INDEX

advice, from other parents, 41–42

agile development, 11, 117

agile family meetings, 9–16

alternative work arrangements, 145–150

apps, 103

backup plan, for a sick child, 153, 154

Bailyn, Lotte, 146, 148

balance

letting go of idea of, 55–64

See also work-life balance

Beard, Alison, 35–43

boss

explaining time away from work to, 129

gaining support for flexible work from, 145–150

oversharing with, 174

selling remote work to, 104

boundaries, setting, 119, 124–125, 141, 175–176, 187–188

brain research, 14

Bregman, Peter, 183–189

Broken Compass study, 130

calendars

blocking out time on, 160

color-coding, 72

electronic, 19

look-aheads, 73

operationalizing, 71–72

pre-blocks, 72

syncing family, 17–23

care, expressing, 184

Carmichael, Sarah Green, 76–81

change, getting comfortable with, 62

charismatic leaders, 15

childcare, 21, 119, 154

children

active dialogue with, 72–74

checkpoints with, 70

Covid-19 pandemic and, 115–126

demands of older, 66–67

education of, 128

empowering, 14

explaining remote work arrangement to, 104

family crisis and, 171–179

family meals and, 107–114

helping grown, 126

independent, 133, 187

interactions with, 59–60

negotiating with your, 25–33

offering choices to, 31

quality time with, 63

school-age, demands of, 127–133

setting boundaries for, 124

sick, 151–157

working from home with, 99–105

choices, offering to kids, 31

chores, 117, 121–122

chronic illness, 156–157

Clifton Strengths Finder, 5–6

colleagues

communication with, 156, 173–174

engaging with, 37–38

explaining time away from work to, 129

flexible work arrangements and, 148–149

oversharing with, 174

relationship building with, 103

remote work and, 102

saying no to requests from, 89–95

communication

about family crisis, 173–175

about a sick child, 153

with children, 72–74

with colleagues, 156, 173–174

with family members, about work, 166–169

with partner, 120

contributions, parenting, 67–71

conversations. See communication

Covid-19 pandemic, xv

getting things done during, 115–126

taking long view of, 126

teaching opportunities during, 118

D3 reviews, 117

delegation, 75–81

imaginary, 78

time conflicts and, 162

Dillon, Karen, 91–95

dinnertime, 107–114, 121

Dowling, Daisy, xiii–xvii, 99–105, 107–114, 127–133, 151–157

Dufu, Tiffany, 75–81

EdNavigator, 130

electronic calendars, 19

emergency fund, 155

emergency meals, 113

emotions, in family negotiations, 27

entitlement, 7

executive skills, 14

expectations

adjusting your, 94, 137

clarifying your, 175–176

of others, 169

setting, 141, 187–188

unrealistic, 77, 136

extended families, 37

Facebook, 156

fairness, 32

families

culture of, 161

extended, 37

rituals for, 50

See also family members

family calendars

color-coding, 72

look-aheads, 73

operationalizing, 71–72

pre-blocks, 72

syncing, 17–23

family crisis, 171–179

family goals, 60–61

family meals, 107–114, 121

family meetings

agile, 9–16

weekly, 20–21

family members

contributions to dinner by, 112–113

conversations with, 64, 72–74, 166–169

discussing priorities with, 50

identifying and developing strengths of, 5–6

input from, 5

negotiating with, 25–33

treating as important, 6

See also children; spouse

family study hall, 131

fathers. See parents

feedback, negative, 94

Feiler, Bruce, 9–16

flexibility, 15–16, 101–102

flexible work arrangements

gaining support for, 145–150

organizational benefits of, 149

reassessing and adjusting, 149–150

team input on, 148–149

trial period for, 147–148

See also remote work; working from home

focus, 63, 140

Friedman, Stewart D., 55–64, 148–150, 165–169

friends

help from, 35–43

support from, during crisis, 178

Galinsky, Ellen, 10

Gallo, Amy, 145–150

goals

alignment of work and family, 60–61

for flexible work arrangements, 147

See also priorities

grandparents

helping grown kids, 126

as teachers, 118–119

Grant, Adam, 39

Grant, Heidi, 40, 83–88, 136–142

gratitude, 122

growth mindset, 138

guilt

over time conflicts, 160

over to-do list, 135–142

habits, 62, 71

harmony, 59

help

asking for, 40–41, 83–88

offering your, 39–40

saying no to requests for, 89–95

saying thank you for, 88

home life

happier, 3–7, 10

keeping sane, 165–169

scheduling, 4–5

See also work-life balance

homeschooling, 118–119

homework, 131

imaginary delegation, 78

independence, 133, 187

information flows

about family crisis, 173–175

See also communication

job constraints, 161

Johnson, Whitney, 3–7, 137–141

Kanban boards, 117

Kern, Mary C., 25–33

kids. See children

Knight, Rebecca, 89–95, 135–142

Kurtzberg, Terri R., 25–33

late-night work, 122

leadership, 15, 56, 60, 62, 183–189

lifelines, offering, 93

limitations, recognizing your, 138–139

lockdown, getting things done during, 115–126

long-term thinking, 51–52

look-aheads, 73

meal time, 107–114, 121

micromanagement, 59–60

mindset, 58, 59, 109, 138

mothers. See parents

nap time, 120

Nawaz, Sabina, 171–179

negative feedback, 94

negative ruminations, 137

negotiations, with kids, 25–33

networks, building, 35–43

Nickisch, Curt, 56–64

“no,” learning to say, 89–95

offers, in negotiations, 31

outsourcing, 119

parenting

personal nature of, 48

skills from, 183–189

as source of power, 56–57

spending time wisely, 65–74

parenting posse, 35–43

parents

asking for help from other, 40–41

defining contributions and passions as, 67–71

engaging with other, 37–38

invincibility of, 15

learning from other, 41–42

micromanagement by, 59–60

offering help to, 39–40

patience required by, 185–186

support from other, 35–43

See also working parents

parent-teacher relationship, 131–132

partner

making time to connect with, 120

support from, 177–178

passions, parenting, 67–71

patience, 185–186

pediatricians, 155

personal commitments, competing with professional commitments, 159–163

personal crisis, managing work during, 171–179

phone calls

privacy during, 102

responding to, 81

when working from home, 102

pivoting, 188

planning time, 63–64

positive self-talk, 142

power struggles, with kids, 28–29

present, being, 63

priorities

communicating with your partner about, 120

defining importance of, 51–52

discussing with family, 50

family meals as, 109–110

fusing with schedule, 52–53

parenting, 67–71

setting, 49–50, 77, 140, 160–161

values-driven schedule and, 47–53

productivity, 101–102, 138

professional commitments, competing with personal commitments, 159–163

project management software, 64

questions, asking kids, 29–30

reciprocity, 39–40

reference points, 32

reframing situations, 137

relationship building, 37–38, 103

remote work

benefits of, 100

challenges of, 100

connecting family with, 121

demonstrating commitment and, 102

explaining to kids, 104

going to office and, 103–104

keeping routine and, 101–102

with kids, 99–105

making case for, 101

physical work environment for, 102–103

relationship building and, 103

selling to boss, 104

technology for, 103

See also working from home

repetition, in family negotiations, 27

requests

assessing, 91–92

saying no to, 89–95

resilience, 188

rituals, family, 50

Rozman, Ariela, 130

Saunders, Elizabeth Grace, 17–23, 47–53, 159–163

schedule

family calendars for, 17–23

for home life, 4–5

values-driven, 47–53

See also calendars; time management

school-age kids, 127–133

school volunteerism, 129–130

screen time, 63, 122

self-care, 176–177

self-empathy, 142

sick child, 151–157

silence, in negotiations, 32–33

Slack, 103

snacks, 112

social media, 156

space, respecting others, 121

spouse

making time to connect with, 120

support from, 177–178

“sprint and recover” approach, 131

stakeholder dialogues, 166–169

strengths, identifying and developing, 5–6

stress, 10, 128

Su, Amy Jen, 65–74

support networks

during Covid-19 pandemic, 125

during crises, 177–178

of other parents, 35–43

Sutherland, Jeff, 12

take out, 112

tasks

asking for help with, 83–88

delegating, 75–81

on to-do lists, 139–141

outsourcing, 119

turning down extra, 89–95

teachers, 131–132

technology audit, 103

thank yous, 88

time commitments, competing, 159–163

time management

conflicting commitments and, 159–163

delegation and, 76–81

with family calendars, 17–23

family meals and, 111

for homework, 131

values-driven schedule and, 47–53

working parents and, 48–49, 65–74

to-do lists

being pragmatic about, 139–140

guilt over, 135–142

paring down, 117, 139–140

Torres, Nicole, 77–81

trade-offs, 59

Twitter, 156

unexpected, dealing with the, 188

values

reflecting on your, 58

time commitments and, 161–162

transmitting, 61–62

values-driven schedule, 47–53

video calls, 102–103

virtual presence, 162–163

vision, 60

volunteer commitments, 129–130

waterfall model of software development, 12

Weeks, Holly, 91–95

Westring, Alyssa, 55–64

win-win agreements, 28

work

commitments at, conflicting with personal, 159–163

dedicated time for, 122–123

during family crisis, 171–179

flexible arrangements, 145–150

increased commitments at, 165–169

late-night, 122

sick child and, 151–157

stepping back from, 123–124

work ethic, 102

work goals, 60–61

working from home

benefits of, 100

challenges of, 100

demonstrating commitment when, 102

explaining to kids, 104

going to office and, 103–104

keeping routine while, 101–102

with kids, 99–105

making case for, 101

physical work environment for, 102–103

relationship building and, 103

selling to boss, 104

staggering your day and, 116

technology for, 103

See also remote work

working parents

Covid-19 pandemic and, 115–126

demands of school-age kids and, 127–133

expectations for, 48, 66

family meals and, 107–114

flexible work arrangements for, 145–150

learning from other, 41–42

overwhelmed, xiii–xv, 58

pressures on, 10, 66

reflection by, 58–59

sick child and, 151–157

staggering of day by, 116

support from other parents for, 35–43

time management and, 48–49, 65–74

volunteer commitments and, 129–130

See also parents

work-life balance

keeping sane, 165–169

letting go of idea of, 55–64

spending time wisely for, 65–74