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Index
About The Author
Copyright
Dedication
Dear Reader
Introduction
You Took the Last Bus Home
The Ice Cream Vans
For We Shall Stare at Mobile Phones
A Surprise Ending
University Challenged
In Praise of the Comma
Night at the London Palindrome
Carpe DMs
Frisbee
Literal Thinking
Poem, Revised Draft
Ping to My Pong
Thirty Rules for Midlife Rebellion
The Explosion
Words
Read My Lips
I Before E (Except After Sea)
No Hands Macpherson
The Heebie Bee Gees
Curriculum Vitae
Scenes from a Railway Carriage
Twelve Haiku
Compilation Cassette
Acrostic Guitar
Bin Lorries
Mixed Up
Haiku for Doomed Youth
Friday the 13th
Duffle Coat
At the Intersection
The Pillow Man
The Power of a Homophone
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Night Vision
Bonfire 451
How Much I Dislike the Daily Mail
A Brok n Po m
Receptacles
How’s Wally?
Sporkle
Roger’s Thesaurus
Too Much to Bare
Choreplay
Orpheus in the Umbroworld
The Day That Twitter Went Down
Anthem for Unnamed Storms
Book Group
Coquet
Smoking Jacket
Bags
No, You Cannot Borrow My Mobile Phone Charger
Granny Smith
Jessica Fletcher Investigates
Love Excels
Busman’s Holiday
Paradise Not Regained
Running Wild
My Unbearable Politeness of Being
Pusher
Clive of Suburbia
The Boogie Monster
Morrissey’s Quiff
Thin Poem
Subbuteo
The Offertory
The Problem of Writing a Poem in the Shape of a Heart
Envy Not the Rich Man for I, Though Poor…
Light Verse
Internet Shopping
Cuppa
New Year Office Chitchat
Frenemies
Love Poem, Written in Haste (with Autocorrect on)
A Chemical Romance
Lollipop Ladies
Divided by a Common Language
The Interview
Black Friday
Hear, They’re and Everywear
A Forest, Which Grew
Ballad of the Ballot Paper
The Occidental Tourist
The Waiting Room
Eggbasket
Unforeseen Consequences
You Can’t Judge a Book
Love Is a Skin
Toby
Upon Delivering a Lecture on the Work of One Direction
Fall
The Perils of Reading
Prometheus Uncreased
Parties
We Are Books
Lines Written Upon Arriving at a Holiday Cottage and Discovering the Lack of Reliable Wi-Fi
The Grammar Police
Upon Awakening to the Sounds of Distant Rumbles
Ode to a Weather Girl
Morrissey’s Fridge
In the Departure Lounge
This is One of Those Poems Without Any Rhymes
You Are a Map
Haiku #478629
Australia
Your Search Returned No Results
Reach out to Me
Please Sing to Me Your Songs of Sweet, Sweet Love
Kiss
Life: A Record
Selfie Stick
A Little Light Verse
Untitled
Plane Verse
Anthem for Doomed Ruth
Haiku Horoscopes
Whither Spoons?
The Importance of the Oxford Comma
Lapse
The Chelsea Flower Show Massacre
Languish School
Haiku #64471
Invincible Vince
Every Song on the Radio Reminds Me of You
Clarkson Apologist
Melancholy Communion
Not Her Cup of Tea
Penned Up Emotion
‘Life Is an Inspirational Quote’
The Pedents’ Revolt
Lamina: A Palindromic Poem
If Your Heart Was an Org Chart
The Great Famine
Clowns
Beards
Name Calling
Logomachy
Fluff
Desemicolonisation
Suspicion
Origami
Missing the Moon
Her Universe
Malcolm
Wallycobbles
4’ 37”
Needles
Little Poems
The Unbearable Lightness of Boing
Things I Would (and Wouldn’t) Do for Love
Haiku #1
Ode to a USB Stick
Paul Young
You Stitched Together the Pauses
The Poet Laurie Ate
The Correct Attire for Yoga
Jewel
The Crocs of the Matter
Tony
Love Amongst The Dominoes
A Night On The Tiles
Haiku #298610
Poetry Books Offer
Lady Philately's Lover
Police Notice: Schrödinger’s Cat
Stack
Robert Frost’s Netflix Choice
Refugees
No Laughing Matter
Fifty-One Words for Rain
Without You
Poundland Economics
Two Paths Diverged
You Bagged All the Seats
Over My Dead Body
4x4
Why I Have Never Read War and Peace: Ten Excuses
Pretty Things
The Love Song of Brian H. Bilston
Ceci N'est Pas Un Poeme
Acknowledgements
Supporters
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