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Index
Prologue – The Hungry Boy and the Shoe
Chapter 1 - The Floorboards and the Magically Lifting Toilet Seat
Chapter 2 – The Posh Conquests and the Ship Already Sailed
Chapter 3 – The Ducklings and the Whale with a new Name
Chapter 4 – The Statistical Inevitability and the Personal Space Invasion
Chapter 5 – The Years she Doesn’t Have and the Help
Chapter 6 – The Invitation and the TV on Fire
Chapter 7 – The Principles of Life and the Impressive Side-Boob
Chapter 8 – The Penis not Forgotten and the Smell of Green
Chapter 9 – The Bouncing and the Closed Doors
Chapter 10 – The Shadow and the Morbid wet T-Shirt Competition
Chapter 11 – The Dinner and the Robbery that Didn’t Happen
Chapter 12 – The Nice Contours and the Grey Dawn
Chapter 13 – The Weeping Eyeliner and the Silent Scream
Chapter 14 – The Best Letter Ever Written and the Final Goodbye
Chapter 15 – The Sinclair Charity Case and the World Record Attempt
Chapter 16 – The Weird and the end of the World
Chapter 17 – The Truth and Nothing but the Truth
Chapter 18 – The Bandaid and the Mixed Message
Chapter 19 – The Complicated Woman and the Unhelpful Afterlife
Epilogue – The Birthday Present and the Happy Forever After
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