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Index
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Contents
Part 1
Chapter One : THE MAYOR OF LOSERVILLE
Chapter Two : FANCY THAT
Chapter Three : THAR SHE BLOWS!
Chapter Four : THANKS A LOT, HERMAN!
Chapter Five : A WUSSY-CRAP NAME
Chapter Six : THE CREATURE FROM LE SEWER
Chapter Seven : MOBY WHAT?
Chapter Eight : FIVE AMAZING FACTS ABOUT ME
Chapter Nine : NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY
Chapter Ten : HEY, BLUBBER BOY!
Chapter Eleven : INSIDE THE MINCING MACHINE
Part 2
Chapter Twelve : GEEK-SEEKING MISSILES
Chapter Thirteen : THE BEST VIEW OF THE ICEBERG
Chapter Fourteen : BAD BARRY VERSUS TWITCHY JAMES
Chapter Fifteen : WHOOSH!
Chapter Sixteen : THE UNEARTHLY EARDRUM-SHREDDING SHRIEK
Chapter Seventeen : THE EXCREMENT HAS ?IT THE FAN
Chapter Eighteen : A BEAST, NO MORE!
Chapter Nineteen : THE MAGNON
Chapter Twenty : DANCING POLES OF JELLO
Part 3
Chapter Twenty-One : GO TEAM!
Chapter Twenty-Two : THE FOUR STEPS OF EFFECTIVE REBUTTAL
Chapter Twenty-Three : TWO BLUSHING PENGUINS
Chapter Twenty-Four : MY BROTHER, MY CAPTAIN, MY KING!
Chapter Twenty-Five : EVERYONE’S ENTITLED TO THEIR OPINION
Chapter Twenty-Six : THE BAT CONTROLLER
Chapter Twenty-Seven : THE OLD BRER RABBIT TRICK
Chapter Twenty-Eight : DEAD MAN WALKING
Chapter Twenty-Nine : DEAD TO THE POWER DEAD
Chapter Thirty : BLANKING HELL!
Chapter Thirty-One : TIME FOR BEDDY-BYES
Chapter Thirty-Two : CLOSE ENCOUNTER OF THE ?ERD KIND
Chapter Thirty-Three : THE REALLY UGLY PART
Chapter Thirty-Four : DROWNING IN OUR OWN OFFAL
Chapter Thirty-Five : DEATH BY LETHAL INJECTION
Chapter Thirty-Six : LIKE A LIGHT SABRE THROUGH BUTTER
Chapter Thirty-Seven : PROBABLY NOTHING
Part 4
Chapter Thirty-Eight : WHO YA GONNA CALL?
Chapter Thirty-Nine : THE THIN BROWN LINE
Chapter Forty : LIKE ICE CREAM IN A MICROWAVE
Chapter Forty-One : THE KING OF DROOL
Chapter Forty-Two : THE REAL DEAL
Chapter Forty-Three : WIRED AND TICKING
Chapter Forty-Four : EVERY LOST BATTLE
Part 5
Chapter Forty-Five : THE TRADITIONAL END-OF-YEAR ASSEMBLY/MASS/PRIZE-GIVING/SPEECH NIGHT/EXTRAVAGANZA THINGY
Chapter Forty-Six : HOT SPACE CHICKS GET NAKED
Chapter Forty-Seven : HANNIBAL LECTOR’S MUM
Chapter Forty-Eight : GREAT: ADJECTIVE - LARGE, ENORMOUS, MASSIVE; UNUSUAL OR EXTREME - AS IN GREAT JOY
Chapter Forty-Nine : THE MOST IMPORTANT BIT
Chapter Fifty : THE MOTHER OF ALL WILD, BARBARIC YAWPS
Acknowledgments
Also by Michael Gerard Bauer
About the Author
Copyright
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