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Index
Dedication Concerning the Bible . . . Contents Author’s Note Chapter 1—I’ll Take Door Number Three
When the Bible Doesn’t Behave The Bible Isn’t the Problem My Life, in Brief, and Such as It Is Concerning Camels’ Backs and Beach Balls Door Number Three So What’s My Point?
Chapter 2—God Did what?!
How not to Treat Other People Those Wicked, Horrible Canaanites Marching Orders “If Jesus Sends People to Hell, What’s So Bad About Killing Some Canaanites??” God’s Nicer Side Worst. Sinners. Ever. It’s a Tribal Culture Thing Digging for Answers God Lets His Children Tell the Story Why This Chapter Is So Important and So Dreadfully Long
Chapter 3—God Likes Stories
What Happened? The Stories of Jesus Little Baby Jesuses Who Saw the Big Moment? The Stories of Israel The Past Serves the Present A Warm-Up for the Main Event A Sneak Peek at the Political Map Playing Favorites with Little Brother Adam, Who Art thou? The Exodus Story When Gods Fight What’s with All the Water? Stories Work
Chapter 4—Why Doesn’t God Make Up His Mind?
Raising Kids by the Book (FYI, It Doesn’t Work) “If I Wanted to Tell You What to Do, I Would Have”—God When Biblical Writers Get Cranky “Don’t Quote the Bible at Me, Please. I’m God.” –God, to Job and His Friends Is There More Than One God? (And, No, This Isn’t a Trick Question) God Seems Like a Regular Joe God Lays Down the Law . . . Sort Of
Chapter 5—Jesus Is Bigger Than the Bible
Jesus Gets a Big Fat “F” in Bible Jesus Was Actually Jewish (Go Figure) Jesus Messes with the Bible Jesus: Moses 2.0 Jesus Picks Fights Jesus Was a Human Being
Chapter 6—No One Saw This Coming
I Could Tell You But You Wouldn’t Understand Good News! Our Leader Was Executed by the Romans! Come Join Us! “It’s All About Me.”—Jesus (According to Luke and Matthew) Are We There Yet? Jesus, Savior of the World God’s Answer to a Question No One Was Asking “Torah? Oh That. It Was Only Temporary.”—God (As Told to Paul) “Why Don’t You Just Go Castrate Yourself,” and Other Spiritual Advice
Chapter 7—The Bible, Just as It Is
For Those on the Go, the Entire Book in Exactly 265 Words (With Brief Commentary) A Quick Thought About the Universe and God Laughing Not That I’m Trying to Tell You What tO do, But . . .
Where in the Bible Were We? (In Order of Appearance) Some Dates I Keep Referring To (And a Few Others) In Case You Don’t Believe Me and Want to Read More Acknowledgments Copyright About the Publisher
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