the Wild Frontier
Chapter 4—Regina: Sharing
Chapter 5—Regina: White Light for Breakfast
Chapter 6—Regina: Gladly the Cross-Eyed Bear
Chapter 7—Regina: The Crutch
Chapter 8—Cady: Oasis
Chapter 9—Cady: The Pearly Gates
Chapter 10—Regina: The Pits
Chapter 11—Regina: Sober Christian Women
Chapter 12—Cady: Darkness
Chapter 13—Cady: Ringworm and Caterpillar
Chapter 14—Regina: Satan Rules
Chapter 15—Regina: California Dreams
Chapter 16—Cady: Lush Life
Chapter 17—Cady: Church Lady
Chapter 18—Regina: Pie with the Angels
Chapter 19—Cady: Acts of God
Chapter 20—Cady: Blind and Crippled and Old
Chapter 21—Cady: LadyFat
Chapter 22—Cady: The Stupid Book
Chapter 23—Cady: Darkness Within
Chapter 24—Cady: Colored Girls
Chapter 25—Cady: Death by Chocolate
Chapter 26—Cady: Not With the Band
Chapter 27—Cady: The Laws of the Aztecs
Chapter 28—Cady: Old Maids Never Wed and Have Babies
Chapter 29—Cady: Wise and Foolish Virgins
Chapter 30—Cady: The Queen of Clubs
Chapter 31—Cady: International Terrorists
Chapter 32—Cady: Under Siege
Chapter 33—Cady: Arthuritis
Chapter 34—Cady: Family Values
Chapter 35—Cady: Devotion
Chapter 36—Cady: Stradivarius
Chapter 37—Cady: If You Small at Me
Chapter 38—Cady: Join the Jamboree
Chapter 39—Cady: Vermin
Chapter 40—Regina: Alien Abduction
Chapter 41—Cady: Bluebeard
Chapter 42—Cady: A Real Man
Chapter 43—Regina: An American Princess
Chapter 44—Regina: A Pair of Kings
Chapter 45—Cady: Terrorist Activities
Chapter 46—Cady: The Goddess out of the Machine
Chapter 47—Cady: Hostages
Chapter 48—Cady: Elvis Leaves the Building
Chapter 49—Regina: Queen of the Wild Things
Chapter 50—Regina: Arrangements
Chapter 51—Regina: Vermin Redux
About the Author
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