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Imperial Library
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Index
Cover
Other Books by This Author
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Contents
Epigraph
Borrowed Time
She Works Hard for the Money
The Need to Succeed
Fly Me to the Moan
Sex, Lies, and Videotape
Death Be Not Loud
“Here’s Johnny … !”
Truth Be Told
Movin’ on Up!
Can I Take Your Order, Please?
A Sport by Any Other Name
Fs and Us, Ps and Qs
The Gift of the Grab
Readin’, Ritin’, and ’Rithmetic
Some Things Never Change
Brains vs. Boobs
Better Living Through Candy
Boy Meets Girl (or Whatever)
Everybody’s Talking … About Everybody Else
“I Want to Live Forever …”
Just Say “Yes”
Speedy Gonzalez
A House Divided
Mirror, Mirror
Photo Insert
Bogey & Bacall
Lock Up Your Virgins
The Purse
Dr. Frankenstein and the Red Carpet Monster
The Red Carpet Means You’ve Made It!
Know When to Fold ’Em
Swag the Dog
Something in the Oven
Too Soon?
I Love You … or Not
The Loo of Love
From Here to Maternity
Begin the BAGuine
Do Your Duty(-Free Shopping)
A Dingo Stole My Baby
Murder and Mayhem
Parenting a Parent
Not Under My Roof
Forty Is the New Fifty
Pillow Talk
I’ve Got a Secret
Customer Disservice
Fifty Shades of Cray
Ivy Day
Speaking of My Mother …
The End
Acknowledgments
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