Contents

Welcome

Dedication and Acknowledgments

Author’s Note

Me and Marcia: You Bet Your Life

Bernadette

Message to the Groom

The Morphamization of Peanut Armhouse

The Missing Pages

Voice Mail

If Only Native Americans Knew Then What They Know Now

If You’re Not in the Picture

Erectile Dysfunction

Too Late For Me But Perhaps Not for You

Children Aren’t Your Friends

My Own Room

My Single Daughter

My Son’s First Bad Word

Raise Your Tail!

Cabbage Patch

They Should Do This Every Three Months

The Last Word

Newsletters