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Copyright like most juicy stories, it started with one boy and two girls upper east side schoolgirl uncovers shocking sex scandal! even cowgirls from vermont get the blues psychotic stalkers come in small packages all dressed up with no place to go just another manic school day v helps b notice the little things b-r-e-a-s-t—find out what it means to me! the only thing assholes are good for it’s not a party without a hairless crasher you know it’s a good cocktail if you can’t taste the booze n learns to inhale, among other things bald as a fish out of water in one door and out the other once upon a friday night snow falling on cheaters v can’t wash d out of what’s left of her hair there were three in the bed and the little one said, “what the *$#@?” our bodies, ourselves what’s love got to do with it? hms stoner boy wimbledon can wait s channels all the best leading ladies “that’s one f—ed up little prince,” said the caterpillar to the butterfly b is for binge and p is for purge stoned dudes can read between the lines s and b create the ultimate distraction one day little j woke up and she wasn’t so little anymore s scores with two girls in one night! d really sort of maybe does have a girlfriend a kiss is just a kiss—at least, that’s the lie we tell ourselves don’t believe everything you read even though he’s not a cat person look what the tooth fairy dragged in something is amiss in the state of denmark v practices restraint n knows the magic password ugly hearts have feelings too polar bears and falcons and pigeons, oh my! j meets the mother she never had check out their sweet suite swimsuit weather is just around the corner the hills are alive with the sound of s’s beating heart v plays hard to get her heart’s on his sleeve and he’s wrapped around her little finger s comes of age in the wrinkle room v catches d with his pants on the mean reds vs. the blues n tosses and turns in his teeny-tiny twin bed b has mail what the ladies-who-lunch talk about during lunch d can’t lose this loving feeling b only comes in one color s is lucky to have a brother who can’t read her mind fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads down and out in malariaville d’s already found it if only the captain would jump ship rapunzel, rapunzel, let down your hair sixteen candles the real reason for going to sleepaway camp b engages in phone pda in jfk j sure hasn’t missed much s finds instant cure for the doldrums d has smelled worse s is a sight for sore eyes a nice day for an off-white wedding the best way to cool off is to take your clothes off life according to b summer lovin’ happened so fast honesty: it’s just another word epilogue Acknowledgments
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