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Index
Cover Title Page Dedication Disclaimer Table of Contents Introduction A sign the world has gone mad? Management madness Treating your own family Dealing with threatening patients No notes Off duty? An upsetting day Right and left problems What a waste of talent MMC – mangling medical careers Still off duty? I want muffins Bloody trains GP receptionists Why I love going to work This is how it feels like the NHS has been run the last few years And this is how I would like the NHS to be managed Ooops Where have all the dentists gone? Should he have called an ambulance? A different type of health visitor How targets can hurt patients and staff At work on New Year’s Eve Why bother coming? I am so glad I am tired People we refer to Why patients are more important than budgets An occupational hazard I don’t understand some patients A trip round A&E A&E Room 101 How to be a good patient The effects of bloody accounting rules Please come to A&E We have gone drug crazy Coming home for Christmas The joys of shift work Careful with your notes and coffee room chats An embarrassed husband The human effect of reconfiguration and lack of beds Unexpected laughter Repeat attenders This job is hard Another sad case The importance of banter at work The wonders of the Internet Just a little small moan The joys of A&E Smoking yourself to death Patient choice or patient confusion? Putting yourself at risk The anger of chess Training to be a consultant The last straw Missed fractures Things have improved… but they need to be better still Harming yourself Factitious behaviour People who work in the A&E department Too posh to wash? How to lose a friend Hero to heroin Taking the piss Off on holiday Hospital inefficiencies Crying wolf Blind to the problems When patients make jokes Ooops again More inefficiencies of hospital care Sad request for a MAP Teaching Even more hospital inefficiencies A weird rash Feeling guilty Being called at home Complaint letters Why I am glad I am an A&E doctor Not enough beds Satisfied doctor and patient Mad bureaucracy NHS Direct… to A&E Why I hate laziness MRSA: the good, bad and ugly Errr, I think he has vffxyeez syndrome What’s wrong with me? When not to get ill Out-of-hours GPs Sick outside 9–5, Monday to Friday? A sick man Why I love A&E Patients’ wrong priorities How to be seen quickly The dangers of cannabis For fit’s sake The state of some nursing homes The best year for the NHS? Hoping that the ground will swallow you up Two similar patients, but two different outcomes An amusing patient Closing your A&E, are they? Nasty walls Tired again Changing emotions Career stresses Bloody Jobsworth Lack of staff Am I becoming sick? Why do we all lie? A typical day JFWDI Male menstrual syndrome Delivering oranges The problems of alcohol Upset at work My last thoughts Apologies, acknowledgments, thank yous and hopes Epilogue The problem with French Not good enough for some people Dealing with death A guide to A&E sisters and charge nurses Abnormal observations Good form of pre-op anxiolytic Broken leg Nice bum The power of the mind, or not Why wanking turns you blind Teaching at every opportunity Why being a doctor outside work isn’t always good Cheeky patient What patients have taught me Oh shit I am pregnant So pleased he broke his ankle The future of the NHS So to round up… Glossary Copyright About the Publisher
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