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Index
Introduction
Chapter One: I am not a whackjob.
Chapter Two: Froggy Went A’Courtin’
Part One: Creatures Caribe
Chapter Three: Creepy Crawlies and Things That Go Bump in the Night
Chapter Four: Guard Dog in Training
Chapter Five: Ghosties, ghoulies, and long-leggedy beasties
Chapter Six: Finding Annalise
Chapter Seven: Giving Me Hives
Chapter Eight: Hi Ho Silver, Away!
Chapter Nine: Rats, and I don’t mean darn.
Chapter Ten: Bad Man Dem
Chapter Eleven: Ménage à Tortoise
Chapter Twelve: Chester
Chapter Thirteen: Every dog has its day.
Chapter Fourteen: The Gimpy Chicken
Chapter Fifteen: A Lot Like Cannibals
Part Two: Northern Migration
Chapter Sixteen: It’s De Islans, Mon It’s De Islans, Mon
Chapter Seventeen: The Bird Man
Chapter Eighteen: The Ninjanator
Chapter Nineteen: Homicide: 22 Unnamed Victims
Chapter Twenty: Family Killing Spree Continues
Chapter Twenty-one: Jealousy
Chapter Twenty-two: The Ninjcompoop
Chapter Twenty-three: At least the dog feels great.
Chapter Twenty-four: The Prodigal Cat
Chapter Twenty-five: Urban Jungle
Chapter Twenty-six: Good Karma or Bad Karma?
Chapter Twenty-seven: Home Office Mates
Chapter Twenty-eight: RIP, my fine-feathered friend.
Chapter Twenty-nine: Crackhead Possum Moves In
Chapter Thirty: Pillow Fight
Chapter Thirty-one: Our Dog Whisperer
Chapter Thirty-two: Raptors 1, Industry 0
Chapter Thirty-three: New Favorite Pet
Chapter Thirty-four: Not A Beaver
Chapter Thirty-five: Redneck Adventures
Chapter Thirty-six: How do I love thee?
Chapter Thirty-seven: Felinity
Part Three: Zombieland
Chapter Thirty-eight: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?
Chapter Thirty-nine: Bitten by the five-second rule.
Chapter Forty: The Pain of Puppy Love
Chapter Forty-one: A Waking Dream
Chapter Forty-two: Pupdate
Chapter Forty-three: Gatorama
Chapter Forty-four: For Sale, $5.00—One-Eyed Dog Who Pees on Bed
Chapter Forty-five: Ewe’s not fat, ewe’s just fluffy.
Chapter Forty-six: Gecko Love
Chapter Forty-seven: Tiny Catholic
Chapter Forty-eight: At least we’ll always be able to find it.
Chapter Forty-nine: Angels
Chapter Fifty: Tiny Muslim
Chapter Fifty-one: Cold Nose, Warm Feet
Chapter Fifty-two: Running Out Of Time
About the Author
Connect Online
Other Books By Pamela Fagan Hutchins
Acknowledgements
Excerpt from How To Screw Up Your Kids: Blended Families, Blendered Style
Chapter One: Despite Our Best Efforts
Chapter Two: How did the Bradys do it?
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