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Index
1 How to Talk to a Liberal 2 This Is War
How 9/11 Happened This Is War The Hun Is at the Gate Attack France! May I Turn Down Your Bed, Mohammad? Build Them Back This Whistle-Blower They Like My Name Is Adolf Beauty Pageants Can Be Murder War-Torn Democrats “Will of Allah” Preempts Iraq Invasion Kissing Cousins: New York Literati and Nazis The Enemy Within At Least Saddam Wasn’t at Tailhook! Liberals Meet Unexpected Resistance We Don’t Care Taking Liberties How to Lose a War “The Plan” It’s Like Christmas in December! Al Qaeda Barks, the Spanish Fly Tit for Tet This Is History Calling - Quick, Get Me Rewrite
3 A Muslim by Any Other Name Blows Up Just the Same
John Davis: American Hero Where’s Janet Reno When We Need Her? HillaryCare for the Airports The New Roman Arena: Airports Would Mohammed Atta Object to Armed Pilots? Thank You for Choosing United, Mr. Bin Laden Arab Hijackers Now Eligible for Preboarding Even with Hindsight Liberals Can’t See Straight
4 At Least They Didn’t Run Jimmy Carter This Time
American Women to Kerry: We Don’t Think You’re So Hot Either General Democrat The Party of Ideas The Jesus Thing What Happened to Your Queer Party-Friends? Just a Gigolo Boobs in the News In Desperate Move, Kerry Adopts Puppy
5 Barbara Streisand Feels Your Pain (According to Her Publicist)
I Like Black People Too, Julia! Dumb Hires Dumber Checks and Balances, but Mostly Checks The Robert C. Byrd Bridge to Poverty Chair-Warmer on the Hot Seat
6 When Bad Ideas (Liberalism) Happen to Good People (You)
The New York Times’s Crusade Against Capitalism It’s Just About Money This Just In: Price Controls Cause Shortages The Democrats’ Laboratory: The Host Organism Dies Nine Out of Ten Caribou Support Drilling All the News We Heard from a Guy at Handgun Control, Inc.
7 More Liberal Ideas! Sex, Segregation, Gay Marriage, and Banning the G-Word (God!)
Chicks with D**** Democrats: A Lott of Trouble Ashcroft and the Blowhard Discuss Desegregation Bizarre Political Sect Ousted from Judicial Nomination Process Liberals Shocked - Rush Not Jesus Christ It’s the Winter Solstice, Charlie Brown! Massachusetts Supreme Court Abolishes Capitalism! The Passion of the Liberal W.WJ.K.?: Who Would Jesus Kill? Let’s Rewrite One for the Gipper!
8 The Battle Flag 9 Give Us Twenty-two Minutes, We’ll Give Up the Country
Great Gray Lady in Spat with Saloon Hussy How a White Male from Alabama Learned the Craft of Journalism from a Young Reporter Named Jayson Blair The Weather’s Great, Wish I Were Here Here’s a Traitor! CBS Could Show Augusta How to Really Discriminate Give Us Twenty-two Minutes, We’ll Give Up the Country Journalism: Where Even the Men Are Women I Guess You’re Right: There Is No Liberal Media Bias
10 Say, Does Anyone Know If Max Cleland Lost His Limbs in Combat?
Cleland Drops a Political Grenade My Readers Respond! File Under: “Omission Accomplished” My Readers Respond! (Part II)
11 The Only Cop the New York Times Likes Is the One in the Village People
They Weren’t Overzealous This Time Murdering the Bell Curve The New York Times Goes Wilding on the Central Park Jogger DNA Evidence Exonerates Hitler! Media Support Citizenship Awards for Central Park Rapists
12 What the Clintons’ Ghostwriters Should Have Written
At Least with Monica He Only Bit His Own Lip Hillary: Pro-Dung We’re Number Two! These Charges Are False-Reel No. 857 Liberals Shocked: Impeached Felon Took Ottoman Tell Him There’s a Stopover in Bangkok True Grit Moby’s Dick
13 Elian Gonzalez: The Only Immigrant Liberals Ever Wanted to Deport 14 The Democrats’ New Symbol: Two Sets of Standards
Elections in Clintonville New Equal Protection Clause: One Man, Several Votes The Liar Next Time This Is What the Electoral College Is Supposed to Prevent The Law, Not the Court, Has the Last Word Certify the Electors, Then the Judges Things Only a Democrat Will Say with a Straight Face National Lampoon's Florida Supreme Court Vacation My Court Is Bigger Than Your Court
15 Hello, Room Service? Send Up a Bottle, a Blonde, and a Gun
Ruger Is a Girl’s Best Friend I’d Burn My Neighbor’s House Down Drug Shills Capitol Punishment A Republican Tribute to John
16 What You Could Have Read If You Lived in a Free Country
Call Me Ms. This Congressman Bought for You by the New York Times Sally Does Monticello If You Sup with the Devil, Use a Long Spoon
Acknowledgments
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