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Index
TITLE PAGE
AUTHOR’ NOTE
COPYRIGHT
THE DOOR
I’M JUST NO GOOD AT RHYMING
THE ISLAND WHERE EVERYONE’S TOBY
GROWN-UPS ARE BETTER (I)
THE GOOD-CHILD TEST
ALPHABET BOOK (BY THE LAZIEST ARTIST IN THE WORLD)
THE ONE-EYED ORR
IF YOU EVER HAVE TO MEMORIZE A POEM OF TWENTY LINES OR LONGER AND DELIVER IT TO YOUR CLASS, THEN THIS IS A PRETTY GOOD CHOICE
TOASTED KNIGHT FOR LUNCH AGAIN?
MY DESSERT TUMMY
THE DUEL
THE GECKO
YOU’LL NEVER FEEL AS TALL AS WHEN YOU’RE TEN
THE FROG RACE
THE LAST TIME I EVER WENT DOWN TO BREAKFAST WITHOUT MAKING MY BED
A SHORT SAGA
HEY, KIDS! GET YOUR PARENTS TO READ YOU THIS POEM!
’TIS BETTER . . .
THE POEM THAT’S TITLED “THE DOOR”
YESTERDAY’S TOMORROW
THE CYCLOPS JUST GOT GLASSES
THE HUNGRY GIRAFFE
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE (THE TEACHER AND THE CHILD)
THE INCREDIBLE STORY OF THE DAY THE GLISTENING CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO WAS SAVED FROM CERTAIN DESTRUCTION BY A LOWLY SNAIL
THE SWEETEST LULLABY EVER (FOR PARENTS TO TELL THEIR CHILDREN)
CHOCOLATE FOR BREAKFAST
SOMEBODY STOLE MY BAGEL’S HOLE
HOW THE FOURTH GRADER COMMUNICATES
RE-VERSE
SOMETIMES I DON’T WANT TO SHARE
DEEP IN THE LAND OF CA’NAROT
INFINITY POEM
THE UNIPEDE
THE RACE
FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE?
THE WHYDOO INSIDE YOU
THE VALLEYS SHAPE THE MOUNTAINS
LIVE EACH DAY LIKE IT’S YOUR LAST
GROWN-UPS ARE BETTER (II)
THE SHORTEST ANACONDA IN THE WORLD
DISNEYLAND HAD NOTHING ON THIS PLACE
THE OLD WOMAN WHO LIVED IN ACHOO
THE LITTLE HURTS
WHAT HAPPENED TO US MONSTERS? (THE MUMMY’S LAMENT)
THE REMARKABLE AGE
JUST BECAUSE I’M A TURKEY SANDWICH AND SOME CHIPS DOESN’T MEAN I DON’T HAVE FEELINGS TOO, YOU KNOW!
HEY, WE FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THAT STORY ABOUT THE SNAIL WHO SAVED SAN FRANCISCO!
EIGHT
EPILOGUE
THE SECRET OF MY ART
THE POEM THAT’S TITLED “THE POEM THAT’S TITLED ‘THE DOOR’”
LUCK
I’M SHY ON THE OUTSIDE
THE LEMONADE STAND STAND
I LOVE QUIET
TWO ROADS
JACK SPRAT (UPDATED)
ROLLER COASTER + EARTHQUAKE = ?
THE ARGUMENT
TRAPPED!
UNFAIR RIDDLE #1
UNFAIR RIDDLE #2
UNFAIR RIDDLE #3
THE INVISIBLE HORSE
GOOD THINGS
JACK MAKES A FATAL STRATEGIC BLUNDER
THE WORLD’S BEST OFFER
THE NURSERY RHYME “LITTLE BOY BLUE,” WITH SOME WORDS REPLACED BY DELICIOUS GREEK FOOD
NEVER SWITCH YOUR LAUNDRY DETERGENT WITH YOUR DISHWASHER DETERGENT
THE ABDOMINAL SNOWMAN
NOTHING RHYMES WITH DUTHING
THE MONSTER UNDER MY BED INSTEAD IS DEAD
PICTURE PUZZLE!
TEN GINORMOUS HIPPOS JUMPED ON A BED
I DON’T LIKE MY ILLUSTRATOR
YES MEANS NO AND NO MEANS YES…
I’M ALWAYS HAPPY IN MY ROOM
THE RULES OF “TIC”
THE POEM THAT’S TITLED “THE POEM THAT’S TITLED ‘THE POEM THAT’S TITLED ‘THE DOOR’’”
JUST BE YOURSELF
THE INCREDIBLE BARGAIN
I’M OLD FOR MY AGE
HOW TO DESIGNATE AN UNGULATE
THE WAY WE’RE ALL THE SAME
OUT ON THE FARM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT
A COLD-AIR BALLOON
WHAT? YOU THINK I HAVE A BAD MEMORY?
GROWN-UPS ARE BETTER (III)
I AM NOT EVEN GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS NEXT THING
THE NEW BAD WORD
WORST. BIRTHDAY PARTY. EVER.
SALLY THE CENTIPEDE GETS HER SHOES ON TO TAKE A WALK WITH HER MOM
UNDER MY DRAGON’S WING
ON THE OTHER HAND, THEY BOTH HATE DANDELIONS
EVEN THE BUTTERFLY
MORAL: IF IT’S NOT YOUR MAGIC WAND, LEAVE IT ALONE
THE ICE CREAM MONDAE
L-O-V-E
JIGSAW PUZZLE DIFFICULTY CHART
THE POEM THAT’S TITLED “THE POEM THAT’S TITLED ‘THE POEM THAT’S TITLED ‘THE POEM THAT’S TITLED ‘THE DOOR’’’”
THE LATEST BEDTIME OF ALL
THE LOSER’S CHEER
THE CHILD’S FAREWELL
THE PARENT’S RESPONSE
ON MY INTENTIONS OF EXPANDING MY EXPERIENCES EATING GARDEN CUISINE, WITH AN APPROXIMATE TIME FRAME INCLUDED
LET’S MEET RIGHT HERE IN TWENTY-FIVE YEARS
UM, YOU CAN STOP READING NOW. THAT WAS THE LAST POEM.
OOPS, THAT ACCIDENTALLY RHYMED. OKAY, SO THAT WAS THE LAST POEM. BUT THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY NO MORE FROM HERE. SO STOP READING.
DARN IT! I’M JUST NO GOOD AT NOT RHYMING. BUT I’M TELLING YOU, THIS IS REALLY THE END!
INDEX OF TITLES (IN THE BOOK)
OUTDEX (OF TITLES THAT DID NOT MAKE THE FINAL CUT)
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
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