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Index
Cover Title Page Contents Dedication Chapter 1 Party (a, to, of) Chapter 2 Two Guys Chapter 3 Dark, Slightly Smelly Places in My Soul (and Elsewhere) Chapter 4 Monday Chapter 5 Godless, Homosexual, Vegetarian Communists Chapter 6 The Masturbation Chapter Chapter 7 Hypotheticals Chapter 8 Way Too Much Whining and Some Thoughts on Pissing Chapter 9 Jerks, Myoclonic and Otherwise Chapter 10 Balls, Butts, Puke, and The Grapes of Wrath Chapter 11 A Short Dramatic Presentation of a Wells Family Dinner, Followed by a Quick Review of the Entire History of My Love Life Chapter 12 Showtime Chapter 13 Missing—One English Teacher, Last Seen Wearing a Tie and Carrying a Really Boring Novel Chapter 14 Oncoming Trains and a Large Variety of Similarly Strained Metaphors Chapter 15 You Know, Guy Stuff Chapter 16 Seven Rhetorical Questions I Would Like Answered Chapter 17 Letters Chapter 18 Two More Theories About Curtis and a Car Ride with Louis Chapter 19 Mitchell Gets a Haircut Chapter 20 Almost Poetry—A Party in Five Haiku Chapter 21 A Catalog of the Basic Emotions of a Seventeen-Year-Old Boy Chapter 22 Realities and a Not-Quite Lie or Two Chapter 23 The Day the World Changed (Some Observations About Breasts) Chapter 24 Life Is Different Chapter 25 Words I Thought Were English Chapter 26 More Words I Thought Were English Chapter 27 Pure Terror Chapter 28 WQQD Chapter 29 Prom and Punishment Chapter 30 Monosyllabic Utterances Chapter 31 Regulars Chapter 32 Monday, Again Acknowledgments Imprint
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