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Index
Cover Title Page Copyright Dedication Introduction
1 The Path to Happiness and the Road to Misery Are Easily Confused
Recognizing an Addictive Personality and the Purpose of Healing Healing Begins with the Invitation to Love The Four A’s: Achieving, Acquiring, Approval, and Accomplishing When the Solution Becomes Another Addiction Where to Find the Answers and How to Recognize the Smoke and Mirrors Biological Factors and Addiction Is There Really an Addictive Personality? How to Use the Power of Choice to Heal Your Teacher Is Standing Right in Front of You Who We Are Versus Who Our Addictive Personality Tells Us We Are The Truth about Happiness Three Healing Words: “I Am Enough” Denial: The Not-So-Little Secret The Addictive Personality’s Plan: Deny It and It Will Disappear Projection: The Illusion That Keeps On Rolling Special Hate and Special Love Relationships
2 The Thought System of the Addictive Personality
How the Addictive Personality Uses Fear to Control You How to Break the Addictive Personality’s Cycle of Fear How the Addictive Personality Uses the Past and the Future to Prevent Positive Change How the Addictive Personality Uses Judgment to Maintain Conflict-Centered Relationships The Peaceful Alternative to Judgment How the Addictive Personality Uses Scarcity
3 The Thirteen Core Beliefs of the Addictive Personality
Belief Number One: I am separate from everybody else Belief Number Two: If I want security and success, I must judge others Belief Number Three: My perceptions are always correct and my way is the right way Belief Number Four: Attack and defense are my only safety Belief Number Five: The past and the future are real and must be worried about Belief Number Six: Guilt is inescapable because the past is real Belief Number Seven: Mistakes require judgment and punishment… Belief Number Eight: Fear is real Belief Number Nine: Other people and situations are at fault for my feelings and failures Belief Number Ten: Another’s loss is my gain Belief Number Eleven: I need someone or something else to complete me Belief Number Twelve: My self-esteem is based on pleasing you Belief Number Thirteen: I need to control everyone and everything around me How These Beliefs Combine Forces The Two Forms of Communication
4 The Structure of the Truth-Based Personality
How the Truth-Based Personality Uses the Power of Love How the Truth-Based Personality Uses the Present Moment to Set You Free Peak Performance and the Present Moment Six Principles to Peak Performance and Realized Opportunity Six Old Patterns of the Addictive Personality and Six Truth-Based Alternatives Watching the Breath How the Truth-Based Personality Uses Acceptance to Create Deep Change and Peace-Centered Relationships Recognized Essential Value Deep Change Versus Surface Change The Power Over Approach The Power of Powerlessness Approach Hard Honesty Hitting Bottom How the Truth-Based Personality Creates Opportunity and Miracles Creating Opportunity and Abundance: What Is Valuable and What Is Not The Myth about True Abundance
5 The Thirteen Core Beliefs of the Truth-Based Personality
Belief Number One: What I see in others reflects my own state of mind Belief Number Two: My safety lies in my defenselessness Belief Number Three: Love is unconditional Belief Number Four: Forgiveness, with hard honesty, ensures peace Forgiveness Practice Session Belief Number Five: Only the present is real Belief Number Six: To change my experience, I must first change my thoughts Belief Number Seven: Mistakes call for correction and learning Belief Number Eight: Only love is real Belief Number Nine: I am responsible for my life Belief Number Ten: I receive what I want by giving what I have Belief Number Eleven: I am complete right now Belief Number Twelve: My self-esteem comes from within Belief Number Thirteen: I can’t change others, but I can change how I perceive them The Core Beliefs of the Addictive Personality and the Truth-Based Personality Beliefs of the Addictive Personality Beliefs of the Truth-Based Personality
6 The Addictive Personality and the Fear of Intimacy
The Confusion between Freedom and Imprisonment Accepting and Embracing the Life We Have Lived Finding Freedom and Opportunity through Responsibility The Big Myth: “I’m Not Okay the Way I Am” The Misuse of Goals Stopping the Cycle of Attack and Defense A Truth-Centered Approach to Life The Truth about Anger, Guilt, Attack, and Defense Trust Versus trust
7 Learning to Recognize Our Essential Value
What the Addictive Personality Wants You to Believe Irrational Beliefs of the Addictive Personality Alternate Messages from the Truth-Based Personality Being Compulsively-Other-Focused Ten Core Beliefs of Being Compulsively-Other-Focused Healing through Forgiveness Letting Go Affirming Who You Are Truths about Myself
8 Healing Relationships: Growing Beyond the Addictive Personality in Our Interactions with Others
Six Core Truths of Truth-Based Relationships Patterns That Create Conflict and Traps Patterns That Create Peace and Opportunity You Are Not Alone: An Introduction to the Daily Lessons
Daily Lessons An Eleven-Week Action Plan for Continued Healing Epilogue About the Author Other Books from Celestial Arts
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