Manifesting & Honoring Your Shadow
We all have the power to manifest things. I’ve manifested a few major things in my life—a partner, a cookbook deal, a job. Even though I wasn’t consciously manifesting at the time, the ways each of these came into my life were similar.
It started with seeing what I wanted reflected back to me through acquaintances or media. Seeing what was possible gave me both clarity and bolstered my faith that I could have what I wanted. Following intuitive hits was essential to my process, too. Little urges to go places, research things, cut ties with people, and reach out to others, all led me to the right places to receive the things I most wanted. Everyone is able to manifest, we even do it unintentionally or haphazardly, but if we approach it consciously, we can consistently create magic in our lives.
Manifestation is a simple energetic equation, but it can get tripped up when we don’t feel deserving of what we want—we only get what we believe we deserve. Feeling unworthy or undeserving usually comes from a deeply rooted shadow. Once we’re able to identify and accept our shadow (the parts of ourselves that we try to hide from others), it can actually help us make big things happen.
The idea of shadow and working with it comes from the psycho-analyst Carl Jung, but there are many ways you can do it and interpret it. I’ve included manifestation and shadow work in the same chapter because I’ve found that you become far more powerful when you combine the two.
Manifestation is the process of identifying what you want and getting it through a combination of believing that you can have what you’re dreaming of, taking action, and showing up as your whole self.
The Law of Attraction
The Law of Attraction (LoA) is a popular principle of manifestation. The general idea is whatever we focus on becomes our reality. If you feel good, good things will come to you. And if you feel bad or view life through a negative lens, you’ll continue in a pattern that doesn’t serve you. This is the basis of the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne.
The LoA emphasizes the importance of being in a high-vibe state. Followers of Esther and Jerry Hicks/Abraham call this The Vortex. One must be in The Vortex, or feel as if they already have all they want, to call in all the amazing things that they’re trying to manifest. And while it’s incredibly important to do things every day that make us feel good and put us in a positive and empowered state of mind, I think the Law of Attraction falls short in that it makes us afraid to feel our whole range of feelings and emotions—negative or “bad” ones included.
The LoA has the potential to freak us out into worrying that our negative thoughts will make bad things happen. But we need to allow ourselves to fully feel our emotions to move through them and move on. In fact, negative emotions and feelings can actually help us realize where we might be holding ourselves back.
The LoA does work, but it’s essential that we first believe we’re worthy of the things we want. Then we can take actions from a place of self-love, not surface-level ego.
Checking your ego is important. If you’re trying to manifest for external approval, that’s ego desperation. But if you feel intuitively called to manifest something because it will support your sense of security, self-care practice, or self-worth, you’re on the right track. You can still manifest the great apartment, dream job, or beautiful wardrobe, but double-check that your motivation is coming from your authentic core self.
Worth-based manifestation
The sad truth is that a lot of us don’t feel a deep sense of self-worth or deserving, which is why manifestation remains elusive. We are all born completely worthy beings and following our hearts’ desires is what we’re meant to do. But society, family dynamics, inherited beliefs, media, teachers, and peers all contribute to distorting our sense of deserving. The process of manifesting and doing shadow work can help shed light on these distortions and restore our core-level sense of worth.
The work of Lacy Phillips, through her website, To Be Magnetic (see page 140) guides you through this worth work with self-hypnosis and journaling tools. Her process is straightforward but deep and combines psychology and neuroscience with intuition and inner work around worthiness and belief.
I think of manifestation as an equation: Intention + Self-worth + Acting on intuition + Trust = Manifestation. It seems simple, but consciously manifesting involves putting in the energetic and emotional work to make space for what you want in your life. Here are some helpful steps:
Getting clear on what you want. Get specific (seriously, make a list) and get real—why do you want it?
Believing that you’re worthy of what you want
Embracing your shadows
Taking aligned action by following your intuition
Saying no to things that aren’t a “hell, yes” and don’t make you feel good
Trusting yourself, your power, and the universe
Enjoying the present moment
Being able to be present is a great way of stepping into and owning your power. Presence and enjoyment create a feeling of self-worth and confidence that can help you generate even more of what you want. Manifestation is a continual, non-linear process that we can always be refining, learning from, and making our own.
Finding Freedom Through the Shadow
To feel worthy, we first need to embrace our whole, core self. Getting closer to our core self requires us to look at the parts of ourselves that we’re ashamed of, embarrassed by, or have completely denied. This is the shadow. Shadow prevents us from feeling worthy and getting what we want because we believe that these parts of ourselves are so terrible that we’ll be rejected if we reveal them.
When we embrace our shadow, we become a more authentic version of ourselves because we’re no longer trying to push away or ignore aspects of our whole self. When we’re able to own all parts of ourselves, even the things we’ve deemed bad, we feel worthy because we’re no longer at the mercy of what we’re hiding. It’s a form of freedom.
One of the reasons witches are associated with darkness is because they’re willing to face the shadows of themselves to step into their power. Living a more magical life requires us to change the way we’ve always done things, including the small ways we hide every day. It’s not about becoming the shadow, but being okay with it. Shadow work is a way of stripping away conditioning and coming back to our core self. The universe will reward us for that, because that’s what we’re here to do—be our core self and share our unique powers and gifts with the world.
Identifying your shadow
Being your most authentic self sounds flippant or like something you read on a throw-away Instagram quote, until you start doing shadow work. Working with your shadow isn’t easy or fun a lot of the time, but it’s crucial to coming back to the core self and healing triggers in order to thrive.
Finding where our shadow lives is easy once we get the hang of it. It shows up in all the ways we feel guilt or shame. It’s the things we don’t admit to people or try to hide from others because we feel like they won’t accept us if we show these parts of ourselves.
Observe yourself as you go through your day and notice what makes you feel ashamed, upset, annoyed, or embarrassed or when you feel like you need something external to cope—like social media, alcohol, or shopping.
LOOSENING THE GRIP
Once we identify our shadow aspects, we need to take the sting out of them. We can do this by meditating, tapping (see page 114), or through self-hypnosis. In her work, Lacy Phillips uses what she calls Deep Imaginings, which are guided meditations or hypnosis sessions (see resources, page 140).
All of these tools seek to bring us to a state of relaxation, from where we can access the subconscious. The goal when we’re working with the subconscious is to pinpoint where/when in our lives we may have suppressed our shadows and then help ourselves heal from them.
Because so many of these shadows are formed in early childhood, this can be deep and murky territory. But it’s also ripe for inner child work. I often picture my present self comforting a child version of me and giving her what she needs in that moment. It sounds hokey, but this is often the healing that we crave and don’t readily give ourselves.
Accepting and even loving our shadowy bits is where we really start to gain power. Think about the most captivating, funny, brilliant, magnetic people you know—I’ll bet they openly own their flaws with grace, humor, and honesty.
Owning your sh*t = embracing your shadow. And the more you do it, the more you can start to manifest. There are a few ways you can embrace and own your shadow:
Casually mention it in conversation.
Open up about it to someone close to you.
Do a visualization where this shadow is personified and you physically embrace it or have it become a part of you in a way that feels healing and loving.
Moving through shadow blocks
Your shadow will always find new ways to pop up in your life, which can impede your manifestation. Don’t let your shadow block you from creating the life you want, instead find ways to heal your relationship to it. Once you’ve been triggered by part of your shadow or a deeply rooted belief, you can choose to work with it instead of letting it block you from manifesting. The below techniques can help you work through a sticky shadow issue and release it.
TAPPING OR EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)
Tapping works with the meridian points of the body (like in acupressure or acupuncture) and combines tapping on specific points while saying statements out loud that identify the issue you’re dealing with, why you’re having problems with it, and what you’d like to change. YouTube is a great resource to learn the basics. For more information on this technique see page 114.
HYPNOSIS OR VISUALIZATION
This is a guided meditation in which you go into a relaxed state with the purpose of diving into the subconscious to help you access the patterns that are holding you back. You can go on a dreamlike journey suited to your purpose (in this case, identifying your block and giving yourself the medicine you need to heal it).
JOURNALING
If you can let your thoughts flow without judgment, the act of taking pen to paper can be healing for both unlocking something you may have closed off and finding a way forward.
BREATHWORK
Focused breathing that works with the spiritual, emotional, and physical body. It hits on many of the energy centers and can help move stagnant energy, often bringing emotions, inherited beliefs, and pain up and out. For more information on this technique see page 113.
Know that you have the power to change. Just knowing that you hold this capability can help you approach those triggers that are keeping you small and reductive with confidence and curiosity.
Showing up as your core self in every situation is the ultimate display of healthy self-worth. It feels like a resounding, “I’m just going to do me.” It’s feeling into that freedom of being yourself and not caring what others think of it. No one is perfect at this, but our work is to continually practice coming into alignment with our core self.
Self-worth practices
Feeling into and bolstering our self-worth takes dedication and practice, especially because our brains are wired to make us doubt the greatness that is our core self. Here are a few ways to give that self-worth an extra boost. Do these in tandem with shadow work for best manifesting results.
GRATITUDE PRACTICE
Can you focus on what you have at the moment instead of looking to get more? Gratitude practice is about being present with what is and appreciating it. Having gratitude for things you’ve already cultivated in your life can give you real, tangible examples of your power and worth.
Try to record your gratitudes daily or weekly for the best results. List 5 or 10 things, or set a timer for 5 minutes and get out as much as you can. You can do it by journaling them (see page 131), making voice memos for yourself or sending them to a friend, or sending them in a text message to a friend.
CARING FOR YOURSELF
Self-care is a reflection of self-worth. Set aside some time each day or a couple of times a week to do something for yourself that feels good. This doesn’t have to be anything fancy or elaborate, as long as it feels restorative. This can look like napping, cooking for yourself, watching a movie on the couch, alone time, a walk outside, listening to a podcast, meditating, or buying yourself tea and chocolate.
Write out a self-care menu of all the things that make you feel good. Anything that makes you feel warm and cozy, relaxed, restored, energized, or supported—put it all down on a list that you can refer to when you’re feeling a little low or lacking energy. Then commit to doing one of these things regularly. By following through on caring for yourself, you communicate your worth to yourself and the universe.
CLEARING
We need to make space for new things to come into our lives. If it’s not lighting you up, start saying no. You don’t have to take on projects you hate, deal with people who make you feel bad, or keep doing something just because you’re scared that something better won’t come along. Start believing in the power of saying no to clear away things that don’t feel good to you. Clearing can mean physically clearing clutter that’s dragging you down, or changing the way you approach something—for example, deciding to only check your inbox once a day. It can also bring up bigger things like reassessing your job or relationships and setting up boundaries.
Look at each area of your life and think about what feels good and what feels less than good, and begin making adjustments by saying no or outsourcing what you can. Start small and begin to see the changes that take hold.
Alignment is when you’re moving through the world with your core self leading the way. When you do this, you’re able to follow your intuition and get into a state of flow. Alignment is kind of like all the parts working together—knowing your worth, embracing your whole self, feeling good, and having clarity. If we can operate from a place of alignment, we’re able to manifest more easily.
Whether you’re at your desk working or visiting a new place, being in this aligned flow has a few tell-tale signs:
1. You feel good. You’re energized, calm, and positive.
2. Things come naturally. Whether it’s what to write, who to reach out to, where to go, or what to do next, there is a secure feeling of just knowing and doing it. Nothing feels forced, it just feels right.
3. More good things flow. Flow creates more flow and if you’re acting in alignment, things will keep coming in—including what you’re manifesting.
Not every day will or can feel like a magical aligned experience, and often things rock us out of that feeling of flow—a challenging commute, your bank balance, other people’s bad energy. It’s important not to let these things get you down too much (easier said than done, I know) and try to come back to that core part of yourself. One thing that I find helpful to remember is that you can also choose to be in alignment, which is really where your power lies.
It can often feel like alignment is elusive and the conditions must be just right in order to get into that zone. But that’s not true, sometimes you just need to change your energy and your alignment will shift.
Try any of the following:
Moving for 5 minutes. Dancing is a great way to do this. So is orgasming, doing hip circles, jumping up and down, doing a downward dog, or taking a walk around the block.
Sitting, breathing, and meditating with the intention of coming back to your core self.
Putting on some music or changing the music that’s playing.
Clearing out all distractions and setting a timer for 30 minutes to focus on one task. Setting a small time frame takes the pressure off.
Gratitude practice (see page 132).
Going somewhere new. Work from a cafe instead of at home, get lunch somewhere new, take a walk down a street you normally don’t. Seeing things with fresh eyes can spark the intuition.
Stream of consciousness writing.
Pulling a Tarot card or two (see Chapter 6).
Resetting by eating a nourishing meal.
Creating the right ritual for you: Casting a spell
Writing down what you’d like to manifest is a powerful act. It solidifies your desires within your brain and in the universe, initiating magic. Spells are intentions that are specifically spoken, felt, and put out into the world. The most important aspects are your intention and feeling it in your body. If a spell doesn’t feel right to you, it might not do much, so creating your own spells based on your intuition and preferences is a great practice.
Spell formula
1. Set an intention. What do you want? Are you calling something in? Releasing something? Setting a boundary?
2. Craft the words. Write out your intention along with any other language you want to include, like calling on your guides and the universe along with a couple of other strong sentences.
3. Add tools. Choose candles, plants, essential oils, incense, artwork, food, crystals—whatever feels aligned.
4. Put it all together. Set up your tools on an altar or cleared space and say the words you prepared out loud. Repeat them if it feels right.
5. Seal your spell with a simple act of self-care, like drinking a glass of water or an infusion, having a piece of chocolate, or taking a shower.
Tarot Reflections
Card 1: What part of my core self wants to be seen and loved right now?
Card 2: How can I deepen my sense of self-worth?
Card 3: What will aid me in my manifestation process today?
See page 11 for guidance.
Walnut Pesto and Brain-Health Bowl
As we’re reworking our relationship to our shadow and beliefs around self-worth and personal power, we’ll need plenty of brain support. The thinking mind loves patterns, so it puts up a fight when we try to change the way we think—because it’s easier and more energy-efficient to stick to the patterns we’ve built up over time. Be gentle with yourself and give your head a little extra love and attention with brain-healthy foods, which this bowl and pesto are packed with. Walnuts, greens, blueberries, tomatoes, eggs, avocado, and whole grains are all incredible brain food.
You can also use the pesto on pasta, eggs, sandwiches, etc. You can also substitute basil for half basil half parsley, all parsley, or all cilantro/coriander.
Makes ½ cup/100g pesto
Walnut Pesto
½ cup/50g raw walnut halves or pieces
1 bunch of basil (about 2 cups/40g)
freshly squeezed juice of ½ lemon
1 tablespoon nutritional yeast
½ garlic clove
1 teaspoon white miso paste
½ cup/120ml extra virgin olive oil
salt
Makes 1 bowl
Brain-Health Bowl
2 cups/100g kale, cleaned and finely sliced into ribbons
½ cup/60g cooked wild rice or other whole grain (cooked weight)
1 soft-boiled egg, cut in half
½ avocado, cut into chunks
⅓ cup/60g grape/small plum tomatoes, halved
½ cup/60g blueberries
2 tablespoons pepitas/pumpkin seeds, toasted
Preheat the oven to 350°F/175°C/Gas 4.
To make the pesto, spread the raw walnuts on a baking tray and place in the preheated oven for 7–9 minutes, until lightly toasted and fragrant. Set aside to cool. When the walnuts have cooled, place in a food processor or blender with all the remaining pesto ingredients and purée until smooth and everything is finely chopped and well combined.
Combine the kale in a mixing bowl with 2 spoonfuls of pesto and a pinch of salt. Massage the pesto into the kale with your hands for about 30 seconds until the kale starts to soften. Add the cooked rice to the kale and toss to combine.
Place the pesto kale and rice in your serving bowl and top with the rest of the bowl ingredients. Serve with more pesto if desired.
