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Bad Movie Beware
100 Movies that No Human Being Should Ever Watch
How Did This Happen!?
Cheesy Slasher Flix
A Bothered Conscience: Indecisive Disorder
A Brush with Death: Like, totally lame. Totally.
Bikini Girls on Ice: Stupidity by the numbers
Butchered: Yes, a pound of bad acting, please.
Cheerleader Massacre 2: Pom-poms, boobies, and killer toys. WTF.
Daddy’s Girl: Innocence has lame writing
Disturbed: Beer goggles won’t save this one.
Dreamaniac: Nightmare of stupid proportions
Evil Remains: Oblivious
Frozen in Fear: Like eating yellow snow…
Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2: Uh…No, Rob
In the Dead of Winter: Banjos, keyboards, and buffoonary
Mother’s Day Massacre: Throw Momma under the damn bus
Rabid Love: Musical montage from hell
Return to Sleepaway Camp: Camp Crappymovie
Secrets of the Clown: As if I really wanted to know…
Slaughter High: School spirit is in the crapper
Slaughterhouse Massacre: The meat tastes funny…
Train: More like “Train Wreck”
Monster Fails
Almost Human: Well, not really even remotely close, but okay
Altered: People panicking for 90 minutes
Assault of the Sasquatch: Oh, my poor brain…
The Beast of Yucca Flats: Shh…Don’t interrupt the narrator!
Breeders: I hope that alien has been tested…
Die-ner (Get it?): Hey, waitress! This food tastes like It was marinated in stupid!
Dracula 3000: I am…Suckula.
Eegah!: Movie leave bad smell in air
Feeding Grounds: This one gave me food poisoning
Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus: The waters went foul QUICK.
Osombie: Bin Laden is a zombie…and so are the actors
Parasitic: Worst case of crabs EVER
Pinocchio’s Revenge: A REAL piece of…
Piranha 3DD: Water contaminated with stupidity
Robo Croc: Steve Irwin just rolled in his grave a little
Sand Sharks: “Mommy, the beach smells BAD.”
Severed-Forest of the Dead: Can’t see the trees for all the dead guys
Sharknado: A natural DUH-saster
Track of the Moonbeast: I want my intelligence back…
Vicious: Unrelentingly Craptacular
The Wickeds: Zombies, Vampires, Gore…and Ron Jeremy?
The Zombinator: Braaiiins…or the lack thereof
Supernatural Silliness
Amityville 3D: Not 3D and not good
Bachelor Party at the Bungalow of the Damned: Cite for stupidity ordinance violation
Book of Shadows-Blair Witch 2: Randomness haunts these woods
Demonic: Naked chicks with bubba teeth…and Tom Savini.
Drag Me to Hell…For watching this stupid movie
The House Where Evil Dwells…And yawns
In Search of Lovecraft: He’s in his grave…spinning
Night of the Scarecrow: Maybe the wizard will give this movie a brain
Nightscape: I no longer believe in anything
Slices of Life: Tales from the dumb side
Succubus: They got the “suck” part right
Wishmaster: Genie in the crapper
Wishmaster 2: One was enough. Really…
Scientific Stupidity
The Amazing Transparent Man: More like the lackluster invisible gimp
The Ape Man: “Monkey Business” is putting it nicely…
The Atomic Brain: A story that will leave you drooling…
Battlefield Earth: Travolta must pay…with his career
The Black Hole: SyFy strikes again
The Final Days of Planet Earth…and Daryl Hannah’s career
The Last Sentinel: Apocalyptic Randomness
Masters of the Universe: Don’t mess with the “do,” man…
The Phoenix Rises: Not even close
Stonados: Rocks in the Gas Tank
Supernova: The sun is going to blaaaaaahhhhhhh…
Teenagers from Outer Space: In space no one can see you drool…
Holiday Hoopla
Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill!: Grindhouse at its finest
Jack Frost: Awkward. That’s all I’ve got. Awkward.
Krampus, The Christmas Devil: Awkward. SO awkward.
Leprechaun: The dog turd in the clover patch.
Santa Claus: I want what Santa’s smoking for Christmas, Mommy!
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians: Please shoot me.
Santa Claws: The litter box smells weird.
Santa’s Slay: Ho, Ho, DIE.
The Search for Santa Paws: Assaulted by warm and fuzzy.
Silent Night: Santa’s off his meds.
Silent Night, Deadly Night: Ho! Ho! Ho! Who wants a bloodbath for Christmas?
Silent Night, Deadly Night 2: Death by over-acting.
Thankskilling: Turkey stuffed with s**t
The Star Wars Holiday Special: I watched a wookie do bad things…
What the Hell?
1313 Cougar Cult: Old Chicks and half-naked college boys. Jesus…
Alien vs. Ninja: I’m sorry, what?
Another Gay Movie: I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE.
Barbarian Queen: In a time of ancient Gods, warlords, and boobies…
Birdemic 2-The Resurrection: Oh, the f**king PAIN…
Blood Mania: For the love of sweet Jesus…
Bloodrayne-The Third Reich: Utter shiesse.
Brain Twisters: Mental Status-Retarded.
Double Dragon: Double crap on toast
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie: Hollywood resorts to dumpster-diving.
The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror: Yes, I’ve sunk that low…
Gingerdead Man: Those aren’t chocolate chips…
The House that Screamed: More liked the House that SUCKED.
Inara, The Jungle Girl: Is Brain Liquification an STD?
Manos-The Hands of Fate: What is the black s**t under your fingernails?
Prime Evil: That awkward smell on my DVD shelf.
Satan’s Slave: Lazy as HELL.
Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD: Blatant silliness, a fool as a painted fool, gratuitous boobies
Troll 2: Tom Selleck’s chest hair was not this bad.
Zombie Ass-Toilet of the Dead: From the diuretic bowels of Hell…
There You Have It!
Acknowledgments
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