Introduction
Warning Signs
The Simple Dog
Motivation
The God of Cake
The Helper Dog Is an Asshole
Depression Part One
Depression Part Two
Lost in the Woods
Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving
The Hot Sauce Debacle
This Is Why I’ll Never Be an Adult
The Parrot
Dinosaur (The Goose Story)
Thoughts and Feelings
Dogs’ Guide to Understanding Basic Concepts
The Party
Identity Part One
Identity Part Two
Acknowledgments
About Allie Brosh