Official Slacker Handbook by Dunn, Sarah -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Cover Epigraph Copyright Dedication Acknowledgments Contents Introduction

Hopping Into The Slack

Slack Like Me

Slacking Throughout History The Slack Sensibility The Slack Pantheon Slackers Don’T Jog A Day In The Life Of A Slacker Mastering Sleep Are You A Slacker?

Slacking Through Academia

College: Pace Yourself Choosing A Major Knowing When To Leave

I Hate My Job: Slacking At Work

The Look And How To Get It

Principles Of Slack Fashion A Brief History Of The Goatee Secrets Of Outpatient Hair: How To Look Functionally Insane If It’S Not Free, You Can’T Afford It: The Look For Men Inside The Slack Pocket Conforming To Non Conformity: The Look For Women Why We’Ve Stopped Wearing Underpants The Gap: Out Of Your Price Range Transcending Hygiene: Grunge Was A Trend, Grease Is Lifestyle

Home Sweet Hovel

Interior Design, The Slacker Way Code Violations Inside The Bottom Dresser Drawer Laundry: Mirror Of The Self How To Forestall The Inevitable: Utility Termination And You Ode To The Futon When Your House Is, Uh, Your Home: Living With Your Parents The Cool Parent Equation The Abcs Of Squatting Dumpster Diving Free Food In The Mail Do Ferrets Stink? House Pets As Surrogate Children How To Make Hallucinogenic Drugs From Simple Household Chemicals

Slacker Soriety

Top 10 Cities To Slack In The Unwritten Rules: Mastering Cafe Etiquette 13 Weighty Questions To Ponder While Sitting In A Cafe The Cafe-Goer’s Who’s Who Cafe Brain Teaser: The Serial Killers Why We Smoke Cigarettes Alcoholism On A Shoestring Budget Hemp Vs. Coke: A Drug Primer The Chess-Playing Slacker Ah, Darts: Lowering Your Leisure-Time Brow My Hobbies Wanderlust Slacker Pilgrimages The Driveaway Airhitch

Slacker Sex

Intellectual Pretension

Pretending To Read 12 Books To Tell Other People You’Ve Read The Slack Syllabus The Books We Love To Hate Useless Causes 101 Arguing Philosophy To Win 18 Key Words To Employ During A Heated Cafe Debate Film Threat Magazine’S Top Ten Slacker Films, Give Or Take

Unshackling The Human Spirit: The Slacker as Unrecognized Genius

You And Your Dormant Potential Creating A Buzz: Telling Others About Your Talent Alienation And The Muse The Poetry Slam The Five-Minute Poet The Art Of Fiction: Showing Off Your Suburban Childhood Scars The Slacker’S Copyright Creativity: The Dark Side The "Start Your Own Rock Band" Kit The Film School Dilemma Alternacomix Qualities Of A Good Screenplay Writing Partner Should You Sell Out? Are You A Temperamental Auteur Or Just Another Moody Slacker? Quiz #4

Inside The Twisted Slacker Psyche

Martins Vs. Masons: Choosing A Conspiracy Theory Alien Lexicon Novus Ordo Seclorum: Masons In The White House Conspiracy A-Go-Go Is That A Safety Pin In Your Nipple Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?: Slacking Through Ritualized Pain The Paranoia Checklist The Inner Pain Chart: What Your Tattoos Say About You Are You Mentally Ill Or Just Slacking? Quiz #5

Appendix Daily Affirmations for the Slacker About the Author The official Slacker handbook