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Index
Cover
Title
Copyright
Contents
Acknowledgements
Introduction
My Journey
Finding the Juicy Stuff
Viewpoint
Organization of the Book
Who Will Benefit from Reading This Book
Section I: Religion in Perspective
Chapter 1: Religious Foreplay
Anna and Joe
Choices
Living a Lie
Toxic Trio
Religious Sexual Terrorism: Fear Is the Foreplay
A Thought Experiment: Unbuttoning Religion
Buttons in Your Life
Sex and Pushing Buttons
Chapter 2: You Can Take Religion out of Sex, But You Can’t Take Sex out of Religion
Putting the “Fun” Back in “Fundamental”
Our Limited Sexual Maps
Religious Maps
Don’t Defile Yourself (or you will go blind)
Sexual Restriction
Chapter 3: Screwing With Religious Myths
Common Myths
Myth: Christians are Monogamous
Myth: Jesus Makes Marriage Better
Chapter 4: Did Jesus Masturbate? and Other Interesting Thoughts
Jesus: Married, Non-Existent, Female or Closeted Gay?
What Happened to the Women and Children?
Inconvenient Women and Children
Rewriting History
Christian Asexuality
Mary Was a Virgin
Masturbation: The Single-Handed Sin
Why Are Jews Monogamous?
Why Are Christians Monogamous?
Chapter 5: The Shame of It All
Shame vs. Guilt
Shame and the Family
Islam, the Shame Religion
Male Shame
Shame and Modern Cults
Conclusion
Chapter 6: Mind Police and Thought Control
Religious Police
The Guilt Cycle, or the Police Officer in Your Head
Sex and Guilt
Women, the Guilty Sex
How Guilt Disrupts Sexual Communication
The Urge for Variety
Thought Police
Religious Dams
Chapter 7: Conspiracy of Silence: Programming the Collective Mind
Where Is the Outrage?
Institutional Accountability
Childhood Infection
Anesthetization of the Mind
Changing Times
Section II: Follow the Biology
Chapter 8: Holy Biology
The Bible
The Koran
Other Holy Books
Chapter 9: Unholy Biology: Busting the Monogamy Myth
Follow the Biology
Super Duck’s Inflatable Penis
Ms. Wonder Duck Fights Back
Size Matters: The Gorilla
May the Best Sperm Win: The Chimpanzee
The Feminine Mystique: The Bonobo
Humans: The Penis Puzzle
The Sex Partner Mystery
Chapter 10: Mapping Your Sexuality
Your Invisible Map
The Three-Tiered Map
Tier One – Sex in Your Genes
Tier Two: Epigenetics – Your Genes on Drugs
Your Inner Female
Tier Three – Sex in Your Jeans
Learning Social Cues for the Map
Your Brain on Metaphors
Religious Mapping – The Two-Party Brain
Adult Maps
The Effect of Submission
Maps in Conflict
Section III: Follow the Culture
Chapter 11: Sex Before God
Sex Before Buddha, Jesus or Mohammed
Preagricultural or Semiagricultural
The Hadza of Tanzania and the Rift Valley
Mangaians of Polynesia
The Na of China
Religious Dogma and Sex
Chapter 12: Sex and Early Religion
Elimination of Hunter-Gatherer Religion
Religion and Sex in Early Agricultural Civilizations
Sacred Prostitutes and Gay Soldiers: Greek Sex
Don’t Love Your Wife Too Much: Roman Sex
Yin and Yang But Only for Men: Chinese Culture
Where Are the Women?
The Scope of Human Sexuality
Chapter 13: Modern Religions and the Misogyny of God
Double Standards
Western Religious Distortions
The Jewish Distortion
The Christian Distortion
Celibacy
The Muslim Distortion
An Invasive Species
Section IV: The Psychology of Religion and Sex
Chapter 14: The Tools of Distortion
The Rise of Universal Religions
How Religion Uses Disease
Death Neurosis and Sex
Scandalous Breasts: How Religion Sexualizes the Normal
Religion and Physical Marking
Male Circumcision
Female Circumcision, Genital Mutilation
Distorting the Sexual Map
Chapter 15: Don’t Tamper With the Factory!
Sex Education, the Biggest Threat to Religion
Life – A Balancing Act
Distortion of the Catholic Priesthood
Black Protestant Church Distortion
The Fundamentalist Distortion
The Mormon Distortion
Chapter 16: What Happens When You Leave Religion
The Guilt Cycle and Various Denominations
Spanking the Monkey
Early Sexual Experience
Lust in Your Heart
Talk Dirty to Me
Sex After Religion
Residual Effects
Lessons From the Research
Chapter 17: Relationship Cycles
New Relationship Energy (NRE)
Attachment
The Unwritten Rules of Marriage
Satiation: “Not Tonight, Honey; I Have a Headache”
Relationship Cycle
Chapter 18: Mommy, Did You Have Sex Before You Married Daddy?
Children, Parents and Sex
Sex-Negative Messages to Girls
The Power of Oblique Communication
Guilt in Religious Marriage
The Poisoning of Men and Boys
Chapter 19: I Didn’t Raise Her That Way!
Three Sources of Personality Influence
The 50-0-50
Religion and 50-0-50
Chapter 20: Sex on a Leash
Sexual Flexibility
Sociosexual Orientation
Sociosexual Orientation and Religion
Socio-Sexual Orientation and Relationships
Chapter 21: “My Sex Drive Keeps Me From Jesus”
Unfaithful Pastors
Religious Infection and Depression
Dominance and Non-Dominance
Sexual Redirection and Thought Distortion
The Misbehaving Flock
Brainwashing Techniques for Evangelism
Two Steps to Delusion
Consequences for Future Generations
Section V: Program Yourself for a Change
A Framework
Chapter 22: The Jesus Trap
The Jesus Trap Pattern
Bob’s Story
Emotional Blackmail and the Jesus Trap
The Jesus Trap and Raising Children
The Psychology Behind the Jesus Trap
Strategies for Dealing With the Jesus Trap
Chapter 23: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
You are a Walking Conflict
Monogamy Is Not the Default Position
Imprisoned by the Religious Map
Marriage: One Size Does Not Fit All
Rethinking Marriage
Don’t Let the Pope (or Any Clergy) Define Your Relationships
Chapter 24: Jealousy: The Anti-Love Potion
Our Jealous Culture
Learning to Be Jealous
The Decline of Jealousy
Adolescent Jealousy
Jealousy Says More About the Jealous Person
Unpacking Jealousy
Sex Is a Precious Commodity
American Sex
Frubble or Compersion
Chapter 25: What’s The Big Idea?
The Tyranny of the “Shoulds”
The Mating of Souls
Your Cheatin’ Heart – Escaping the Conceptual Prison
It’s Not All About the Sex
Big Idea Number One: Challenge Hidden Assumptions
Big Idea Number Two: Be Honest With Yourself
Big Idea Number Three: You Are Normal
Chapter 26: The End of Religion as We Know It
The Evolving Church
Almost Everyone Is Doing It
Sex, Religion and the Planet
A New Commandment Suggestion I Give You
Selected Biblioghraphy
Index
About the Author
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