Fifty Shades of Black by Black, Arthur -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Part One: Hello, It's Me!

Extra! Extra! Read All About Me! Caution: Klutz on the Loose Ownly the Loanly Fan Mail Welcome; Clipping, Not So Much ’Tis the Season of the Chrome-Dome Aging Jubilantly And I Mean That Sincerely Big Bully? Big Deal Memo to Self: Wake Up Male Vanity: It’s Inhairited Take Back the Night Sung Any Good Songs Lately? A-Mushing We Shall Go—Not Double Your Pleasure

Part Two: Getting Along with the Neighbours

The Not-So-Friendly Skies There Auto Be a Law Cambodia: Phoenix Rising A Bellyful of Bad Guys You Wanna Bet? Comox Women Rock! A Walk on the Wild Side Make Mine a Double-Double Of Beavers and Bullets Of Diamonds and Medallions Underground with the Viet Cong Armed and Out to Lunch Of Canaries and Chickens

Part Three: Human, Nature

Here’s to Henny Caution: Boobs on Display Got Beavers? Leave ’Em to Cougars To Beard or Not to Beard Canadian Heroes, Subspecies: Unsung Kilroy Wasn’t There In Vietnam, Don’t Order the Mutt-on Would You Read This, Please? Forever Moe Just a Card to Say: Way to Go! Sally Armstrong: Hero Cuts Like a Knife Saskatchewan Floyd How Old Is “Old”? Can’t Lose If You Don’t Buy a Ticket

Part Four: Home Sweet Salt Spring

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Cell Service The Daily Grind Geese: Not for the Faint-Hearted Remembering Names? I’m a Bust Hookers on Salt Spring It’s a Jungle Out Here Island Hopping The Naked Truth Pecha Kucha Power Whale Watching Hollywood North? Don’t Believe It Another Perfect Day in Paradise Small Differences; Big Problem Double Trouble a-Brewing? Tourism: Blessing or Curse? Everything New Is Old Again

Part Five: Closed Captioned for the Language Impaired

Parlez-Vous “Cop”? English as She Is Spoke S’up with English? LOL! If It’s Okay with You . . . Using Phroper English Words at Work Name That Town Errors and That Typo Thing The Not-So-Grand Ole Opry Shoo Fly, Don’t Bother Me Best Job in the World

Part Six: Believe It or Not...

Mmm, Mmm! Cricket Cacciatore! Tainted Money A Sign of the Times Bubble-Wrap the Kiddies Watch Your Mouth! To P or Not to P Road Rage: A Handy Guide Too Much to Bear C’mon Canada—Do the Locomotion Where There’s Smoke, There’s Ire Shakespeare the Spin Doctor Ice Fishing in the Olympics?

Part Seven: Man vs. Machine: Who's Winning?

Ruins: The New Pornography Cementing Relationships Older but Dumber Rule Britannica! Not Whatever Happened to Email? Riding on Spaceship Earth Weapons of Mass Distraction Your Call Is Important—Har-Har Come On—Get Real! Dear Siri: Please Marry Me The Father of the Couch Potato When Ya Gotta Go . . . If the Phone Rings, It’s Not for Me Caution: Future Dead Ahead Hears to Us The Good Old Hawking Game My Name Is Art. I Am a Shopaholic