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Imperial Library
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Index
Dedication
Contents
First
I Don’t Want to Be Dying in Order to Tell You These Things
Jobs
Fuck. This. List.
Job Description for the Dumbest Job Ever
The Super Bowl of Interruptions
I Am the One Woman Who Has It All
Undone
Dear Stay-at-Home Moms and Working Moms, You’re Both Right
Time-Out
Just What I Wanted, a Whole Twenty-Four Hours of Recognition Once a Year
“If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy”: Revised and Expanded
Vows
Tiny Losses
If You Love Your Grandparents, Go Visit Them
Let’s Have the Wedding Later
It’s Complicated
Time-Out
Your Cute Wedding Hashtags Twenty Years Later
Kids, It’s Time You Knew the Truth—Your Mother Is a Real Piece of Work
Showdowns
Overshare
Thank You for Including Me on This Meal Train but Unfortunately I’m a Horrible Person
Your Participation Trophies Are Bullshit
September 17, 2010: The Day I Turned the Car Around
The Ghosts of Halloweens Past
Time-Out
Radiohead Song or Accurate Description of My Parenting?
Are You Sure There Isn’t Something Else I Can Do Before the End of the School Year?
Schools
The Walls That Define Us
Pro/Con: Caving to PTO Bake Sale Pressure
The Punching Season
Please Don’t Get Murdered at School Today
I Don’t Care If You Go to College
Time-Out
What Do You Think of My Son’s Senior Picture That Was Shot by Annie Leibovitz?
Anne-Marie Slaughter Is My Safe Word
Bodies
Who Does That?
If You Can Touch It
As Young as We’ll Ever Be
Hot-Ass Chicks
Ashes to Ashes
Time-Out
Fifty-One Things You Should Never Say to a Mother Ever
Is There a Parenting Expert on This Plane?
Freedoms
Do You Have Faith in Me?
Thirteen with Dudes
Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should
Last
You Are All the Joy
When I Die
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
About the Publisher
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