Drivel · Deliciously Bad Writing by Your Favorite Authors by Scott, Julia -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

TITLE PAGE COPYRIGHT TERRIBLE CONTENTS PREFACE INTRODUCTION 1 • TOTALLY PROFESSIONAL

MARY ROACH • GUPPY LOVE JAMES NESTOR • DEAR BUTTHOLE NEAL POLLACK • TAKE A CHANCE ON ME DANIEL CLOWES • PROFESSOR EATANOFF DAVID MUNRO • CLICK HERE! MARIE C. BACA • D.A.R.E. TO SAY “NO” TO MARIJUANA CHARLES YU • TRENDING NOW SIMON RICH • SIMON’S NEWS PAGE JOSH MCHUGH • LETTER TO the NOSE

2 • BAD ROMANCE

ETHEL ROHAN • OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF VIRGINS ELLEN SUSSMAN • THE AFFAIR HEATHER DONAHUE • COPING GLEN DAVID GOLD • NOUS SUSAN STRAIGHT • HIGH SCHOOL BOYS LAURA FRASER • RASPY ROMANCE MELANIE GIDEON • LETTER TO MUSTACHE JANE GANAHL • LOVE POEM FOR A TRUE HIPPIE

3 • ILL-ADVISED CONFESSIONS

TODD OPPENHEIMER • LETTER TO THE DRAFT BOARD PO BRONSON • EAT WHAT YOU KILL PETER ORNER • I DREAM OF WARM PLACES ELIZABETH BERNSTEIN • BIRTH OF A FLOWER ZAHRA NOORBAKHSH • PAUL REISER’S GHOST KATIE CROUCH • HELLO KITTY DIARY JULIA SCHEERES • SPANISH DIARY JEFF GREENWALD • FAMILY FARMACY POEMS JULIA SCOTT • TEN MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT

4 • ODDITIES

NATHANIEL RICH • 2 DEAD MOO: AS SICK AND PERVERTED AS THEY WANNA BE CHUCK PALAHNIUK • DEAR MR. POL POT AMY TAN • JUGGLING JAKE A. J. JACOBS • TWO FEGHOOTS CHRIS COLIN • MY WIFE MOVED TO CHILE CAROLINE PAUL • DEAR MR. NIXON TUPELO HASSMAN • THE ARMOIRE KIERA BUTLER • THE ROUNDABOUT STORY OF CAPTAIN TORITO ANDREW SEAN GREER • COWBOY UP

5 • DARK MATTER

DAVE EGGERS • WOMAN AND CLOWN RICK MOODY • THREE REFLECTIONS ISAAC FITZGERALD • EIGHTH GRADE JOURNAL STEPHEN ELLIOTT • IT’S DUMB WENDY MACNAUGHTON • ART SCHOOL EMO DAMIAN ROGERS • PERSEPHONE ROBERT ANASI • AMONG THE BARBARIANS JOE LOYA • DO IN REMEMBRANCE

6 • TERRIBLE ANGST

GILLIAN FLYNN • TROUBLE AT OSAGE LAKE HIGH STEVE ALMOND • TO THE MEN AT WORK OUTSIDE MY WINDOW JOSHUA MOHR • COLD SHOWERS AND IMAGINARY FRIENDS MATTHEW ZAPRUDER • TISSUES ANITA AMIRREZVANI • FUGITIVE FANCY DAVID EWING DUNCAN • MY THESIS AND ME MAC MCCLELLAND • EVERYTHING JACK BOULWARE • HIPPIES

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS PHOTO CREDITS ABOUT THE EDITOR ABOUT LITQUAKE AND THE SAN FRANCISCO WRITERS’ GROTTO