Lunar Living is a way of moving through the world in alignment with the moon cycles. It’s being aware of what phase the moon is in and planning accordingly, based on the effect it has on you personally. Some people might ask, “Why work with the moon?” My first reaction to this is: Why not? These roughly month-long cycles are an ideal timeframe for checking in with yourself, if nothing else. Using this orb in the sky to help you connect to the bigger picture and the deeper, more subconscious parts of yourself can be kept as simple or as meaningful as you’d like. It can be a daily visual reminder to check in with yourself or you can use it as a guide for your transformation and evolution. You get to decide what it means to you.
For example, the Waning Moon, which comes right before a new cycle and therefore a New Moon, is often a time when we feel more introverted, internal, and quiet and may prefer some time to ourselves to rest. If we know this in advance, we can plan to stay in on the night or two leading up to the New Moon. We can use that time to journal, cook ourselves a meal, or take an Epsom-salt-heavy bath.
Lunar living doesn’t have to look like howling at or dancing naked under the Full Moon (but if you’re called to that, DO IT!)—it just means that you’re aware of the impact the moon can have and you look to it to help you check in with yourself and meet your needs.
The subconscious is what drives us. It’s what we feel on a deep level, but we rarely pay it the attention it deserves, which means we are on autopilot most of the time. The moon represents our subconscious, intuition, moods, and inner knowing. Choosing to work with the moon puts us more in touch with these intangible, fluid parts of ourselves and in a position to work with them. When we dig into the subconscious, we have the power to shift the way we think and operate in everyday life.
If you choose to use the moon as a guide for self-care and taking action, you will begin to see changes in your life. By thinking about what you want and using the cycle to call it in, take steps forward, rest, call out what’s not serving you, and (most importantly) work with the deepest parts of yourself, you’ll start to see your own personal evolution taking hold.
The Yin and Yang of the cycle
There is a push and pull to the moon’s energy, much like the tides it controls. We can use the moon phases to create a balance of the Yin (feminine, receiving) energy and the Yang (masculine, doing) energy (see page 15). Ezzie Spencer’s book Lunar Abundance covers this concept in depth, and I highly recommend you read it if working with the moon interests you.
Most of us tend to be Yang or masculine dominant. This has nothing to do with gender, but with the action-oriented, doing/productivity/hustle-focused nature of working and living in our modern world. Even leisure activities and relaxing need to be captured and captioned for Instagram—it feels like we can no longer just be and enjoy.
Working with the moon as our guide helps us establish a rhythm of resting, surrendering, and receiving in tandem with doing, seeking, and making. Each of the eight phases alternate between Yin and Yang, creating this push-pull, action-rest rhythm.
Accessing your intuition
We need quiet time, even just a few moments, to come back to ourselves and let the quiet voice of intuition speak to us. The chatter of the mind can be so loud and constant that any way we can find a slice of silence is restorative. The moon can provide this quiet time, whether you’re gazing up at it on a clear night or feeling into that particular phase.
The cycles
The moon moves through eight main phases in a cycle, which is roughly 29 days long, with each phase lasting three-and-a-half days. Often, you’ll see these phases reduced to four on calendars, but the eight really capture the intricacies of the cycle. That being said, eight is a lot, so if you can only handle checking in on the New and Full Moons, that’s great too.
NEW MOON
The start of a new cycle. This is the time when the moon is barely visible in the sky. It’s a time of beginnings, fresh starts, and new energy.
WAXING CRESCENT
The moon has grown into a pretty crescent at this time and the energy for supporting your intention is building.
FIRST QUARTER MOON
We’re halfway to the Full Moon now and gaining momentum with our intention.
The moon is almost full in the sky—energy is heightened and there is a palpable excitement.
FULL MOON
The moon is at its most brilliant and attention-grabbing at this time. You might feel the same—wanting to get out there and socialize, connect, or share what’s in your heart and mind. You could also feel more emotional or intense than usual. This is an expansive time—whatever it makes you feel, fully show up for it.
WANING GIBBOUS
The moon is slowly beginning to decrease from its full size. You might feel emotional after the high of the Full Moon or the pull to recharge.
LAST QUARTER
We’re at that half-moon point again—paring back toward the new moon with less of the moon visible in the sky. You may start to see which patterns or habits are serving you and which aren’t.
WANING MOON OR BALSAMIC MOON
The moon is back to a crescent form again, preparing for a new cycle, but still finishing out the current one. This period of time covers the Dark Moon in the day or so before the New Moon, which can be a particularly low-energy, introspective time.
Check the astrology of each moon
One of the most interesting things I’ve found in working with the moon is incorporating the astrology of each moon. The moon moves through every sign of the zodiac in one cycle, spending approximately two-and-a-half days in each sign.
Not only can the astrology sign of a New Moon or Full Moon serve as a guide if you’re having trouble landing on an intention, but it can provide an interesting lens to look at the energies at play. A Leo Full Moon has a very different vibe to a Pisces Full Moon, which keeps things exciting and gives the year a certain cadence to it. For your individual moon sign, check out Chapter 5.
Why is getting your period sometimes called your moon cycle?
Some people call their period their moon cycle. If you think of the New Moon as the beginning of your cycle, followed by the energy build up of the follicular phase, peaking at the Full Moon or ovulation (when you’re at your most fertile), then the gradual shedding of the Waning Moon, into the low-energy time of the Dark Moon, just before or at the start of your period, when the cycle begins again (see chart on pages 20–21). Whether you’re a menstruating woman or not, the moon can help you go deeper into the natural rhythms within yourself.
JUMP IN: How to start working with the moon
A great way to start using the moon to check in with yourself and your needs is to create a simple ritual.
1. Look: Start checking the moon at night. Notice what it looks like and look up the phase that it’s currently in. You can add this to your online calendar or use apps for a quick reference.
2. Feel: Pay attention to the ebb and flow of how you feel during the moon cycle. Jot down a few words on a planner or calendar, or in a journal, about how you feel.
3. Set an intention: At the New Moon or in the days after, sit down in a quiet spot and think about what you’d like more of in your life. Create a simple, easy-to-remember intention for the cycle ahead. Don’t worry if you don’t hit the New Moon exactly—you can set an intention at any point in the cycle as needed.
4. Check in: Keep checking in on your intention and yourself throughout the cycle—once a week is great. How can you take action on your intention and how can you make room for it in your life?
5. Make it special: Now that you’re getting into the flow of it, build your own ritual around whatever phase you feel most called to (see page 63). I keep a notebook with my New Moon intentions and check in with it at the Full Moon. At the Dark Moon, I take an extra salty cleansing bath with lavender essential oil.
Simple Actions for Each Moon Cycle
Before we get to the right ritual for you (see page 63), let’s look at how to best use each moon phase and the simple actions you can take at each one.
NEW MOON
Use it for: Setting intentions and calling something in for the cycle/month ahead. The intention that you choose will be your main focus throughout the rest of the phases. No pressure though! You can adjust and edit that intention—in fact, the moon encourages that.
SIMPLE ACTION: TURN INWARD
Take some time to ground yourself and get into your body. Try focusing on your breathing, doing gentle movement like stretching or dancing, or soaking in the bath. Ask yourself what you most need and take enough time and space to listen. Take note of the very first thing you hear—it will likely be something simple.
WAXING CRESCENT
Use it for: Feeling into your intention. Relax and see how your intention feels in your life right now.
SIMPLE ACTION: GIVE YOURSELF SPACE
I’m talking mental space. Make time for a little meditation at this time and allow yourself to just be without actively pursuing your intention. You can also give yourself physical space by getting into nature and doing a walking meditation. While you’re walking, focus on your body—your feet, your legs, your lungs—before moving on to the environment around you. Just notice what you see and feel.
FIRST QUARTER MOON
Use it for: Following that momentum you’re feeling. During this time you may want to reach out and connect with someone who might need your help or just benefit from a kind word.
SIMPLE ACTION: TAKE A BABY STEP
Take an action out in the world that’s reflective of your intention. For example, if you’re trying to call more love into your life, text a friend to express what you love about her. Or more abundance? Make a donation to cause that you really care about, or volunteer your time.
WAXING GIBBOUS
Use it for: Looking back on the time that’s passed since the New Moon and reflecting on how you’re feeling about it.
SIMPLE ACTION: TAKE NOTE
Take the next few days to observe how you’re feeling and how it might line up (or not) with your intention. Sum up your feelings in a few words and put them in your calendar, planner, or journal.
FULL MOON
Use it for: Celebrating the cycle so far, everything that you’ve worked on, and everything you’re releasing. A celebration can be something small like an intentional meal or a gathering with friends.
SIMPLE ACTION: RELEASE
Let out any pent-up energy or emotions by sharing your experiences with others—perhaps in person with story medicine (see page 64). You can also dance, do breathwork (see page 113), take a salt bath, or cry. Crying in a salt bath is major release medicine.
WANING GIBBOUS
Use it for: Observe what’s naturally shifting in your life. How does it feel to release and let go a little bit? It’s okay to grieve whatever it is you released.
SIMPLE ACTION: RECHARGE
Do what you’ve gotta do to take good care of yourself. Sleep is the biggest and best thing you can do for recharging your mind and body—let yourself get into bed early or don’t set your alarm for the following morning. Sleep as much as you need or can without guilt. If you have trouble sleeping, give CBD a whirl (see page 100) or make a calming infusion (see pages 106–107).
LAST QUARTER MOON
Use it for: Examining your boundaries. How are you shedding the things you don’t need? What does that look like for you? Do you need to put a new system in place to help yourself?
SIMPLE ACTION: SAY NO
If there’s an obligation, something, or someone that you keep saying yes to but your heart’s not in it, try saying no. It can just be this one time or going forward. Say no to an invitation that feels “meh” or an opportunity that just doesn’t sit right with you. Flex your no muscle.
WANING MOON OR BALSAMIC MOON
Use it for: Feeling your feelings. I often feel physically drained around this time. Knowing this helps me be kinder to myself and anticipate the need for more gentleness.
SIMPLE ACTION: REFLECT WITH GRATITUDE
Spend some time with yourself to consider the highs and lows of this past cycle and do a little gratitude practice. Make a list in a journal or a voice memo on your phone of all the things you’re grateful for. Finally, ask yourself what you need—it’s often the simplest things like water, a rest on the couch, or a big baked sweet potato—and give it to yourself.
Creating the right ritual for you: The New Moon Tune-In
Tuning in is about temporarily clearing away distractions and bringing your focus inward. This ritual can take as little as 10 minutes or as long as an hour, and be as simple or elaborate as you like—whatever works best for you.
1. Put your phone on airplane mode or turn it off.
2. Find a space where you feel comfy and cozy and you won’t be disturbed.
3. Take a few deep breaths before you begin.
4. Have something to write with (I think writing things down with a pen and paper solidifies magic.)
A high-vibe New Moon ceremony
The following are suggestions only. Ultimately, do what feels good to you. Don’t worry about feeling silly or weird. If a part of you wants to do it, give it a try.
Pick a playlist of songs: Choose songs that set the right mood. Get classy with some Mozart or channel your sexiness with some vintage French music.
Cleanse your space: Burn Palo Santo or rosemary (see page 44 for more smoke-cleansing ideas.)
Get your mood lighting on: Candles, salt lamps, and twinkle lights are all encouraged.
Involve essential oils: Pick a scent for the mood you’re looking to evoke—some suggestions are lavender for peaceful calm, sweet orange for positivity, rosemary for focus, rose for a little extra love.
Grab your Tarot deck: If you’re stumped about what you really need to call in at the moment, you can always consult the deck (see Chapter 6).
Move your body: Take a walk, dance, or do yoga to get into your body and de-clutter your mind.
Run a bath: Add some Epsom salts.
Make a special tonic: Choose any tonic, tea, or elixir that feels delicious and nourishing to you.
HOW TO DO IT
Prepare your space with your chosen ambiance enhancers and do your favorite body-relaxing practice. Sit down and take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself what you’d like to invite in or how you’d like to feel. Note the first responses you get. Focus on an intention rather than a goal. Goals are great and can work in tandem with intentions, but intentions focus more on the mental, emotional, and spiritual, rather than the physical. State your intention in the present tense out loud and write it down. End by grounding yourself with a meal or drink and slowly enjoy it. Some examples of intentions might be, I intend to…
Slow down
Find joy in the everyday
Follow my intuitive hits
Go on an adventure once a week
Be more intentional with my time
Soften
Move only in ways that feel good
Meditate, dance, or cook daily
Express love
Do what feels cozy
The Full Moon check-in and release
Within two short weeks of the New Moon, it will be time to check in at the Full Moon, get serious about what’s not working, and release it. Some questions you can ask yourself:
What’s holding me back from fully stepping into my intention?
What feels stuck?
What feels like a roadblock?
What insecurity is rearing its head?
WRITE AND RELEASE
Think about these questions seriously—journaling always helps here, and letting yourself write it out can help the wise voice of the intuition flow more easily.
And the releasing? This is the fun part. Burning is popular for its visceral, finite destruction of a scrap of paper. Write out what you’re releasing on a paper, read those things out loud, and throw it into a flame. I’ve done this in a firepit and with a candle over my kitchen sink—both work! You can also rip it up and flush it down the toilet or dissolve it in water. You can then physically move the energy out of your body by dancing or shouting—or both. Turn a song up loud that captures the moment and go for it. Seriously go wild.
STORY MEDICINE
Coming together as a community to be seen and heard is a potent ways of releasing. Radical Awakenings, an online community run by Alexandra Roxo, encourages local covens to get together at the Full Moon for Story Medicine. This is about holding a safe space for others, in which anyone can share a story and/or what they are releasing. There’s something alchemical about in-person gatherings that can heighten the magic of letting our thoughts, emotions, and words leave our bodies.
HOSTING A STORY MEDICINE CIRCLE
Gather your witches together: This can be one or two trusted friends or open it up to others via social media.
Pick a theme: Center the stories around the theme.
Let one person talk at a time: Set a time limit per person and appoint someone to keep time. Let everyone talk, if possible. When it’s your turn, open yourself up to the support of others.”
Don’t allow responses: No one is to respond to the story with words, sounds, or nodding. Everyone should listen neutrally without judgment.
Acknowledge the speaker: When they’re finished, say thank you, smile, or place a hand on your heart.
Afterward: Listen to music and enjoy something grounding to eat.
Tarot Reflections
Card 1: How can the current moon phase help me?
Card 2: What was the lesson of the last moon cycle?
Card 3: Where can I focus my intention at this time?
See page 11 for guidance.
I love the idea of gathering witches together on the Full Moon. The Full Moon is a celebration time, which to me calls for pasta. Pasta is great base for almost all seasonal produce, so check what’s in peak season at each Full Moon and go from there. Think fresh or slow-roasted tomatoes and zucchini/courgettes in summer, squash and broccoli in the fall, Brussels sprouts and kale in the winter, and greens, asparagus, and peas in the spring.
I love mixing up the type of pasta I use, too. There are so many great gluten-free and alternative flour pastas out there—some of my favorites are chickpea, brown rice, black rice, spelt (contains gluten), and quinoa pasta.
Roasted Cauliflower Pasta
This cauliflower pasta is a great template and you can swap in other roasted veggies in its place. Serve with a simple shaved fennel or arugula/rocket salad to make it a full dinner.
Serves 4
1 large head of cauliflower, cut into bite-sized florets
freshly squeezed juice of ½ lemon, divided
1lb/450g dried pasta shape of your choice (I love cavatelli or shells)
¼ cup/60ml olive oil, plus extra for roasting the cauliflower
3 garlic cloves, finely chopped
½ teaspoon red pepper/chilli flakes
½ cup/35g grated Parmesan, plus extra to serve
fresh flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped
½ cup/50g walnuts, toasted and roughly chopped
salt and freshly ground black pepper
Preheat the oven to 400°F/200°C/Gas 6.
Place the cauliflower florets in a bowl and toss with a generous drizzle of olive oil and sprinkle of salt, then spread out on a baking tray. Bake in the preheated oven for 30–35 minutes until golden brown. Remove from the oven and spritz with half the lemon juice, tossing to coat. Set aside (this step can be done ahead if you wish).
Put a big pot of water on to boil for the pasta. Once the water is boiling, add a big dose of salt followed by the pasta and cook for a minute or two short of the package instructions—usually about 7–10 minutes, depending on the pasta (you want it to be al dente—with a little bite to it, not too mushy).
Meanwhile, heat the olive oil in a large skillet/frying pan (preferably one with high sides) over a medium-low heat. Add the garlic and cook, stirring, for 1 minute, then add the red pepper/chilli flakes and set aside.
Once the pasta is cooked, drain it, reserving a cup of pasta water, and transfer back into the pasta pot. Add the garlic-chilli oil. Stir in the cauliflower, followed by the Parmesan, a pinch of salt, and some freshly ground pepper. Add the rest of the lemon juice and a splash or two of pasta water (a few tablespoons at a time, adding more as needed) and stir—this is so the pasta doesn’t get too gluey with the melted Parmesan.
Top with fresh parsley and toasted walnuts and serve in bowls with additional cracked black pepper and Parmesan.
