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Blurb
Praise for James Brady’s Fashion Show
Also by James Brady
Copyright
Dedication
1 A matter of some delicacy.
2 She suspected Chanel was trying to get her into bed.
3 I noticed his curious gait.
4 Oh, a worm!
5 People will say it’s trash.
6 As soon as I was suckled, she was off.
7 When they shot Dr. King and then Bobby Kennedy… I decided to get out.
8 Cheering and applauding, weeping and carrying on.
9 “Mon petit Indien,” murmured Chanel.
10 Eating asparagus with their fingers and the butter running down their chins.
11 Suppose someone came after him with a horsewhip?
12 Have you noticed her liver spots?
13 At this rate you’ll never bury the poor chap.
14 The mandolin lady was very old and had whiskers.
15 You know what they call him on Fire Island?
16 Tell Sharkey about the Blue Train, Olivier.
17 Stepping down to enter Dracula’s castle.
18 Pinsky does not do donkeys.
19 The creator of the New Look ate himself to death.
20 I didn’t want to be laughed at.
21 He’s a hundred years old and he has a girlfriend.
22 Howling, cursing, singing, often in Gregorian chant.
23 Terrible for the country. And Hart Schaffner and Marx.
24 South of Rome you always carry your billfold inside your underwear.
25 How can you find bad pizza in Italy?
26 There was no one or nothing holding me in Paris.
27 Tom and Huck, Damon and Pythias.
28 Fortunately, I had a revolver in my stateroom.
29 She had Paris, of course, and all its carnal arts.
30 This is Count Vava… active in émigré circles.
31 Vulgar people pretending to have taste.
32 It’s historic: the long-anticipated return of the peplum!
33 Call Roy Cohn… . Roy’s organizing everything.
34 I wonder if Nunc wet the bed. I must ask him.
35 Hush! That’s Lindbergh in his gallant silver plane!
36 They’ll swim naked each morning and drink a lot of wine.
37 Face of a monkey, mouth of a sewer.
38 Was Moby Dick the man or the fish?
39 So cheap he sends his socks to France to be washed.
40 The macaw perched on his shoulder, where it subsequently enjoyed a small bowel movement.
41 Calvin Klein, hiding in the men’s room.
42 Please tie me to the bedposts.
43 He makes these things up. I KNOW he does.
44 He stroked a beautiful piece of cloth and wept.
45 Park Avenue sucking up to the Black Leopards.
46 Do we have a picture of Lucille Ball without a gin bottle?
47 Everyone has a morgue folder somewhere.
48 I suppose we’ll have to stare at her armpits all day.
49 That’s when you called her a geisha girl?
50 Are we in favor of the ozone layer or opposed?
51 Go to work for Hitler or play piano in a cabaret.
52 Go to Woody Allen and turn right.
53 Surreptitiously urinating into the white wine.
54 Olivier of Hollywood… had a nervous breakdown.
55 Yale men trust each other.
56 Don’t you turn first to the obituary pages of the Times? I know I do.
57 Madama Butterfly! Bingo announced authoritatively. It was Bohème.
58 My mother, who as you know, was shot down by Nazis.
59 A sperm whale, perhaps sixty feet long, hung from the ceiling.
60 Pillage and rape… spoils of war.
61 Madonna’s our Grace Kelly.
62 Pardon me, Pinsky…. I was in a bad chamber.
63 Nude photos floating about. Right along with the Ivory soap.
64 I’ll explain I’m a cross-dresser.
65 What a dirty old man Wyeth is!
66 Cruise the steam room and check out the priests.
67 “Ah yes,” said Henry Kissinger, “we all serve in our own way.”
68 He killed a man, you know, Claus von Bülow remarked.
69 God belongs to everyone… even Episcopalians.
70 Certainly no one has better manners than Princess Tiny Meat.
71 Wait till you meet “Street Dog.”
72 It would have been such fun visiting Clive in prison.
73 … an Australian. The loud kind, a disheveled Errol Flynn.
74 French workmen and idlers called to her.
75 A Paul Profonde collection is a powerful mystical experience.
76 Lunatics like Marsh and girls like me…
77 The decline of decency and civility in America…
78 Is Cristina Ford still around?
79 Sows’ purses out of silk.
80 They’ll cheat you, these lads, if they’re dead.
81 “Didn’t Marsh sack you?” I asked Elegant Hopkins.
82 Remember George C. Scott in Patton?
83 The designer’s own wife wept openly throughout…
84 A slap in the face of Bingo.
85 A decent, God-fearing place with the finest modern plumbing.
86 No more sucking up to Grottnex?
87 Western values… and the ingenuity of American plumbing.
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