CHAPTER
8
BUILDING MENTAL FITNESS
LET’S FACE IT: WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING FIT (OR FITTER) OR losing weight (or body fat), your mind can be your biggest ally, or your worst foe. That’s why it’s smart to occasionally hit the pause button and take your mental pulse: When you think about your body, its state, shape, and capabilities, does your inner voice sound like it’s coming from a kind, supportive coach or a mean, abusive taskmaster? The answer matters because your mind is your most powerful muscle, which means you can either flex it to boost your motivation and perseverance or clench it to resist or sabotage your own efforts. To make the right choice (the latter one, in case you had any doubt), it’s essential to have a clear sense of why you’ve set a particular goal for yourself and to remind yourself of the answers on a regular basis to help you stay on course and go the distance.
So go ahead and ask yourself, What do I want to achieve? Why do I really want this? And How badly do I really want it? The next step is to visualize achieving what you’re striving for: picture yourself slipping into the strong, fit, toned body you want, and imagine how you’d look, feel, and move. Remember and revisit that image often to keep what you’re striving for in the front of your mind.
If you want to make lifestyle changes that last and have the mental motivation to keep doing what you’re doing, it’s crucial to bring your head into the equation in myriad ways. Otherwise, you won’t be mentally invested in the diet and exercise changes you’re trying to make. The truth is, my clients who make the most progress have a hefty dose of self-motivation and self-discipline—mental fortitude—and you need these key ingredients, too. Even the best in-person workouts with me three or four times per week won’t lead to optimal results if the other days are misused with excessive lounging on the couch, channel surfing, and junk-food orgies. So you really need to build mental fitness in tandem with physical fitness. One without the other isn’t all that helpful, but the two together create a positive synergy in which one reinforces the other.
Here are essential ways to set that critical process in motion:
CREATE A TYPE GOAL. Unless you wanted to hit the road for the sheer thrill of it, you wouldn’t get in your car and drive somewhere without a destination in mind. The same should be true of altering your diet and exercise habits. To make the journey as efficient and enjoyable as possible, you’ll want to give yourself a physical and mental playbook so that your mind and your muscles can work together and support each other. To create that reciprocal positive connection, the best way to frame your goals is with the TYPE system. That means making them
T: Timely and time-based with a deadline to keep you motivated and on track
Y: You-centered, as in having a personally meaningful, specific target so you’ll know what you’re working toward
P: Plausible, as in realistic and attainable with action-oriented steps
E: Energizing so that your plan feels continuously fresh and you feel motivated to keep striving for the results you want.
To make this more relatable, let’s break it down in… slo-mo:
T is for timely because if you aren’t working with a specific timetable, you’ll have no way to set your long- and short-term goals, calculate the right numbers for your diet or workouts, or keep various endpoints in mind. Leave the time-frame for losing weight or getting fitter open-ended and time is likely to slip away from you—and so will your goals. So set your sights on what you want to achieve and in what time period, with intermediate (or, stepping-stone) goals along the way.
Y is for you-centered because really this plan is all about you. This entire book is about learning to eat and exercise right for your body type—but it’s up to you to set specific goals for yourself. You aren’t competing against a friend or another group. This is about you creating the best version of yourself, developing a better understanding of yourself, and showing yourself some serious love by taking good care of yourself. So set a personally meaningful goal (or two) that you can work toward—and hold yourself accountable to doing what it takes to get to that prize. This way you’ll be much more likely to achieve it and you can be proud of yourself.
P is for plausible because if your goal isn’t realistic or attainable, you’re not likely to reach it. So don’t expect to develop your dream body in a week (or two or three). Think about what’s realistic for you to achieve in a given span of time and frame your goals accordingly. If you want to lose 10 pounds, aim to shed 1 to 2 pounds per week and build your time line from there. Do the same thing if you want to be able to bench-press a specific amount of weight or run a certain distance. Once you achieve your goals, you can continue to set new ones that are outside your current comfort zone and expand your capabilities from there.
E is for energizing because you need goals and a plan that make you feel consistently excited and motivated to pursue them. Otherwise, your plan can start to feel basic or stale and you might start giving a half-baked effort. That’s the opposite of what you want to happen! So make an effort to keep your plan lively, appealing, and inspiring so you’ll want to keep chasing your goals.
This approach to setting goals works—and it works well. It lets you cover the bases of having key metrics—such as a measurable, realistic goal and a time frame to complete it in—and it forces you to make your goals personal and self-affirming. By way of example, consider actor Steve Howey, who wanted to get “as jacked as possible” for Season 7 of Shameless. It was a worthy goal but kind of vague so we broke it down into the specifics of how he would need to shed some weight and body fat first, then build up muscle to achieve a body recomposition for his endo-mesomorph body type. We turned it into a TYPE goal by making it timely (we had a year to work with until Season 7 filmed), keeping the plan centered on Steve’s goals, making it plausible (by breaking the big goal into smaller ones and adjusting his macronutrient intake and workout approach accordingly), and making it energizing by celebrating the small victories along the way (like five-pound weight-loss milestones, new personal records with weight-lifting, and so on). It worked: he went from 242 pounds and 22 percent body fat to 220 with 10 percent body fat and killer abs. Want proof? Check out the difference in how he looks on Shameless before Season 7 and after, when he truly does look jacked and ripped.
The TYPE model works because it is based on both what you want to accomplish and why you want it. In this book, I am providing you with all the how’s you’ll need to transform your diet and your workouts in order to transform your body. Now it’s time to get inside your head and transform your attitude in key ways. The following mental tips, tricks, and strategies will help you keep your physical and psychological energy and motivation high, as you strive for the prize you’ve set your sights on.
Run toward the positive, not away from the negative. Picture the results of what you’re working to achieve and forget about the feelings and habits you’re trying to ditch. Imagine what it would feel like to transform your body into the healthiest and strongest version of what it can be. Think about how vibrant, powerful, and sexy you’d feel, how you’d present yourself to the world, how you’d walk, run, or dance. As they’re working toward body-enhancing goals, people often think about what they’re trying to get away from (perhaps feeling tired, sluggish, depressed, insecure, or some other bummer of a feeling). But think about it: that’s kind of like running away from a mugger while looking over your shoulder—it makes you likely to trip and fall. It’s much more productive to envision your end goal and then run full-steam ahead toward it. Chase the image of what you want and you’ll get to it so much faster.
Rewrite your internal script. Instead of just silencing the negative chatter in your head—you know, the voice that tells you that you aren’t fit enough or strong enough to do a Tough Mudder race, a triathlon, or whatever physical event you want to do—replace that hyper-critical inner voice with one that takes a more positive view. Remind yourself of a time when you performed at your absolute best, whether it was while playing a particular sport, giving a presentation at work, or doing something else. Create a mantra that helps trigger those feelings of complete confidence and operating in the optimal performance zone. It doesn’t have to be complicated; it can be something as simple as “I’ve got this!” or “I can do this!” Changing the way you think and talk (to yourself) about your physical capabilities can help you get the results you want. Want proof? Research suggests that perceived fitness (a person’s belief about his or her level of physical fitness) is a stronger predictor of the psychological benefits and improvements in physical functioning that stem from exercise than the person’s aerobic fitness level.
Embrace the right motivation. In a nutshell, the optimal form of motivation is intrinsic motivation (which comes from inside you and is long lasting) rather than extrinsic motivation (which comes from outside you and has an expiration date). Don’t get me wrong: sometimes an external source of motivation (such as wanting to look good for a reunion or a wedding or to win a medal in a competition) can get you into a healthier lifestyle, but what happens after the motivating event has passed? It’s not going to inspire you to sustain your lifestyle changes for the long run, that’s for sure. On the other hand, internal motivation (which can stem from having a personally meaningful goal, enjoying the process or activity itself, and/or feeling gratified by your progress) can. So dig deep and find a sustainable, personally meaningful reason why you want to make these changes for the duration, why you want to be your healthiest, strongest, best self. Maybe it’s to improve your health, have more energy, or be able to dance at your (future) child’s wedding. There’s no “right” answer. Whatever it is, the why behind your motivation is what really matters, so name it, embrace it, write it down, then integrate it into your TYPE goal. Keep it close to your heart and mind, and think of it whenever sticking to your diet or workouts feels especially tough. Think of this as your way to continuously light your own fire.
For example, I want and need to be healthy for my kids, and I want to be around to know my grandkids. For someone else, getting fit may be driven by a desire for greater internal confidence or a desire to overcome negative body image issues. For others, a passion for having a soul-enriching adventure—such as hiking a mountain in Nepal, going helicopter skiing, or doing a triathlon—may be the driving force. I work with a lot of men and women who are on the cusp of turning 40 or 50 and they decide they want to build their “best body ever”: I’m happy to report that I have seen this desire come to fruition many times, as people develop impressive ab muscles or learn to do a pull-up for the first time at 40 and 50. The secrets to their success: creating a TYPE goal and then working hard to achieve it.
Actress Danielle Fishel came to me because her fiancé, writer-comedian-producer Jensen Karp, had seen great results from training with me. He had a very specific time-frame, goal, and idea in mind that we actually framed as a “challenge” called Buff Season for his podcast Get Up on This. Danielle’s motivation started with a wedding date and a body shape and weight she wanted to have for her special day. As we started working together and got to know each other, it became clear that her motivation went even deeper, that she wanted to feel strong and full of energy for the big day and beyond. With her goals in mind, she came to every workout with a positive attitude and lots of energy—and she made progress every single week. Because she is a mesomorph, Danielle develops muscle and strength quickly, but it was her dedication, commitment, and continuous motivation that got her to her goals.
Celebrate the small mind-body gains. As you’re working toward your ultimate goal, appreciate how much better you already feel in different areas of your life. Are you sleeping better? Do you have greater mental clarity and focus? More energy? Less pain? Is your skin glowing? Do you look healthier or more vibrant? A 2018 study from Virginia Commonwealth University found that men who did a single high-intensity interval workout on a stationary bicycle had significant improvements in their executive function (a set of cognitive skills involving the ability to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and multitask successfully) immediately afterward. A study from the University of South Carolina found that after previously sedentary women engaged in a single 54-minute session of moderate exercise, they slept better and had fewer awakenings during the night. Those are small victories right there! By tuning into the more short-term benefits of the lifestyle changes you’ve made, you’ll have strong incentive to continue the great work.
Picture yourself killing it. Believe it or not, visualizing yourself lifting weights, running faster, or climbing to a high peak with perfect form can help you achieve the real deal in actual life. The reason: “Visualization establishes a mental blueprint for sport skills and tactical ploys,” as sport psychologists Costas Karageorghis and Peter Terry note in their book Inside Sport Psychology. Let’s say you visualize yourself doing biceps curls: electrical activity can actually be detected in the biceps muscles (on electromyographical recordings) even without your doing any physical movement; this means that during mental rehearsals, the appropriate muscles are primed for subsequent action, which can lead to improvements in actual performance when the time comes. “When you practice mentally, your muscles are to some extent rehearsing the movement,” Karageorghis and Terry explain. Sport psychologists even have an acronym for this phenomenon—WYSIWYG (for What You See Is What You Get). So go ahead and imagine yourself rocking your performance in the weight room, on the trail, or on the climbing wall, using as many senses as you can; the visual rehearsal will serve you well once you get to the workout itself.
Bargain with yourself. We all have our off days when we just don’t feel like doing much. Rather than ditching your workout entirely, it’s better to make a deal with yourself to show up and do whatever you’d planned to do for 10 minutes. Whether it’s lifting weights, running, cycling, or something else, swing into action for 10 minutes and heed this rule: if you really want to quit after 10 minutes, give yourself permission to call it quits or pull the escape hatch. Even if you don’t perform at your best, exercising for 10 minutes is better than bagging a workout entirely. But chances are, once your body gets into motion and you feel the endorphins start to kick in after 10 minutes, you’ll be able to bargain with yourself to give it another 10 or 20 minutes and before you know it, you might just eke out a full workout.
Stay accountable to yourself. Striving for a goal without keeping yourself accountable to it is like taking a road trip to somewhere you’ve never been without using a map or GPS, or tracking your mileage or landmarks along the way. Is it theoretically possible to get to your desired destination? Sure, but you may get lost en route or take some unexpected (or unwanted) detours. Then again, you might not arrive where you wanted to at all. The reality is, the journey to greater fitness will go more quickly, efficiently, safely, and easily if you record your workouts (including the amount of weight you’re lifting, the number of reps you’re doing, and other important details) and monitor your progress in a journal, on an app, or somewhere else, noting key milestones along the way. Doing this can help with troubleshooting because you can see patterns between your performance and your lifestyle habits (whether you ate or slept well or took time to relax before you worked out, for example).
Here’s an example from my own workout log (here), followed by a blank journal page you can copy and use for yourself.
At least on a monthly basis, check your objective numbers (for weights, reps, your body weight or measurements) to gauge your progress. The reason: numbers don’t lie. You live in your body day after day so it’s easy to be blind to incremental changes in your physique, but seeing a record of measurable numerical improvements will make you realize how far you’ve come—and it can give you a huge mental and motivational incentive to keep doing what you’re doing. Sharing your goals and progress with friends and family members also can help you stay true to your cause: just be sure to share only with people you trust to build you up or support you—and who will be honest with you if you’re going off track or overdoing it.
Accept your feelings. Listen, bad moods happen. Some days, work sucks. People cut you off on the freeway. You have a fight with your partner or a family member. You don’t meet your workout goal. I get it: you’re human. First of all, welcome to the club—I’m a member, too! We’re all in this thing called “life” together, and it can feel liberating to acknowledge that it’s okay to have off days or feel anxious or flail. It opens you up to being teachable and humble, attributes that you need for physical and psychological growth. So do the best you can on any given day and realize that you won’t be able to give 100 percent every single day—and that’s all right. My motto is: it’s always better to do something, even if it’s hard, than nothing.
WEIGHT: 245
SETS: 3
REPS: 10
NOTES: Got first 2 sets, only 6 reps on the 3rd.
EXERCISE: Incline DB Press
WEIGHT: 100
SETS: 3
REPS: 12
NOTES: Got all 3, did burnout sets to failure with 30s after.
EXERCISE: Pushups
WEIGHT:
SETS: 3
REPS: Failure
NOTES: 22, 18, 5
EXERCISE: Wide-Grip Pullups
WEIGHT:
SETS: 5
REPS: Failure
NOTES: 25, 17, 14, 11, 8
EXERCISE: Deadlifts
WEIGHT: 405
SETS: 5
REPS: 5
NOTES: All done.
EXERCISE: Bent Rows
WEIGHT: 225
SETS: 3
REPS: 12
NOTES: All done
EXERCISE: Incline Fly/Rear Fly supersets
WEIGHT: 20
SETS: 3
REPS: 15 of each
NOTES: Did all back to back; burnouts for 30 sec.
EXERCISE: Cable Crossovers
WEIGHT: 100
SETS: 3
REPS: 20
NOTES: All done
EXERCISE: Low-cable Rows
WEIGHT: 200
SETS: 3
REPS: 8
NOTES: All done
EXERCISE: Cardio
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NOTES: Finished with 15 mins treadmill HIIT.
EXERCISE: How I Felt Afterward
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NOTES: Overall good workout. Felt a little tired so didn’t go as long or hard on the HIIT but still crushed it all in 65 mins total.
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There’s no substitute for working hard and taking pride in that. When you show up for yourself, push through, and make things happen when life feels especially tough, you won’t regret it. Even if you do a shorter-than-usual workout or give a 70 percent effort, you’re still doing yourself a solid by doing something. Similarly, if your best dietary intentions go off the rails at a meal, cut yourself some slack and get back on track for the rest of the day and the next day. Repeat after me: I am human. Perfection isn’t the goal (spoiler alert: it doesn’t even exist) so do the best you can, and strive to make improvements when you realize you’re not at the top of your game.
Get a grip on your moods. Exercise is one of the most effective mood managers on the planet so don’t be surprised if you feel better after working up a sweat or pushing your physical limits. But if you still feel down, anxious, or otherwise out of sorts afterwards, ask yourself why you’re feeling that way; try to trace the feeling back to its origins or triggers. Sometimes, just being able to understand why you’re feeling the way you do can help restore your emotional equilibrium. So give yourself a brief interview and see if you can overcome the feeling by processing it. If it still bothers you, then ask yourself what you can do to help dissipate it. If you’re feeling tense or angry, use relaxation techniques like deep breathing, stretching, or listening to calming music to help yourself chill. If you’re feeling tired or sluggish, take an invigorating shower or have a healthy snack to help energize you. If you’re feeling stressed out or overwhelmed by what’s on your “To Do” list, practice positive self-talk and focus your energy on taking one step at a time, concentrating on what you’re doing right now and what you can control in the present moment. (Note to self: the rest can wait.)
Appreciate your successes. Many people charge from one workout to another or one fitness goal to the next, without taking time to acknowledge, let alone appreciate, their success. That’s a mistake for various reasons. For one thing, you miss the chance to take pride in what you’re accomplishing and use it to build your belief in your own ability to succeed. For another, you’ll gloss over a prime opportunity to use what you’ve just accomplished to fuel your next feat or propel your progress. “Numerous studies have shown that experiencing success in the performance of a given task enhances subsequent performance in the same task by increasing self-efficacy, or perceived competence,” as endurance guru/coach Matt Fitzgerald notes in his book How Bad Do You Want It? In other words, believing in yourself can lead to future achievements so pause long enough to give yourself a mental fist bump or pat on the back and enjoy your success. Doing so will set you up for a positive repeat performance.
Go for a change of venue. While consistency is important, sometimes a change of scenery can breathe some fresh air or new life into your workouts and/or your eating plan. So if you usually exercise in the gym, consider taking your workouts outside now and then. Or infuse your usual workout with a dose of novelty by doing your strength-training sequence in a different order or by exercising with a friend or group of people instead of going solo. One of the best ways to ward off exercise monotony or burnout is to include variety in your workouts so don’t be afraid to try new activities (Spinning, rock climbing, or kickboxing, anyone?). Similarly, you can liven up your meals simply by taking them outside, whether it’s on a picnic or to the patio or deck, or by cooking with friends. Finding ways to keep your newly healthy lifestyle habits feeling fresh will help you stay on the right course.
ARMED WITH THE IDEAS PRESENTED IN THIS CHAPTER, YOU CAN FILL YOUR fitness toolkit with proven strategies that can help you crank up your mental strength while you’re making dietary and workout changes that suit your body. By amping up your mental fortitude, you’ll fuel your physical efforts and vice versa, creating a powerful mind-body synergy that will help you thrive. Count on that! Use it! And fuel that dynamic interaction! Trust the training you’re doing and the process that’s already pushing you out of your previous comfort zone, broadening it, and expanding your vision for yourself. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve sparked a positive chain reaction: taking the steps recommended in this book will help you feel fitter, stronger, and more capable and confident both physically and mentally; these effects will create a two-way feedback loop that will continue to make you feel and function better and better, both inside and out. You’ve got this!