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Index
Contents
Preface to the Second Edition
Introduction
Part I: Understanding Self-Esteem
Chapter 1: Why Self-Esteem?
To Begin
The Self-Esteem Checkup
Chapter 2: Getting Ready—The Physical Preparations
Brain Plasticity
Regular Exercise
Sleep Hygiene
Eating Practices
Take Care of Your Body: A Written Plan
Dietary Guidelines
Sample Menu: A Week of Meals
An Initial Fourteen-Day Commitment
Preassessment
Assessing Your Reaction
Chapter 3: Self-Esteem and How It Develops
What Is Self-Esteem?
Concepts Related to Self-Esteem
Identity
Appreciate
Accept
Self-Confidence
Pride
Humility
Selfishness
Cost-Benefit Analysis
Examples of Advantages for Self-Dislike
Examples of Disadvantages of Self-Dislike
Your Personal Advantages and Disadvantages
Benefits of Emotional Change
How to Build Self-Esteem
Part II: The Skills of Self-Esteem: Factor I: The Reality of Unconditional Human Worth: Chapter 4: The Basics of Human Worth
Howard’s Laws of Human Worth
The Core Self
Worth As a Person Is Independent of Externals
Illustrative Examples
Separating Worth from Externals
Why Individuals Have Worth
Reflections on Unconditional and Equal Human Worth
Chapter 5: Recognize and Replace Self-Defeating Thoughts
Automatic Thoughts and Distortions
Assuming
Shoulds (Musts and Oughts)
The Fairy Tale Fantasy
All-or-Nothing Thinking
Overgeneralizing
Labeling
Dwelling on the Negative
Rejecting the Positive
Unfavorable Comparisons
Catastrophizing
Personalizing
Blaming
Making Feelings Facts
The Daily Thought Record
The Facts
Analysis of Your Thoughts
Results
Getting to the Bottom of Things: The Question and Answer Technique
Common Core Beliefs
Examining Unproductive Core Beliefs
Chapter 6: Acknowledge Reality—“Nevertheless!”
A Skill-Building Activity
A Nevertheless Exercise
Chapter 7: Regard Your Core Worth
A Skill-Building Activity
Part I: Personality Traits
Part II: Additional Personality Traits
Part III: Interpretation
Chapter 8: Create the Habit of Core-Affirming Thoughts
A Skill-Building Activity
Chapter 9: An Overview of Unconditional Human Worth
Three Important Ideas
Four Learned Skills
General Review
Factor II: Experiencing Unconditional Love: Chapter 10: The Basics of Unconditional Love
Basic Principles
What Is Love?
Two Stories of Love
Love Finds a Way
Learning About Love: A Story About Mother Teresa
Sources of Love
Parents
Self
Significant Others
Additional Premises Regarding Love
Reflections on Love
Chapter 11: Find, Love, and Heal the Core Self
Love Heals the Child Within Us
Corrective Experiences Repair Early Wounds
Chapter 12: The Language of Love
Kind Descriptions
Changing Channels
Chapter 13: The Appreciative Opinion of Others
Chapter 14: Acknowledge and Accept Positive Qualities
Chapter 15: Cultivate Body Appreciation
The Magnificence of the Body
From Conception to Maturity
The Amazing Circulatory System
The Sturdy Skeletal System
Sensing the World
The Remarkable Defenses
The Body’s Wisdom
Other Wonders of the Body
Body Appreciation: An Exercise
Chapter 16: Reinforce and Strengthen Body Appreciation
A Body Appreciation Meditation
Practice Increases Effect
Chapter 17: Assert Self-Love and Appreciation
Chapter 18: Eyes of Love Meditation
Chapter 19: Liking the Face in the Mirror
Chapter 20: See Yourself Through Loving Eyes
Step 1: Establish the Experience of Being an Artist
Step 2: Identify Someone You Know Who Loves You
Step 3: Describe to Yourself the Characteristics That Make That Person Special
Step 4: Draw a Picture of the Person Who Loves You
Step 5: Imagine Being This Special Person and Being Able to See Yourself Through His or Her Loving Eyes
Step 6: Describe and Draw What Is Loved and Seen Through Loving Eyes
Step 7: Return Awareness to Your Own Body, Bringing Back Loving Feelings
Chapter 21: Experience Love at the Heart Level
Preparations
The Quick Coherence Technique
Chapter 22: Self-Compassion and Mindful Awareness
How Self-Critical Are You?
What Is Self-Compassion?
Chapter 23: Meet Pain with Self-Compassion
Chapter 24: Experience Self-Compassion at the Body Level
Self-Compassion and Loving-Kindness
Chapter 25: Compassionate Journaling
Why Is Journaling Beneficial?
Who Benefits from Journaling?
Guidelines and Considerations
After the Four-Day Journaling Exercise
Chapter 26: An Overview of Unconditional Love
Supportive Ideas
Acquired Skills
Factor III: The Active Side of Love: Growing: Chapter 27: The Basics of Growing
Love in Action: The Next Steps
Perspectives on Growing
Questions Regarding Growth
Reflections on Elevating Humanity and the Self
Chapter 28: Accept That You Aren’t Perfect
Chapter 29: Just for the Fun of It (Contemplating Possibilities)
A Brief Inventory
Attractive and Appealing Qualities
Chapter 30: Take Stock of Your Character
A List of Moral Strengths
Assessing Eight Areas of Living
The Loving, Fearless, Searching, and Honest Moral Inventory
Chapter 31: Practice Forgiving
What Is Forgiveness?
What Forgiving Is Not
How Does Forgiving Lift Self-Esteem?
The How of Forgiving
Assess
Identify Unresolved Offenses from the Past
Tools for Forgiving
Forgiveness Journaling
Forgiveness Meditation
Considerations
When You Have Caused Suffering
Summary of Forgiving
Chapter 32: Experience Wholesome Pleasure
Schedule Pleasant Activities
Some Tips About Pleasure
Chapter 33: Prepare for Setbacks
Approaching Perfection
Handling Flops
Chapter 34: An Overview of Growing
Active Ideas
Acquired Skills
Epilogue: Summing Up
Acknowledgments
Appendices
Appendix I: Guidelines for Helping the Person in Distress
Managing Stress
Depression, Anxiety, Anger
Unresolved Grief or Trauma
Restoring Self-Esteem
The Strength of a Spiritual Foundation
Additional Comments
Appendix II: Forgiving the Self
Appendix III: Touching the Past with Love
Directions
The Insights of Imagery
Recommended Resources
Self-Esteem and Unconditional Love
Heart Coherence
Self-Compassion
Journal Writing
Forgiving
Trauma
Resilience
Happiness
Scholarly Classics
Bibliography
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