Very Bad Poetry

Writing very bad poetry requires talent.  It helps to have a wooden ear for words, a penchant for sinking into a mire of sentimentality, and an enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence.

The 131 poems collected in this first-of-its-kind anthology are so glaringly awful that they embody a kind of genius.  From Fred Emerson Brooks' "The Stuttering Lover" to Matthew Green's "The Spleen" to Georgia Bailey Parrington's misguided "An Elegy to a Dissected Puppy", they mangle meter, run rampant over rhyme, and bludgeon us into insensibility with their grandiosity, anticlimax, and malapropism.

Guaranteed to move even the most stoic reader to tears (of laughter), **Very Bad Poetry** is sure to become a favorite of the poetically inclined (and disinclined).

*From the Trade Paperback edition.*

**

### Review

Diet *by John Armstrong*

11. *by Alfred Austin*

12. *by Alfred Austin*

And Do They Wear That Lubricating Lie *by Alfred Austin*

But The Fleet Hours Pass Pitilessly Fleeter *by Alfred Austin*

Part 1. *by Alfred Austin*

Lord Stanhope Hit Upon A Novel Plan *by T. Baker*

Yet Here, Tho' Amusing The Sight *by Samuel Bently*

Come, Lowly Ones, And Take Your Places Now *by Marion Albina Bigelow*

Two Smothered Children *by Marion Albina Bigelow*

Equality *by Edwin Emanuel Bradford*

His Mother Drinks *by Edwin Emanuel Bradford*

There Was A Woman Lived In Winston-salem *by I. J. Brittain*

From Thine Eyrie, The Crag *by Fred Emerson Brooks*

The New Baby *by Fred Emerson Brooks*

The Stuttering Lover *by Fred Emerson Brooks*

Her Lips Disclosed To View *by Solyman Brown*

Whene'er Along The Ivory Disks, Are Seen *by Solyman Brown*

Between Our Folding Lips *by Thomas Edward Brown*

A Holland Brick *by Wallace Bruce*

The Wanderer: 5. In Holland: Going Back Again *by Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-lytton*

I Found A Corpse, With Golden Hair *by Edward Robert Bulwer-lytton*

She Is Talking Aesthetics, The Dear Clever Creature *by Edward Robert Bulwer-lytton*

Dear Mother *by Henry Cuyler Bunner*

A Real Romance *by Henry Cuyler Bunner*

Alas! Carolina! *by J. Gordon Coogler*

Byron *by J. Gordon Coogler*

Charming Steel Horse *by J. Gordon Coogler*

God Correctly Understood *by J. Gordon Coogler*

I Dreamed The Other Night *by J. Gordon Coogler*

More Care For The Neck Than For The Intellect *by J. Gordon Coogler*

O That The Lilies And Roses Were Mine *by J. Gordon Coogler*

A Pretty Girl *by J. Gordon Coogler*

Becalmed In The Tropics *by Eliza Cook*

I Plunged My Beak In The Marbling Cheek *by Eliza Cook*

A Pathetic Lament (on People Visiting A Castle) *by Eliza Cook*

There Are Hearts -- Stout Hearts, -- That Own No Fear *by Eliza Cook*

A Varied Theme It Utters *by Eliza Cook*

Corn, Corn, Sweet Indian Corn *by William W. Cook*

Only One Eye *by Lillian E. Curtis*

The Potato *by Lillian E. Curtis*

The Two Bears *by Lillian E. Curtis*

Lines 82 - 129 *by Dante Alighieri*

Kansas *by J. P. Dunn*

An Ode To Governor Capper *by J. P. Dunn*

The Homeward Bound Passenger Ship *by Edward Edwin Foot*

A Lisp In Numbers *by Edward Edwin Foot*

Lord Arnold Delicately Sought To Name *by Edward Edwin Foot*

'hullo!' *by Sam Walter Foss*

The Northeast Wind Did Briskly Blow *by James Grainger*

The Sugar Cane *by James Grainger*

In Praise Of Water-gruel *by Matthew Green*

Albert Victor Loved His Mother *by Joseph Gwyer*

At Evening Too The Dazzled Light *by Joseph Gwyer*

His Request *by Joseph Gwyer*

Intoxicating Draughts He Never Does Drink *by Joseph Gwyer*

To Alfred Gwyer *by Joseph Gwyer*

Ada Queetie Dead *by Nancy Luce*

A Tragedy *by Theophile Julius Henry Marzials*

Accidents *by William Mcgonagall*

April 8th *by William Mcgonagall*

Death *by William Mcgonagall*

God Sent The Whale *by William Mcgonagall*

The Late Sir John Ogilvy *by William Mcgonagall*

Pitiful Sight *by William Mcgonagall*

The Procession *by William Mcgonagall*

Queen Victoria *by William Mcgonagall*

Railway Bridge *by William Mcgonagall*

Railway Bridge *by William Mcgonagall*

The Tay Bridge Disaster *by William Mcgonagall*

Watch-cases *by William Mcgonagall*

The Ancient Poets Ne'er Did Dream *by James Mcintyre*

Disaster To Steamer Victoria At London *by James Mcintyre*

Ode On The Mammoth Cheese (weighing Over 7,000 Pounds) *by James Mcintyre*

Prophecy Of A Ten Ton Cheese *by James Mcintyre*

Shelley *by James Mcintyre*

When We Do Trace Out Nature's Laws *by James Mcintyre*

Wooden Leg *by James Mcintyre*

A Sermon To Our Later Prodigal Son *by George Meredith*

Animals *by James Lewis Milligan*

A Child's Thought *by Bertha Moore*

Air -- Roll On, Silver Moon *by Julia A. Moore*

The Ashtabula Disaster *by Julia A. Moore*

Enos Page The Youngest Brother *by Julia A. Moore*

Hiram Helsel *by Julia A. Moore*

Month Of May *by Julia A. Moore*

One Morning In April, A Short Time Ago *by Julia A. Moore*

She Had Blue Eyes And Light Flaxen Hair *by Julia A. Moore*

What I Have Wrote *by Julia A. Moore*

When Mr. Dennis Does Well Play *by Julia A. Moore*

Midnight *by Frederick B. Needham*

An Elegy To A Dissected Puppy, Sels. *by Georgia Bailey Parrington*

On Time, Death, And Eternity *by Robert Peter*

I Kissed Pa Twice After His Death *by Mattie J. Peterson*

I Sometimes Alligators Heard *by Mattie J. Peterson*

Lines Written For A Friend On The Death Of His Brother *by James Henry Powell*

I'm Thist A Little Cripple Boy, An' Never Goin' To Grow *by James Whitcomb Riley*

The Smitten Purist *by James Whitcomb Riley*

Us-folks Is Purty Pore - But Ma *by James Whitcomb Riley*

And Smoke And Spit, No Matter Where *by Amanda Mckittrick Ros*

The End Of Pain *by Amanda Mckittrick Ros*

A Little Belgian Orphan *by Amanda Mckittrick Ros*

The Old Home *by Amanda Mckittrick Ros*

On A Girl Who Took Action For Breach Of Promise *by Amanda Mckittrick Ros*

On Visiting Westminster Abbey *by Amanda Mckittrick Ros*

Thoughts *by Amanda Mckittrick Ros*

A Circus Master Speaks To The Clowns *by Francis Saltus Saltus*

The Kiss *by Francis Saltus Saltus*

Mothers *by Francis Saltus Saltus*

My Hands *by Francis Saltus Saltus*

Posthumous Revenge *by Francis Saltus Saltus*

Sad, On Broadway Next Afternoon *by Francis Saltus Saltus*

Gooing Babies, Helpless Pygmies *by John William Scholl*

Beauty And The Beast *by George Robert Sims*

I Saw Her In Cabbage Time (a Dutch Melody) *by Slocum Slugs [pseud.]*

He Stood, The Last - The Last Of All *by William Bingham Tappan*

March *by William Bingham Tappan*

Obey Your Parents *by William Bingham Tappan*

Battles Of Joshua *by Anonymous*

I Watch The Sanitary State *by Anonymous*

Independence Day *by Anonymous*

My Last Tooth *by Anonymous*

Ode To A Ditch *by Anonymous*

There Is A Greater Charm To Me *by Anonymous*

Doleful Tales *by Samuel Wesley*

Freeborn Pindaric Never Does Refuse *by Samuel Wesley*

Catastrophe *by Cornelius Whur*

In A Dark And Trying Hour *by Cornelius Whur*

And He Held Me Fast, And He Said, 'at Last' *by Ella Wheeler Wilcox*

Come Back Clean *by Ella Wheeler Wilcox*

A Love Sonnet *by George Wither*

Before You Up The Mountain Go *by William Wordsworth*

-- *Table of Poems from Poem Finder®*

### From the Inside Flap

bad poetry requires talent.  It helps to have a wooden ear for words, a penchant for sinking into a mire of sentimentality, and an enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence.

The 131 poems collected in this first-of-its-kind anthology are so glaringly awful that they embody a kind of genius.  From Fred Emerson Brooks' "The Stuttering Lover" to Matthew Green's "The Spleen" to Georgia Bailey Parrington's misguided "An Elegy to a Dissected Puppy", they mangle meter, run rampant over rhyme, and bludgeon us into insensibility with their grandiosity, anticlimax, and malapropism.

Guaranteed to move even the most stoic reader to tears (of laughter), **Very Bad Poetry** is sure to become a favorite of the poetically inclined (and disinclined).