Joy of Conflict Resolution by Harper, Gary -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

COVER PAGE TITLE PAGE COPYRIGHT PAGE DEDICATION CONTENTS ACKNOWLEDGMENTS INTRODUCTION CHAPTER 1: VICTIMS, VILLAINS, AND HEROES

FAIRY TALES OF CONFLICT ROLES WE PLAY BEYOND THE DRAMA TRIANGLE

CHAPTER 2: LESSONS FROM THE SANDBOX

GROW UP, ALREADY MY PHD ADVISOR CAN BEAT UP YOUR PHD ADVISOR THEMES FROM THE PLAYGROUND IT’S HARD TO SEE THE PICTURE WHEN YOU’RE IN THE FRAME CONFLICT AS ITS OWN REWARD THE ROOTS OF DEFENSIVENESS

CHAPTER 3: JUST LIKE THE MOVIES

ELEMENTS OF CONFLICT STORIES WHAT DRIVES US? OUR CONFLICT DRAMAS WHEN DID THE KNIFE GO IN? THE JOURNEY FROM CONFRONTATION TO COLLABORATION

CHAPTER 4: WELCOME TO TURM-OIL INC

CO-WORKERS IN CONFLICT BLACK FRIDAY

CHAPTER 5: THE ASSUMPTION ICEBERG

BOOK ’EM, DINAH MOTIVE AND IMPACT BOOK ’EM, DINAH (REVISITED)

CHAPTER 6: THE WOBBLY STOOL OF CONFLICT

THE THREE LEGS OF CONFLICT BIG BOB GOES BANANAS DIAGNOSING RESISTANCE IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM RESPECTING PROCESS NEEDS STABILIZING THE EMOTION BIG BOB GOES BANANAS (REVISITED)

CHAPTER 7: THE PERILS OF ANGER MOUNTAIN

RESPONSES TO ANGER SIGNIFICANCE OF THE ANGER AROUSAL CYCLE STRATEGIES TO DEFUSE OTHERS’ ANGER THE TIME AND PLACE FOR APOLOGIES

CHAPTER 8: BEWARE THE CONFLICT GREMLINS

STRATEGIES TO MANAGE OUR OWN ANGER GET TO KNOW YOUR GREMLINS WHAT TO DO ABOUT OUR GREMLINS LISTEN TO YOUR INNER COACH

CHAPTER 9: THE POWER OF LISTENING

THE NORTH WIND AND THE SUN WHY LISTEN? SILENCE IS GOLDEN PROVING YOU UNDERSTAND HOW TO GET THE FULL STORY A METAPHOR IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING GENUINE

CHAPTER 10: SPINNING THE STRAW OF DEFENSIVENESS

THE CHAIN REACTION OF DEFENSIVENESS DEFINING DEFENSIVENESS SPINNING THE GOLD OF UNDERSTANDING FORMS OF DEFENSIVENESS: MORE LESSONS FROM THE SANDBOX WARMING THE CLIMATE DOUG SEPARATES THE PERSON FROM THE PROBLEM WHEN YOU HIT BEDROCK

CHAPTER 11: ESCAPING THE TRAP OF POSITIONS

NO ROOM AT THE INN FOR VIC TRAPPED BY POSITIONS NAMING THE TOPIC THE KEY TO COLLABORATION — INTERESTS AND NEEDS SHIFTING FROM POSITIONS TO INTERESTS

CHAPTER 12: PROBING THE DEPTHS OF CONFLICT

SHIFTING JUDGMENT TO CURIOSITY ALL QUESTIONS ARE NOT CREATED EQUAL PEELING THE ONION FOR THE REAL STORY I’LL SHOW YOU MINE IF … ASK ONLY IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW

CHAPTER 13: STANDING UP FOR OURSELVES (WITHOUT KNOCKING . THE OTHER PERSON DOWN)

AN ALTERNATIVE TO FIGHT OR FLIGHT PASSIVE BEHAVIOR AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR “I” STATEMENTS THE DIFFICULT PERSON STORY “I’M OKAY. THEY NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP” DESCRIBING THE DIFFICULT BEHAVIOR FIRST WITHIN, THEN WITHOUT THE D-E-S STATEMENT WHEN THE OTHER PERSON DOESN’T RESPOND A FEW TIPS

CHAPTER 14: THE ROAD TO RESOLUTION

PREPARING TO MEET DOUG’S PREPARATION TO MEET WITH MARKO STEPS TO COLLABORATION THE CONFLICT RESOLUTION TWO-STEP

CHAPTER 15: TIPS FOR THE TRAVELER

BEING A WARRIOR OF THE HEART THE INNER WORK ACTIVE CURIOSITY FOCUSING ON SPECIFIC SKILLS CHANGING THE DANCE DON’T GO IT ALONE OTHER TIPS

RESOURCES BIBLIOGRAPHY ABOUT THE AUTHOR