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Index
THE ENTIRE GUTENBERG TWAIN FILES
CONTENTS OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG TWAIN COLLECTION
THE COMPLETE PROJECT GUTENBERG MARK TWAIN
INNOCENTS ABROAD
CONTENTS
CHAPTER I. Popular Talk of the Excursion—Programme of the Trip—Duly Ticketed for the Excursion—Defection of the Celebrities
PREFACE
CHAPTER I.
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER IV.
CHAPTER V.
CHAPTER VI.
CHAPTER VII.
CHAPTER VIII.
CHAPTER IX.
CHAPTER X.
CHAPTER XI.
CHAPTER XII.
CHAPTER XIII.
CHAPTER XIV.
CHAPTER XV.
STORY OF ABELARD AND HELOISE
CHAPTER XVI.
CHAPTER XVII.
CHAPTER XVIII.
CHAPTER XIX.
CHAPTER XX.
CHAPTER XXI.
CHAPTER XXII.
CHAPTER XXIII.
CHAPTER XXIV.
CHAPTER XXV.
CHAPTER XXVI.
CHAPTER XXVII.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
CHAPTER XXIX.
ASCENT OF VESUVIUS—CONTINUED.
ASCENT OF VESUVIUS—CONTINUED.
ASCENT OF VESUVIUS—CONTINUED.
ASCENT OF MOUNT VESUVIUS—CONTINUED.
CHAPTER XXX.
ASCENT OF VESUVIUS—CONTINUED.
CHAPTER XXXI.
CHAPTER XXXII.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
CHAPTER XXXIV.
CHAPTER XXXV.
CHAPTER XXXVI.
CHAPTER XXXVII.
CHAPTER XXXVIII.
CHAPTER XXXIX.
CHAPTER XL.
CHAPTER XLI.
CHAPTER XLII.
CHAPTER XLIII.
CHAPTER XLIV.
CHAPTER XLV.
CHAPTER XLVI.
CHAPTER XLVII.
CHAPTER XLVIII.
CHAPTER XLIX.
CHAPTER L.
CHAPTER LI.
CHAPTER LII.
CHAPTER LIII.
CHAPTER LIV.
CHAPTER LV.
CHAPTER LVI.
CHAPTER LVII.
CHAPTER LVIII.
CHAPTER LIX.
CHAPTER LX.
CHAPTER LXI.
CONCLUSION.
A BURLESQUE AUTOBIOGRAPHY
BURLESQUE AUTOBIOGRAPHY.
AWFUL, TERRIBLE MEDIEVAL ROMANCE
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER IV
CHAPTER V.
ROUGHING IT
ROUGHING IT
PREFATORY.
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER I.
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER IV.
CHAPTER V.
CHAPTER VI.
CHAPTER VII.
CHAPTER VIII.
CHAPTER IX.
CHAPTER X.
CHAPTER XI.
CHAPTER XII.
CHAPTER XIII.
CHAPTER XIV.
CHAPTER XV.
CHAPTER XVI.
CHAPTER XVII.
CHAPTER XVIII.
CHAPTER XIX.
CHAPTER XX.
CHAPTER XXI.
CHAPTER XXII.
CHAPTER XXIII.
CHAPTER XXIV.
CHAPTER XXV.
CHAPTER XXVI.
CHAPTER XXVII.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
CHAPTER XXIX.
CHAPTER XXX.
CHAPTER XXXI.
CHAPTER XXXII.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
CHAPTER XXXIV.
CHAPTER XXXV.
CHAPTER XXXVI.
CHAPTER XXXVII.
CHAPTER XXXVIII.
CHAPTER XXXIX.
CHAPTER XL. I now come to a curious episode—the most curious, I think, that had yet accented my slothful, valueless, heedless career. Out of a hillside toward the upper end of the town, projected a wall of reddish looking quartz-croppings, the exposed comb of a silver-bearing ledge that extended deep down into the earth, of course. It was owned by a company entitled the "Wide West." There was a shaft sixty or seventy feet deep on the under side of the croppings, and everybody was acquainted with the rock that came from it—and tolerably rich rock it was, too, but nothing extraordinary. I will remark here, that although to the inexperienced stranger all the quartz of a particular "district" looks about alike, an old resident of the camp can take a glance at a mixed pile of rock, separate the fragments and tell you which mine each came from, as easily as a confectioner can separate and classify the various kinds and qualities of candy in a mixed heap of the article.
CHAPTER XLI.
CHAPTER XLII.
CHAPTER XLIII.
CHAPTER XLIV.
CHAPTER XLV.
CHAPTER XLVI.
CHAPTER XLVII.
CHAPTER XLVIII.
CHAPTER XLIX.
CHAPTER L.
CHAPTER LI.
THE AGED PILOT MAN.
CHAPTER LII.
CHAPTER LIII.
THE STORY OF THE OLD RAM.
CHAPTER LIV.
CHAPTER LV.
CHAPTER LVI.
CHAPTER LVII.
CHAPTER LVIII.
CHAPTER LIX.
CHAPTER LX.
CHAPTER LXI.
CHAPTER LXII.
CHAPTER LXIII.
CHAPTER LXIV.
CHAPTER LXV.
CHAPTER LXVI.
CHAPTER LXVII.
CHAPTER LXVIII.
CHAPTER LXIX.
CHAPTER LXX.
CHAPTER LXXI.
CHAPTER LXXII.
CHAPTER LXXIII.
CHAPTER LXXIV.
CHAPTER LXXV.
CHAPTER LXXVI.
CHAPTER LXXVII.
CHAPTER LXXVIII.
CHAPTER LXXIX.
MORAL.
APPENDIX. A.
B. THE MOUNTAIN MEADOWS MASSACRE.
C. CONCERNING A FRIGHTFUL ASSASSINATION THAT WAS NEVER CONSUMMATED
THE GILDED AGE
PREFACE.
CHAPTER I.
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER IV.
CHAPTER V.
CHAPTER VI.
CHAPTER VII.
CHAPTER VIII.
CHAPTER IX
CHAPTER X.
CHAPTER XI
CHAPTER XII
CHAPTER XIII.
CHAPTER XIV.
CHAPTER XV.
CHAPTER XVI.
CHAPTER XVII.
CHAPTER XVIII.
CHAPTER XIX.
CHAPTER XX.
CHAPTER XXI.
CHAPTER XXII. In mid-winter, an event occurred of unusual interest to the inhabitants of the Montague house, and to the friends of the young ladies who sought their society.
CHAPTER XXIII.
CHAPTER XXIV.
CHAPTER XXV.
CHAPTER XXVI.
CHAPTER XXVII.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
CHAPTER XXIX.
CHAPTER XXX.
CHAPTER XXXI
CHAPTER, XXXII.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
CHAPTER XXXIV.
CHAPTER XXXV.
CHAPTER XXXVI.
CHAPTER XXXVII.
CHAPTER XXXVIII.
CHAPTER XXXIX.
CHAPTER XL.
CHAPTER XLI.
CHAPTER XLII
CHAPTER XLIII.
CHAPTER XLIV.
CHAPTER XLV.
CHAPTER XLVI.
CHAPTER XLVII.
CHAPTER XLVIII
CHAPTER XLIX.
CHAPTER L.
CHAPTER, LI
CHAPTER LII.
CHAPTER LIII.
CHAPTER LIV.
CHAPTER LV.
CHAPTER LVI.
CHAPTER LVII.
CHAPTER LVIII.
CHAPTER LIX.
CHAPTER LX.
CHAPTER LXI.
CHAPTER LXII
CHAPTER LXIII.
APPENDIX.
SKETCHES NEW AND OLD
CONTENTS:
PREFACE
SKETCHES NEW AND OLD
POLITICAL ECONOMY
THE JUMPING FROG
THOSE EVENING BELLS
THOSE ANNUAL BILLS
TO RAISE POULTRY
MY FIRST LITERARY VENTURE
JOHNNY GREER
THE CASE OF GEORGE FISHER
DISGRACEFUL PERSECUTION OF A BOY
THE JUDGE'S "SPIRITED WOMAN"
INFORMATION WANTED
SOME LEARNED FABLES, FOR GOOD OLD BOYS AND GIRLS
PART FIRST
SOME LEARNED FABLES FOR GOOD OLD BOYS AND GIRLS
SOME LEARNED FABLES FOR GOOD OLD BOYS AND GIRLS
RILEY-NEWSPAPER CORRESPONDENT
A FINE OLD MAN
A MEDIEVAL ROMANCE
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER IV
CHAPTER V.
PETITION CONCERNING COPYRIGHT
A PARAGRAPH NOT ADDED TO THE PETITION
AFTER-DINNER SPEECH
LIONIZING MURDERERS
A NEW CRIME
A CURIOUS DREAM
A TRUE STORY
A GHOST STORY
THE CAPITOLINE VENUS
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
CHAPTER IV
CHAPTER V
CHAPTER VI
SPEECH ON ACCIDENT INSURANCE
JOHN CHINAMAN IN NEW YORK
THE PETRIFIED MAN
MY BLOODY MASSACRE
THE UNDERTAKER'S CHAT
CONCERNING CHAMBERMAIDS
"AFTER" JENKINS
ABOUT BARBERS
"PARTY CRIES" IN IRELAND
THE FACTS CONCERNING THE RECENT RESIGNATION
HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF
HONORED AS A CURIOSITY
THE STRANGER'S NARRATIVE
THE WIDOW'S PROTEST
A CURIOUS PLEASURE EXCURSION
ADVERTISEMENT
DEPARTURE OF THE COMET
THE POSTAL SERVICE
THE INHABITANTS OF STARS
A GREAT FORCE OF MISSIONARIES,
THE DOG STAR
A STUPENDOUS VOYAGE
FIRST-CLASS FARE
OLD RAMSHACKLE COMETS
WE CARRY BULLETIN-BOARDS
FOR FURTHER PARTICULARS,
A MYSTERIOUS VISIT
CURIOUS REPUBLIC OF GONDOUR
THE CURIOUS REPUBLIC OF GONDOUR AND OTHER WHIMSICAL SKETCHES
NOTE:
TABLE OF CONTENTS
THE CURIOUS REPUBLIC OF GONDOUR
A MEMORY,
INTRODUCTORY TO "MEMORANDA"
ABOUT SMELLS
A COUPLE OF SAD EXPERIENCES
DAN MURPHY
THE "TOURNAMENT" IN A. D. 1870
CURIOUS RELIC FOR SALE
A REMINISCENCE OF THE BACK SETTLEMENTS
A ROYAL COMPLIMENT
THE APPROACHING EPIDEMIC
THE TONE-IMPARTING COMMITTEE
OUR PRECIOUS LUNATIC
INTRODUCTION
WHO WROTE 1601?
TWITTING THE REV. JOSEPH TWICHELL
"SAVE ME ONE."
HUMOR AT WEST POINT
FROM THE DEPTHS
FIGS FOR FIG LEAVES!
PROFESSOR SCENTS PORNOGRAPHY
DROLL STORY
THE CHARACTERS
THE ELIZABETHAN WRITERS
Act. I, Scene I,
Act. 2, Scene I,
GOOD OLD ENGLISH CUSTOM
AEOLIAN CREPITATIONS
"YE BOKE OF YE SIEUR MICHAEL DE MONTAINE"
"THEN SPAKE YE DAMNED WINDMILL, SIR WALTER"
YE VIRGIN QUEENE
"'BOCCACCIO HATH A STORY"
OLD SR. NICHOLAS THROGMORTON
"TO SAVE HIS DOTER'S MAIDENHEDDE"
PARTIAL BIBLIOGRAPHY
THE FACTS CONCERNING THE RECENT CARNIVAL OF CRIME IN CONNECTICUT
P R E F A C E
T O M S A W Y E R
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
CHAPTER IV
CHAPTER V
CHAPTER VI
CHAPTER VII
CHAPTER VIII
CHAPTER IX
CHAPTER X
CHAPTER XI
CHAPTER XII
CHAPTER XIII
CHAPTER XIV
CHAPTER XV
CHAPTER XVI
CHAPTER XVII
CHAPTER XVIII
CHAPTER XIX
CHAPTER XX
CHAPTER XXI
CHAPTER XXII
CHAPTER XXIII
CHAPTER XXIV
CHAPTER XXV
CHAPTER XXVI
CHAPTER XXVII
CHAPTER XXVIII
CHAPTER XXIX
CHAPTER XXX
CHAPTER XXXI
CHAPTER XXXII
CHAPTER XXXIII
CHAPTER XXXIV
CHAPTER XXXV
CONCLUSION
ALONZO FITZ AND OTHER STORIES
THE LOVES OF ALONZO FITZ CLARENCE AND ROSANNAH ETHELTON
II
III
IV
ON THE DECAY OF THE ART OF LYING
ABOUT MAGNANIMOUS-INCIDENT LITERATURE
THE GRATEFUL POODLE
SEQUEL
THE BENEVOLENT AUTHOR
THE GRATEFUL HUSBAND
PUNCH, BROTHERS, PUNCH
THE GREAT REVOLUTION IN PITCAIRN
THE CANVASSER'S TALE
AN ENCOUNTER WITH AN INTERVIEWER
PARIS NOTES
LEGEND OF SAGENFELD, IN GERMANY
II
SPEECH ON THE BABIES
SPEECH ON THE WEATHER
CONCERNING THE AMERICAN LANGUAGE
ROGERS
SOME RAMBLING NOTES OF AN IDLE EXCURSION
II
IV
THE STOLEN WHITE ELEPHANT
II
III
A TRAMP ABROAD
CHAPTER I [The Knighted Knave of Bergen]
CHAPTER II Heidelberg [Landing a Monarch at Heidelberg]
CHAPTER III Baker's Bluejay Yarn [What Stumped the Blue Jays]
CHAPTER IV Student Life [The Laborious Beer King]
CHAPTER V At the Students' Dueling-Ground [Dueling by Wholesale]
CHAPTER VI [A Sport that Sometimes Kills]
CHAPTER VII [How Bismark Fought]
CHAPTER VIII The Great French Duel [I Second Gambetta in a Terrific Duel]
CHAPTER IX [What the Beautiful Maiden Said]
CHAPTER X [How Wagner Operas Bang Along]
CHAPTER XI [I Paint a "Turner"]
CHAPTER XII [What the Wives Saved]
CHAPTER XIII [My Long Crawl in the Dark]
CHAPTER XIV [Rafting Down the Neckar]
CHAPTER XV Down the River [Charming Waterside Pictures]
CHAPTER XVI An Ancient Legend of the Rhine [The Lorelei]
CHAPTER XVII [Why Germans Wear Spectacles]
CHAPTER XVIII [The Kindly Courtesy of Germans]
CHAPTER XIX [The Deadly Jest of Dilsberg]
CHAPTER XX [My Precious, Priceless Tear-Jug]
CHAPTER XXI [Insolent Shopkeepers and Gabbling Americans]
CHAPTER XXII [The Black Forest and Its Treasures]
CHAPTER XXIII [Nicodemus Dodge and the Skeleton]
CHAPTER XXIV [I Protect the Empress of Germany]
CHAPTER XXV [Hunted by the Little Chamois]
CHAPTER XXVI [The Nest of the Cuckoo-clock]
CHAPTER XXVII [I Spare an Awful Bore]
CHAPTER XXVIII [The Jodel and Its Native Wilds]
CHAPTER XXIX [Looking West for Sunrise]
CHAPTER XXX [Harris Climbs Mountains for Me]
CHAPTER XXXI [Alp-scaling by Carriage]
CHAPTER XXXII [The Jungfrau, the Bride, and the Piano]
CHAPTER XXXIII [We Climb Far—by Buggy]
CHAPTER XXXIV [The World's Highest Pig Farm]
CHAPTER XXXV [Swindling the Coroner]
CHAPTER XXXVI [The Fiendish Fun of Alp-climbing]
CHAPTER XXXVII [Our Imposing Column Starts Upward]
CHAPTER XXXVIII [I Conquer the Gorner Grat]
CHAPTER XXXIX [We Travel by Glacier]
CHAPTER XL [Piteous Relics at Chamonix]
CHAPTER XLI [The Fearful Disaster of 1865]
CHAPTER XLII [Chillon has a Nice, Roomy Dungeon]
CHAPTER XLIII [My Poor Sick Friend Disappointed]
CHAPTER XLIV [I Scale Mont Blanc—by Telescope]
CHAPTER XLV A Catastrophe Which Cost Eleven Lives [Perished at the Verge of Safety]
CHAPTER XLVI [Meeting a Hog on a Precipice]
CHAPTER XLVII [Queer European Manners]
CHAPTER XLVIII [Beauty of Women—and of Old Masters]
CHAPTER XLIX [Hanged with a Golden Rope]
CHAPTER L [Titian Bad and Titian Good]
APPENDIX —————
THE PRINCE AND THE PAUPER
Chapter I. The birth of the Prince and the Pauper.
Chapter II. Tom's early life.
Chapter III. Tom's meeting with the Prince.
Chapter IV. The Prince's troubles begin.
Chapter V. Tom as a patrician.
Chapter VI. Tom receives instructions.
Chapter VII. Tom's first royal dinner.
Chapter VIII. The question of the Seal.
Chapter IX. The river pageant.
Chapter X. The Prince in the toils.
Chapter XI. At Guildhall.
Chapter XII. The Prince and his deliverer.
Chapter XIII. The disappearance of the Prince.
Chapter XIV. 'Le Roi est mort—vive le Roi.'
Chapter XV. Tom as King.
Chapter XVI. The State Dinner.
Chapter XVII. Foo-foo the First.
Chapter XVIII. The Prince with the tramps.
Chapter XIX. The Prince with the peasants.
Chapter XX. The Prince and the hermit.
Chapter XXI. Hendon to the rescue.
Chapter XXII. A victim of treachery.
Chapter XXIII. The Prince a prisoner.
Chapter XXIV. The escape.
Chapter XXV. Hendon Hall.
Chapter XXVI. Disowned.
Chapter XXVII. In prison.
Chapter XXVIII. The sacrifice.
Chapter XXIX. To London.
Chapter XXX. Tom's progress.
Chapter XXXI. The Recognition procession.
Chapter XXXII. Coronation Day.
Chapter XXXIII. Edward as King.
FOOTNOTES AND TWAIN'S NOTES
GENERAL NOTE.
LIFE ON THE MISSISSIPPI
THE 'BODY OF THE NATION'
Chapter 1 The River and Its History
Chapter 2 The River and Its Explorers
Chapter 3 Frescoes from the Past
Chapter 4 The Boys' Ambition
Chapter 5 I Want to be a Cub-pilot
Chapter 6 A Cub-pilot's Experience
Chapter 7 A Daring Deed
Chapter 8 Perplexing Lessons
Chapter 9 Continued Perplexities
Chapter 10 Completing My Education
Chapter 11 The River Rises
Chapter 12 Sounding
Chapter 13 A Pilot's Needs
Chapter 14 Rank and Dignity of Piloting
Chapter 15 The Pilots' Monopoly
Chapter 16 Racing Days
THE RECORD OF SOME FAMOUS
FAST TIME ON THE WESTERN WATERS
FROM NEW ORLEANS TO NATCHEZ—268 MILES
FROM NEW ORLEANS TO CAIRO—1,024 MILES
FROM NEW ORLEANS TO LOUISVILLE—1,440 MILES
FROM NEW ORLEANS TO DONALDSONVILLE—78 MILES
FROM NEW ORLEANS TO ST. LOUIS—1,218 MILES
FROM LOUISVILLE TO CINCINNATI—141 MILES
FROM LOUISVILLE TO ST. LOUIS—750 MILES
FROM CINCINNATI TO PITTSBURGH—490 MILES
FROM ST. LOUIS TO ALTON—30 MILES
MISCELLANEOUS RUNS
Chapter 17 Cut-offs and Stephen
Chapter 18 I Take a Few Extra Lessons
Chapter 19 Brown and I Exchange Compliments
Chapter 20 A Catastrophe
Chapter 21 A Section in My Biography
Chapter 22 I Return to My Muttons
Chapter 23 Traveling Incognito
Chapter 24 My Incognito is Exploded
Chapter 25 From Cairo to Hickman
Chapter 26 Under Fire
THE PILOT'S FIRST BATTLE
Chapter 27 Some Imported Articles
Chapter 28 Uncle Mumford Unloads
UNCLE MUMFORD'S IMPRESSIONS
Chapter 29 A Few Specimen Bricks
Chapter 30 Sketches by the Way
Chapter 31 A Thumb-print and What Came of It
Chapter 32 The Disposal of a Bonanza
Chapter 33 Refreshments and Ethics
Chapter 34 Tough Yarns
Chapter 35 Vicksburg During the Trouble
Chapter 36 The Professor's Yarn
Chapter 37 The End of the 'Gold Dust'
Chapter 38 The House Beautiful
Chapter 39 Manufactures and Miscreants
Chapter 40 Castles and Culture
Chapter 41 The Metropolis of the South
Chapter 42 Hygiene and Sentiment
Chapter 43 The Art of Inhumation
Chapter 44 City Sights
Chapter 45 Southern Sports
Chapter 46 Enchantments and Enchanters
Chapter 47 Uncle Remus and Mr. Cable
Chapter 48 Sugar and Postage
Chapter 49 Episodes in Pilot Life
Chapter 50 The 'Original Jacobs'
Chapter 51 Reminiscences
Chapter 52 A Burning Brand
Chapter 53 My Boyhood's Home
Chapter 54 Past and Present
Chapter 55 A Vendetta and Other Things
Chapter 56 A Question of Law
Chapter 57 An Archangel
Chapter 58 On the Upper River
Chapter 59 Legends and Scenery
Chapter 60 Speculations and Conclusions
APPENDIX A
APPENDIX B
APPENDIX C
APPENDIX D
HUCKLEBERRY FINN
NOTICE
EXPLANATORY
HUCKLEBERRY FINN
CHAPTER I.
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER IV.
CHAPTER V.
CHAPTER VI.
CHAPTER VII.
CHAPTER VIII.
CHAPTER IX.
CHAPTER X.
CHAPTER XI.
CHAPTER XII.
CHAPTER XIII.
CHAPTER XIV.
CHAPTER XV.
CHAPTER XVI.
CHAPTER XVII.
CHAPTER XVIII.
CHAPTER XIX.
CHAPTER XX.
CHAPTER XXI.
CHAPTER XXII.
CHAPTER XXIII.
CHAPTER XXIV.
CHAPTER XXV.
CHAPTER XXVI.
CHAPTER XXVII.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
CHAPTER XXIX.
CHAPTER XXX.
CHAPTER XXXI.
CHAPTER XXXII.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
CHAPTER XXXIV.
CHAPTER XXXV.
CHAPTER XXXVI.
CHAPTER XXXVII.
CHAPTER XXXVIII.
CHAPTER XXXIX.
CHAPTER XL.
CHAPTER XLI.
CHAPTER XLII.
CHAPTER THE LAST
A CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR'S COURT
PREFACE
A CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR'S COURT
A WORD OF EXPLANATION
THE STRANGER'S HISTORY
THE TALE OF THE LOST LAND
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
CHAPTER IV
CHAPTER V
CHAPTER VI
CHAPTER VII
CHAPTER VIII
CHAPTER IX
CHAPTER X
CHAPTER XI
CHAPTER XII
CHAPTER XIII
CHAPTER XIV
CHAPTER XV
CHAPTER XVI
CHAPTER XVII
CHAPTER XVIII
CHAPTER XIX
CHAPTER XX
CHAPTER XXI
CHAPTER XXII
CHAPTER XXIII
CHAPTER XXIV
CHAPTER XXV
CHAPTER XXVI
HIGH TIMES IN THE VALLEY
CHAPTER XXVII
CHAPTER XXVIII
CHAPTER XXIX
CHAPTER XXX
CHAPTER XXXI
CHAPTER XXXII
CHAPTER XXXIII
CHAPTER XXXIV
CHAPTER XXXV
CHAPTER XXXVI
CHAPTER XXXVII
CHAPTER XXXVIII
CHAPTER XXXIX
CHAPTER XL
CHAPTER XLI
CHAPTER XLII
CHAPTER XLIII
CHAPTER XLIV
THE END OF THE MANUSCRIPT
FINAL P.S. BY M.T.
THE AMERICAN CLAIMANT
EXPLANATORY
THE WEATHER IN THIS BOOK.
CHAPTER I.
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER IV.
CHAPTER V.
CHAPTER VI.
CHAPTER VII.
CHAPTER VIII.
CHAPTER IX.
CHAPTER X.
CHAPTER XI.
CHAPTER XII.
CHAPTER XIII.
CHAPTER XIV.
CHAPTER XV.
CHAPTER XVI.
CHAPTER XVII
CHAPTER XVIII.
CHAPTER XIX.
CHAPTER XX.
CHAPTER XXI.
CHAPTER XXII.
CHAPTER XXIII.
CHAPTER XXIV.
CHAPTER XXV.
APPENDIX.
EXTRACTS FROM ADAM'S DIARY
IN DEFENSE OF HARRIET SHELLEY
I
II
III
FENIMORE COOPER'S LITERARY OFFENCES
ESSAYS ON PAUL BOURGET
CONTENTS: WHAT PAUL BOURGET THINKS OF US A LITTLE NOTE TO M. PAUL BOURGET
WHAT PAUL BOURGET THINKS OF US
A LITTLE NOTE TO M. PAUL BOURGET
NOTICE.
TOM SAWYER ABROAD
CHAPTER I. TOM SEEKS NEW ADVENTURES
CHAPTER II. THE BALLOON ASCENSION
CHAPTER III. TOM EXPLAINS
CHAPTER IV. STORM
CHAPTER V. LAND
CHAPTER VI. IT'S A CARAVAN
CHAPTER VII. TOM RESPECTS THE FLEA
CHAPTER VIII. THE DISAPPEARING LAKE
CHAPTER IX. TOM DISCOURSES ON THE DESERT
CHAPTER X. THE TREASURE-HILL
CHAPTER XI. THE SAND-STORM
CHAPTER XII. JIM STANDING SIEGE
CHAPTER XIII. GOING FOR TOM'S PIPE:
THE TRAGEDY OF PUDD'NHEAD WILSON
A WHISPER TO THE READER
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
CONCLUSION
THOSE EXTRAORDINARY TWINS
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
CHAPTER IV
CHAPTER V
CHAPTER VI
CHAPTER VII
CHAPTER VIII
CHAPTER IX
CHAPTER X
FINAL REMARKS
PERSONAL RECOLLECTIONS OF JOAN OF ARC
Book II — IN COURT AND CAMP 1 Joan Says Good-By 2 The Governor Speeds Joan 3 The Paladin Groans and Boasts 4 Joan Leads Us Through the Enemy 5 We Pierce the Last Ambuscades 6 Joan Convinces the King 7 Our Paladin in His Glory 8 Joan Persuades the Inquisitors 9 She Is Made General-in-Chief 10 The Maid's Sword and Banner 11 The War March Is Begun 12 Joan Puts Heart in Her Army 13 Checked by the Folly of the Wise 14 What the English Answered 15 My Exquisite Poem Goes to Smash 16 The Finding of the Dwarf 17 Sweet Fruit of Bitter Truth 18 Joan's First Battle-Field 19 We Burst In Upon Ghosts 20 Joan Makes Cowards Brave Victors 21 She Gently Reproves Her Dear Friend 22 The Fate of France Decided 23 Joan Inspires the Tawdry King 24 Tinsel Trappings of Nobility 25 At Last—Forward! 26 The Last Doubts Scattered 27 How Joan Took Jargeau
Volume 1.
TRANSLATOR'S PREFACE
A PECULIARITY OF JOAN OF ARC'S HISTORY
THE SIEUR LOUIS DE CONTE
BOOK I IN DOMREMY
Chapter 1 When Wolves Ran Free in Paris
Chapter 2 The Fairy Tree of Domremy
Chapter 3 All Aflame with Love of France
Chapter 4 Joan Tames the Mad Man
Chapter 5 Domremy Pillaged and Burned
Chapter 6 Joan and Archangel Michael
Chapter 7 She Delivers the Divine Command
Chapter 8 Why the Scorners Relented
BOOK II IN COURT AND CAMP
Chapter 2 The Governor Speeds Joan
Chapter 3 The Paladin Groans and Boasts
Chapter 4 Joan Leads Us Through the Enemy
Chapter 5 We Pierce the Last Ambuscades
Chapter 6 Joan Convinces the King
Chapter 7 Our Paladin in His Glory
Chapter 8 Joan Persuades Her Inquisitors
Chapter 9 She Is Made General-in-Chief
Chapter 10 The Maid's Sword and Banner
Chapter 11 The War March Is Begun
Chapter 12 Joan Puts Heart in Her Army
Chapter 13 Checked by the Folly of the Wise
Chapter 14 What the English Answered
Chapter 15 My Exquisite Poem Goes to Smash
Chapter 16 The Finding of the Dwarf
Chapter 17 Sweet Fruit of Bitter Truth
Chapter 18 Joan's First Battle-Field
Chapter 19 We Burst In Upon Ghosts
Chapter 20 Joan Makes Cowards Brave Victors
Chapter 21 She Gently Reproves Her Dear Friend
Chapter 22 The Fate of France Decided
Chapter 23 Joan Inspires the Tawdry King
Chapter 24 Tinsel Trappings of Nobility
Chapter 25 At Last—Forward!
Chapter 26 The Last Doubts Scattered
Chapter 27 How Joan Took Jargeau
PERSONAL RECOLLECTIONS OF JOAN OF ARC VOL. 2
PERSONAL RECOLLECTIONS OF JOAN OF ARC
Volume 2.
Chapter 28 Joan Foretells Her Doom
Chapter 39 We Win, But the King Balks
CONCLUSION
TOM SAWYER, DETECTIVE
CHAPTER I. AN INVITATION FOR TOM AND HUCK
CHAPTER II. JAKE DUNLAP
CHAPTER III. A DIAMOND ROBBERY
CHAPTER IV. THE THREE SLEEPERS
CHAPTER V. A TRAGEDY IN THE WOODS
CHAPTER VI. PLANS TO SECURE THE DIAMONDS
CHAPTER VII. A NIGHT'S VIGIL
CHAPTER VIII. TALKING WITH THE GHOST
CHAPTER IX. FINDING OF JUBITER DUNLAP
CHAPTER X. THE ARREST OF UNCLE SILAS
CHAPTER XI. TOM SAWYER DISCOVERS THE MURDERERS
FOLLOWING THE EQUATOR A JOURNEY AROUND THE WORLD BY MARK TWAIN SAMUEL L. CLEMENS HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT
THE PUDD'NHEAD MAXIMS. THESE WISDOMS ARE FOR THE LURING OF YOUTH TOWARD HIGH MORAL ALTITUDES. THE AUTHOR DID NOT GATHER THEM FROM PRACTICE, BUT FROM OBSERVATION. TO BE GOOD IS NOBLE; BUT TO SHOW OTHERS HOW TO BE GOOD IS NOBLER AND NO TROUBLE.
CONTENTS
CHAPTER II. Change of Costume—Fish, Snake, and Boomerang Stories—Tests of Memory —A Brahmin Expert—General Grant's Memory—A Delicately Improper Tale
CHAPTER III. Honolulu—Reminiscences of the Sandwich Islands—King Liholiho and His Royal Equipment—The Tabu—The Population of the Island—A Kanaka Diver —Cholera at Honolulu—Honolulu; Past and Present—The Leper Colony
CHAPTER IV. Leaving Honolulu—Flying-fish—Approaching the Equator—Why the Ship Went Slow—The Front Yard of the Ship—Crossing the Equator—Horse Billiards or Shovel Board—The Waterbury Watch—Washing Decks—Ship Painters—The Great Meridian—The Loss of a Day—A Babe without a Birthday
CHAPTER V. A lesson in Pronunciation—Reverence for Robert Burns—The Southern Cross—Troublesome Constellations—Victoria for a Name—Islands on the Map—Alofa and Fortuna—Recruiting for the Queensland Plantations —Captain Warren's NoteBook—Recruiting not thoroughly Popular
CHAPTER VI. Missionaries Obstruct Business—The Sugar Planter and the Kanaka—The Planter's View—Civilizing the Kanaka The Missionary's View—The Result —Repentant Kanakas—Wrinkles—The Death Rate in Queensland
CHAPTER VII. The Fiji Islands—Suva—The Ship from Duluth—Going Ashore—Midwinter in Fiji—Seeing the Governor—Why Fiji was Ceded to England—Old time Fijians—Convicts among the Fijians—A Case Where Marriage was a Failure Immortality with Limitations
CHAPTER VIII. A Wilderness of Islands—Two Men without a Country—A Naturalist from New Zealand—The Fauna of Australasia—Animals, Insects, and Birds—The Ornithorhynchus—Poetry and Plagiarism
CHAPTER IX.
CHAPTER X. The Discovery of Australia—Transportation of Convicts—Discipline —English Laws, Ancient and Modern—Flogging Prisoners to Death—Arrival of Settlers—New South Wales Corps—Rum Currency—Intemperance Everywhere $100,000 for One Gallon of Rum—Development of the Country—Immense Resources
CHAPTER XI. Hospitality of English-speaking People—Writers and their Gratitude—Mr. Gane and the Panegyrics—Population of Sydney An English City with American Trimming—"Squatters"—Palaces and Sheep Kingdoms—Wool and Mutton—Australians and Americans—Costermonger Pronunciation—England is "Home"—Table Talk—English and Colonial Audiences 124
CHAPTER XII. Mr. X., a Missionary—Why Christianity Makes Slow Progress in India—A Large Dream—Hindoo Miracles and Legends—Sampson and Hanuman—The Sandstone Ridge—Where are the Gates?
CHAPTER XIII. Public Works in Australasia—Botanical Garden of Sydney—Four Special Socialties—The Government House—A Governor and His Functions—The Admiralty House—The Tour of the Harbor—Shark Fishing—Cecil Rhodes' Shark and his First Fortune—Free Board for Sharks.
CHAPTER XIV. Bad Health—To Melbourne by Rail—Maps Defective—The Colony of Victoria —A Round-trip Ticket from Sydney—Change Cars, from Wide to Narrow Gauge, a Peculiarity at Albury—Customs-fences—"My Word"—The Blue Mountains—Rabbit Piles—Government R. R. Restaurants—Duchesses for Waiters—"Sheep-dip"—Railroad Coffee—Things Seen and Not Seen
CHAPTER XV. Wagga-Wagga—The Tichborne Claimant—A Stock Mystery—The Plan of the Romance—The Realization—The Henry Bascom Mystery—Bascom Hall—The Author's Death and Funeral
CHAPTER XVI. Melbourne and its Attractions—The Melbourne Cup Races—Cup Day—Great Crowds—Clothes Regardless of Cost—The Australian Larrikin—Is He Dead? Australian Hospitality—Melbourne Wool-brokers—The Museums—The Palaces —The Origin of Melbourne
CHAPTER XVII. The British Empire—Its Exports and Imports—The Trade of Australia—To Adelaide—Broken Hill Silver Mine—A Roundabout road—The Scrub and its Possibilities for the Novelist—The Aboriginal Tracker—A Test Case—How Does One Cow-Track Differ from Another?
CHAPTER XVIII. Gum Trees—Unsociable Trees—Gorse and Broom—A universal Defect—An Adventurer—Wanted L200, got L20,000,000—A Vast Land Scheme—The Smash-up—The Corpse Got Up and Danced—A Unique Business by One Man —Buying the Kangaroo Skin—The Approach to Adelaide—Everything Comes to Him who Waits—A Healthy Religious sphere—What is the Matter with the Specter?
CHAPTER XIX.
CHAPTER XX. A Caller—A Talk about Old Times—The Fox Hunt—An Accurate Judgment of an Idiot—How We Passed the Custom Officers in Italy
CHAPTER XXI. The "Weet-Weet"—Keeping down the Population—Victoria—Killing the Aboriginals—Pioneer Days in Queensland—Material for a Drama—The Bush —Pudding with Arsenic Revenge—A Right Spirit but a Wrong Method—Death of Donga Billy
CHAPTER XXII. Continued Description of Aboriginals—Manly Qualities—Dodging Balls —Feats of Spring—Jumping—Where the Kangaroo Learned its Art 'Well Digging—Endurance—Surgery—Artistic Abilities—Fennimore Cooper's Last Chance—Australian Slang
CHAPTER XXIII. To Horsham (Colony of Victoria)—Description of Horsham—At the Hotel —Pepper Tree-The Agricultural College, Forty Pupils—High Temperature —Width of Road in Chains, Perches, etc.—The Bird with a Forgettable Name—The Magpie and the Lady—Fruit Trees—Soils—Sheep Shearing—To Stawell —Gold Mining Country—$75,000 per Month Income and able to Keep House —Fine Grapes and Wine—The Dryest Community on Earth—The Three Sisters —Gum Trees and Water
CHAPTER XXIV.
CHAPTER XXV. Bound for Bendigo—The Priest at Castlemaine—Time Saved by Walking —Description of Bendigo—A Valuable Nugget—Perseverence and Success —Mr. Blank and His Influence—Conveyance of an Idea—I Had to Like the Irishman—Corrigan Castle, and the Mark Twain Club—My Bascom Mystery Solved
CHAPTER XXVI. Where New Zealand Is—But Few Know—Things People Think They Know—The Yale Professor and His Visitor from N. Z.
CHAPTER XXVII. The South Pole Swell—Tasmania—Extermination of the Natives—The Picture Proclamation—The Conciliator—The Formidable Sixteen
CHAPTER XXVIII. When the Moment Comes the Man Appears—Why Ed. Jackson called on Commodore Vanderbilt—Their Interview—Welcome to the Child of His Friend —A Big Time but under Inspection—Sent on Important Business—A Visit to the Boys on the Boat
CHAPTER XXIX: Tasmania, Early Days—Description of the Town of Hobart—An Englishman's Love of Home Surroundings—Neatest City on Earth—The Museum—A Parrot with an Acquired Taste—Glass Arrow Beads—Refuge for the Indigent too healthy
CHAPTER XXX. Arrival at Bluff, N. Z.—Where the Rabbit Plague Began—The Natural Enemy of the Rabbit—Dunedin—A Lovely Town—Visit to Dr. Hockin—His Museum —A Liquified Caterpillar—The Unperfected Tape Worm—The Public Museum and Picture
CHAPTER XXXI. The Express Train—"A Hell of a Hotel at Maryborough" —Clocks and Bells—Railroad Service.
CHAPTER XXXII. Description of the Town of Christ Church—A Fine Museum—Jade-stone Trinkets—The Great Man—The First Maori in New Zealand—Women Voters —"Person" in New Zealand Law Includes Woman—Taming an Ornithorhynchus —A Voyage in the 'Flora' from Lyttelton—Cattle Stalls for Everybody —A Wonderful Time.
CHAPTER XXXIII. The Town of Nelson—"The Mongatapu Murders," the Great Event of the Town —Burgess' Confession—Summit of Mount Eden—Rotorua and the Hot Lakes and Geysers—Thermal Springs District—Kauri Gum—Tangariwa Mountains
CHAPTER XXXIV. The Bay of Gisborne—Taking in Passengers by the Yard Arm—The Green Ballarat Fly—False Teeth—From Napier to Hastings by the Ballarat Fly Train—Kauri Trees—A Case of Mental Telegraphy
CHAPTER XXXV. Fifty Miles in Four Hours—Comfortable Cars—Town of Wauganui—Plenty of Maoris—On the Increase—Compliments to the Maoris—The Missionary Ways all Wrong—The Tabu among the Maoris—A Mysterious Sign—Curious War-monuments—Wellington
CHAPTER XXXVI. The Poems of Mrs. Moore—The Sad Fate of William Upson—A Fellow Traveler Imitating the Prince of Wales—A Would-be Dude—Arrival at Sydney —Curious Town Names with Poem
CHAPTER XXXVII. From Sydney for Ceylon—A Lascar Crew—A Fine Ship—Three Cats and a Basket of Kittens—Dinner Conversations—Veuve Cliquot Wine—At Anchor in King George's Sound Albany Harbor—More Cats—A Vulture on Board—Nearing the Equator again—Dressing for Dinner—Ceylon, Hotel Bristol—Servant Brampy—A Feminine Man—Japanese Jinriksha or Cart—Scenes in Ceylon—A Missionary School—Insincerity of Clothes
CHAPTER XXXVIII. Steamer Rosettes to Bombay—Limes 14 cents a Barrel—Bombay, a Bewitching City—Descriptions of People and Dress—Woman as a Road Decoration —India, the Land of Dreams and Romance—Fourteen Porters to Carry Baggage —Correcting a Servant—Killing a Slave—Arranging a Bedroom—Three Hours' Work and a Terrible Racket—The Bird of Birds, the Indian Crow
CHAPTER XXXIX. God Vishnu, 108 Names—Change of Titles or Hunting for an Heir—Bombay as a Kaleidoscope—The Native's Man Servant—Servants' Recommendations—How Manuel got his Name and his English—Satan—A Visit from God
CHAPTER XL. The Government House at Malabar Point—Mansion of Kumar Shri Samatsin Hji Bahadur—The Indian Princess—A Difficult Game—Wardrobe and Jewels —Ceremonials—Decorations when Leaving—The Towers of Silence—A Funeral
CHAPTER XLI. Jain Temple—Mr. Roychand's Bungalow—A Decorated Six-Gun Prince—Human Fireworks—European Dress, Past and Present—Complexions—Advantages with the Zulu—Festivities at the Bungalow-Nautch Dancers—Entrance of the Prince—Address to the Prince
CHAPTER XLII. A Hindoo Betrothal, midnight, Sleepers on the ground, Home of the Bride of Twelve Years Dressed as a Boy—Illumination Nautch Girls—Imitating Snakes—Later—Illuminated Porch Filled with Sleepers—The Plague
CHAPTER XLIII Murder Trial in Bombay—Confidence Swindlers—Some Specialities of India —The Plague, Juggernaut, Suttee, etc.—Everything on Gigantic Scale —India First in Everything—80 States, more Custom Houses than Cats—Rich Ground for Thug Society
CHAPTER XLIV. Thug Book—Supplies for Traveling, Bedding, and other Freight—Scene at Railway Station—Making Way for White Man—Waiting Passengers, High and Low Caste, Touch in the cars—Our Car—Beds made up—Dreaming of Thugs —Baroda—Meet Friends—Indian Well—The Old Town—Narrow Streets—A Mad Elephant
CHAPTER XLVI. The Thugs—Government Efforts to Exterminate them—Choking a Victim A Fakeer Spared—Thief Strangled
CHAPTER XLVII. Thugs, Continued—Record of Murders—A Joy of Hunting and Killing Men —Gordon Gumming—Killing an Elephant—Family Affection among Thugs —Burial Places
CHAPTER XLVIII. Starting for Allahabad—Lower Berths in Sleepers—Elderly Ladies have Preference of Berths—An American Lady Takes One Anyhow—How Smythe Lost his Berth—How He Got Even—The Suttee
CHAPTER XLIX. Pyjamas—Day Scene in India—Clothed in a Turban and a Pocket Handkerchief—Land Parceled Out—Established Village Servants—Witches in Families—Hereditary Midwifery—Destruction of Girl Babies—Wedding Display—Tiger-Persuader—Hailstorm Discourages—The Tyranny of the Sweeper—Elephant Driver—Water Carrier—Curious Rivers—Arrival at Allahabad—English Quarter—Lecture Hall Like a Snowstorm—Private Carriages—A Milliner—Early Morning—The Squatting Servant—A Religious Fair
CHAPTER L. On the Road to Benares—Dust and Waiting—The Bejeweled Crowd—A Native Prince and his Guard—Zenana Lady—The Extremes of Fashion—The Hotel at Benares—An Annex a Mile Away—Doors in India—The Peepul Tree—Warning against Cold Baths—A Strange Fruit—Description of Benares—The Beginning of Creation—Pilgrims to Benares—A Priest with a Good Business Stand—Protestant Missionary—The Trinity Brahma, Shiva, and Vishnu —Religion the Business at Benares
CHAPTER LI. Benares a Religious Temple—A Guide for Pilgrims to Save Time in Securing Salvation
CHAPTER LII. A Curious Way to Secure Salvation—The Banks of the Ganges—Architecture Represents Piety—A Trip on the River—Bathers and their Costumes —Drinking the Water—A Scientific Test of the Nasty Purifier—Hindoo Faith in the Ganges—A Cremation—Remembrances of the Suttee—All Life Sacred Except Human Life—The Goddess Bhowanee, and the Sacrificers—Sacred Monkeys—Ugly Idols Everywhere—Two White Minarets—A Great View with a Monkey in it—A Picture on the Water
CHAPTER LIII. Still in Benares—Another Living God—Why Things are Wonderful—Sri 108 Utterly Perfect—How He Came so—Our Visit to Sri—A Friendly Deity Exchanging Autographs and Books—Sri's Pupil—An Interesting Man —Reverence and Irreverence—Dancing in a Sepulchre
CHAPTER LIV. Rail to Calcutta—Population—The "City of Palaces"—A Fluted Candle-stick—Ochterlony—Newspaper Correspondence—Average Knowledge of Countries—A Wrong Idea of Chicago—Calcutta and the Black Hole —Description of the Horrors—Those Who Lived—The Botanical Gardens—The Afternoon Turnout—Grand Review—Military Tournament—Excursion on the Hoogly—The Museum—What Winter Means Calcutta
CHAPTER LV On the Road Again—Flannels in Order—Across Country—From Greenland's Icy Mountain—Swapping Civilization—No Field women in India—How it is in Other Countries—Canvas-covered Cars—The Tiger Country—My First Hunt Some Elephants Get Away—The Plains of India—The Ghurkas—Women for Pack-Horses—A Substitute for a Cab—Darjeeling—The Hotel—The Highest Thing in the Himalayas—The Club—Kinchinjunga and Mt. Everest —Thibetans—The Prayer Wheel—People Going to the Bazar
CHAPTER LVI. On the Road Again—The Hand-Car—A Thirty-five-mile Slide—The Banyan Tree—A Dramatic Performance—The Railroad—The Half-way House—The Brain Fever Bird—The Coppersmith Bird—Nightingales and Cue Owls
CHAPTER LVII. India the Most Extraordinary Country on Earth—Nothing Forgotten—The Land of Wonders—Annual Statistics Everywhere about Violence—Tiger vs. Man—A Handsome Fight—Annual Man Killing and Tiger Killing—Other Animals—Snakes—Insurance and Snake Tables—The Cobra Bite—Muzaffurpore —Dinapore—A Train that Stopped for Gossip—Six Hours for Thirty-five Miles—A Rupee to the Engineer—Ninety Miles an Hour—Again to Benares, the Piety Hive To Lucknow
CHAPTER LVIII. The Great Mutiny—The Massacre in Cawnpore—Terrible Scenes in Lucknow —The Residency—The Siege
CHAPTER LIX. A Visit to the Residency—Cawnpore—The Adjutant Bird and the Hindoo Corpse—The Tai Mahal—The True Conception—The Ice Storm—True Gems —Syrian Fountains—An Exaggerated Niagara
CHAPTER LX. To Lahore—The Governor's Elephant—Taking a Ride-No Danger from Collision—Rawal Pindi—Back to Delhi—An Orientalized Englishman —Monkeys and the Paint-pot—Monkey Crying over my Note-book—Arrival at Jeypore—In Rajputana—Watching Servants—The Jeypore Hotel—Our Old and New Satan—Satan as a Liar—The Museum—A Street Show—Blocks of Houses —A Religious Procession
CHAPTER LXI. Methods in American Deaf and Dumb Asylums—Methods in the Public Schools —A Letter from a youth in Punjab—Highly Educated Service—A Damage to the Country—A Little Book from Calcutta—Writing Poor English —Embarrassed by a Beggar Girl—A Specimen Letter—An Application for Employment—A Calcutta School Examination—Two Samples of Literature
CHAPTER LXII. Sail from Calcutta to Madras—Thence to Ceylon—Thence for Mauritius —The Indian Ocean—Our Captain's Peculiarity The Scot Has one too—The Flying-fish that Went Hunting in the Field—Fined for Smuggling—Lots of pets on Board—The Color of the Sea—The Most Important Member of Nature's Family—The Captain's Story of Cold Weather—Omissions in the Ship's Library—Washing Decks—Pyjamas on Deck—The Cat's Toilet—No Interest in the Bulletin—Perfect Rest—The Milky Way and the Magellan Clouds—Mauritius—Port Louis—A Hot Country—Under French Control —A Variety of People and Complexions—Train to Curepipe—A Wonderful Office-holder—The Wooden Peg Ornament—The Prominent Historical Event of Mauritius—"Paul and Virginia"—One of Virginia's Wedding Gifts—Heaven Copied after Mauritius—Early History of Mauritius—Quarantines —Population of all Kinds—What the World Consists of—Where Russia and Germany are—A Picture of Milan Cathedral—Newspapers—The Language—Best Sugar in the World—Literature of Mauritius
CHAPTER LXIII. Port Louis—Matches no Good—Good Roads—Death Notices—Why European Nations Rob Each Other—What Immigrants to Mauritius Do—Population —Labor Wages—The Camaron—The Palmiste and other Eatables—Monkeys—The Cyclone of 1892—Mauritius a Sunday Landscape
CHAPTER LXIV. The Steamer "Arundel Castle"—Poor Beds in Ships—The Beds in Noah's Ark —Getting a Rest in Europe—Ship in Sight—Mozambique Channel—The Engineer and the Band—Thackeray's "Madagascar"—Africanders Going Home —Singing on the After Deck—An Out-of-Place Story—Dynamite Explosion in Johannesburg—Entering Delagoa Bay—Ashore—A Hot Winter—Small Town—No Sights—No Carriages—Working Women—Barnum's Purchase of Shakespeare's Birthplace, Jumbo, and the Nelson Monument—Arrival at Durban
CHAPTER LXV. Royal Hotel Durban—Bells that Did not Ring—Early Inquiries for Comforts —Change of Temperature after Sunset-Rickhaws—The Hotel Chameleon —Natives not out after the Bell—Preponderance of Blacks in Natal—Hair Fashions in Natal—Zulus for Police—A Drive round the Berea—The Cactus and other Trees—Religion a Vital Matter—Peculiar Views about Babies —Zulu Kings—A Trappist Monastery—Transvaal Politics—Reasons why the Trouble came About
CHAPTER LXVI. Jameson over the Border—His Defeat and Capture—Sent to England for Trial—Arrest of Citizens by the Boers—Commuted sentences—Final Release of all but Two—Interesting Days for a Stranger—Hard to Understand Either Side—What the Reformers Expected to Accomplish—How They Proposed to do it—Testimonies a Year Later—A "Woman's Part"—The Truth of the South African Situation—"Jameson's Ride"—A Poem
CHAPTER LXVIL Jameson's Raid—The Reform Committee's Difficult Task—Possible Plans —Advice that Jameson Ought to Have—The War of 1881 and its Lessons —Statistics of Losses of the Combatants—Jameson's Battles—Losses on Both Sides—The Military Errors—How the Warfare Should Have Been Carried on to Be Successful
CHAPTER LXVIII. Judicious Mr. Rhodes—What South Africa Consists of—Johannesburg—The Gold Mines—The Heaven of American Engineers—What the Author Knows about Mining—Description of the Boer—What Should be Expected of Him—What Was A Dizzy Jump for Rhodes—Taxes—Rhodesian Method of Reducing Native Population—Journeying in Cape Colony—The Cars—The Country—The Weather—Tamed Blacks—Familiar Figures in King William's Town—Boer Dress—Boer Country Life—Sleeping Accommodations—The Reformers in Boer Prison—Torturing a Black Prisoner
CHAPTER LXIX. An Absorbing Novelty—The Kimberley Diamond Mines—Discovery of Diamonds —The Wronged Stranger—Where the Gems Are—A Judicious Change of Boundary—Modern Machinery and Appliances—Thrilling Excitement in Finding a Diamond—Testing a Diamond—Fences—Deep Mining by Natives in the Compound—Stealing—Reward for the Biggest Diamond—A Fortune in Wine—The Great Diamond—Office of the De Beer Co.—Sorting the Gems —Cape Town—The Most Imposing Man in British Provinces—Various Reasons for his Supremacy—How He Makes Friends
FOLLOWING THE EQUATOR
CHAPTER I.
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER IV.
CHAPTER V.
CHAPTER VI.
CHAPTER VII.
CHAPTER VIII.
XVII.
CHAPTER IX.
CHAPTER X.
CHAPTER XI.
CHAPTER XII.
CHAPTER XIII.
CHAPTER XIV.
CHAPTER XV.
CHAPTER XVI.
CHAPTER XVII.
CHAPTER XVIII.
CHAPTER XIX.
CHAPTER XX.
CHAPTER XXI.
CHAPTER XXII.
CHAPTER XXIII.
CHAPTER XXIV.
CHAPTER XXV.
CHAPTER XXVI.
CHAPTER XXVIL
CHAPTER XXVIII.
CHAPTER XXIX.
CHAPTER XXX.
CHAPTER XXXI.
CHAPTER XXXII.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
CHAPTER XXXIV.
CHAPTER XXXV.
CHAPTER XXXVI.
CHAPTER XXXVII.
CHAPTER XXXVIII.
CHAPTER XXXIX.
CHAPTER XL.
CHAPTER XLI.
CHAPTER XLII.
CHAPTER XLIII.
CHAPTER XLIV.
CHAPTER XLV.
CHAPTER XLVI.
CHAPTER XLVII.
CHAPTER XLVIII.
CHAPTER XLIX.
CHAPTER L.
CHAPTER LI.
CHAPTER LII.
CHAPTER LIII.
CHAPTER LIV.
CHAPTER LV.
FROM DIARY:
CHAPTER LVI.
CHAPTER LVII.
CHAPTER, LVIII.
CHAPTER LIX.
CHAPTER LX.
CHAPTER LXI.
CHAPTER LXII.
CHAPTER LXIII.
CHAPTER LXIV.
CHAPTER LXV.
CHAPTER LXVI.
CHAPTER LXVII.
CHAPTER LXVIII.
CHAPTER LXIX.
CONCLUSION.
THE MAN THAT CORRUPTED HADLEYBURG AND OTHER STORIES
CONTENTS: THE MAN THAT CORRUPTED HADLEYBURG MY FIRST LIE, AND HOW I GOT OUT OF IT THE ESQUIMAUX MAIDEN'S ROMANCE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE AND THE BOOK OF MRS. EDDY IS HE LIVING OR IS HE DEAD? MY DEBUT AS A LITERARY PERSON AT THE APPETITE-CURE CONCERNING THE JEWS FROM THE 'LONDON TIMES' OF 1904 ABOUT PLAY-ACTING TRAVELLING WITH A REFORMER DIPLOMATIC PAY AND CLOTHES LUCK THE CAPTAIN'S STORY STIRRING TIMES IN AUSTRIA MEISTERSCHAFT MY BOYHOOD DREAMS TO THE ABOVE OLD PEOPLE IN MEMORIAM—OLIVIA SUSAN CLEMENS
THE MAN THAT CORRUPTED HADLEYBURG
II
III
IV
MY FIRST LIE, AND HOW I GOT OUT OF IT
THE ESQUIMAUX MAIDEN'S ROMANCE
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE AND THE BOOK OF MRS. EDDY
II
III
IV
V
VI
VII
VIII
IX
IS HE LIVING OR IS HE DEAD?
MY DEBUT AS A LITERARY PERSON
HENRY FERGUSON'S DIARY TO DATE, GIVEN IN FULL:
NOTE SECRETLY PASSED BY HENRY TO HIS BROTHER:
REPLY:
SECOND NOTE:
AT THE APPETITE-CURE
II
CONCERNING THE JEWS
FROM THE 'LONDON TIMES' OF 1904
II
III
ABOUT PLAY-ACTING
I
II
TRAVELLING WITH A REFORMER
DIPLOMATIC PAY AND CLOTHES
LUCK
THE CAPTAIN'S STORY
STIRRING TIMES IN AUSTRIA
I. THE GOVERNMENT IN THE FRYING-PAN.
II. A MEMORABLE SITTING.
III.—CURIOUS PARLIAMENTARY ETIQUETTE.
IV.—THE HISTORIC CLIMAX
PRIVATE HISTORY OF THE 'JUMPING FROG' STORY
THE ATHENIAN AND THE FROG.[1]
MY MILITARY CAMPAIGN
MEISTERSCHAFT
DRAMATIS PERSONAE:
ACT I. SCENE I.
ACT II. SCENE I.
ACT III.
MY BOYHOOD DREAMS
TO THE ABOVE OLD PEOPLE
EDITORIAL NOTE
IN MEMORIAM
CONTENTS:
WHAT IS MAN?
II
III
IV
V
VI
THE DEATH OF JEAN
THE TURNING-POINT OF MY LIFE
II
HOW TO MAKE HISTORY DATES STICK
THE MEMORABLE ASSASSINATION
A SCRAP OF CURIOUS HISTORY
SWITZERLAND, THE CRADLE OF LIBERTY
AT THE SHRINE OF ST. WAGNER
ENGLISH AS SHE IS TAUGHT
ON GIRLS
A SIMPLIFIED ALPHABET
CONCERNING TOBACCO
THE BEE
TAMING THE BICYCLE
I
IS SHAKESPEARE DEAD?
V
VII
VIII
IX
X
XI
XII
XIII
THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER
THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
A FABLE
HUNTING THE DECEITFUL TURKEY
A DOUBLE BARRELLED DETECTIVE
PART I
I
II
III
V
PART II
I
VII
III
IV
THE "WRONG MAN'S" STORY
V
THE $30,000 BEQUEST
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
CHAPTER IV
CHAPTER V
CHAPTER VI
CHAPTER VII
CHAPTER VIII
A DOG'S TALE
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
WAS IT HEAVEN? OR HELL?
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
CHAPTER IV
CHAPTER V
CHAPTER VI
CHAPTER VII
CHAPTER VIII
CHAPTER IX
CHAPTER X
A CURE FOR THE BLUES
THE CURIOUS BOOK
THE ENEMY CONQUERED; OR, LOVE TRIUMPHANT
THE CALIFORNIAN'S TALE
A HELPLESS SITUATION
THE LETTER
THE REPLY
A TELEPHONIC CONVERSATION
EDWARD MILLS AND GEORGE BENTON: A TALE
THE FIVE BOONS OF LIFE
Chapter I
Chapter II
Chapter III
Chapter IV
Chapter V
THE FIRST WRITING-MACHINES
1904. VILLA QUARTO, FLORENCE, JANUARY.
ITALIAN WITHOUT A MASTER
ITALIAN WITH GRAMMAR
A BURLESQUE BIOGRAPHY
HOW TO TELL A STORY
THE WOUNDED SOLDIER
THE GOLDEN ARM
GENERAL WASHINGTON'S NEGRO BODY-SERVANT
"ANOTHER RELIC OF THE REVOLUTION GONE."
ANOTHER OLD HERO GONE
ANOTHER CHERISHED REMNANT OF THE REVOLUTION GONE
WIT INSPIRATIONS OF THE "TWO-YEAR-OLDS"
AN ENTERTAINING ARTICLE
AN ENGLISH CRITIC ON MARK TWAIN
REVIEWS OF NEW BOOKS
A LETTER TO THE SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY
AMENDED OBITUARIES
A MONUMENT TO ADAM
A HUMANE WORD FROM SATAN
INTRODUCTION TO "THE NEW GUIDE OF THE CONVERSATION IN
DIALOGUE 16
DIALOGUE 17
ADVICE TO LITTLE GIRLS
POST-MORTEM POETRY [1]
DIED
LINES
THE DANGER OF LYING IN BED
PORTRAIT OF KING WILLIAM III
COMMENDATIONS OF THE PORTRAIT
DOES THE RACE OF MAN LOVE A LORD?
EXTRACTS FROM ADAM'S DIARY
KEEP OFF
THE GRASS
EVE'S DIARY
A HORSE'S TALE
CHAPTER I—SOLDIER BOY—PRIVATELY TO HIMSELF
CHAPTER II—LETTER FROM ROUEN—TO GENERAL ALISON
CHAPTER III—GENERAL ALISON TO HIS MOTHER
CHAPTER IV—CATHY TO HER AUNT MERCEDES
CHAPTER V—GENERAL ALISON TO MERCEDES
CHAPTER VI—SOLDIER BOY AND THE MEXICAN PLUG
CHAPTER VII—SOLDIER BOY AND SHEKELS
CHAPTER VIII—THE SCOUT-START. BB AND LIEUTENANT-GENERAL ALISON
CHAPTER IX—SOLDIER BOY AND SHEKELS AGAIN
CHAPTER X—GENERAL ALISON AND DORCAS
CHAPTER XI—SEVERAL MONTHS LATER. ANTONIO AND THORNDIKE
CHAPTER XII—MONGREL AND THE OTHER HORSE
PART II—IN SPAIN
CHAPTER XIII—GENERAL ALISON TO HIS MOTHER
CHAPTER XIV—SOLDIER BOY—TO HIMSELF
CHAPTER XV—GENERAL ALISON TO MRS. DRAKE, THE COLONEL'S WIFE
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE
PREFACE
Book II was written at the beginning of 1903, and has not until now appeared in any form. In it my purpose has been to present a character-portrait of Mrs. Eddy, drawn from her own acts and words solely, not from hearsay and rumor; and to explain the nature and scope of her Monarchy, as revealed in the Laws by which she governs it, and which she wrote herself.
BOOK I CHRISTIAN SCIENCE
CHAPTER I VIENNA 1899.
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
CHAPTER IV
CHAPTER V
CHAPTER VI
CHAPTER VII
CHAPTER VIII
CHAPTER IX
BOOK II
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
CHAPTER IV
POSTSCRIPT
CHAPTER V
SUMMARY
CHAPTER VI
"MASSACHUSETTS METAPHYSICAL COLLEGE
THE PASTOR EMERITUS
THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS
THE PRESIDENT
TREASURER AND CLERK
BOARD OF TRUSTEES
READERS
ELECTION OF READERS
THE ARISTOCRACY
CHURCH MEMBERSHIP
AND SOME ENGLISH REQUIRED
"READERS" AGAIN
MONOPOLY OF SPIRITUAL BREAD
THE NEW INFALLIBILITY
THE SACRED POEMS
THE CHURCH EDIFICE
PRAYER
THE LORD'S PRAYER-AMENDED
THE NEW UNPARDONABLE SIN
AXE AND BLOCK
READING LETTERS AT MEETINGS
HONESTY REQUISITE
FURTHER APPLICATIONS OF THE AXE
MORE SELF-PROTECTIONS
BOARD OF EDUCATION
PUBLIC TEACHERS
BOARD OF LECTURESHIP
MISSIONARIES
THE BY-LAWS
COPYRIGHT
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE PUBLISHING ASSOCIATION
THE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE PUBLISHING SOCIETY
CHAPTER VIII
"MOTHER-CHURCH UNIQUE"
"NO FIRST MEMBERS"
"THE"
A LIFE-TERM MONOPOLY
A PERPETUAL ONE
THE SANCTUM SANCTORUM AND SACRED CHAIR
THE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE PASTOR-UNIVERSAL
PRICE OF THE PASTOR-UNIVERSAL
SEVEN HUNDRED PER CENT.
CHAPTER IX
CHAPTER X
CHAPTER XI
CHAPTER XII
CHAPTER XIII
CHAPTER XIV
CHAPTER XV
APPENDIX A
APPENDIX B
APPENDIX C
APPENDIX D
APPENDIX E
APPENDIX F
MRS. EDDY IN ERROR
MAIN PARTS OF THE MACHINE
DISTRIBUTION OF THE MACHINE'S POWERS AND DIGNITIES
CONCLUSION
EXTRACT FROM CAPTAIN STORMFIELD'S VISIT TO HEAVEN
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II
GOLDSMITH'S FRIEND ABROAD AGAIN
LETTER I
LETTER II
LETTER III
LETTER IV
LETTER V
LETTER VI
LETTER VII
HOW TO TELL A STORY AND OTHERS
CONTENTS: HOW TO TELL A STORY THE WOUNDED SOLDIER THE GOLDEN ARM MENTAL TELEGRAPHY AGAIN THE INVALIDS STORY
HOW TO TELL A STORY
MENTAL TELEGRAPHY AGAIN
THE INVALID'S STORY
MARK TWAIN'S SPEECHES
CONTENTS:
INTRODUCTION
PREFACE
MARK TWAIN'S SPEECHES
THE STORY OF A SPEECH
PLYMOUTH ROCK AND THE PILGRIMS
COMPLIMENTS AND DEGREES
BOOKS, AUTHORS, AND HATS
DEDICATION SPEECH
DIE SCHRECKEN DER DEUTSCHEN SPRACHE [THE HORRORS OF THE GERMAN LANGUAGE]
GERMAN FOR THE HUNGARIANS
A NEW GERMAN WORD
UNCONSCIOUS PLAGIARISM
THE WEATHER
THE BABIES
OUR CHILDREN AND GREAT DISCOVERIES
EDUCATING THEATRE-GOERS
THE EDUCATIONAL THEATRE
POETS AS POLICEMEN
PUDD'NHEAD WILSON DRAMATIZED
DALY THEATRE
THE DRESS OF CIVILIZED WOMAN
DRESS REFORM AND COPYRIGHT
COLLEGE GIRLS
GIRLS
THE LADIES
WOMAN'S PRESS CLUB
VOTES FOR WOMEN
WOMAN-AN OPINION
ADVICE TO GIRLS
TAXES AND MORALS
TAMMANY AND CROKER
MUNICIPAL CORRUPTION
MUNICIPAL GOVERNMENT
CHINA AND THE PHILIPPINES
THEORETICAL MORALS
LAYMAN'S SERMON
UNIVERSITY SETTLEMENT SOCIETY
PUBLIC EDUCATION ASSOCIATION
EDUCATION AND CITIZENSHIP
COURAGE
THE DINNER TO MR. CHOATE
ON STANLEY AND LIVINGSTONE
HENRY M. STANLEY
DINNER TO MR. JEROME
HENRY IRVING
DINNER TO HAMILTON W. MABIE
INTRODUCING NYE AND RILEY
DINNER TO WHITELAW REID
ROGERS AND RAILROADS
THE OLD-FASHIONED PRINTER
SOCIETY OF AMERICAN AUTHORS
READING-ROOM OPENING
LITERATURE
DISAPPEARANCE OF LITERATURE
THE NEW YORK PRESS CLUB DINNER
THE ALPHABET AND SIMPLIFIED SPELLING
SPELLING AND PICTURES
BOOKS AND BURGLARS
AUTHORS' CLUB
BOOKSELLERS
"MARK TWAIN'S FIRST APPEARANCE"
MORALS AND MEMORY
QUEEN VICTORIA
JOAN OF ARC
ACCIDENT INSURANCE—ETC.
OSTEOPATHY
WATER-SUPPLY
MISTAKEN IDENTITY
CATS AND CANDY
OBITUARY POETRY
CIGARS AND TOBACCO
BILLIARDS
THE UNION RIGHT OR WRONG
AN IDEAL FRENCH ADDRESS
STATISTICS
GALVESTON ORPHAN BAZAAR
SAN FRANCISCO EARTHQUAKE
CHARITY AND ACTORS
RUSSIAN REPUBLIC
RUSSIAN SUFFERERS
WATTERSON AND TWAIN AS REBELS
ROBERT FULTON FUND
FULTON DAY, JAMESTOWN
LOTOS CLUB DINNER IN HONOR OF MARK TWAIN
COPYRIGHT
IN AID OF THE BLIND
DR. MARK TWAIN, FARMEOPATH
MISSOURI UNIVERSITY SPEECH
BUSINESS
CARNEGIE THE BENEFACTOR
ON POETRY, VERACITY, AND SUICIDE
WELCOME HOME
AN UNDELIVERED SPEECH
SIXTY-SEVENTH BIRTHDAY
TO THE WHITEFRIARS
THE ASCOT GOLD CUP
THE SAVAGE CLUB DINNER
GENERAL MILES AND THE DOG
WHEN IN DOUBT, TELL THE TRUTH
THE DAY WE CELEBRATE,
INDEPENDENCE DAY
AMERICANS AND THE ENGLISH
ABOUT LONDON
PRINCETON
THE ST. LOUIS HARBOR-BOAT "MARK TWAIN"
SEVENTIETH BIRTHDAY
MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS COMPLETE
MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS 1853-1866
FOREWORD
MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS
MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS
I
II
III
Part of a letter to Mrs. Jane Clemens, in St. Louis:
IV
V
Part of a letter to Mrs. Jane Clemens and Mrs. Moffett, in St. Louis:
VI.
MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS 1867-1875
VOLUME II.
VII.
VIII.
IX.
X.
XI.
XII.
Part of a letter to Mrs. Jervis Langdon, of Elmira, N. Y.:
XIII.
XIV.
XV.
MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS 1876-1885
VOLUME III.
XVI.
XVII.
XVIII.
Part of letter to W. D. Howells, in Boston:
XIX.
XX.
XXI.
XXII.
XXIII.
XXIV
XXV
MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS 1886-1900
VOLUME IV.
XXVI
I
II
XXVII
XXVIII
XXIX
LETTERS, 1890, CHIEFLY TO JOS. T. GOODMAN. THE GREAT MACHINE ENTERPRISE
XXXI
XXXII
XXXIII
XXXIV
XXXV
XXXVI
Part of a letter to H. H. Rogers, in New York:
XXXVII
XXXVIII
LETTERS OF 1900, MAINLY TO TWICHELL. THE BOER WAR. BOXER TROUBLES. THE RETURN TO AMERICA
MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS 1901-1906
VOLUME V.
XL
XLI
XLII
XLIII
XLIV
XLV
PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL
MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS 1907-1910
VOLUME VI.
XLVI
XLVII
XLVIII
THE LAST DAY AT STORMFIELD
APPENDIX X
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