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Imperial Library
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Index
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Contents
Acknowledgments
Chapter One: The Resistance: Trump Is Hitler Times Infinity
Remember That Time Trump Invaded Poland?
The Virtue-Signaling Industrial Complex
“The Resistance,” AKA “The Hissy Fit”
Comedy—or, as Jimmy Kimmel Has Redefined It, “Declarative Statement”
It Must Have Been Agonizing to Pretend to Care About People in Indiana
We’ll Tell You What’s “Normal”
No Puppet. You’re the Puppet.
Chapter Two: The Resistance Has Told Thousands of Lies About Trump. Here’s One.
“They Let You Do It.” Not if You’re Trump.
Chapter Three: Bald-Faced Lie No. 2: Take a H*cking Joke
In Russia Scandal, Hacks E-mail You!
Chapter Four: Trump Is a Racist—We’ve Scientifically Proved It!
No Nazi. You’re the Nazi
Chapter Five: Now They Want to Fight the Cold War?
Would You Buy a Used Conspiracy Theory from This Woman?
They’re Under the Bed After All!
Hunt for Red November
Payback’s a Bitch
Chapter Six: Hillary Hatches an Egg
Mook’s Spooks
Look, Russia!
Chapter Seven: Hillary Finally Runs an Effective Campaign . . . With Our Intelligence Agencies
Another Bad Joke the Press Took Seriously
Agencies Everywhere but Not a Drop of Intelligence: The January 6, 2017 Report
Chapter Eight: Intelligence Agencies: You Tell Her We Can’t Game the Electoral College
Foggy with No Chance of Evidence
First They Ignore You, Then They Laugh at You, Then They Desperately Spread Your Conspiracy Theory Because You Lost
Chapter Nine: Different Strzoks for Different Folks
We’re with Her
G-Men for Hillary
Chapter Ten: James Comey: Please Fire Me! Oh My Gosh, I’m Being Fired!
Chapter Eleven: A Tale of Two Dicks
At Least They’re Finally Admitting Clinton Was a Crook
It’s Just Like the Saturday Night Massacre!
Chapter Twelve: Mueller’s the Russian!
Want Us to Keep Calling You “Honorable”?
Impeach or Die Trying
Chapter Thirteen: Bonfire of the Nonentities
Michael Flynn, Secret Agent
Paul Manafort and Rick Gates: Some Stories Don’t Get Better with Retelling
No Page Turner
Chapter Fourteen: Jeff Sessions Is a Felon! Oh, Okay, Never Mind.
Franken’s Karma
Chapter Fifteen: Don Jr. And Hillary: Both Wear Pants. One of Them Colluded with Russia.
Don Jr. Thinks. Hillary Acts.
Chapter Sixteen: October 24, 2017: It Was the Best of Dossiers, It Was the Worst of Dossiers
Please Disregard Everything We’ve Said for the Past Ten Months About the Dossier
Chapter Seventeen: George Papadopoulos, Headline Writer’s Nightmare
Chapter Eighteen: Mueller Exposes the Blogging Gap
Mad Russians Want More Page Views!
They’re . . . They’re . . . Blogging!
“Happy Birthday” Is Code for “Our Precious Bodily Fluids”
Chapter Nineteen: Michael Cohen: Liberals Discover the Bright Side of Bullying!
Did You Hear the One About John Edwards?
The Trump Exception to the Fourth Amendment
Coalition of the Bullying
Chapter Twenty: Liberals Now Love the Police State!
Trump Only Wishes He Were Spied on Like Martin Luther King
J. Edgar Hoover Is Jealous
That’s Not a Civil Liberties Crisis. This Is a Civil Liberties Crisis.
Chapter Twenty-one: Foreign Policy: We’ll Have More Flexibility After Trump Is Re-Elected
Diana Denman, the Rosa Parks of the Russia Conspiracy
Oceania Has Always Been at War with Eastasia
Conclusion: For Democracy to Live, We Must Kill the Media
Don’t Interrupt Us—We’re Projecting!
Drilling Down into Vacuity
The One Thing We Might Get Out of Trump
Notes
Index
About the Author
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