Create an Emotional Connection with Your Customers
As a sales professional, you’re a crucial part of your customers’ buying experience just as much as, or even more than, the products and services you represent. Our first motivator, connected, is all about creating strong connections with your customers.
I’ve never once met anyone who has said, “My goal is to alienate my customers.” Everyone I meet has the best intentions to treat customers equally well and believes in their heart that they do. But misunderstandings can happen that are sometimes rooted in the different life experiences men and women bring to the table. What follows are composites of three classic connection “killers” I’ve heard repeatedly from women buyers. As you read them, ask yourself: Would these situations happen with male customers?
THE UNWANTED COMPLIMENT
A young woman walks into a small furniture store to look at a sofa she’s spied in the window. The place is empty except for a lone employee, who stands up and greets her by saying, “You just made my day. I love it when a beautiful woman comes into my store.” The salesperson thinks he is establishing rapport by paying her a compliment. He assumes all women want to hear that they’re beautiful.
The compliment has the opposite effect on the customer. She freezes and is immediately uncomfortable. In her view, a comment on her appearance from a male stranger in an empty store is inappropriate and unwanted. It has nothing to do with buying a sofa. She leaves the store, and he tells himself she wasn’t serious about buying. She gets a new sofa somewhere else.
What went wrong: The sales professional lost his customer at hello. He was trained on the features and benefits of every product in the store, but in the end it didn’t matter. He failed to connect with this customer because he mistakenly believed that flattering her looks would be a good icebreaker. Understanding how to use compliments in customer interactions is important. It’s not that compliments in general are unwelcome; it’s that context, judgment, and language matter, particularly for women buyers. Did the sales professional intend for his comment to make her uncomfortable? No. But he hasn’t spent a lifetime as a woman, being judged on appearances; thus, his perspective is completely different from hers. In this context, it would have been wiser for him to compliment her great choice of sofa instead. When in doubt about whether a compliment may be received well, take the “When in Doubt” test on page 50.
THE OVER-SHARER
A woman walks into a luxury car dealership to test-drive and buy (she hopes) the car she’s been researching online. She feels great when she realizes a female salesperson will be taking her on the test-drive. While she’s driving the short distance, the salesperson establishes that they’re both mothers of young children and starts talking about her recent divorce and her ex-husband’s unwillingness to pay childcare. The customer is not interested in the sales associate’s personal life and resents being forced to listen to her problems while in the car. The sales associate feels she is creating a bond with a fellow mother by sharing her personal story. She thinks, Bonding is what women do, and now this customer has a reason to relate to me.
By the end of the test-drive, the sales associate is still talking about her ex-husband, and the client is so exasperated she doesn’t buy the new car because it would mean spending hours with the salesperson to execute the contract. She leaves and doesn’t come back to the dealership. The salesperson wrongly assumes this woman was a “tire kicker” and doesn’t realize her poor interpersonal skills drove her to a competitor, where she bought the very same car—no test-drive needed.
What went wrong: The customer was looking for a new car, not a new friend. This salesperson failed to walk the line between connecting with her customer by finding something in common and chasing her away by over-sharing personal information. We’ll cover how to walk that fine line between “too much” and “not enough” through what I call the “boomerang strategy” on page 70.
THE “NO QUESTIONS ASKED” BAD LISTENER
A mature woman sits down for an introductory phone call with a prospective financial advisor. Right off the bat, the advisor talks nonstop about his experience, his perspective on the market, and the pros and cons of specific financial products. He talks so much she can’t interject a word, and after what feels like forever, she starts to tune him out. He has yet to ask her a single question about her goals or what she’s looking for, and he is talking about products that are irrelevant to her needs. She cuts the call short and hangs up the phone, and he never hears from her again. He is left with the impression that she wasn’t serious about engaging an advisor. She was.
What went wrong: This advisor spent too much time talking about himself and not enough time listening to his customer. Little did he know, this customer had decades of investing experience. His intention was to establish his credentials, but by dominating the conversation for so long and not asking questions early enough, he conveyed that if he were her advisor, she wouldn’t be listened to or taken seriously. Active listening is key to winning in the women’s market for any sales professional, and we’ll cover multiple strategies for demonstrating this skill.
Each of these well-intentioned professionals had hoped to connect with his or her customers, and the customers had hoped to buy something. The sales professionals were unable to engage—and subsequently earn the business—because their ideas about how to connect with women were based on stereotypes, such as the idea that complimenting a woman on her looks is sure to win her over, or that aggressively displaying one’s expertise is more important than listening. To effectively engage with modern women, we need to drop the stereotypes and learn what it really takes to connect. Here are some old assumptions to avoid:
• Don’t assume your customer is married, no matter her age or motherhood status. Marriage rates are lower than they’ve ever been, due to factors such as high divorce rates, the cultural acceptance of cohabitating, and the increase in diverse, nontraditional family structures.
• Don’t assume that if your customer is married, she has the same last name as her spouse. Many women keep their maiden names upon marriage.
• Don’t assume your married customer is not the breadwinner. As we see in the numbers mentioned in the previous chapter, women are increasingly the primary income earners for their households.
• Don’t assume her partner or spouse is a man. In the United States, same-sex marriage is legal in all fifty states.
• Don’t assume that all married women are mothers. There are more adults than ever who do not have kids; there are also many who have them later in life. I’ve interviewed women who were mistaken for their children’s nannies or even their grandmothers.
To help you in this area even further, here are some of the conversational “watch-outs” to avoid:
• When you find out a woman is childless, don’t probe for reasons why, unless the information is needed to help her make a buying decision. Otherwise, respect her privacy in this area. Some women are childless by chance, and others are childless by choice. One way to respectfully learn about your customers’ lifestyles—male or female—is to address topics such as what a typical day looks like for them, who lives in their households, or who else might use a product they’re interested in buying.
• Don’t say, “I guess you’re more of a career person, right?” to a woman who doesn’t have kids, for the same reasons as above.
• If you meet a woman who tells you she has one child, do not ask, “Don’t you want your child to have a brother or sister?”
Regardless of your good intentions, do your best to avoid making comments that your customers could interpret as judgments about their personal lives.
TAKE THE “WHEN IN DOUBT” TEST
All of these comments fail my “When in Doubt” test for personal remarks: this is an inclusivity test in which you ask yourself, Would I say this to a man? Our furniture salesman from the beginning of this chapter would fail this test, because it’s unlikely he would ever comment on a male customer’s attractiveness. It’s also unlikely someone would say, “I guess you’re more of a career person” to a man with a job. While there are no definitive rules on these matters, here’s a helpful guideline: If you wouldn’t say something to a male customer in a million years, think twice before saying it to a woman. Of course, there are exceptions—especially when it comes to appearance-related compliments in the fashion and beauty industries—but the bottom line is that your customer wants to feel that you’re helping her make the best choice and not judging her on aspects of her life that have nothing to do with what you’re selling.
Now that we’ve covered some of the “watch-outs,” what should be done instead? What are the modern protocols for connecting with women buyers? The pages ahead will give you strategies for enhancing your connection, and best practices from some of the individuals and companies that do it best. There’s no end to the possibilities for creating deeper and longer-lasting customer connections. For instance, let’s look at how one extraordinary Chicago dental practice connects with its patients.
BEST PRACTICE
Always There Dental Care
Connecting Against All Odds
Everyone remembers being afraid of going to the dentist as a kid. For many people, that fear never goes away. Imagine what life must be like for dentists, whose livelihoods depend on building such strong connections with patients that they’re willing to overcome their fears to come back on a regular basis.
Women make 80 percent of health-care decisions for their families.1 The decision to settle on a long-term health-care provider, like a dentist, is based on many factors, from insurance acceptance to office location, reputation, and, naturally, the quality of the patient experience. Scott Stiffle, DDS, founded the Chicago-based dental practice Always There Dental Care in 1983. It’s a practice that doesn’t just have patients; it has fans who sometimes stop by to hang out at the office—even when they don’t have an appointment—because the atmosphere and people are so much fun. Is this typical? No. Do you hang out at your dentist’s office?
Stiffle, known to his patients as Dr. Scott, connects in a unique way—through music. Specifically, rock music. Walking into his practice is like entering a party in which everyone is glad you came. Dr. Stiffle and his business partner, Jeffrey Wojno, DDS, use music, art, humor, and even clothing to connect with patients, to help them overcome their fears and put them at ease. Rock songs play throughout the office at a low hum. Modern art and black-and-white photographs of musicians hang on the walls. The staff wears black T-shirts under their lab coats that feature playful, dental-meets-rock themes, such as “Plaque Sabbath,” “Gums & Roses,” and “For Those About to Floss, We Salute You.” The T-shirt slogans were started by Dr. Stiffle but now come from patients. There are always contests for new ones, and the patients seem to wear the T-shirts as much as the staff members do, because the practice gives them away. Longtime patients aspire to collect new ones as soon as they’re “issued.”
As people lie down in their dental chairs, television screens above them flash pictures of patients wearing their Always There Dental Care rock ’n’ roll T-shirts, smiling and waving at the camera. In one picture, a patient is wearing her T-shirt over her wedding dress. Another picture captures a patient wearing his T-shirt underwater, with a snorkel in his mouth. The photo caption is always the same: “We have the world’s best patients.” Dr. Stiffle takes patients’ requests for songs. He makes playlists. He sings along as he bounces from chair to chair. You can hear his laughter across the office.
The informal atmosphere is all part of a strategy designed to connect with patients and exorcise fear. “We cure people of anxiety,” says Dr. Stiffle. “Formality is a barrier, so we have a casual atmosphere to make patients feel good. We show you that you’re not alone. We honor your anxiety and the fact that you’re here in the office and made it through our door. Once you walk through it, we’re going to take that anxiety away. I’m going to own it, not you,” he says.
If you’re guessing Dr. Stiffle must be a millennial, he’s not. He’s in his sixties.
Dr. Stiffle and his team reinforce the connection by making patient education a priority. The philosophy that “a healthy body begins with a healthy mouth” is emblazoned throughout the office and constantly reinforced. The staff enthusiastically uses show-and-tell models of teeth to explain the why behind dental procedures. “It’s amazing how many people have been patients in other offices for years, and they don’t know anything about the why behind their treatments,” says Dr. Stiffle. “The consequences of not knowing the why are huge. Our view is that we’re not just saving teeth; we’re putting years on your life. This is why education is paramount in our office. We don’t tell our patients what to do; we empower them with information so that they can make sound choices for themselves. And owning that information allows the patient to distribute it to their friends and family outside the office. It’s our greatest marketing tool.”
Always There Dental Care’s five-star online reviews would be the envy of any small business. Behind the casual atmosphere is a practice that runs with the precision of a military operation. The staff is rigorously trained, appointments start and end on time, and the practice constantly invests in the latest technology, so much that new patients are routinely given tours of the firm’s latest acquisitions. The team has mastered the art of connecting with patients through both the physical environment (place) and staff interaction (people). Like true professionals, they do it so well they make it look easy. But if it were, there might be fewer people afraid of visiting the dentist.
MASTERING THE FUNDAMENTALS OF CONNECTION
Connecting with customers can be done any number of ways, and you should feel free to get creative, as Dr. Stiffle and his staff have done. But first, let’s address some straightforward techniques and strategies that can help build a strong foundation for connection.
Give a friendly welcome with eye contact every time.
I know what you’re thinking. Really? You have to spell this out? I wish I didn’t. It’s so obvious, but I challenge you to count how many times a week you receive a friendly welcome and eye contact as a customer, whether you’re at the grocery store, your local bank, or the reception desk at someone’s office. Friendly greetings and eye contact are common sense, but not common practice. So often, customers are simply ignored.
Women in particular associate eye contact with listening and respect. Eye contact doesn’t mean staring, of course. It’s more about acknowledgment. In a world with so much choice and competition, few people need to spend a single minute (or a single dollar) with any person or business that makes them feel unwelcome or unappreciated. When you’re working with couples, be sure to distribute your eye contact evenly.
From a retail standpoint, I’ve interviewed countless women who’ve told me that they’ve entered a store to buy something, only to leave empty-handed because they couldn’t find what they were looking for and no one acknowledged or helped them. They invariably say the same three words: “I gave up.”
Be wary of opening a conversation with price.
When you meet a customer and your very first question is, “How much do you want to spend?” it can box you both into a corner before you’ve had the opportunity to learn about her needs. Asking questions about needs is often the ideal starting point for conversations, and it allows you to position yourself as a resource and guide. Then the customer is likely to mention her comfort with price as you demonstrate options and ranges. It’s important to recognize that for women, the concept of value doesn’t necessarily mean the lowest-priced option; it means that whatever they bought was worth more than they paid for it. This is where service elements can play a huge role. As one research participant told me, “If something makes my life easier, I will pay for better service. For instance, if I was buying furniture, I’d ask, ‘Will you haul my old sofa away? Will you help set it up?’ If nothing is different, I’ll go for the lower price.”
Ask icebreaker questions that invite conversation.
If you’re in a retail environment and see a customer looking at a product, one way to open up a conversation is to say something like:
• “Unusual, isn’t it?”
• “Interesting, isn’t it?”
• “[Insert other adjective here], isn’t it?”
Even though these are technically “closed-ended” questions, they offer a simple way to start a dialogue and connect. They can feel less intrusive to the customer because the commentary is directed at an object and not the person.
Incorporate elements of hospitality where you can.
I recently walked into a small, independent shop in which I was asked, “Would you like a cappuccino?” It was a delicious surprise. Yet, when you consider the proliferation of single-serve coffee machines, it’s simple enough to offer. Even the shop owner’s use of the word “cappuccino” instead of “coffee” conjured up an image of luxury, and also subtly communicated, “I won’t be serving you coffee that’s been sitting in a carafe for three hours.” Most importantly, it set the tone for me to stay in the store and linger. There’s no doubt: refreshments, comfortable seating, and a warm welcome are simple ways to enhance the customer experience at all kinds of business and retail environments. It’s worked for human beings for thousands of years. What can you do in your own space?2
Don’t let your teammates sabotage your good impression.
For better or worse, your coworkers are a reflection of your company, your brand, and by extension, you. Ensure that everyone in your office or sales environment knows the importance of treating—or at a minimum, acknowledging—customers as you would, whether or not the employees are personally working with them. All staff are an important part of the cumulative impression being made, particularly for holistic buyers.
Double down on the experience for first-time customers.
Every first-time customer is like a small miracle: out of all the things they could be doing that day, out of all the places they could be, out of all the companies they could buy from, they’re buying from you. What can you do to make that first-time experience so satisfying they’ll want to return again and again? Marshal your resources, for one thing. Take a cue from businesses such as high-end restaurants, where managers often create visual cues to alert staff about first-timers. These cues might be a different-colored napkin at the table, a different centerpiece, or a special order code. The idea is to make sure that every team member recognizes the first-time customer and does their best to make a positive impression. Can you do something similar with your first-timers?
Don’t just welcome—welcome back.
If you work with returning customers, using the words, “Welcome back,” instead of simply, “Welcome,” is a powerful form of recognition. It’s human nature to want to be recognized. I once worked with a woman who went to her favorite restaurant every week for half-price wine night. She eventually stopped going because, despite making a weekly appearance for an entire year and loving the food, she was never recognized by a host or server. She couldn’t take it anymore. She told me, “What is the point of being a regular if no one recognizes you?”
“Nice to see you” is often better than “Nice to meet you.”
This is especially true if you think you may have met the person before. It’s a safer choice.
Clarify name pronunciations and spelling.
If your customer is Erika with a k or Jazmine with a z or has an unusual name, you’d better believe she will notice and be impressed when you spell it and pronounce it right. Some people feel embarrassed to ask customers how to pronounce their names, and then won’t use the customer’s name in conversation to avoid making a mistake. This is self-defeating. When you ask for clarification, you can simply say, “I want to make sure I’m pronouncing it properly.” Your customer will appreciate that you care about pronouncing it right. Clarifying name spelling is always important, even with names you feel you know well. For example, a name might be spelled Michelle or Michele. Spelling a name correctly sounds like a small detail, but if you don’t do it, women may think, If they can’t get my name right, what else are they going to get wrong? On the flip side, when you get it right, they’re likely to think, Wow, this person is really on top of things. For women, the little things are the big things. When you get the small details right, it signals that your customers can trust you with the bigger things—like their money.
Find an easy connection.
There’s a reason so many hotel front-desk staff wear name tags emblazoned with the person’s hometown or state. It’s an easy point of connection with customers. “You’re from Arizona? I love Arizona!” Wearing a name tag that advertises where you’re from may not be appropriate for most jobs, but the idea behind finding commonality is a good one. Typically, women are looking for what they have in common with someone. If you have an office, strategically place plenty of material your customers can connect with—memorabilia, pictures of nature or family, an interesting piece of art, and so on. I interviewed one young sales professional who doesn’t have kids, who reported that she keeps a photo of herself with her nieces and nephews on her desk because it gives a point of connection with customers who enjoy talking about their children and grandchildren. Keeping up with current events is another great way to make easy connections.
Find a connection through business profiles of your customers and prospects.
In B2B sales, there’s almost no excuse for not knowing something about an individual before you engage with her, if she has a business profile online. In addition to finding people and interests you may have in common, reading someone’s business posts can give you an opportunity to connect in a more natural way than might not otherwise be possible. “Even something as simple as, ‘I really enjoyed that article that you shared on LinkedIn; here are a few of the things I liked about it’ means that suddenly you’re in a conversation that has relevance to that person,” says Justin Shriber, vice president of marketing for LinkedIn Sales and Marketing Solutions. Business profiles typically contain information on someone’s education, career history, interests, and awards, giving you plenty of fodder with which to connect.
“On time” means a few minutes early.
No one ever intends to be late, but we’ve all heard that “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Being late by even one minute is noticeable to everyone now, since all our mobile phones are synchronized. In an ideal world, customers will never wait for you. Arriving early to appointments and meetings is one of the most important ways to demonstrate respect for someone’s time. The same rule applies for conference calls. Make it your practice—if you don’t already—to dial in five minutes early, and try to be the first on the line every time. Don’t trip out of the starting blocks by showing up after your customer. Another good rule of thumb is to reconfirm how much time your customer has at the start of a call or meeting, and check in with that customer—“How are we doing on time?”—as you near the end of the time she’s allotted. If you’ve sent someone a calendar invitation for a call from 10:00 to 10:30 a.m., it’s a good idea to verbalize at 10:25 that, out of respect for her time, you’ll begin wrapping up. If you need more time, ask if she’s willing and able to go longer.
I’ll never forget the time I mystery-shopped a mattress retailer, and the salesperson said to me, “How much time do you have to look around?” I replied that I had ten minutes. We started chatting about products and, before I knew it, she said, “According to my watch, you have three minutes left of your ten minutes. How are we doing on time?” I was blown away. I thought to myself, This woman respects my time more than I do! As a result, I willingly gave her more of it. Asking, “How are we doing on time?” is a technique that’s especially useful for phone calls and conference calls, where you can’t physically see your customer’s level of engagement.
Let customers know you’re looking forward to seeing them.
People like people who like them . . . so show it! Companies in the travel industry do an excellent job of sending customers messages in advance of trips that not only remind them about their departure and arrival dates, but tell them that they’re looking forward to seeing them and preparing for their arrival. It helps to drive an emotional connection, and it could be replicated any number of ways in other industries.
Ask discovery questions with purpose.
We all know that discovery questions are meant to uncover someone’s needs and qualify them. While it’s important to ask such questions, you don’t want your customer to feel as if she’s being interrogated. A way to avoid this is to make sure every question has a purpose, so you can tell your customer why you’re asking. Context is important to holistic buyers.
Focus on the future.
When you’re talking with a prospect or client, you may be firmly in the present—or, as they say in yoga class, in the moment—but she may be drifting off into the future as she listens to you. Even if she doesn’t mention it, she’s probably thinking about what buying your product will mean to her future state. Will it help her sleep better at night? Will it solve a nagging problem? Will it earn her more money, more prestige? Will she look like a hero for choosing it? Will it make her happier? Will it make the people close to her happier? Will it improve her quality of life? Save her money? She wants your product or service to do something positive for her future; otherwise, she wouldn’t be buying it.
So there she is, with her mind in the future and her body in the present, either physically in front of you or at the other end of a phone/email/text or chat screen. If she’s in the future, that’s where you want to be too. You can travel there by painting a picture of what her life would be like if she owned your product. Think about ways to use future tense in your conversations, to help your customers visualize ownership. We’ll dive more deeply into how to do this in the Lexus best practice on page 118.
In B2B settings, give your customer a chance to speak first.
In B2B sales meetings, potential vendors are often scheduled to pitch for long stretches of time: from thirty to sixty minutes, or even longer for complex deals. After introductions and before launching into your pitch, consider taking a moment to pause and ask the clients, “Is there anything you’d like to say before we begin?” This important question may elicit new information that affects the way you position your offerings.
Feel free to take notes.
When was the last time someone took notes when you started speaking? I bet it made an impression. I know it always does for me. While it may not be appropriate for every sales environment, taking notes shows your customer that you’re actively listening and that her words are important enough to write down. This simple act serves a dual purpose, because it also allows you to record all kinds of customer details. Later, your customer will be impressed that you “remember” these details. If you have access to a good customer-relationship management (CRM) system, leverage it to the fullest.
Find out your customer’s most important priority.
Asking your customer her most important priority can help make your conversations more efficient, and, if the customer is responsive, guide you on how to serve her best. For example, I speak at a lot of conferences, and my top question for meeting planners is always, “What would make my presentation a home run for you?” Their answers provide me with an important blueprint on how to meet—and hopefully exceed—their expectations.
If you look at a screen, it’s helpful if your customers can see it too.
It’s likely that most of your customers are carrying a phone on their person, perhaps visibly in front of you. Looking at screens is now a part of our common “language.” If you have a customer sit at your desk while you’re using a computer, try to angle the screen so she can see it too—if the information is appropriate for her to see—or risk having her turn on her own screen and focus on that instead of you.
Turn up your empathy.
The term mirroring is used frequently in sales-training programs, but I believe empathy is the more appropriate word to describe adapting your manner to the person or people with whom you’re interacting. It’s a matter of paying attention to your customer’s body language, eye contact, energy level, and words. When you do this, it makes it easier to approach your customer in a way that connects.
For example, if you’re working with a customer who has a low-key demeanor, don’t turn her off by overpowering her with personality. As an extroverted person, this is a constant challenge for me. But I’ve learned that if I can start at my customer’s energy level, I can slowly dial it up from there.
Whether you realize it or not, your place of business has an energy level too. One funeral director I spoke with told me she’s had to instruct her busy staff to never run through the funeral home as they move from one office to another, because running and looking stressed can be disruptive to grieving people who are seeking and expecting a peaceful atmosphere.
Consider the energy level of your sales environment. Customers pick up on it, and it can either help connect with them or alienate them.
Humor can diffuse stressful situations.
Depending on the business environment, light humor can also help a customer feel better about a negative experience. I interviewed a woman named Courtney, who works in the service department of a car dealership and routinely serves customers who’ve had car accidents that were their own fault. When she meets customers, they are often “devastated and embarrassed,” says Courtney. “I tell them, ‘Welcome to the club. You aren’t the first person this has happened to.’ Or I’ll use humor: ‘The curb attacked you!’ I’ll make them laugh, put them at ease, tell them it happens to the best of us. I try to take the tension down a notch.”
Identify “absent influencers.”
Sometimes the most important person in a sale is not the customer standing in front of you; it’s the person your customer is thinking about. For example, I once interviewed a woman who was in the market for a new bed for her guest room. Even though the bed would only be used a few times a year, she was willing to pay for a quality product that would meet the criteria of her most frequent visitor: her mother. Because her mother lived in another state, she did not accompany this woman on her shopping trips for a new bed. Her mother was an “absent influencer” on the sale. This scenario is fairly common, especially with women, since they buy on behalf of so many other people. It’s your job to discover who these absent influencers are, so you can address any concerns they may have and increase your chances of making the sale.
Use politeness strategies.
Etiquette is a primary aspect of female culture, and it’s something that women value in sales interactions. Women often notice when they don’t hear politeness from sales professionals. You may find a more responsive audience when you increase polite language, for example, asking questions such as “May I?” instead of “Can I?”
When communicating with customers, ask; don’t assume.
I once had an introductory lesson with a new tennis coach, and as part of my registration process, I had to fill out my phone number on a form—No big deal, I thought. After my first lesson—and before I had decided to commit to more of them—I was texted frequently by the coach about all kinds of things unrelated to his programs. I found these texts intrusive, because although I had given my phone number, he had never asked permission to text me and did not identify himself, leaving me to figure out who had sent the first few messages.
When you follow up with customers, be sure to ask for their preferred method of communication. Everyone is different: some people love email, some people still like phone calls, and others only want to receive texts. Always include your name on texts, until you know you’ve been added to someone’s contact list. There are many regulations governing text-message marketing. Make sure you’re aware of the ones that are relevant to you.
Approach “friending” with caution.
As much as you may enjoy meeting a new customer and feel as though you hit it off, think twice before friending someone with your personal social media accounts if she is a new customer or prospect, and you don’t know her well. It’s often better to stick to your professional accounts to stay connected, at least until you consider yourself to truly be friends. There are a few important reasons for this. First, you want to avoid putting your customer in an awkward position; for example, she may not want to “friend” you on Facebook and may view the request as presumptuous at best, unprofessional at worst. Then, even if she does friend you, there’s a chance she might form a different opinion of you based on your personal posting history. So unless you have truly become friends with a customer, approach personal social media connections with caution. Instead, use or create separate, professional accounts exclusively for your business, which you can invite your customers to follow. You can also maintain your connections on professional networks, such as LinkedIn, which are designed expressly for that purpose.
Don’t undermine your credibility by saying phrases such as “I promise” too early.
I once walked into a store in which the sales representative greeted me by saying, “We have financing options, but I promise not to bring up money until I’m sure you’re happy with your selection.” I found this conversation far too premature and a little jarring because it actually did bring up money. Phrases like, “I promise not to bring up money,” or “I promise not to sell you something you don’t want,” or “I promise not to overcharge you” can undermine your credibility, your pricing strategy, and the customer’s trust.
Ask customers what they hate.
If you work in an industry that offers a staggering number of product choices—like home décor or fashion accessories—it can be easier to curate options by asking your customers what styles and colors they hate instead of what they like. It’s an unexpected and energizing way for customers to connect with you and begin the process of elimination. This strategy also automatically puts you on their side, as you provide reassurance for their choices. This strategy can work in almost any kind of environment. For example, if you’re in B2B sales, asking your prospect what she didn’t like about her last service provider can be enlightening. It also might position you as a hero because, hey, at least you aren’t those people.
Don’t gossip about other customers.
This is just a reminder: don’t be tempted. It only reflects poorly on you, not them. If you do this, your customers will wonder what you say about them when they’re not in earshot.
Handle multiple customers with finesse.
The inability to handle multiple customers well is a common problem in both retail and busy office settings—anywhere with low staff-to-customer ratios. How many times have you stood in front of an employee who ignored you while you patiently waited for him or her to deal with someone else, without the person even looking up to acknowledge your existence? This kind of behavior can make customers’ blood boil. Most of the time, people will have patience as long as they’re briefly acknowledged with eye contact and an upheld index finger that suggests the person will be with them shortly, or a whispered, “I’ll be with you in just a moment.” Basic acknowledgment is the simple solution.
Be kid and companion friendly.
Your customer may be shopping with other people, such as children, who are unenthusiastic about being in your place of business. Make her life easier by welcoming and accommodating her companions, so she can complete her mission. Though this goal can be accomplished in many creative ways, one simple solution is to place chairs in your sales or retail environment.3 Since smartphones have eradicated boredom as we know it, sometimes all people need is a place to sit down and use their devices. This is smart business: few things can stop a woman’s shopping trip faster than bored or cranky companions.
Remember: clothes don’t make the customer.
Many women tell me they feel profiled based on their dress when they interact with salespeople—and not in a good way. There’s a famous scene in the 1990 movie Pretty Woman, starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, in which salespeople at a boutique on Beverly Hills’ Rodeo Drive refuse to help Roberts’s character because of the way she is dressed (they think she looks “cheap”). They don’t realize she has serious money to spend. Ultimately, her character drops loads of money at other stores, then goes back to the place where the salespeople ignored her. “Do you remember me?” she asks. “I was in here yesterday. You wouldn’t wait on me?” Then, lifting her huge shopping bags, she says, “Big mistake. Big. Huge!”4 Given that we live in an extravagantly casual society, where black yoga pants can be paired with a jacket and classified as formal attire (I’ve done it myself), it’s an understatement to say that judging your customers on what they’re wearing can result in missed opportunities. As they say in the movies: Big mistake. Big. Huge. I once interviewed a woman who felt that she was negatively profiled for her casual clothes. She said, “I wanted to scream, ‘I have two master’s degrees!’”
Use the boomerang strategy to avoid TMPI: too much personal information.
When you find great points of connection with customers, it’s important to avoid going down a rabbit hole of talking too much about your own experiences instead of your customers’. The reality is that, unless you’re already friends, customers often won’t be interested in your personal experiences unless they’re relevant to the product or service you’re selling. Many a sale has been killed through a salesperson sharing TMPI—too much personal information. Self-awareness is critical here. I’ve been on the receiving end of salespeople sharing experiences that range from their digestive problems to bunion pain, with the occasional let me show you my scar thrown in. These people were perfect strangers.
That, of course, is not you. But it’s easy to go down a rabbit hole of personal stories, even with benign topics. The smart strategy is to say just enough about yourself to establish something in common with the customer, or to emphasize why you are the most knowledgeable person for her to work with, and then not dwell on it. I recommend what I call the “boomerang strategy.” This is a technique in which you acknowledge what you and the customer have in common and then throw the conversation right back at the customer so she can keep telling her story. Here’s how it works:
Customer: I just got back from Disney World.
Sales professional: You’re kidding! I just went to Disney World a few months ago! Wasn’t it fantastic? I loved it. What was your favorite ride?
Customer: My kids really liked Space Mountain. In fact, the line was really long, but then we saw . . .
At this point, the topic has been safely boomeranged back to the customer. Remember this strategy throughout the course of customer conversations, and keep throwing that boomerang right back. You will be viewed as a great conversationalist.
An important exception to this rule is when you have personal experience with the product or service she’s interested in. In these situations, share your experiences and firsthand perspective. It’s a great way to make a connection.
Leverage team selling for awkward situations.
Through no fault of our own, we may often find ourselves working with a customer with whom we just don’t connect. In these situations, don’t hesitate to bring in a teammate to help you work with the customer to make the experience better for everyone.
Avoid “friendly fire.”
Don’t talk badly about your coworkers, your management, or your job. From the customers’ perspective, it reflects poorly on you and can undermine your credibility.
BEST PRACTICE
Innovative Office Solutions
Creating an Emotional Connection in a Commoditized Business
Selling both paper clips and high-level business strategy to the same clients is a triumph of customer connection. It’s all in a day’s work for Jennifer Smith, CEO of Innovative Office Solutions, the largest women-owned, independent business-products dealer in the country. Headquartered in Minnesota, this $130 million office supply and furniture company is thriving in a famously price-driven, commoditized business that has long served women as buyers and decision makers. The company’s guiding principle is “Relationships Matter,” and its customer retention rate is in the 90 percent range. How it’s achieved this rate is instructive for anyone looking to deepen his or her connections with customers.
Innovative sells every kind of product you would ever need for an office space, from the bathroom soap to the desks. The office products business has been greatly impacted by the digital world. “People are using less paper, file folders, filing cabinets, staplers, and toner,” says Smith. “We’ve had to reinvent ourselves to stay relevant.” Finding new avenues for growth and earning the loyalty of customers who could easily buy from big-box competitors has been a priority. The company has succeeded by implementing strategies centered on customer connection. Let’s look at three of them.
1. Offering solutions, not just products. The most foundational strategy for Innovative was expanding the company’s offerings beyond transactional products, such as pens and toilet paper, into more emotionally engaging territory, like corporate culture consulting and workspace design. “Our industry is totally commoditized, and we knew we had to take it to the next level by offering solutions and not just products,” says Smith. Innovative added office furniture, interior design, and corporate branding capabilities, which opened the door for its sales team to talk with customers on topics such as corporate culture and talent recruitment. When the conversations expanded, so did the customers. Innovative moved from selling primarily to administrative staff to C-suite executives, because a company’s office environment and culture are important aspects in the war for talent. “When you can help a company bring their corporate culture to life, that takes the customer relationship to a different level,” says Smith. Innovative’s ability to help clients with corporate-culture strategy is remarkable when you consider the firm also sells toilet paper to those very same customers.
2. Creating relationship-management teams. “The number one pain point for customers in our industry is reaching out to call centers and talking to someone who doesn’t know them,” says Smith, “and then dealing with a different person for every product group they buy.” To solve this pain point, Innovative created relationship-management teams, called studios, that are dedicated to each customer and provide support across product categories. “Not only does this make things easier for our customers, it allows us to sell on the basis of simplifying their supply chain and reducing their soft costs, because they can move from having seven different vendors to just one.”
3. Empowering employees to solve customer issues. A third strategy was to implement a program that enables every person at the company to fix a customer problem on the spot, called “Make It Right.” “Whether it’s a driver or an accounting person, if a customer is not happy, every employee is empowered to fix a situation immediately to make it right, without waiting for approval from someone else.” The company holds monthly internal events in which everyone who’s had a “Make It Right” moment shares their story to help their colleagues prevent future mistakes. “In the beginning, no one wanted to admit they’d done something wrong,” says Smith. “It took us a long time to create a culture in which people look at the experience through a different lens, in terms of owning the customer relationship, doing whatever they need to do to make things right, and then paying it forward by talking about it in front of their colleagues. That’s where our own corporate culture comes in. If your whole team is on the same page and they know what their purpose is and how they contribute, your customers can sense it and they think, I want to work with this company.”
Innovative’s success shows the power of staying laser-focused on customer connection. Smith believes the company’s strong customer relationships will sustain them through future disruptions. “Now, even office furniture is commoditizing, so it all comes back to having amazing relationships with your clients so that they trust you and want to buy anything that you come out with.”
KEY TAKEAWAYS
• There is no end to the creativity you can use to deepen your customer connections. Dr. Stiffle uses rock ’n’ roll, patient education, and an informal atmosphere, which are reflections of his personality and interests. Innovative Office Solutions expanded its product offerings with emotionally engaging solutions like corporate-culture strategy.
• Connecting with women buyers at an interpersonal level means finding common ground, avoiding outdated stereotypes, and demonstrating that you’re actively listening through words and eye contact.
ACTIVATING YOUR INSIGHTS
• Imagine that someone felt so strongly connected to your business that she wanted to get a tattoo of your logo. (Work with me here—it’s a brainstorm! And don’t forget, people already do this with brands such as Harley-Davidson and Nike.) What are the kinds of things you could do to generate that kind of loyalty and connection? Create a list of ideas, and pick the top one or two to execute.
• What are the three top ways that you connect with customers currently? How can you expand on these efforts to create even deeper connections?