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Index
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Contents
Part One
One of the Rats in the Race
You Want a Smoke?
Karen Croaked, Too
Half a Clock
Your Encounter with the Tapioca Lady
Shit Happens…but Only Occasionally
Chat with Nurse Doom
Eek! A Mouse
Don’t Leave Me This Way
Click Your Heels Three Times and Press the Call Button
Impulsively Yours
Which Hand Was That?
With Apologies to David Letterman
Case in Point
Cry Me a River
Facing the Chicken
Who’s Squinting?
Brace Yourself
Numbness Is in the Eye of the Beholder
The Babe
Your Friend Pays a Visit
Let Me Give You a Hand
Part Two
Judge Judy Gets Hammered
You Can Keep the Dime
Coming to Terms with Shoe Envy
Reflections from a Metal Cage
Dad’s Question
Ray-Bans and the Search for Cool
Déjà Vu
Residents Out for Blood
Testing Your Patient
A Piece of Your Mind
Return to Sender
Pardon Me, but You’re Incompetent
A Lot of Fuktion
Honey
It Ain’t Spring Showers
You Have to Be Dead to Get That Arrangement
Where You Aren’t
The Moaning Lady
Disabled Chariot
Fall Down Seven Times, Get Up Eight
The Quasimodo Walk
Musical Chairs
What You Do Best
Option C
Potty Perils
Jurassic Meltdown
Brain Delayed
This Party Will Self-Destruct in Thirty Seconds
The Incident
Part Three
Beating the Odds, but Still Coming Up Uneven
A Pothole in the Journey
Steady
Bodyguards
You Shall Be Released
Welcome to Headquarters
Foreplay Takes On a New Meaning
Can You Say “Denying Denial”?
On Your Back
Now Lie in It
Recipe for Success: Ignore Authority Figures
My Gait Ain’t What It Used to Be
Balancing Act
What Is Left…Is Only Right
The Dirty Words
Going Nowhere—Slowly
Part Four
A Little Prick
Plastic Cup Blues
Your Money’s Worth
Poof, You’re Healed
Coincidence Is in the Plan
Daisy and Audrey
Chestnuts Explodingon an Open Fire
Riptide
All Shapes and Forms
Driving Miss Julia
Homage to Your Hemorrhage
Have Two Massive Mood Swings and Call Me in the Morning
Bright Lights, Big Electrodes
What Goes Up…
Not Exactly the Therapy You Had in Mind
Dealing with What You Have
Bitter Prescription
Potted
A Walker Disguisedas a Stroller
Moving On
Limping for Joy
Your Own Problems
A Trip to the Bahamas
Over the Edge
The Blockhead Club
“You’re Incurable.” “I Want a Second Opinion.” “Okay, You’re Also a Pain in the Ass.”
In the Mood
Slip-Sliding Away
You Must Be So Proud
End of Discussion
Edie Sees Her Husband
“What Are You Going to Do After Your Stroke?” “I’m Going to Disney World!”
Out of the Blue
Push Harder
Another System
Promises
Part Five
A Stroke of Luck
Wings and Ladders
Acknowledgments
Appendixes
A Prescription for a Productive Doctor’s Visit
An Open Letter to All Doctors
Basic Dos and Don’ts for Doctors
About the Author
Praise
Copyright
About the Publisher
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