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Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures, by Douglas Jerrold MRS. CAUDLE’S CURTAIN LECTURES BY DOUGLAS JERROLD
AUTHOR’S PREFACE INTRODUCTION LECTURE I - MR. CAUDLE HAS LENT FIVE POUNDS TO A FRIEND LECTURE II - MR. CAUDLE HAS BEEN AT A TAVERN WITH A FRIEND, AND IS “ENOUGH TO POISON A WOMAN” WITH TOBACCO-SMOKE LECTURE III - MR. CAUDLE JOINS A CLUB - “THE SKYLARKS.” LECTURE IV - MR. CAUDLE HAS BEEN CALLED FROM HIS BED TO BAIL MR. PRETTYMAN FROM THE WATCH-HOUSE LECTURE V - MR. CAUDLE HAS REMAINED DOWNSTAIRS TILL PAST ONE, WITH A FRIEND LECTURE VI - MR. CAUDLE HAS LENT AN ACQUAINTANCE THE FAMILY UMBRELLA LECTURE VII - MR. CAUDLE HAS VENTURED A REMONSTRANCE ON HIS DAY’S DINNER: COLD MUTTON, AND NO PUDDING. - MRS. CAUDLE DEFENDS THE COLD SHOULDER LECTURE VIII - CAUDLE HAS BEEN MADE A MASON - MRS. CAUDLE INDIGNANT AND CURIOUS LECTURE IX - MR. CAUDLE HAS BEEN TO GREENWICH FAIR LECTURE X - ON MR. CAUDLE’S SHIRT-BUTTONS LECTURE XI - MRS. CAUDLE SUGGESTS THAT HER DEAR MOTHER SHOULD “COME AND LIVE WITH THEM.” LECTURE XII - MR. CAUDLE HAVING COME HOME A LITTLE LATE, DECLARES THAT HENCEFORTH “HE WILL HAVE A KEY.” LECTURE XIII - MRS. CAUDLE HAS BEEN TO SEE HER DEAR MOTHER. - CAUDLE, ON THE “JOYFUL OCCASION,” HAS GIVEN A PARTY, AND ISSUED A CARD OF INVITATION LECTURE XIV - MRS. CAUDLE THINKS IT “HIGH TIME” THAT THE CHILDREN SHOULD HAVE SUMMER CLOTHING LECTURE XV - MR. CAUDLE HAS AGAIN STAYED OUT LATE. MRS. CAUDLE, AT FIRST INJURED AND VIOLENT, MELTS LECTURE XVI - BABY IS TO BE CHRISTENED; MRS. CAUDLE CANVASSES THE MERITS OF PROBABLE GODFATHERS LECTURE XVII - CAUDLE IN THE COURSE OF THE DAY HAS VENTURED TO QUESTION THE ECONOMY OF “WASHING AT HOME.” LECTURE XVIII - CAUDLE, WHILST WALKING WITH HIS WIFE, HAS BEEN BOWED TO BY A YOUNGER AND EVEN PRETTIER WOMAN THAN MRS. CAUDLE LECTURE XIX - MRS. CAUDLE THINKS “IT WOULD LOOK WELL TO KEEP THEIR WEDDING-DAY.” LECTURE XX - “BROTHER” CAUDLE HAS BEEN TO A MASONIC CHARITABLE DINNER. MRS. CAUDLE HAS HIDDEN THE “BROTHER’S” CHEQUE-BOOK LECTURE XXI - MR. CAUDLE HAS NOT ACTED “LIKE A HUSBAND” AT THE WEDDING DINNER LECTURE XXII - CAUDLE COMES HOME IN THE EVENING, AS MRS. CAUDLE HAS “JUST STEPPED OUT, SHOPPING.” ON HER RETURN, AT TEN, CAUDLE REMONSTRATES LECTURE XXIII - MRS. CAUDLE “WISHES TO KNOW IF THEY’RE GOING TO THE SEA-SIDE, OR NOT, THIS SUMMER - THAT’S ALL” LECTURE XXIV - MRS. CAUDLE DWELLS ON CAUDLE’S “CRUEL NEGLECT” OF HER ON BOARD THE “RED ROVER.” MRS. CAUDLE SO “ILL WITH THE SEA,” THAT THEY PUT UP AT THE DOLPHIN, HERNE BAY. LECTURE XXV - MRS. CAUDLE, WEARIED OF MARGATE, HAS “A GREAT DESIRE TO SEE FRANCE.” LECTURE XXVI - MRS. CAUDLE’S FIRST NIGHT IN FRANCE - “SHAMEFUL INDIFFERENCE” OF CAUDLE AT THE BOULOGNE CUSTOM HOUSE LECTURE XXVII - MRS. CAUDLE RETURNS TO HER NATIVE LAND. “UNMANLY CRUELTY” OF CAUDLE, WHO HAS REFUSED “TO SMUGGLE A FEW THINGS” FOR HER LECTURE XXVIII - MRS. CAUDLE HAS RETURNED HOME. THE HOUSE (OF COURSE) “NOT FIT TO BE SEEN.” MR. CAUDLE, IN SELF-DEFENCE, TAKES A BOOK LECTURE XXIX - MRS. CAUDLE THINKS “THE TIME HAS COME TO HAVE A COTTAGE OUT OF TOWN” LECTURE XXX - MRS. CAUDLE COMPLAINS OF THE “TURTLE DOVERY.” DISCOVERS BLACK-BEETLES. THINKS IT “NOTHING BUT RIGHT” THAT CAUDLE SHOULD SET UP A CHAISE LECTURE XXXI - MRS. CAUDLE COMPLAINS VERY BITTERLY THAT MR. CAUDLE HAS “BROKEN HER CONFIDENCE.” LECTURE XXXII - MRS. CAUDLE DISCOURSES OF MAIDS-OF-ALL-WORK AND MAIDS IN GENERAL. MR. CAUDLE’S “INFAMOUS BEHAVIOUR” TEN YEARS AGO LECTURE XXXIII - MRS. CAUDLE HAS DISCOVERED THAT CAUDLE IS A RAILWAY DIRECTOR LECTURE XXXIV - MRS. CAUDLE, SUSPECTING THAT MR. CAUDLE HAS MADE HIS WILL, IS “ONLY ANXIOUS, AS A WIFE,” TO KNOW ITS PROVISIONS LECTURE XXXV - MRS. CAUDLE “HAS BEEN TOLD” THAT CAUDLE HAS “TAKEN TO PLAY” AT BILLIARDS LECTURE THE LAST - MRS. CAUDLE HAS TAKEN COLD; THE TRAGEDY OF THIN SHOES POSTSCRIPT
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