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Imperial Library
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Index
Cover
Epigraph
Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Contents
Introduction
Hopping Into The Slack
Slack Like Me
Slacking Throughout History
The Slack Sensibility
The Slack Pantheon
Slackers Don’T Jog
A Day In The Life Of A Slacker
Mastering Sleep
Are You A Slacker?
Slacking Through Academia
College: Pace Yourself
Choosing A Major
Knowing When To Leave
I Hate My Job: Slacking At Work
Adventures In Serfdom: Choosing A Day Job
8 Jobs You Can Do While Wearing Your Pajamas
Dream Jobs To Day Jobs
Guerilla Temps Unite
Stealing Things From Work: Sin? Or Practical Form Of Political Protest?
The Sacking Of A Slacker: In Revenge Sleeping Is The Best
"I Ain’T Gonna Work On Maggie’S Farm No More": The Self-Employed Slacker
Slacking On The Dole: Bilking The U.S. Government
13 Things Parents Will Still Pay For
How To Sell Little Snippets Of Your Liver For Really Big Bucks: Drug Study Bonanzas And Other Unconventional Windfalls
Forewarned Is Forearmed
Rate Your Day Job Quiz #2
The Look And How To Get It
Principles Of Slack Fashion
A Brief History Of The Goatee
Secrets Of Outpatient Hair: How To Look Functionally Insane
If It’S Not Free, You Can’T Afford It: The Look For Men
Inside The Slack Pocket
Conforming To Non Conformity: The Look For Women
Why We’Ve Stopped Wearing Underpants
The Gap: Out Of Your Price Range
Transcending Hygiene: Grunge Was A Trend, Grease Is Lifestyle
Home Sweet Hovel
Interior Design, The Slacker Way
Code Violations
Inside The Bottom Dresser Drawer
Laundry: Mirror Of The Self
How To Forestall The Inevitable: Utility Termination And You
Ode To The Futon
When Your House Is, Uh, Your Home: Living With Your Parents
The Cool Parent Equation
The Abcs Of Squatting
Dumpster Diving
Free Food In The Mail
Do Ferrets Stink? House Pets As Surrogate Children
How To Make Hallucinogenic Drugs From Simple Household Chemicals
Slacker Soriety
Top 10 Cities To Slack In
The Unwritten Rules: Mastering Cafe Etiquette
13 Weighty Questions To Ponder While Sitting In A Cafe
The Cafe-Goer’s Who’s Who
Cafe Brain Teaser: The Serial Killers
Why We Smoke Cigarettes
Alcoholism On A Shoestring Budget
Hemp Vs. Coke: A Drug Primer
The Chess-Playing Slacker
Ah, Darts: Lowering Your Leisure-Time Brow
My Hobbies
Wanderlust
Slacker Pilgrimages
The Driveaway
Airhitch
Slacker Sex
Intellectual Foreplay
But Who Spring For The Condoms?: The New Sex Etiquette
The Slacker Network: How It Works
Met A Guy Who Hangs Out In This Cafe Who Knew A Guy Who Worked In A Bike Shop Where This Girl Hung Out: The Power Of Relationships
How To Pick Up Art School Chicks
To The Victor Go The Spoils: Breaking Up
Sophie’S Choice, Quiz #3
Intellectual Pretension
Pretending To Read
12 Books To Tell Other People You’Ve Read
The Slack Syllabus
The Books We Love To Hate
Useless Causes 101
Arguing Philosophy To Win
18 Key Words To Employ During A Heated Cafe Debate
Film Threat Magazine’S Top Ten Slacker Films, Give Or Take
Unshackling The Human Spirit: The Slacker as Unrecognized Genius
You And Your Dormant Potential
Creating A Buzz: Telling Others About Your Talent
Alienation And The Muse
The Poetry Slam
The Five-Minute Poet
The Art Of Fiction: Showing Off Your Suburban Childhood Scars
The Slacker’S Copyright
Creativity: The Dark Side
The "Start Your Own Rock Band" Kit
The Film School Dilemma
Alternacomix
Qualities Of A Good Screenplay Writing Partner
Should You Sell Out?
Are You A Temperamental Auteur Or Just Another Moody Slacker? Quiz #4
Inside The Twisted Slacker Psyche
Martins Vs. Masons: Choosing A Conspiracy Theory
Alien Lexicon
Novus Ordo Seclorum: Masons In The White House
Conspiracy A-Go-Go
Is That A Safety Pin In Your Nipple Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?: Slacking Through Ritualized Pain
The Paranoia Checklist
The Inner Pain Chart: What Your Tattoos Say About You
Are You Mentally Ill Or Just Slacking? Quiz #5
Appendix
Daily Affirmations for the Slacker
About the Author
The official Slacker handbook
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