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Index
Cover Title Page Dedication Contents Acknowledgments Introduction Chapter 1
Every Child Has His or Her... The Five Messages of Positive... A Vision of Possibilities
Chapter 2
The Pressure of Parenting Reinventing Parenting A Short History of Parenting Violence in, Violence out Why Children Become Unruly... A Global Shift in Consciousness
Chapter 3
Ask, but Don't Order or Demand Use "Would You" And Not... Give up Rhetorical Questions Be Direct Give up Explanations Give up Giving Lectures Don't Use Feelings to Manipulate The Magic Word to Create... A Short Review and Practice What to Do When Children Resist
Chapter 4
Four Skills to Minimize Resistance The Four Temperaments
Sensitive Children Need Listening... Active Children Need Preparation... Responsive Children Need Distraction...
The Gift of Singing Making Chores Fun The Gift of Reading Using Distraction to Redirect
Receptive Children Need Ritual...
Loving Rituals Practical Rituals Giving Our Children What They...
Chapter 5
Why Children Resist Taking Time to Listen The Two Conditions Hard-Love Parenting Soft-Love Parenting Learning to Delay Gratification Meeting Your Children's Needs
Chapter 6
A Short Update on Punishment Why and When Punishment Worked The Positive Side of Punishment The Simple Proof The Alternative to Punishment Is... The Two Reasons a Child Misbehaves Why Giving Rewards Works Negative Acknowledgments Catching Your Child Being Good or... The Magic of Rewards Why Children Resist Our Direction Understanding Rewards Rewards According to Temperaments Sample Rewards Always Have Something up Your... A List of Rewards Recurring Patterns Rewarding Teenagers Dealing with a Demanding Child in... Rewards Are Like Dessert Learning from Natural Consequences The Fear of Rewards
Chapter 7
Learning How to Command Don't Use Emotions to Command It's Okay to Make Mistakes When Emotions Are not Helpful Yelling Doesn't Work Make Your Commands Positive Command but Don't Explain Commanding Teenagers Reasons and Resistance A Better Way of Commanding Increasing Cooperation Choosing Your Battles
Chapter 8
The Need for Time Out How Negative Feelings Get Released The Ideal Time Out Explaining Time Outs Four Common Mistakes
Too Much Time Out Not Enough Time Out
Adjusting Your Will Versus Caving...
Expecting Your Child to Sit Quietly Using Time Out as Punishment
Hugging Dad When to Give Time Out Three Strikes and You Are Out When Time Out Doesn't Work What Makes the Five Skills Work
Chapter 9
Gender Differences Different Needs for Trust and Caring Continuing to Trust and Care Boys Are from Mars, Girls Are from... Mr. Fix-It Mrs. Home Improvement When Advice Is Good Boys Forget and Girls Remember Different Generations The Culture of Violence Different Temperaments How Temperaments Transform Afternoon Activities Different Body Types Different Intelligence
Academic Intelligence Emotional Intelligence Physical Intelligence Creative Intelligence Artistic Intelligence Common Sense Intelligence Intuitive Intelligence Gifted Intelligence
Different Speeds of Learning Good Here but Not Good There Comparing Children
Chapter 10
From Innocence to Responsibility Whose Fault Is it Anyway? Learning Responsibility Hardwired to Self-Correct Your Child's Learning Curve Understanding Repetition Learning from Mistakes Learning to Make Amends Don't Punish, Make Adjustments How to React When Children Make... Doing Your Best Is Good Enough When it Is Not Okay to Make Mistakes Hiding Mistakes and Not Telling... Children of Divorced Parents Not Setting High Standards or... Justifying Mistakes or Blaming Others Teens at Risk Low Self-Esteem and Self-Punishment Making it Okay to Make Mistakes
Chapter 11
The Importance of Managing Feelings Learning to Manage Feelings Coping with Loss Why Expressing Emotion Helps The Power of Empathy The Five Second Pause When Children Resist Empathy When Parents Express Negative... The Mistake of Sharing Feelings Asking Children How They Feel What You Suppress, Your Children... The Black Sheep of the Family Making Negative Emotions Okay
Chapter 12
The Fears About Desire The Virtues of Gratitude Permission to Negotiate Learning to Say No Ten Ways to Say No Asking for More Modeling How to Ask The Power of Asking Giving Too Much Children Will Always Want More Children of Divorced Parents The Longing of the Human Spirit
Chapter 13
How Parents Affect Their Children Coping with Negative Emotions The Development of Cognitive... Children's Need for Reassurance Children Have a Different Memory Coping with Increased Will Balancing Freedom and Control Two Problems of Losing Control The Nine-Year Stages of Maturity The Development of Responsibility Understanding the Generation Line Divorce and the Generation Line Controlling Your Preteens and Teens Using the Internet to Improve... Getting Support from Other Parents
Chapter 14
Mothers and Daughters Fathers and Daughters Mothers and Sons Fathers and Sons Teens Secretly Appreciate Limits What to Do When Your Child Takes... Dealing with Disrespectful Language Permission to Speak Freely Making Decisions The Cycles of Seven Why Teens Rebel Improving Communication with Teens Respect Your Teen's Opinions Sending Your Teen Away Instead of "Don't" Use "I Want" Asking Your Children What They... The Challenge of Parenting The Gifts of Greatness
About the Author Copyright About the Publisher
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