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"ABE" LINCOLN'S ANECDOTES AND STORIES "ABE" LINCOLN'S ANECDOTES AND STORIES
A FUN-LOVING AND HUMOR-LOVING MAN MATRIMONIAL ADVICE A SLOW HORSE A VAIN GENERAL HAD CONFIDENCE IN HIM—"BUT"— HARDTACK BETTER THAN GENERALS DOUGLAS HELD LINCOLN'S HAT HIS PASSES TO RICHMOND NOT HONORED LINCOLN AS A DANCER LOVED SOLDIERS' HUMOR WANTED TO "BORROW" THE ARMY "FIXED UP" A BIT FOR THE "CITY FOLKS" "FIND OUT FOR YOURSELVES" COLD MOLASSES WAS SWIFTER "DON'T KILL HIM WITH YOUR FIST" "AND—HERE I AM!" PRAISES HIS RIVAL FOR OFFICE HAD TO WAIT FOR HIM MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF IT, ANYWAY SORRY FOR THE HORSES NOISE LIKE A TURNIP LET SIX SKUNKS GO ONE THING "ABE" DIDN'T LOVE THE MAN HE WAS LOOKING FOR WANTED STANTON SPANKED SIX FEET FOUR AT SEVENTEEN JUST LIKE SEWARD "ABE" GOT THE WORST OF IT HE "SET 'EM UP" GOD WITH A LITTLE "g" WHAT AILED THE BOYS "MAJOR-GENERAL, I RECKON" IT TICKLED THE LITTLE WOMAN HE'D SEE IT AGAIN SURE CURE FOR BOILS JUSTICE vs. NUMBERS LINCOLN SAW STANTON ABOUT IT SLEEP STANDING UP "ABE'S" LITTLE JOKE HOW "FIGHTING JOE" WAS APPOINTED NO OTHERS LIKE THEM THE DANDY AND THE BOYS BOAT HAD TO STOP RAN AWAY WHEN VICTORIOUS HE "SKEWED" THE LINE "HOW DO YOU GET OUT OF THIS PLACE?" HELL A MILE FROM THE WHITE HOUSE 'TWAS "MOVING DAY" "ABE'S" HAIR NEEDED COMBING RIGHT FOR ONCE, ANYHOW "SMELT NO ROYALTY IN OUR CARRIAGE" SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE REMINDED HIM OF "A LITTLE STORY" BIG ENOUGH HOG FOR HIM HOW "JAKE" GOT AWAY "ABE" RESENTED THE INSULT STORIES BETTER THAN DOCTORS "ALL SICKER'N YOUR MAN" "DID YE ASK MORRISSEY YET?" LINCOLN ASKED TO BE SHOT HE COULDN'T WAIT FOR THE COLONEL HE LOVED A GOOD STORY THE DEAD MAN SPOKE LINCOLN PRONOUNCED THIS STORY FUNNY "PLOUGH ALL 'ROUND HIM" "I'VE LOST MY APPLE" LINCOLN'S APOLOGY TO GRANT A USELESS DOG HE'D RUIN ALL THE OTHER CONVICTS IT WAS UP-HILL WORK HIS "GLASS HACK" COULD LICK ANY MAN IN THE CROWD NO DEATHS IN HIS HOUSE LINCOLN'S NAME FOR "WEEPING WATER" EASIER TO EMPTY THE POTOMAC A "FREE FOR ALL" THE OTHER ONE WAS WORSE COULD MAKE "RABBIT-TRACKS" PETER CARTWRIGHT'S DESCRIPTION OF LINCOLN WISHED THE ARMY CHARGED LIKE THAT "UNCLE ABRAHAM" HAD EVERYTHING READY DIDN'T TRUST THE COURT "TAD" GOT HIS DOLLAR ROUGH ON THE NEGRO "LONG ABE'S" FEET "PROTRUDED OVER" "I'D A BEEN MISSED BY MYSE'F" LOST HIS CERTIFICATE OF CHARACTER THE CASE OF BETSY ANN DOUGHERTY "FOOLING" THE PEOPLE HER ONLY IMPERFECTION HE "BROKE" TO WIN "BAP." McNABB'S ROOSTER LINCOLN'S FIRST SPEECH TOO MANY PIGS FOR THE TEATS MORE PEGS THAN HOLES FEW, BUT BOISTEROUS THE PRESIDENTIAL "CHIN-FLY" "WEBSTER COULDN'T HAVE DONE MORE" LONG AND SHORT OF IT 'SQUIRE BAGLY'S PRECEDENT TOM CORWIN'S LATEST STORY THE CABINET WAS A-SETTIN' "MASSA LINKUM LIKE DE LORD!" A BULLET THROUGH HIS HAT THE GENERAL WAS "HEADED IN" "MIXING" AND "MINGLING" WANTED TO BURN HIM DOWN TO THE STUMP CHALLENGED ALL COMERS WITHDREW THE COLT SWEET, BUT MILD REVENGE "CATCH 'EM AND CHEAT 'EM" A JURYMAN'S SCORN "TAD" INTRODUCES "OUR FRIENDS" STOOD UP THE LONGEST ADMIRED THE STRONG MAN SAVED LINCOLN'S LIFE WOULD BLOW THEM TO H——. "I CAN STAND IT IF THEY CAN" A MORTIFYING EXPERIENCE GRANT HELD ON ALL THE TIME EVERY LITTLE HELPED KEPT UP THE ARGUMENT THOUGHT OF LEARNING A TRADE THE SAME OLD RUM COULDN'T LET GO THE HOG HIS KNOWLEDGE OF HUMAN NATURE TOOK NOTHING BUT MONEY CREDITOR PAID DEBTOR'S DEBT CONSCRIPTING DEAD MEN MAJOR ANDERSON'S BAD MEMORY SETTLED OUT OF COURT NO VANDERBILT LINCOLN MISTAKEN FOR ONCE "DONE WITH THE BIBLE" SATISFACTION TO THE SOUL HIS TEETH CHATTERED PROFANITY AS A SAFETY-VALVE A STAGE-COACH STORY SENTINEL OBEYED ORDERS "WUZ GOIN' TER BE 'HITCHED'"
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