MAKE WOMEN CHASE YOU
How To Fill Your Life With Hot Women
- The Complete Course -
Justin Rigney
Copyright (c) 2018 Justin Rigney All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer
All attempts have been made to verify the information in this book. However, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretations of the content within. This book is for entertainment purposes only. The views of the author should not be taken as expert instruction or commands. The reader is responsible for his or her own actions. Neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility or liability on behalf of the purchaser or reader of this book.
Contents
Foreword: It’s All About You
Chapter 1: Mental Overhaul
The World Will Accept What You Show It
The Belief System of the Carefree Man
Approach Women Just To See What Happens
How To Not Care What Other People Think
How To Not Care About Rejection
Bonus Tip On Rejection And Caring About What Other People Think
“What You Look Like” Isn’t About Your Face
Money Has Nothing To Do With Attraction
Chapter 2: 25 Day Action Plan to Change Your Life
Chapter 3: How Women Work, The Secret All Guys Want
Women Are Not Logical & Attraction Is Not Linear
Fun, Positive & Challenging Emotions
Women’s Emotions Are Affected By Their Surroundings
Women Are Attracted To Guys Who Go For What They Want
Women Think About Sex All The Time Too
Chapter 4: Attraction Phase 1 - Smash or Pass
Grooming, Body Language, Preselection, Social Media
Chapter 5: Attraction Phase 2 - Curiosity
How To Start Fun Conversations & Keep Them Going
Why We Never Ask Questions This Way Again
Cliffhangers Are Not “One-Time” Events
Tell Her Something About Yourself
What If She Doesn’t Have A Nickname
Where Name Assumptions Work Best
Where Are You From Assumptions
What Do You Do For Fun Example
Acting Like She’s Hitting On You
Storm The Beach - How To Walk Into A Bar
IEADs - Improvised Explosive Attraction Devices
My #1 Silver Bullet Conditions
Chapter 6: Attraction Phase 3 - Fascination
Conversations That Create An Emotional Connection
You Demonstrating Female Awareness
Fun, Positive and Challenging Emotions
You Demonstrating High Social Status
How To Bring Your Stories To Life
Chapter 7: Attraction Phase 4 – Captivation
Supplement Course 1: Daytime Unleashed
Supplement Course 2: Nighttime Unleashed
Supplement Course 3: 7 Mental Exercises To Get You Laid
Exercises 5 – 7
Supplement Course 4: How to Touch Women
Both Hands on Her Shoulders / Hugs
“Accidently” Bump into Her
Nudging Her into Things
Secret Handshakes and Palm Reading
Show me your Muscles - Revisited
Foreword: It’s All About You
Gentlemen,
It’s time to start attracting the women you want into your life. It’s time to start making them chase you . It’s time to become the guy you’ve always wanted to be; the guy who is magnetic and seems to attract women effortlessly.
You can become that guy. Yes, really. Even if you don’t believe it at this very moment.
If you’re willing to commit yourself to this course. If you’re willing to take action to change yourself. Then you can become the kind of guy that women find irresistible -- no matter where you’re starting from today.
It doesn’t matter what your experience level is with women right now. It doesn’t matter what your face looks like (yes, really). All that matters is that you’re willing to change and willing to follow the steps in this course, even if they seem scary.
Commit yourself to that and in 25 days you will transform into the kind of guy that women feel an uncon trollable attraction toward. Women will start to compete with each other for your attention.
If that sounds like what you want for your life, then the first thing you must understand is that attracting women is all about you . Not them.
The world is full sexy women.
It will be full of sexy women no matter what you decide to do with this course. If you decide to read through this course and then do nothing, the world will still be full of sexy women.
They will just sleep with other guys. Guys who made different choices than you.
On the other hand, if you decide to dedicate yourself to this course. If you take the information, absorb it, and make it your own. If you transform yourself into the person that this course will show you how to become. If you practice improving yourself daily. If you force yourself to complete every Action Step. Then your life with women will change quickly, dramatically, and for the better.
Women will be chasing you. Women will be sleeping with you. Women will be pushing each other out of the way to get you.
This transformation will ultimately come down to a choice that you must make. This course will guide you in meticulous, step-by-step detail what needs to be done.
But at the end of the day, you must choose to do it .
And let’s be perfectly honest. The choices you will encounter in this course are going to make you uncomfortable. Because they will go against the most fundamental of human instincts.
What instinct is that? Well of course it’s survival, right?
Wrong.
The most basic human instinct is to stay comfortable. Humans will do anything to avoid discomfort.
Anything.
If survival was the most basic instinct, why would alcohol, cigarettes, drugs and fast food be so popular? We all know that stuff will kill you.
People aren’t doing anything they can to survive when they consume alcohol, cigarettes, drugs and fast food.
So why are they consuming it?
Because it makes them comfortable. They are used to it. It’s familiar.
They are knowingly sacrificing their survival for the sake of comfort. That’s how powerful the instinct is to stay comfortable .
Right now, in this moment, you are a man who doesn’t attract women. Or doesn’t attract enough women. Or doesn’t attract hot women. Or doesn’t attract the right kind of women.
Why?
Only one reason. Because it’s comfortable.
You want to attract more women. Hotter women. You tell yourself that all the time.
You genuinely believe it.
But despite everything you say, think, and believe, there’s one thing getting in the way.
It’s that getting where you want to be with women will require you to be uncomfortable, at least at the beginning.
So you don’t do it. Your subconscious fights it to the bitter end. It does anything it can to avoid being uncomfortable. People’s subconscious would rather be miserable and comfortable, than happy and uncomfortable.
If you don’t believe that, just look at all the unhappy marriages in the world.
There is one underlying reason why miserable couples stay together.
Because it’s familiar. Because it’s comfortable.
So what’s the difference between you and the guys you see getting all the hot women?
Is it that they were born comfortable? Is it that they found a magic way to just be comfortable?
No. They were uncomfortable too.
Did that register?
THEY WERE UNCOMFORTABLE TOO.
The only difference between them and you is that they were uncomfortable, and they did it anyway .
They made the choice. They made the decision that they would transform themselves into men who attract women effortlessly. No matter what it took. No matter how scary it was. No matter how uncomfortable it got.
Now it’s your turn to make a choice. You have to choose to get uncomfortable.
Think about it for a day. Ponder it. It’s not for everybody.
The idea of getting uncomfortable is now planted in your mind.
But you will need to keep reinforcing this idea as we go through the course. You will need to reinforce that getting uncomfortable is good. That it’s what you want. That you’re going to fight through the discomfort, whatever it takes.
Why?
Because as soon as you first start feeling uncomfortable, your subconscious will try every trick in the book to stop you. You may get upset. You may get scared. You may say: “that’s not me” or “I can’t do that.” Your subconscious will fight furiously against the decisions you need to make.
That’s when you need to reinforce the idea that getting uncomfortable is what you want. That you’re willing to fight through 25 days of discomfort to arrive at a lifetime of pleasure with beautiful women. That you’re going to do it anyway, no matter what.
No self-made success story got there without discomfort along the way. So grab a sticky note and write this down and post in on your bathroom mirror:
Being uncomfortable is what I want. On the other side of discomfort is a land filled with beautiful women.
Reinforce that message every morning and every night for the next 25 days. Just don’t forget to tuck the note away inside the medicine cabinet when you start bringing hotties over to spend the night.
*****
Before we start the course, I’d also like to share with you my favorite story about Tony Robbins.
This story is not about what he teaches, but about the man himself.
We all know that Tony Robbins is arguably the greatest self-help guru of all time.
But why is he that?
How did he become that?
Was he born with special powers? Did he attend some secret school nobody else knew about? Did he drink the right Kool Aid?
Of course not. He was just a regular dude. Just like me and just like you.
I heard an interview with Tony where he was asked that very question. How did he become what he is today?
How did he go from being broke, overweight, and living in some crappy apartment, to the world-renown phenomenon that he became?
His answer was that he made a decision . A decision to change his circumstances, no matter what it took. No matter how scary it was. No matter how uncomfortable it got.
And a decision is a powerful thing. If you really commit to it and allow nothing to get in the way, a decision can transform your life.
Then Tony said my favorite line of all time. Referring to himself (referring to the Tony Robbins that he had become), he said this:
“I created that fucker out of nothing.”
See. Just a normal dude who made a decision to change and refused to let anything get in the way.
That’s exactly what you can accomplish using this course. You can create the man you’ve always wanted to be, out of nothing.
And here is a critical point:
Right now, you’re not attracting women (or enough women, or enough hot women, whatever the case may be) because of a decision.
That’s right. You are currently making the choice to NOT attract these women .
You’ve made this choice whether you know it or not. And whether you like it or not.
And everything in your life, from the way you look, to the way you act, to the way you carry yourself, to your demeanor, to your confidence, to everything, is a reflection of that choice.
It’s essentially self-fulfilling. You’ve chosen that and now your life reflects that.
If you’re ready, the time has now come to make a different choice.
No matter what.
I hope you’re ready for a wild ride.
Chapter 1: Mental Overhaul
The World Will Accept What You Show It
Let’s start with a reality check. The world is indifferent to whether you attract women effortlessly or attract women not at all.
Let’s look at the most important part of that statement: the world is indifferent to whether you attract women effortlessly. Said differently: the world is perfectly fine if you live a life filled with beautiful women.
There is no worldly force out there stopping you from attracting the 9s and the 10s. There is no fairness moderator saying the distribution of women must be equal among men.
The only thing moderating your success is yourself. You are showing the world that your success with women should be moderated (this is the decision you’ve made that we discussed earlier).
If you’ve read this far in the course, then you’ve now made a different decision: the decision to transform yourself. The first step is to transform what you believe.
Below is the belief system of the Carefree Man. A man who wholeheartedly show these beliefs to the world is irresistibly attractive to women.
When you first read these, it’s likely you won’t wholeheartedly believe them. That’s because it’s almost impossible to believe something that is drastically different than your personal experience.
However, the fact that you may not believe them today is perfectly fine. Just be open minded enough to let each belief be a seed planted in your subconscious. As we go through the course, those seeds will flourish.
Remember that life is short. And it can easily pass you by. In this life you can believe anything you want. The belief system you have today must not be fetching the results you want out of life, otherwise why would you be in this course?
So let those beliefs go and replace them with new ones.
Then start showing those new beliefs to the world.
The Belief System of the Carefree Man
Carefree Men Approach Women Just To See What Happens
Why?
Because when you’re on your deathbed, you won’t regret the times you got rejected. You will regret the times you never tried. You will regret the times you never got to see what happened.
Carefree men don’t approach women to get anything specific from them. They don’t approach to obtain some particular outcome. They approach for for only one simple reason: to see what happens.
Because seeing what happens is fun. Seeing what happens is satisfying. Seeing what happens is entertaining. And carefree men want to be entertained.
Plus, if you approach women only to see what happens, can you ever fail?
No.
Because no matter what the outcome of the interaction, the purpose has been fulfilled.
You saw what happened.
You don’t spend the rest of the day kicking yourself with “what might have happened if I had just sacked up and walked over there.”
That’s the regret of not knowing. And it’s the worst feeling in the world.
You want to know how to always avoid the pain of not knowing? Walk over there and see what happens.
It’s always much more fulfilling and rewarding to see what happens. It’s always much more entertaining. And no matter the outcome, it’s always exhilarating.
Throughout the course we’re going to start approaching women just to see what happens. When you take away the pressure of having to get her number , or get a date , or get any particular outcome , you’re going to feel like an enormous weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
You’re going to find that everything about attracting women will be so much easier.
Mental Seed #1: I approach women just to see what happens. Why? Because I don’t want to die with regret. That’s why.
Carefree Men Speak Without A Filter
You do this already.
Yes, you do. The problem is you only do it where it’s not helpful for attracting women.
You do it at home. You do it with friends. You do it online. Some people do it in their car or in the shower (we’ve all seen that person having a shit-fit while sitting at the stop light).
You do it in places that feel safe. Places where you won’t offend anybody. You do it when listeners are familiar or safely hidden away behind a computer screen.
Where you don’t do it is in front of women. Particularly attractive women.
When attractive women come around, suddenly a ridiculous verbal filter appears. You start saying things that you think she wants to hear. You say things that you think will make her happy. That you think she won’t disagree with. That you think will please her. That you think will make her attracted to you.
Then you wonder why you’re not getting laid. Why women are losing interest in you and sleeping with other guys.
Well here’s why. When you filter what you say, that means you are saying something you don’t really believe. All the passion of saying something you believe is lost. When the passion is lost, what you’re saying becomes stale, dry and boring.
Here’s another word for saying something you don’t really believe:
Lying .
Is that what women want? Is that who women want to sleep with? Liars?
In addition to lying, filtering makes you sound like all other guys. Because they are all lying (filtering) too. When you sound like everybody else, you don’t appear different.
Make a mental note of this: Different is interesting. Different is attractive.
Think about it. People go to the same workplaces and watch the same shows and do the same repetitive stuff all the time. And what do they say about it?
That it’s all boring (it’s all boring because it’s always the same).
People work and work and work at a boring job just so they can what? Go on vacation. Why is vacation interesting? Because it’s different.
It’s exactly the same thing with the way men talk. Hot women hear men talking all the time. When everybody sounds the same, it’s boring. When a guy sounds different (i.e. telling the truth, not lying, not filtering) it’s interesting.
It’s attractive.
Note that different doesn’t mean a purple mohawk, tattooed face and gauges the size of bowling balls.
Different just means something that stands out from the herd. Something that stands out from other guys. Even if it’s subtle and a woman can’t immediately identify what it is, it’s still subconsciously identified.
You will see other examples of being different throughout this course. In this case, being different simply means speaking without a filter (without lying).
Now this is not a free pass to be rude to everyone. This is not saying to be an asshole. It’s just saying to speak your mind about what you believe, with passion.
Here’s what you’re about to start noticing:
Now that you’ve read this, you will start noticing yourself think of something to say, and then not say it. That’s filtering. That’s the habit we need to break.
Here are the two main reason why people filter:
They think the other person will disagree.
They are unsure if what they are saying is correct.
Now that you’re aware of the main reasons for filtering, we can start identifying when you do this, and start changing it.
Let’s look further at these two reasons:
First: It doesn’t matter if she agrees with you or not.
Disagreement is fine. Often it’s good. Later in the course I’ll show you exactly how to handle disagreement during a conversation.
For now just understand that her agreeing or disagreeing has no impact on whether she finds you attractive.
To fully understand that, just think about “make up sex.” It’s common knowledge in relationships that make-up sex is some of the best sex you can have.
And what is make-up sex? It’s her disagreeing with you, and then fucking your brains out.
So...yeah...her disagreeing does not impact whether she’s attracted to you or not.
Second: It doesn’t matter if what you’re saying is completely accurate.
Most of the world sits silent because they’re afraid of being wrong in front of others.
You see examples of this everywhere. Think about a lecture hall in college. The professor asks a question. There’s 200 people in the room. How many people volunteer answers if not specifically called upon?
Not many.
People who sit silent are not memorable. They’re not different.
So here’s a very important point to remember: better to speak passionately and be wrong, than to say nothing.
When it comes to women, if you say something that is wrong and she’s aware it’s wrong, she’ll offer a different viewpoint and it’s the start of a conversation.
If you just say nothing, then no conversation can happen.
Mental Seed #2 : Filtering is lying. Disagreement is irrelevant. And no one ever got laid by being silent. Women are incapable of being attracted to men who filter their speech in an attempt to please them. When I speak freely, women become uncontrollably attracted to me.
Carefree Men Create Their Own Reality
You’ve heard stuff like this before. But what is often left out?
How.
How do you create your own reality? Do you just think about stuff?
Do you just think: ok today I’m going to start living in a reality where I bed hot women on the daily?
Of course not. Thinking gets you nowhere. Action gets you to your new reality.
So here’s what you do. You find an actionable plan that takes you step-by-step (in achievable, bite-sized chunks) from where you are today, to your new reality.
Then you make a decision to follow that plan no matter how uncomfortable it gets.
That’s exactly what this course is. And if you’re reading this, then you’ve already started.
Props.
Mental Seed #3 : As I sit here in this moment, it’s hard (frankly it’s almost impossible) for me to believe that I could live a life where hot chicks are calling me and trying to hook up. Regularly. A reality where hot chicks are chasing me.
I actually have no idea how I would achieve that.
But I also have found an actionable plan. A roadmap. So I’m going to commit to following every step in the process. No matter how uncomfortable it gets. I don’t know what the outcome will be, but I’m going to commit anyway.
Why?
Because I just want to see what happens.
Carefree Men Give Shit 1 About What Other People Think -- (Carefree Men Don’t Live Other People’s Lives)
When you care about what other people think, you are essentially living their life. You’re not living your own life. Because you are allowing their limiting beliefs to control your actions and your life.
Fully living in your new reality means that any limiting belief, thought, opinion or statement of others will become irrelevant.
A limiting belief is anything that make you hesitate. It’s anything that makes you nervous about outcomes. It’s anything that makes you put on a filter or bite your tongue.
It’s anything that says you can’t do it.
Not caring about other people’s opinions is easy to say and hard to do. Because we’ve been conditioned by our parents and society to allow the beliefs of others to impact us.
We will tackle this fear head-on in this course. For example, later in the course you will intentionally approach chicks when other people are within earshot. When they can hear what you are doing.
That probably sounds scary as hell (probably sounds impossible) right now. But don’t worry, that’s not at the beginning. By the time we get there, you’ll be ready.
And here’s a little preview secret: You’re going to learn that other people are actually impressed when they see you hitting on a hot girl.
Why?
Because they’re too scared to do it themselves since, they too, are bogged down worrying about what other people think.
When they see you in action, they will wish they could do what you’re doing. Often they will even congratulate you on a job well done after it’s over (regardless of the outcome).
Here’s another example of caring about what other people think:
People telling you that pursuing this topic is stupid. That trying to improve your game with women is a waste of time. That you should be focusing on something else.
This might come from people whose opinions you generally value. Friends and family, for example.
You need to squash those opinions directly. DO NOT just listen quietly to these people’s opinions and say nothing (silence is filtering).
If these are people you generally listen to, their debilitating ideas will be clanging around in your head constantly as you work through this course. Obviously that would not be helpful to your success.
So stand up for what you believe. You don’t have to be rude. But you need to remove the filter and say what you think. Tell them that creating a life that’s full of sexy women is something you want. It matters to you.
If it doesn’t matter to them that’s fine. You’re not asking them to participate. You’re just telling them to get out of the way.
Smile after doing that. You’ll be really happy for standing up for what you believe.
Mental Seed #4: The world doesn’t care about me. The world will bombard me with its opinions, but it doesn’t care if I follow those opinions and achieve a poor result. If I want something, I need to go get it. And the only opinion that matters in that journey is my own.
Carefree Men Give Shit 1 About Rejection
There it is. The dreaded “R” word.
This is the big hurdle. This is the biggest thing that keeps most guys living lives of quiet desperation.
Everything else in attracting women is simple to learn and implement.
We just need to get past rejection and it’s all smooth sailing. Yes, really.
AND YOU WILL GET OVER YOUR FEAR OF REJECTION IN THIS COURSE.
As long as you follow the Action Steps in Daytime Unleashed and Nighttime Unleashed.
Those supplements cover this topic in detail, so for now, let’s just plant a few seeds.
All of the guys out there who you see attracting women with ease, their rejections outnumber their successes. Twice as many. Three times as many. Ten times as many.
To get to where they are now, they were uncomfortable. But they did it anyway, and rejection was just part of the process.
If you want a life filled with sexy women, you’re going to encounter rejection along the way. There’s no way around it. So just accept it. Embrace it.
Rejection is not a failure. Rejection is just another example of seeing what happens.
Here’s the secret:
It’s not a simple “rejection” that guys are afraid of. A simple rejection is just “sorry I have a boyfriend” or “I’m flattered but I’m not interested.” There’s nothing really scary about that.
What guys are scared of is the mean rejection , the rude rejection , the humiliating rejection .
They’re scared of that because it probably happened to them once back in junior high or high school. Back when kids were just assholes. Or they’ve seen movies where some nerd asks out a hot cheerleader and suddenly 10 sorority girls are all laughing and pointing.
And they have projected that one experience, or that one ridiculous scene from a movie, onto how “all rejections” are going to be. Literally that one experience or scene has road-blocked them from even approaching women.
How awful.
The reality is that this almost never happens. In most cases women are flattered to be approached . Even if they turn you down, they are flattered. You can literally make a womans day by hitting on her. REALLY.
If a woman is going to put that much effort into looking so good. It is your obligation, YOU OWE IT TO HER, to walk over there and say something.
OK, occasionally you might get an eye roll and get ignored. So what…..
You will most likely have a long, successful life approaching women, and some horrendous, high school, movie-style rejection is NEVER going to happen.
If it happens, it’s like getting struck by lightning.
Are you never going to go outside because of that one tiny chance you might get struck by lightning?
Mental Seed #5 : Rejection happens. Fuck it.
Bonus Tip On Rejection And Caring About What Other People Think
Some people in this course are starting at the very beginning of attracting women -- essentially just working on improving basic social skills.
Because of that I want to add two important points about rejection and caring what other people think.
Internalize these statements and you’ll start to see that all your energy wasted on worrying about rejection and other people’s opinions is ridiculous.
- The only person who remembers a rejection is you.
- Most of the time, people aren’t thinking anything about you. At all.
One of the biggest problems I’ve encountered with guys just starting out improving their social skills is this:
There’s this lingering, painful belief (again, probably left over from junior high and high school) that: “everyone is talking about you.”
That: “everyone is thinking something about you.”
That if you were rejected: “everyone would know it and be laughing at you.”
To start eliminating these beliefs, ask yourself this question:
What are you thinking about them?
The answer is probably nothing . Or it’s just you thinking that they are thinking something about you. How convoluted.
The truth is that people don’t have time to worry about you. They don’t have the time or the interest to care if you get rejected. No one cares about you.
Don’t take that as an insult. Take it as a pleasant feeling of relief .
No one has 5 seconds to spare in our busy world to “talk about you” and to “think about you.”
If you get rejected, nobody knows or cares or remembers, except you.
Think about it. How many guys have you seen get rejected, and now you are thinking about them getting rejected, and talking about it with other people?
None.
So stop worrying about that shit.
Carefree Guys Know That “What You Look Like” Isn’t Just About Your Face
Let’s do an experiment.
Imagine you’re in a room where the lights are dim. You’re sitting on one side of the room with a clipboard and pen. On the other side there are 10 women lined up.
You can see them only from the neck up. Pretend there’s a wall blocking the rest of their bodies. All of them have shaved heads and shaved eyebrows. They have on no makeup. Their eyes are closed. Their mouths are closed. The expression of their lips is flat and blank.
Then the lights come on.
You now have 20 seconds to put the women in order from most attractive to least attractive. Essentially you have 2 seconds per face to make a decision.
And what is the only thing you really have available to judge? Bone structure. That’s pretty much it. All other variables have been stripped away.
Now imagine that the experiment is conducted again with the same 10 women.
However this time they are all dolled up, ready for the club. We’re talking high heels, makeup, hair from the salon, cleavage busting out everywhere, legs for days, you name it. Also, there’s no wall this time to block the view.
The lights come on and you have 20 seconds to put them in order.
Afterwards the two lists are compared.
Do you think that the ordering of the women on the two lists is going to be the same?
Most certainly not.
The girl you ranked #1 for facial structure could have wound up with #10 after you saw her rocking bootydoo (you know...that’s where her stomach sticks out further than her booty do).
Meanwhile, #10 for facial structure could have a body that is literally oozing sex from every opening in that skimpy little dress. She’s dripping with confidence, banging hot, and she knows it.
The reality is that any resemblance between the two lists would be coincidental.
This thought exercise demonstrates that only a tiny fraction of “what you look like” has to do with your facial structure.
Most of “what you look like” has to do with: posture, body language, the confidence with which you carry yourself, physical fitness, clothes, haircut, and how your facial hair is shaved. All things that are within your control.
Even your teeth, eye color and skin tone are within your control.
The only thing that is out of your control is bone structure.
But ironically, that’s the very thing most guys are referring to when they fall victim to: Women Are Only Attracted To “Good Looking Guys.”
They are associating “good looking” with bone structure.
Now imagine the above experiment conducted with 10 men. You don’t need to think through the details this time. By now it should be clear that what a man looks like, what you look like, has almost nothing to do with your bone structure. It has everything to do with variables that you can control.
So let’s be very clear.
Women care about what you look like.
But “what you look like” has very little to do with your facial bone structure and very much to do with all the other factors within your control.
Here’s the reason guys still associate “what you look like” with bone structure.
Some time, long ago, they were told that they were ugly. This was back when they were kids and “all the other factors” really weren’t in their control.
That’s because when they were kids, their mom picked out their clothes. Their mom decided their haircut. Maybe they had zits and mom wouldn’t buy them acne cream.
Whatever.
Because everything was out of their control, they made the association that “ugly” basically means their face (or more specifically, bone structure).
And because they were now convinced they were ugly, they never took control of all the other factors once they became adults. They never got in shape. They wear shitty clothes. They have bad haircuts. Maybe they still have acne, because….well, no point in fixing that when everything else is a mess.
So they have allowed all the other factors to fall apart and the entire package looks like shit. To fix that, it’s time to take control of all the other factors….
Mental Seed #6 : What You “Look Like” Breaks Down Like This:
- 50% is how you carry yourself. It’s the confidence you exude in how you talk, stand, walk, and sit. It’s your body language. It’s the smirk on your face. It’s the tone of your voice. It’s the fire burning in your eyes. It’s the confidence of locking eyes with a really hot chick at the bar and walking over there with no hesitation. Walking over there while all the “good looking guys” are standing around waiting for the buzz to kick in so they have the confidence to do something. This 50% is completely within your control.
- 25% is your body fitness. It’s the muscles in your arms, shoulders, stomach, chest and back. It’s the confidence that comes from lifting. It’s the confidence that comes from the way women look at your body when you pass by (the look that says: “yum, yum, yuuuum”). This 25% is also completely within your control. And the best part is, you don’t need to be a bodybuilder. You just need to get off your ass and start pumping some weight. More on this later.
- 25% is your face. However as we said before, your haircut, the way you shave your beard, your skin, your teeth, even the color of your eyes are all within your control. Only a small percentage relates to your bone structure. And that part doesn’t matter. Get all the other variables under control, and women will find you sexy as hell.
Mental Seed # 6 : I control what I look like. No excuses.
Carefree Guys Know That Money Has Nothing To Do With Attraction
Are there sugar babies in the world? Yes. Are there golddiggers? Yes. So doesn’t that mean that women are attracted to money?
To correctly answer that, let’s change the question to be as specific as possible.
Are women sexually attracted to money? In other words, do women feel an uncontrollable tingling between their legs if they find out a guy has money.
The answer to that is 100% no.
However, can nice guys and beta males get women to hang around them if they have money?
Sure.
Some women are happy to have these guys buy them drinks and fancy dinners and expensive gifts. Maybe even take them on trips. Maybe pay their bills. And will they sleep with these guys after all this stuff?
Sure. At least sometimes. Hell, sometimes she’ll even marry them.
So let’s be clear. There are definitely some women out there who are attracted to money. But that doesn’t mean they are sexually attracted to the man holding the money.
Nothing about money sparks primal, uncontrollable, panty dripping, sexual attraction.
You don’t need money to create that.
What you need to do is (1) ingrain the Carefree Man Belief System into your soul and (2) implement the single secret to attracting women which you will learn about in the next chapter.
Spoiler: The secret has nothing to do with money.
Mental Seed #7 : Money is not sexually attractive. Lack of money is an excuse I will never use again. Forget the golddiggers. There are an unlimited number of hot, sexy women out there that I will attract once I start showing the Carefree Man belief system to the world.
Carefree Guys Have The Delusional Belief That All Women Want Them...Badly
You may be scratching your head on this one, saying: I can’t see myself believing that. I can’t just believe that all women want me...badly .
If you’re saying that right now, then guess what? It’s not just right now . It’s all the time.
You are currently walking through this world with essentially the opposite belief: that women don’t want you.
That belief is reflected in your demeanor, your confidence, your body language, your aura, everything. That belief is oozing out of you whether you know it or not. (Again, you’ve made the choice to project this opposite belief to the world).
And when women see a guy who projects to the world that no women want him, guess what happens?
They don’t want him either.
The world will accept whatever you project. That’s the second thing I want you to write on a sticky note and post on your bathroom mirror.
If you project that you’re a loser and no women want you, the world will accept that.
If you project that you have the delusional belief that all women want you, badly. The world will start to accept that too.
That’s the Law of Assumption. When you assume something (anything, it doesn’t have to be about women), everything about your body, mind and soul will project that to the world. And the world will start to accept it.
Think about a confident guy walking down the street with his head held high and a fire burning in his eyes. The kind of guy who looks at women with the look that says “I know you want me.” Basically a really attractive guy.
What is he projecting to the world? That women want him. And guess what...they do.
Right now you’re probably assuming and projecting to the world that women DON’T find you attractive. And guess what...they don’t.
Think about it.
You’ve heard the statement: assuming makes an ass out of you and me . Let’s change that statement to reflect the new reality you are building.
Mental Seed #8 : Assuming gets me ass and even more puss-e.
Final note on this. Carefree guys also assume that everybody is crazy interested to know what they are thinking about and talking about. (And not in a judging them way that we tossed out earlier under rejection and what other people thing. But rather in a wow, you’re such an interesting person, I’m deathly curious about whatever it is going on in your mind. Please bestow your knowledge on me, kind of way ).
You will see this assumption come up a lot later in the conversation sections of this course.
That’s the belief system of the Carefree Man. Throughout the course we’re going to make those ideas grow until they become your own and you naturally project them to the world.
When that happens, you will be unstoppable with women.
Chapter 2: 25 Day Action Plan to Change Your Life
The Action Steps that make up the 25 Day Action Plan to Change Your Life are found in your two bonus supplement guides:
- Daytime Unleashed
- Nighttime Unleashed
The supplements are designed to be used in conjunction with this course.
The Action Steps in the supplements are CRITICAL to your success. As I’ve said, if you just read this course and don’t do the action steps, nothing is going to happen.
The Action Steps should be done in order.
Start with Daytime Unleashed and then move to Nighttime Unleashed.
Trust me. If you power through these action steps no matter how scary they are, it will change your life.
The Action Steps start off very easy and then get progressively harder. Don’t bother reading past the Action Step which has been assigned. Do the assigned one. When complete come back to this guide and keep reading.
This guidebook will tell you when to stop reading and which Action Step to go complete.
Just like this:
Stop reading now. Go to Daytime Unleashed. Read and complete Action Step 1.
Then come back here and pick up with Chapter 3.
(Really….don’t keep reading. For the words below to truly change your life, you need the dopamine rush, that will come from completing the Action Step, to be coursing through your veins. Without the dopamine, it’s just a bunch words. Your choice.)
Daytime Unleashed Action Step 1
Chapter 3: How Women Work, The Secret All Guys Want
Women Are Not Logical & Attraction Is Not Linear
Understanding this is critical to your success. Giving women logical, rational reasons why they should be attracted to you will get you nowhere.
This is why women are not attracted to “nice guys.” It would be logical to be attracted to a nice guy. Women will even say they “want a nice guy.” They say that because it sounds logical. But that’s not really what they want.
Let’s be more specific. In the office and at school, women can be logical. But when it comes to attraction. When it comes to seduction, women are not logical.
They are emotional.
Logical reasoning is linear (i.e. first you do A, then B, then C, etc).
Emotional reasoning is not linear.
Listen up:
A good looking guy, with a good job, but no idea how to create a positive emotional reaction in a woman, can give some girl the most logical, methodical explanation as to why he would be the best candidate for her affection.
And she will sit there, bored to tears, thinking about nothing more than how she can get away from this guy.
A less attractive guy, with no job, who sleeps on a basement couch, but knows how to rip through her soul with a fucking tsunami off fun, positive, and challenging emotions, doesn’t even have to show interest in her. In fact, he can even playfully tell her he’s not interested.
And she will be fascinated by this guy. She will go to bed thinking about him. She will dream about him. And she will absolutely find a way into his bedroom (or couch in this example) and fight off other girls to get there.
That’s not a joke.
The reason it may seem like a joke is because it’s not logical. There is nothing logical about the picture I just painted for you.
But that’s the way it is.
The takeaways from this section are as follows:
- When you have conversations with women, you will sometimes say things that are not logical, especially at the beginning (you will see exactly how to do this in the examples later). What you say may not be logical, but it will be fun, positive and challenging.
- When you have conversations with women, you will not stick to a logical order. Fun, positive and challenging conversations can start anywhere, and will switch from topic to topic regularly and without warning.
*****
There is one exception to be aware of before we move on. One logical thing which must be overcome when seducing a woman is this:
Are You Safe?
Other than are you safe , everything else is emotional.
We’ll cover how to overcome the are you safe issue throughout the course.
Fun, Positive & Challenging Emotions
Everything in this course is about changing YOU , so you can deliver the tsunami of fun, positive and challenging emotions that women can’t resist.
Deliver them naturally, powerfully and instantly, at the flip of a switch.
And, VERY IMPORTANT : So you can take them away. Instantly. At the same flip of the switch.
That’s it. Right there.
That’s the secret that guys search for their entire lives . Fill her with fun, positive and challenging emotions. Then take them away. Over and over.
Fun, positive and challenging emotions are like an attraction drug. And what happens when you take a drug away from an addict?
They will do anything to get more.
Everything you will ever hear about in seduction; everything you will see throughout this course; everything you will ever see ANYWHERE about this topic, is just some version of the secret above.
This course is about transforming you into a man who does that. Naturally. Without thinking about it.
Once you are that version of yourself, women will be chasing you down.
Women’s Emotions Are Affected By Their Surroundings
You’ve probably noticed that women like to decorate. Stores around the world have shelves lined floor-to-ceiling with decorative stuff targeted at women.
Women are constantly trying to “perfect” their surroundings because of this emotional impact.
But surroundings doesn’t just mean curtains, vases, rugs, candles and incense. Surroundings also means people. And in the case of attracting women into your life, people means YOU.
When you are talking to a woman, YOU are impacting her emotional state. That’s why we are going to transform you into a man who fills her with fun, positive and challenging emotions.
Women Are Attracted To Guys Who Go For What They Want
Going for what you want means you are interested in the world. You’re not afraid to take risks. You have passions and dreams.
The more you go after what you want, the more attractive you become.
And in the conversation sections of this course, we’re going to learn all about how to express your interests, passions and dreams to her as you ramp up the attraction.
Going for what you want also means approaching her with confidence and without hesitation. However, very important:
Getting her cannot be the only thing you want. If that’s all you want, you will quickly become smothering to her. So when you approach her without hesitation, you need to subsequently give her the feeling that you can (and very well might) walk away without hesitation.
Everything is giving and taking away. Pushing and pulling. Reaching and withdrawing. Having other interests, passions and dreams, and being able to express those things to her allows you to “withdraw” from simply being interested in getting her .
In your bonus supplement 7 Mental Exercises To Get You Laid, we’re going to cover how to be prepared to express these passions and dreams to her.
Women Think About Sex All The Time Too
Women are horny creatures. Just like men. Society really tries hard to convince you that this is not true. But it is 100% true.
A few months ago I was flying home from a mastermind group. The plane had just landed. You know that moment when the plane finally gets to the jetway, there’s a ding, and every unbuckles and stands up? It was that moment.
I stood up, but of course the aisle is jammed and I’m going nowhere. The guy in front of me doesn’t stand up. So as I’m standing there waiting for all the slowpokes to move (you always wonder don’t you -- have these people ever deplaned before???) the guy in front of me pulls out his phone, as everyone does.
He goes to his messages and texts “I’m home,” to a female name. OK I probably shouldn’t have been text-spying on him, but whatever.
So a message comes back. It wasn’t long, but it made me smile because it proved the point I’m always trying explain to guys (why guys don’t believe this, I’m not sure).
The message said: “thank God cuz I need to be fucked so bad”
The point is: women are horny. They’re going to fuck someone. Your job is to make yourself the kind of man that they pick over someone else.
The Female Attraction Formula
The formula to attract women is simple.
- Phase 1: Smash or Pass
- Phase 2: Curiosity
- Phase 3: Fascination
- Phase 4: Captivation
There is a chapter dedicated to each of these 4 phases coming up. I’m going to show you in excruciating detail HOW to do this (everything from what to say to how to move your body).
For now, let’s go through each phase high level. Also note that the names of these phases doesn’t matter. Don’t get too hung up on what I’ve called them. They simply represent the level of emotional investment she has made in you.
Let’s dive into that further.
Phase 1 - Smash or Pass . In this Phase she’s made zero emotional investment in you. This phase is really brief. A couple seconds. It’s basically, when she first sees you, do you meet the fundamental criteria for a potential sexual partner.
Fundamental criteria doesn’t mean that you’re the “best looking” guy in the room. It just means: is your grooming in order? Do you have all the variables about “what you look like” under control? If you do, then you are simply not dismissed as a potential sexual partner.
Phase 2 – Curiosity: This is the first few minutes of you talking with each other. Here she is starting to experience fun, positive and challenging emotions from you. If you’re delivering these emotions correctly, she’s becoming curious about you.
In this phase she’s making a low emotional investment in you. Low emotional investment means that the conversation is generally limited to topics that don’t involve each person revealing anything too deep or personal (don’t worry, we will cover how to make conversation like this ad nauseum in later chapters).
This is the phase where you will begin touching her on certain “public” areas of her body (for example, fist bumps, high fives, upper back). See your bonus supplement How To Touch Women for comprehensive examples of how this works.
Phase 3 – Fascination: In this phase she continues to experience fun, positive and challenging emotions. She starts wondering if you are actually a real, genuine, no filter guy, or if she’s just dreaming.
In this phase she starts making a high emotional investment in you -- i.e. the conversation turns to topics that require her to reveal more personal things about herself. This phase also involves you revealing more personal information about yourself.
The conversation is deeper and an emotional connection begins to develop between the two of you.
This is the stage where she really starts pondering if you could be an actual sexual partner. Like not just in theory, but for real.
Phase 4 – Captivation: This is the phase where she’s highly attracted to you. It’s time to close the deal.
Stop here. Go to Daytime Unleashed and Complete Action Step #2. Then return and pick up in Chapter 4.
Daytime Unleashed Action Step 2
Chapter 4: Attraction Phase 1 - Smash or Pass
Have you seen the smash or pass game on Youtube? If not, it’s very simple. The host of the video approaches a girl or a group of girls, shows them pictures of guys, and asks them: “smash or pass?”
Smash or pass basically means: would you sleep with this guy based solely on what you see in the picture?
EVERYONE is playing the smash or pass game in their head, all day, everyday.
You play it all the time. Every time you see a women and you’re mind says “damn…” That means smash . When you see bootydoo, pass .
And how long does it take to make that decision? About 2 seconds. Literally the time it takes for your eyes to give her a quick up-n-down . Decision made.
Does this sound familiar?
Does this sound like the thought experiment we performed earlier in Make Women Chase You? The one with the 10 women - bald headed vs. dressed for the club.
And what did we determine at the end of that experiment? That what you look like IS important. But what you look like has little to do with your facial bone structure, and everything to do with variables within your control.
Well women are playing the smash or pass game too. All day, everyday. And they are certainly playing it with men who approach them with sexual interest.
So here’s how the smash or pass game works out in real life:
- A smash decision means that based on what you look like (again almost completely within your control), are you a potential sex partner. That doesn’t mean she’s going to have sex with you. It just means you’re not immediately and permanently dismissed. That’s the first hurdle.
- A pass decision means you’re immediately and permanently dismissed. Once this happens, she might still talk to you for a minute, but it’s pretty much over.
So to get a smash decision, we need take charge of all the variables we can control.
Always Be Ready - If keeping yourself fresh and groomed regularly isn’t a habit, you need to make it a habit starting immediately. If you don’t, it’s very easy to let hot women walk by using the excuse of “I wasn’t ready.” That’s a bullshit excuse.
Starting today you need to always be ready. Leave the house everyday with the intention of approaching women. And being groomed and ready to approach. Even if you’re just going out to run errands.
This doesn’t mean you have to approach every women you see. It just means you’ll be ready when a hottie appears right in front of you. Because for some reason, hotties always seem to appear when you’re “not ready.” So from now on, always be ready.
Hair - Have a fresh, crisp haircut. Ideally one that best fits your face. There’s tons of information out there to help you with this. Google this topic or find a good barber and have them figure it out. Believe me that a good haircut can dramatically impact “what you look like.” At a minimum, just make sure you have a fresh trim.
Beard - If you’re gonna shave, be freshly shaved. If you look good with a 5 o’clock shadow, take advantage of that. I know lots of guys that rock the 5 o’clock. Here’s the key. Make sure the 5 o'clock looks intentional . Not like you were just lazy and didn’t shave. How? Shave all around the edges of the 5 o'clock. Shave off the bottom ½ inch of the neck-line so there is a crisp line separating the 5 o’clock from the rest of your neck. Shave the lines on the cheek so they are crisp. Shave any stragglers at the top of the mustache (just under the nose). Lots of facial hair styles can look great -- as long as they look like you did it on purpose (not just that you’re unshaven).
If you rock a beard, take some time to learn about grooming styles. How you groom your beard can have a dramatic impact on what you look like. You can actually groom to make your chin look more prominent. How? Here’s the basics:
Think of your beard in 3 sections: the goatee (section a), the sideburns straight down to the jaw (section c), and the section in between those two (section b). Let’s say your razor has 3 shaving lengths from 1 to 3, with 3 being the longest. You start by shaving your entire beard with a 3 (the longest). Then you shave everything except the goatee (section a) using a 2 (the middle length). Then you shave the sideburns section (section c) with a 1 (the shortest length).
This makes your beard fade from short to middle to long as you look from ear to chin. That creates the illusion of you having a longer, more pronounced jaw and chin.
Any visible ear and nose hair - removed.
Fingernails - short and clean under the nail.
Fragrance - obviously you should be showered, clean and deodorized. Hit yourself with 2 squirts of an expensive cologne. I like one squirt on upper body and a second on the crotch. Because who knows, that second squirt could be useful later.
Poor man’s hack: if you’re a broke college dude, swing by the mall before any hot date, go to the fragrance section in a department store, and hit yourself with the testers.
Oral Hygiene - Brush your teeth. Pop a tic tac. A lot of people find chewing gum just makes them feel more confident. It’s a strange phenomenon. Try it out. Plus women always ask if they can have a piece of gum. Which you can give them, but only with conditions that they do something for you (more on handling tests coming up soon).
Clothes - This is where a lot of guys get hung up. And fashion advice can be a book in and of itself. And what looks good will be different for everybody. So let’s keep it simple.
The best fashion for you is clean, crisp, fresh looking clothes that you are comfortable in. Whatever you can wear that makes you feel the most confident, that’s the best choice for now.
In general stick to solid neutral colors. Don’t be too “loud” with your clothes, unless you are intentionally peacocking.
Differentiator - You should have between 1 and 3 unique differentiators. These are generally watches, bracelets, necklaces, rings and earrings. The choice and style will vary depending on your personality and what makes you comfortable. But trust me, I’ve seen guys with ears full of rings having women falling all over them. So anything can work, when you make it work.
Ideally any differentiator should have a little story associated with it. Or it should have some meaning or significance to you (like you got it on some trip, or someone important gave it to you). This is because a differentiator is a common thing to come up in initial conversation with a woman. She will notice it, might point it out, and ask about it. So have something to say about it.
If you literally can’t think of anything to say about your differentiator, you can just tell her: “cuz it looks good” (confident wink, confident smirk).
Don’t overlook the differentiator. Get at least one. It’s important to make you subtly stand out from the crowd.
Body language - Here’s the basics:
When you’re walking -- Walk with intention and purpose. Walk slowly. Don’t scurry like a little mouse. Walk around like you own the place. Walk into a room like you own the place. Walk around like you’re the baddest ass motherfucker in the world. Because in your world, you are the baddest ass motherfucker. So act like it.
When you sit -- Open up. Uncross your legs. Uncross your arms. Take up more space. Sit in a way that takes up as much space as possible.
When you stand -- Legs open at shoulder width. Back straight. Head held high. Hands out of your pockets. Or if in your pockets, thumbs out. Don’t put your entire hand in your pocket.
Eye movements - slow and intentional. Keep your eyes from flickering and fluttering. Make strong eye contact with women. This doesn't mean stare. It means if you make eye contact with a women, look at her like a fucking man. Don’t let your eyes pull away because you’re scared. Look at her like you know everything she could possible say. Look at her like you’re the keeper of her soul.
Head movements - Slow and intentional. No head jerking. No head bobbling. You don’t need to head bobble in agreement with everything people say. Just look at them with a smirk.
Slow down everything you do . Really, slow down. Talk slower. Walk slower. Chew slower. Put your fork down on the table between bites. Turn your head to look at things slower. Answer slower. Pause for dramatic effect.
Have a deep voice. To this one you may be saying: you can’t change your voice . You can’t make yourself have a deep voice. People try that and actually hurt their vocal cords. Well here’s the secret of a deep voice: Slow down. That’s it. Slow your talking down. The faster you talk, the more your voice will uncontrollably rise in pitch. So slow it down.
All of the grooming items above are critical from Day 1. So read over the list again if necessary and get these things in order.
For body language, start by improving one thing. If it’s walking with slow intention and purpose (walking like you own the place), then consciously practice improving that everywhere you go. Spend a week on it. Do it until it feels natural. Then pick something else. Focus some energy on these things and you will master them. Then it will be natural and you won’t need to think about doing it.
Chapter 5: Attraction Phase 2 - Curiosity
Congratulations! You’ve arrived at the most exciting part of this course. This is where we really start approaching and talking to women.
We’ve discussed that approach anxiety may be the largest issue holding men back. But underlying the fear of approaching is really the fear of getting stuck in awkward silences and not knowing what to say.
If you always know what to say, or have a strategy to easily keep conversations going, then approaching women becomes so much simpler and more comfortable.
In this chapter we are going to talk in depth about how to start conversations and keep them going.
Let’s begin.
How To Start Conversations & Keep Them Going
Assumptions
Assumptions are a great way to spark curiosity. Imagine if someone was randomly like:
“Hey, you’re from Texas aren’t you?”
You’d be like: “No. Why do you think that?”
You’d be curious why they thought that. Having something assumed about you sparks curiosity in a natural, almost knee-jerk way. Without even thinking about it, you just ask why someone thinks or asks that.
It works the same way with women. If you just assume something about them, they will be curious why you thought that.
The great thing about assumptions is they can relate to anything. The most common starters would be assumptions about her name, where she’s from, what she does for fun, where she goes to school, what she likes to drink, what music she likes, etc.
The topics can be all the same as questions you might ask when meeting a person. But instead of ‘what’s your name,’ it’s ‘you name is [blank], isn’t it.’ Or instead of ‘where are you from?’ it's ‘’You’re from [blank] aren’t you?”
You’re going after the same information as you would when starting any conversation. The only difference is that instead of asking a question to kick things off, you assume something.
Assumptions are incredibly easy because they don’t need to be right. In fact, they should generally be wrong. If you see a chick wearing full yoga gear and you assume ‘hey, you’re a yoga girl aren’t you?’ it’s not nearly as interesting as ‘hey, you’re a rock climber aren’t you?’
So generally we will make assumptions about women that are wrong. We’ll do lots examples of this coming up.
Tactic Arsenal
I want you to think of assumptions and all the other techniques we’re going to discuss as tools in an arsenal.
Not every tool is right for every situation. You don’t need to use every tool all the time, and you don’t need to use a tool every time you speak. That would just make you seem like a pain in the ass.
For example, if you were talking to someone and all you did was make assumptions, it would be really annoying.
So the point of the tools is to sprinkle them in throughout the conversation. Once you master enough tools, you’ll be able to mix all these techniques up, which will make everything flow naturally.
Nicknames
Nicknames create a small emotional connection between people. It’s also a great topic of discussion -- like: “so what was your embarrassing childhood nickname?” Or if you’re making an assumption: “i bet your embarrassing childhood nickname was [blank].”
That can lead to not only getting the nickname, but the story associated with it. In turn, you might share your embarrassing childhood nickname with her.
If childhood nicknames don’t come up, then giving the girl a nickname during the conversation (based on information you find out about her) is also great.
Cliffhangers
Fun conversations have cliffhangers. They leave an open conversational thread which can be returned to later (a great way to keep conversations going when a stopping point for another topic has been reached).
We will refer to these as cliffhangers, unclosed loops, or unclosed conversation threads.
Because the conversational thread is open, it also creates some mystery because she may have wanted to know more about it, but you’ve already moved on to something else.
Cliffhangers also allow conversations to be nonlinear because they come from abruptly ending one topic, moving to another, and then returning to the first topic at some point later.
Creating cliffhangers is closely related to the next topic, changing the subject.
Changing The Subject
This is one of the best tactics for keeping conversations going.
If you become great at one thing during this course it’s going to be changing the subject.
We’re going to talk about this a lot. Changing the subject allows you never to get stuck during a conversation, because you can (and should) randomly change to something else.
You do it right in the middle of some conversational thread. And that creates a cliffhanger which can be returned to later.
Have you ever noticed that women are usually great multitaskers. That’s because their mind moves from topic to topic in a quick, non-linear fashion. That’s how their mind works and is another reason why logical conversations don’t spark attraction.
You will see lots of examples of changing the subject coming up.
Why We Never Ask Questions This Way Again
Starting conversations and keeping conversations going is the biggest problem guys have with women.
Some would argue that “approach” or “approach anxiety” is the biggest problem. But one of the fundamental reasons why “approach” is so hard is because guys aren't’ sure what to say and are afraid of getting stuck in awkward silences. This is usually more of a concern than flat out rejection.
So we’re going to talk about “what to say” and “how to keep the conversation going” a lot. Starting now.
Let’s start with three of the most basic topics that will be part of any “getting to know you” conversation.
- What’s your name?
- Where are you from?
- What do you do for fun?
You should NEVER ask these questions in this format again.
Why?
Two reasons.
First, because it’s boring. Everybody asks questions this way. And as we’ve been discussing, doing something different sparks curiosity simply because it’s different.
The second reason is that a boring question leads to a short, boring answer. Usually an answer that doesn’t provide an easy transition to further discussion.
In that case, usually guys just ask another boring question. Then they get another boring answer. And the conversation turns into a boring and uncomfortable question and answer session. Which I assure you makes her bored out of her mind.
So let’s change this: Let’s change to starting conversations off with an assumption (a guess), as often as is possible.
Instead of: “what’s your name?”
Say: “You’re name is Amber isn’t it?”
This sparks curiosity. Why would you say that?
The most common response to this is something like:
“No. Why would you think that?”
“It’s Jenny. But what makes you say that?”
You’re response is something like:
“I don’t know…...you just look like an Amber to me.”
“I’m not sure…...you’re just giving me that Amber vibe.”
“I’m not sure…….there’s just something about you.”
You should look curious, like you’re really pondering it.
Like: what is it that makes this girl look like an Amber. You should have a curious smirk on your face.
Hold for one or two beats, pondering, then move on (comprehensive examples coming up.)
By moving on and changing the subject, you’ve left a cliffhanger. Because the fact that something caused you to think her name was Amber is still sitting out there. You haven’t revealed WHY you though that yet.
That’s an unclosed loop which will keep her wondering.
When it comes to assumptions, women are like elephants; they never forget. Even if you’re further along in the conversation at this point, she has not forgotten that you looked at her and thought her name was Amber.
And she will HAVE TO find out why. Women can’t help wanting to know why people think things about them.
Also, this is another example of being non-linear. You said she looks like an Amber. You said there was something about her. And then you moved on to something else instead of finishing this conversation thread. That’s non-linear.
You will see an immediate increase in attraction from women when you learn to change the subject (i.e. bounce around non-linearly, with your conversation).
Keeping Conversations Going
Cliffhangers Are Not “One-Time” Events
It’s always great to find one cliffhanger and drag it out. That simply means that you are dragging the suspense out. You are deferring your answer.
Again, you don’t use every tactic all the time. Imagine if all you did was drop cliffhangers and then just never answered anything and drug out the suspense forever. That would make you a true pain in the ass. So use moderation. Sprinkle it in.
Dragging out cliffhangers is also a great tactic when you really don’t have a reason (or haven’t come up with one yet).
For example, assume you said: “I don’t know…...you just look like an Amber to me.”
Now assume that she’s really interested at this moment, and she’s pressing you for more information. Who knows, maybe her sister’s name is Amber and it’s really weird that you said that and not only does she HAVE TO know, but she has to know NOW .
You just keep deferring (with a playful smirk and tone, as always).
“I’m gonna have to think about it.”
“I’m not sure, there’s something though.”
“I’ll have to think about it and i’ll tell you later.”
Then you change the subject (move on).
Here’s an example:
Name Example
You: “You’re name is Amber isn’t it?”
Her: “It’s Jenny. But what makes you say that?”
You: “I don’t know…...you just look like an Amber to me.”
You: “What about your middle name? Is that Amber?”
Her: “Nope. Jenny Elizabeth Henderson.”
You: “Hmmm….well, good to meet you Jenny Elizabeth Henderson. I’m Mark Thomas Parker. But my friends call me Shaggy.”
(you two shake hands).
Her: “(hopefully giggling) Why do they call you Shaggy?
(what do we do here? Answer the question? No -- we defer. Leave cliffhangers).
You: “Wait a second. You think I’m gonna tell you the history of the Shagster when you haven’t even shared your nickname? Com'on. Cough it up. What was your embarrassing childhood nickname?”
Her: “(blushing) I can’t tell you.”
You: “Pshhht…(looking away)... looks like we can’t be drinking buddies anymore Jenny Elizabeth Henderson.
Her: “If I tell you, you can’t laugh.”
You: “I won’t…...the Shagster might...but I won’t.
Her: “Forget it lol! (maybe punches you in the shoulder)”.
You: “Ok seriously. Pinky swear (you take her hand - yes touching - and do a pinky swear). See. The oath has been taken. The Shagster will not laugh.”
Her: “(hesitant) It was Peaches.”
You: (you are now non-reactive for a few beats -- you don’t do anything, just look at her after she revealed the secret. Then after a few moments of tension building, you act like that’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard. Don’t laugh, because you swore not to. But close your eyes. Smack your forehead with the palm of your hand. Put your head in your hands. Shake your head. -- remember ALL PLAYFULLY).
Her: “Stop it! You swore not to laugh. (maybe punches your shoulder again)”
You: “(still trying to recover from you disappointment) I’m not….I’m not laughing…..I... …..just…... PEACHES? (repeat the name with emphasis) Your name was PEACHES? (then playfully-sarcastic) That's the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Her: “Alright Shagster...it’s your turn. Spill it.”
You: (and now you move into telling a story)
Let’s break it down.
First. How much longer and more interesting was this conversation than:
Question: What’s your name?
Answer: Jenny.
This was a full minute of fun, playful conversation. You may have even touched her 3 times. The handshake. The pinky swear. And the punches to the shoulder (if you were lucky enough to get some).
And the best part, we haven’t even gotten past names and nicknames yet. And with the story of the Shagster coming up (naturally followed by the story of Peaches), there’s easily another 1 to 2 minutes of conversation left to be had, just on this topic.
Second. Let’s look at “But my friends call me Shaggy.” Now obviously you don't need to use Shaggy. Use whatever nickname you really had as a kid (and have a really funny story prepared about the nickname -- see your bonus: 7 Mental Exercises To Get You Laid.)
What did this line do? It sparked curiosity. Telling anybody that your nickname is [whatever] is going to spark curiosity. Then when you tell the story about the nickname, it creates a small emotional connection. Why?
Because the story will most certainly involve mom or family members or friends or camp counselors or whatever. And since she has all of those people in her life too, it’s a topic you can both relate to.
When you can both relate to something, that creates an emotional connection.
And randomly telling her that is an example of another important tactic for keeping conversations going:
Tell Her Something About Yourself
You can always tell her something random about yourself. Something that will spark curiosity.
Just blurt it out.
A nickname is a great one that you can use in every conversation you have with a woman for the rest of your life. But you can literally say anything:
You: “What about your middle name? Is that Amber?”
Her: “Nope. Jenny Elizabeth Henderson.”
You: “Hmmm….well, good to meet you Jenny Elizabeth Henderson. I’m Mark Thomas Parker.
(you two shake hands).
You: “Well, since I had no luck guessing your name, I’ll just tell you something about myself. Last week I went skydiving for the first time.
- Last week I joined a yoga class. Now look me up and down and tell me, what about me looks like a “yoga guy.”
- Last week I moved here from Cincinnati. You’re my first date (wink).
- Last week I took a class on how to make sushi. And I accidently sliced off the tip of my latex glove, which ended up in the spicy salmon roll I was making. And then the instructor came around to sample the rolls. And……...
The point is that it can be anything. And it can (and should be) something random. It does not have to be a logical thing. It does not have to be a logical transition (names to skydiving or Cincinnati or sushi rolls….whatever).
You can even skip the “Well since I had no luck guessing….” part:
- I’m Mark Thomas Parker and I’m a yogaholic
- I’m a sushiholic
- I spend 3 hours a day writing copy for [whatever] magazine
- I spend 2 hours a day under the hood of classic cars
- I spend my Saturdays teaching underprivileged youth to do [whatever]
It can be anything randomly thrown in after you introduce yourself. It should be something that random and playful and sparks curiosity.
Baby Step Topic Changes
So now we’ve seen an example of assumptions, cliffhangers and changing the subject.
But let’s be very clear about changing the subject. It does not have to be dramatic. It does not have to be names to Cincinnati. It can be small. In the original example it started with guessing her first hame. Then guessing a middle name. Then going to nicknames.
Similar topics are still topic changes.
Dynamic Nicknames
Once you get her childhood nickname (or give her a nickname based on information you learn about her), don’t keep it static.
Use any variation you want. In this example, as the conversation went on through the night, you can refer to her as any of these: peaches; peachster; peachmeister; peach cobbler; peachy; peachy keen; Peaches Henderson; lil Miss Peach, and dozens more.
What If She Doesn’t Have A Nickname?
You: “Wait a second. You think I’m gonna tell you the history of the Shagster when you haven’t even told me your nickname? Com'on. Cough it up. What was your embarrassing childhood nickname?”
Her: “I never had one.”
You: “Pshhht…(looking away)... looks like we can’t be drinking buddies anymore Jenny Elizabeth Henderson.
Her: “No seriously. I never had one.”
You: “(looking skeptical) You’ve got to be kidding. Your mom never called you sweet pea or sugarplum or freckle butt ?
Her: “Swear. Nothing like that. My mom was very (whatever).....”
You: “Hmmm….well, we’re coming up with a nickname for you tonight. That’s my new mission. Before the night is out, Jenny Elizabeth Henderson is going to be called…….(looking thoughtful).....We. Shall. See. (teasing smile).”
Notice the cliffhanger here. We haven’t finalized the conversation about her nickname.
Even better, notice the implication here: you’re going to spend the rest of the night together while you figure out what her nickname will be.
She might even start making suggestions about what her nickname should be as the attraction builds.
Be playful in a situation like this. Give her a couple nicknames throughout the night and see which one fits best. Base the name on things you learn about her or things she does during the interaction.
Fooling Around
Let’s dispel a myth. Some guys may look at this conversation and think: Pinky swear game? Nicknames? This sounds childish. This would never work on a hot woman.
Pay attention here because this is critical: Everyone wants to feel like a kid again.
People (especially women) spend half their waking lives figuring out how to look young. How to feel young. How to be young.
You’d be surprised how many hot babes were ugly ducklings in high school.
The prom queens of the world often end up becoming washed up hags. And it’s the girls nobody noticed that come into their primes later in life.
Lots of girls trembled their way through their youth just like lots of guys did. If you can make her feel like a kid again even for a moment (but this time with fun, positive and challenging emotions that let her feel the excitement of youth she never had). If you can whisk her away to some exciting emotional world where she can have carefree fun, she will be entranced by you.
Equally important: It’s not the line . It’s the man . It’s not what you say. It’s who is saying it. This should be ingrained in your minds by now. A man who fully embraces the Carefree Man mindset and projects that to the world, can have the conversation above with a 10 and she will be deathly curious about him.
Where Name Assumptions Work Best
As I’ve said, not everything works in every scenario. In some cases, guessing her name won’t fit the circumstances.
I find this works best when you and her “just notice each other.”
For example, you turn in your chair at the coffee shop and she’s right there. Your eyes meet. And you say inquisitively: “You’re name is Amber isn’t it.”
Or you walk up to the bar. You make eye contact with the cute bartender, you look inquisitive and say: “Your name is Amber isn’t it?”
These are examples of you two “just noticing each other.”
Where this doesn’t seem as natural is, for example: You see a girl from a distance. During the day or in a bar. You maybe even check each other out a few times.
Then you walk toward her, and she sees you coming.
In this case, you’re not “just noticing each other.”
So it seems less spontaneous to walk 20 feet across a room, while she sees you coming, and then to say: “Hi, your name is Amber isn’t it.”
(But again, it’s the man. A carefree man can make almost anything work).
So if the circumstances don’t seem right, here’s you fallback line:
“Hi, I’m [whatever]. Who are you?”
This is different from “what’s your name?” And different is good.
Where Are You From Assumptions
Let’s move on to the next common starter topic: Where are you from?
You’re going to see all the same conversation techniques here: assumptions, cliffhangers and changing the subject.
You can start this conversation thread with a general assumption. Or an assumption based on information you know about her already. For example:
“Well with a nickname like Peaches….you gotta be from Georgia.” (something that is plausible, but probably wrong).
“Well with a nickname like Peaches…...you gotta be from Alaska.” (something that doesn’t make sense, and is clearly wrong).
Or, if you had just used the fallback name opener: “Hi, I’m [whatever]. Who are you?” and you don’t know anything about her:
“You look like a Texas girl to me.”
“You seem like you’re from Italy.”
“You’re a Cali girl aren’t you?”
Let’s compare this to name assumptions.
With name assumptions, it’s easy to be wrong, because there are millions of names.
Remember: wrong is what you want. You want her to wonder why you think that.
With where are you from assumptions, it’s a lot easier to be right. And you don’t want to be right. That’s boring.
For example, if you’re hitting on a girl in LA and you're like: You’re a Cali girl aren’t you?
She’s like: “yeah…….. (like fucking duh!)”
Obviously that would be stupid and pointless.
So make sure that when you guess, you guess wrong .
Where Are You From Example 1
Let’s start with the Peaches scenario follow up:
You: “Well with a nickname like Peaches…...you gotta be from Alaska.”
Her: “What? What does peaches have to do with Alaska?”
You: “Peaches are a cold weather fruit.”
Her: “No they’re not.”
You: “You clearly know nothing about peaches.”
Her: “ YOU clearly know nothing about peaches. Peaches are usually grown in the south, like Georgia and South Carolina.”
You: “So is that where you’re from then? Georgia or South Carolina?”
Her: “What do you think based on my accent?”
You: “Hmmm…..I”m not sure. Tell me why your mom called you peaches and then I’ll guess.”
Her: (and now is an opportunity for her to tell you story)
Breakdown:
- You’re playing on (and using) the nickname.
- You’re guessing something wrong (and not logical bonus!), which spurs curiosity and conversation.
- You say things she disagrees with (not logical stuff) to spark intrigue.
- You change the subject so disagreeing doesn’t turn into arguing (because arguing is pointless).
- She tells you guess, and you don’t do it (you defer it) thus showing her that you’re in control of this conversation and you don’t just do what she says.
- You leave a cliffhanger that you will guess where she’s from later.
- You transition so now she’s telling you a story.
- You’re non-linear by going “backward” from ‘ where she’s from’ , to the origin of the nickname.
Now, what if the assumption was more generic, like:
“You look like a Texas girl to me.”
“You seem like you’re from Italy.”
“You’re a Cali girl aren’t you.”
Then, when she asks what makes you think that, you’re response is very similar to earlier:
“I don’t know (curious smirk)…...you just look like a Cali to me.”
“I’m not sure (curious smirk)…...you’re just giving me that Texas vibe.”
“I’m not sure (curious smirk)…….there’s just something about you. You must at least be of Italian descent.”
Notice that “you must at least be of Italian descent” is another assumption.
This is the opposite of asking the boring: “so are you of Italian descent?” to which she would probably say “no” and then you’re stuck dealing with her boring answer.”
Baby Step to Descent
Where are you from usually means “where were you born and raised.” From there, an easy baby-step topic change is to go to family descent.
It can also sometimes can create a small emotional connection if there is something you can both relate to (like if she’s half Russian and half Cherokee and you’re half Russian and half Jamaican, then you have the Russian half in common - you can both relate to a Russian parent, perhaps).
It can also provide great information when you’re trying to determine her nickname. For example if she’s of British descent, you might caller Fish-n-Chips or Sassy Little Tart or Austin Powers.
Hopefully this goes without saying, but don’t call her anything offensive if there’s a derogatory nickname in the vernacular for people of that descent.
Where Are You From Example 2
Let’s do a full example:
You: “Hi, I’m Dylan. Who are you?”
Her: “Tara.”
(the hands shake)
You: “You seem like you’re from Minnesota.” [ASSUMPTION]
Her: “Why do you think that?”
You: “I don’t know……..say ‘ Cheese Curds ’ for me and let me hear your accent.” [DEFERRING YOUR ANSWER / TELLING HER WHAT TO DO]
Her: “Cheese Curds.”
You: “Yep (nodding to yourself in confirmation). Definitely Minnesota through and through.” [CONTINUING NON-LOGICAL REASONING]
Her: “I’m from New Jersey.”
You: “Oohww……(looking playfully disappointed) [TEASING HER]
Her: “What?”
You: “I have a love / hate relationship with Jersey girls. [MILD PUSH - LIKE PERHAPS YOU HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE WITH JERSEY GIRLS OR SOMETHING]
Her: “Oh really? Why?”
You: “It’s complicated. Guess where I’m from?” [NOT ANSWERING THE QUESTION / CHANGING THE SUBJECT]
Her: “Say ‘ Cheese Curds. ’”
You: “I’m not from Minnesota.” [PLAYING ALONG, BUT NOT DOING SPECIFICALLY WHAT SHE SAYS]
Her: “I’m gonna guess……...Florida.”
You: “(acting like that’s the dumbest guess ever - palm to forehead, shaking head, etc.) Seriously…...do I look like I hunt gators in one of those boats with the huge fans on the back?” [TEASING HER. PLAYFULLY ACTING LIKE SHE’S CLUELESS]
Her: “So where are you from then?”
You: “(snaps fingers in an “ah ha” moment) It just dawned on me, you’re middle name is Valentina isn’t it?” [DEFERRING YOUR ANSWER / CHANGING THE SUBJECT / ASSUMING HER NAME -- remember in this example we hadn’t assumed anything about names at the beginning]
Her: “(laughs) Valentina?”
You: “Yeah don’t all Jersey girls have the middle name Valentina? [NON-LOGICAL STATEMENT]
Her: “(lol) I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You: “What’s your middle name then Tara from the Jersey Shore. [ASSUMING SHE’S FROM THE SHORE, WHEN SHE NEVER SAID THAT]
Her: “I didn’t say I was from the Shore.”
You: “Well where are you from then Tara Valentina?” [REITERATING THE MIDDLE NAME ASSUMPTION]
Her: “It’s Kendra. Tara Kendra Larson from Cherry Hill New Jersey.”
You: “Well good to know you Tara Kendra Larson from Cherry Hill New Jersey.
(shake hands again - getting to the last name is like meeting again -- never sacrifice a chance to touch).
You: “Tara Kendra huh? Was your nickname ‘ TK’ when you were kid?” [JUST KEEP GOING...LET THE CLIFFHANGERS FROM BEFORE HANG OUT THERE UNTIL THEY NATURALLY COME BACK UP].
Her: “You haven’t told me your middle and last name.”
You: “My last name is Laughlin. But you have to guess my middle name.” [PARTIALLY ANSWERING (because remember if all you do is defer and not answer then you’re just a dick) AND GIVING HER AN INSTRUCTION TO GUESS.]
Her: “I’ll guess your middle name, but only if you tell me why you have a love / hate with girls from Jersey first. And don’t say “it’s complicated.””
You: “So I dated this Jersey girl a while back. She was hot and sassy. Kind of like you (wink). But she did this thing…..Ahh I just couldn’t stand it.” [SHOWING PRESELECTION / PARTIALLY ANSWERING THE QUESTION, BUT DROPPING ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER].
Her: “What?”
You: “I can’t say.” [TEASING / DELAYING]
Her: “Tell me or I’m not guessing your middle name.”
You: “Alright I’ll tell you. But you have to guess my middle name and tell me the origin of Larson. That’s Scandinavian right?” [AGAIN, YOU CAN’T JUST DELAY. BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS THROW IN CONDITIONS TO SHOW YOU’RE IN CHARGE OF THE CONVERSATION]
Her: “Tell me what she did.”
You: “Do we have a deal?” [MAKING SURE SHE’S AGREEING AND NOT JUST TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO]
Her: “Deal.”
You: (with fun, playful animation and drama) “OK…..oh this is bad…...ok she used to love fresh squeezed lemonade. She’d buy these big bags of lemons at Costco. But her hands would get tired, so she’d put the lemons on the countertop, and then……. sit on them. Then she’d squeegee all the juice into a pitcher. It was disgusting. And the countertop was all sticky all the time.” [TELLING A COMPLETELY ILLOGICAL STORY / BEING OVERLY DRAMATIC]
Her: (hopefully laughing) “That’s bullshit!”
You: “Swear………(pausing, looking at her seriously while she recovers laughing) Oh my god, you do that too don’t you? It’s a Jersey thing isn’t it? Oh My God that’s it, I’m not attracted to you (say that playfully / with a smirk). [CONTINUING THE ILLOGICAL STORY AND THEN TURNING IT ONTO HER / PUSH HER WITH THE DISQUALIFIER: I’M NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU]
Her: “I do not squeeze lemons with my ass. You are so full of shit.”
You: “So what’s my middle name?” [CHANGING THE SUBJECT / GOING BACK TO AN OPEN LOOP]
Her: “Probably ‘ full of shit’ is your middle name.”
You: “Wrong. Try again.”
Her: “(thinking).....Pinocchio.”
You: “You are not good at this game…..which means…….you must be Polish. Is Larson a Polish name.” [CHANGING THE SUBJECT]
Her: “Norwegian. My grandparents live in Norway.”
You: “How many times have you been over there?
Her: “As a kid we used to go every summer. But it’s been a while.”
You: “If I went to Norway, what would you recommend I do while I’m there?”
And now you can transition into her talking about her experiences as a kid in Norway, what she liked over there, what her grandparents do (or did) for a living. Whatever. A slightly more in-depth, personal conversation which starts the transition into Phase 3 of the Attraction Steps.
In addition, there are still some unclosed loops hanging out there from that conversation (like why you assumed she was from the Shore). You can always return to any of those later on. For example, she does something Snooki-ish, you can ask: “You sure you’re from Cherry Hill? That was an awfully Shore-ish move.”
Also, she still has to guess your middle name. So return to that later on with a subject change like: “Wait a minute, you still haven’t guessed my middle name.”
Remember that you don’t have to go in any particular order. Start with an assumption about something, and just go from there. Leave cliffhangers and return to them later.
Compare that conversation to:
You: “Hi, I’m Dylan. What’s your name?”
Her: “Tara.”
You: “Where are you from?”
Her: “New Jersey.”
You: “What’s your middle name?
Her: “Kendra. What’s yours?
You: “Paul.”
You: “So um...are you of European descent?”
You see the difference. This second conversation is stiff, boring and even uncomfortable. It doesn’t spark curiosity. It’s just bland. It shows why lots of guys have so much trouble keeping conversations going.
Lighthearted Disqualifiers
Disqualifiers are another great technique to sprinkle in. Remember this is one tool in the arsenal. You don’t need to use it all the time.
Disqualifiers are “pushes.” Remember that everything in attraction is giving and taking away. Pushing and pulling.
You generally don’t want to start with a disqualifier. Hold off for at least a minute or two. Better yet, hold off until you feel some curiosity from her. If a girl has no curiosity about you and you drop “too bad I’m not attracted to you.” She’ll just be like “great, piss off then.”
Disqualifiers should be delivered playfully, as a joke. Have a smirk on your face. They need to be lighthearted. My favorite disqualifiers are:
- I can tell we’re not going to get along
- It’s too bad I’m not attracted to you (then later: that’s it, I’m definitely not attracted to you)
- It’s too bad we’re not attracted to each other (for a bit later in the conversation)
- You’re such a nice girl, you shouldn't be hanging around a guy like me
- You’re such a nice girl, we really need to find you a nice boyfriend
The first one is the simplest. You can drop this randomly (remember not too often) whenever she says pretty much anything.
Her: “Yeah me and my family are big Trojans fans.”
You: “That’s it. I can tell we’re not going to get along.”
Her: “Yeah I only eat tofu cheeseburgers.”
You: “That’s it. I can tell we’re not going to get along.”
The next one is great if she says something where your initial reaction might be “that’s really [something positive].” For example:
You: “That’s really cute. It’s too bad I’m not attracted to you.”
You: “That’s really funny. It’s too bad I’m not attracted to you.”
You: “That’s really sexy. It’s too bad I’m not attracted to you.”
This is a pull/push combo. You pull her in with “that’s really [something positive].” And then you push her away with “Too bad I’m not attracted to you.”
The next one is great (generally a little further into the conversation) when you both agree on something. Particularly like a “wow we agree” moment.
For example: She says something that you totally agree with.
You say: “That is totally how I see it. Wow we would make the perfect couple. It’s too bad we’re not attracted to each other.”
Basically drop it at a time where you can start off with: “wow we would make the cutest couple, or the sexiest couple, or the funniest couple, etc.”
The last two you can use anytime she says something sweet or innocent.
Her: “And then this baby chipmunk came running across the grass and jumped right onto the lounge chair.”
You: “Wow…...you’re such a nice girl, you shouldn't be hanging around a guy like me.”
Remember everything is said as a playful joke. Then just change the subject.
Your Surroundings
You can use anything in your surroundings to change the subject. If you see anything you’re curious about, just randomly change the subject to that. For example:
Her: “Probably full of shit is your middle name.”
You: “Hey look at that (you point to an 1800s spitoon the bar is using as a tip jar).”
Her: “What?”
You: “Is that a spitoon?”
Her: “I have no idea.”
You: “It is. It looks authentic too. So honest opinion, do you think they should bring back the spitoon?”
Her: “That’s gross. A bunch of guys spitting their cigar mouths into the same bucket.
You: “It’s a spitoon, not a bucket.”
Her: “Whatever.”
You: “So anyway, about the lemons. I’m not kidding, she used to squeeze the juice by sitting on them.”
So literally anything even remotely interesting in your surroundings can be used to quickly change the subject. Particularly useful at a heated moment when she’s calling you full of shit, for example. Just change the subject. Change, change and change again. She will find it attractive as hell.
Also, I brought the conversation back to the lemons quickly above, just to keep the example short. No need to. Drag the spittoon thing out as long as it remains interesting. And if that leads to a new conversational thread, unrelated to the lemons, change the subject to that.
You can come back to the lemons sometime later, or not at all. Just keep moving forward in the conversation and let things come back up naturally.
What Do You Do For Fun Example
You: “Hey, I’m Logan. Who are you?”
Her: “Kacee.”
(the hands shake)
You: “You know…..you seem like a yoga chick to me.” [ASSUMPTION]
Her: “Why makes you think that?”
You: “I don’t know……..you seem like some of the girls in my yoga class.” [DEFERRING ANSWER / SAYING SOMETHING TO SPARK CURIOSITY]
Her: “You’re in a yoga class?”
You: “What, you don’t believe me?” [NOT ANSWERING]
Her: “(playfully) Let me see you do a pose.”
You: “Is that your best pick up line? You must be from LA.” [ACTING LIKE SHE’S HITTING ON YOU / CHANGING THE SUBJECT / ASSUMPTION]
Her: “Why?”
You: “Because LA girls are forward like that. Knowing a guy for 15 seconds and asking him to pose naked.” [ILLOGICAL ANSWER]
Her: “Lol I did not say pose naked. I said give me your best downward dog.”
You: “Seriously, if you want to check out my butt you can just ask.” [CONTINUING TO ACT LIKE SHE’S HITTING ON YOU]
Her: “I do not want to check out your butt.”
You: “So are you a yoga chick from LA or what? Let’s see your downward California dog. [CHANGING SUBJECT BACK TO OPEN CLIFFHANGERS]
Her: “Why, you want to check out my butt?”
You: “That was not an original line. (playful smirk / wink)” [TEASING].
Her: “Yeah I’ve been doing yoga for 6 years. Yoga and pilates. I’m also vegan.”
You: “That’s it. I can tell we’re not going to get along.” [DISQUALIFIER].
Her: “Why, you predigest against vegans?”
You: “Of course not. But I can’t date anyone who's been doing yoga less than 7 years.” [POSSIBLY LOGICAL ANSWER WHICH TURNS OUT TO BE RIDICULOUS].
Her: “Oh really…..how long have you been doing it?
You: “Last Tuesday was my first class.”
Her: “(laughing) I see. So that’s why you won’t show me your downward dog.”
You: “Yeah….on Tuesday the instructor told me that my downward dog looked more like a dead dog, then she kicked me out of the class. [ILLOGICAL ANSWER]
Her: “(laughs). I believe the first part. But I doubt the instructor kicked you out.
You: “You’d be surprised…..that instructor was a little fiesty. I think she was a vegan from LA.” [CONTINUING ILLOGICAL / GOING BACK TO VEGAN AND LA]
Her: “I’m not from LA.”
You: “Do tell.”
Her: “You’ve never heard of where I’m from.”
You: “I’ve heard of the world. Wait a second (playfully nervous)……..are you from somewhere else…. [ILLOGICAL ANSWER]
Her: “I’m from Sullivan Illinois”
You: “(Palm of hand against forehead / looking at her like she’s pitiful) Where?” [ACTING LIKE THAT WAS THE DUMBEST ANSWER IN THE WORLD]
Her: “I told you you’ve never heard of it.
You: “Do they have running water there?” [PLAYING UP THE SMALL TOWN STEREOTYPE]
Her: “Where are you from?”
You: “Hold on now, we have to get to the bottom of this. What is your last name? I need to Google Sullivan Illinois and see if everyone has this same last name. [NOT ANSWERING QUESTION / CONTINUING STEREOTYPE]
Her: “Tell me where you’re from first Mister Dead Dog. And then I’ll tell you my last name.”
You: “I’ll give you one guess. And it’s not Sullivan Illinois.” [NOT DOING WHAT SHE SAYS / GIVING HER THE TASK TO GUESS]
Her: “New York.”
You: “Close. I’m from Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, Misses Kacee Something from Sullivan Illinois. [GOING BACK TO THE LAST NAME W/O DIRECTLY ASKING FOR IT]
Her: “Jackson. Kacee Jackson.”
You: “Good to know you Kacee Jackson. I’m Logan Foster.”
(shake hands -- hold for a slightly longer embrace at this point)
Her: “So what do you do for fun Logan Foster?”
With her starting to ask you questions, you’ve reached curiosity and are starting to move towards Phase 6.
Stacking Assumptions
Let’s take a look at this line from the previous conversation:
You: “Is that your best pick up line? You must be from LA.” [ACTING LIKE SHE’S HITTING ON YOU / CHANGING THE SUBJECT / ASSUMPTION]
The key thing to notice is the assumption “you must be from LA.” Not long before this, you made the assumption that she was a yoga chick. That is still an open conversational thread. She hasn’t given you any indication if she’s a yoga chick or not at this point.
That shouldn’t stop you from making another assumption if flows naturally with the conversation.
We said earlier that if all you do is make assumptions, then you seem like a dick. That’s true. But that shouldn’t stop you from “stacking” a few assumptions one after the other if the situation allows it flow naturally.
Stack a few, and then the conversation will flow back to each one in due time.
Acting Like She’s Hitting On You
Let’s look at this sentence again. This one accomplished a lot for us.
You: “Is that your best pick up line? You must be from LA.” [ACTING LIKE SHE’S HITTING ON YOU / CHANGING THE SUBJECT / ASSUMPTION]
Acting like a girl is hitting on you is a great way to tease. You can sprinkle these in whenever you want. Here’s a few good ones:
- Is that your best pick up line?
- Stop trying to hit on me, I’m not that easy.
- You can tell me fun stories about your (dad, mom, brother, grandmother, etc), but I’m not ready to meet them yet. I only met you 5 minutes ago (or a week ago, or whatever the case may be).
- Stop looking at me like that. It’s making me uncomfortable.
The first two can be used anytime she says something that could be interpreted as a pick up line (even if it’s a stretch). Like:
Her: “Wow, I love your shoes. My brother has a pair just like them.”
You: “Wow, is that your best pick up line?”
Her: “That’s really sweet that you volunteer at the puppy shelter on Saturdays.”
You: “Hey… stop trying to hit on me, I’m not that easy.”
The next one you can drop anytime she finishes telling a story about her family.
The last one you can drop usually when she’s laughing hard and/or looking at you with “those eyes.”
As always, fun, playful, tone. Smirk.
Signs She is Curious About You
The conversations above are examples of how to make her curious about you.
Building curiosity should not take long. Anywhere from 1 to 10 minutes; but let’s say 5 minutes as a general rule of thumb.
Here is the key takeaway: if you practice and master the techniques above, so you can have fun, challenging conversations that spark curiosity, you only need to cover some combination of these topics: names, nicknames, where you’re both from, descent, what both people do for fun, surroundings.
You may also drop in a playful disqualifier here or there.
You don’t need to make it more complicated than that. You don’t need to cover an encyclopedia of topics. Remember you have about 5 minutes, so there is no need cover more topics at this point → as long as you can create a fun, challenging conversation using these topics.
Important: remember that it’s the fun, challenging WAY that you interact that makes her curious. It’s not the topics.
It’s the man. Not the specifics of what the man is talking about.
The reason why lots of guys get stuck in awkward silences and (a) never know what to say and (b) think that they need to be prepared with pages and pages of smalltalk topics, is because the WAY they discuss the topics above is boring, and because it’s boring it goes by way too fast.
For example, if a guy just does a question and answer session about the topics above, he could cover everything above in 30 seconds. Then he’d be standing there in awkwardness wondering what to say next.
So change the way you make small talk by mastering the techniques above. At the beginning it may feel uncomfortable to talk like that. Uncomfortable is good. It’s what we want. There’s a land filled with beautiful women on the other side of discomfort.
And it’s only uncomfortable because your current speech patterns are just not used to it. So pick one technique at a time and practice it. In the Action Steps included in the Daytime and Nighttime supplements, you will see many of these techniques specifically assigned for practice.
Finally remember that curiosity about you should be established in about 5 minutes. If you’ve been talking with her for 10 minutes or more and she doesn’t appear interested in you, it’s time to move on. This happens. Remember that every guy who appears to attract women with ease has 10x the number of rejections under his belt as compared to successes. So if it seems to be going nowhere after 10 minutes, thank her for the great conversation and move on.
Now if you’re doing things right and she’s becoming curious about you, these are the signs you will see:
- She starts asking you questions.
- She re-initiates the conversation if you’ve paused.
- She playfully hits you in the shoulder.
- S he’s laughing.
- She’s smiling.
- She’s playing with her hair.
- S he’s shifted her body so her shoulders and waist are facing you.
- Her feet are pointing at you.
- She’s looking at you just a little too long before looking away.
- S he’ll move locations if you suggest it.
- She does what you say when you counter her test (see more on tests later).
- She is engaged in the conversation you’re both having.
You should see a couple of these signs, but you don’t need to see them all. It should be pretty obvious whether she’s enjoying talking to you or not, so don’t over-complicate what you ‘need to see’ before moving on to the next phase.
Here’s an extremely important takeaway about transitioning from Phase 2: Curiosity to Phase 3: Fascination, which should put your mind at ease: you have a lot of wiggle room here.
There is no precise moment. There’s no distinct line that says: leaving Phase 2 and entering Phase 3. This is because you can (and should) transition back and forth between low investment banter (Phase 2 small talk) and high investment conversation (Phase 3 deeper conversations -- to be discussed shortly) during the transition.
In fact, not only during the transition, but all the time. Because low investment banter (Phase 2) is the lightest, most playful form of conversation, and should be mixed into all deeper conversations that happen later in the process.
In other words, you never completely stop Phase 2 low investment banter. Because you never stop, there is no exact transition time, and should make things feel much more smooth and natural.
In the next chapter, we’ll discuss how to interject Phase 2 low investment banter in between deeper conversations.
Storm The Beach - How To Walk Into A Bar
Before moving on to deeper, high investment conversations, let’s look at the best way to walk into a bar and make a party for yourself or your group.
You can do this alone. Or if your wings are doing this too, then you guys can really cover a lot of ground quickly.
When you walk into a bar or club, you’re going to Storm the Beach.
What does storming the beach mean in a military context? It means you charge forward blowing up everything in sight. You blast the first thing in front of you. Then you blast the next thing. And the next thing. You swarm. You hit everything in sight.
That’s what we’re going to do. Except instead of actual explosives, we’re going to hit women with IEADs.
IEADs - Improvised Explosive Attraction Devices
This may sound complicated, but it’s really quite simple.
Storming The Beach and Dropping IEADs means simply this: You’re going to walk through the door and start talking to every girl that is in your path. The purpose of this is to (1) start talking and hitting on women immediately because it only gets harder the longer you wait and (2) to establish preselection all over the place. More on these points after the examples.
The moment you walk through the door, look around. The first girl you see, you walk up to her. It doesn’t matter what she looks like. You’re not trying to bag this one. You just need to start talking and establishing preselection. So just do it. No thinking. No hesitation.
Walk up to her like you own the fucking bar. Stick out your hand. Have a huge smile on your face and say:
“Hi, I’m Caleb. I’m shy.”
That will make her laugh.
Then you immediately go into an assumption. Your intention is to meet, drop an assumption, get one piece of information from her, and leave with an open cliffhanger behind you. Here’ we go:
You walk in. The first one is a fugly who’s just walking by.
You: “Hi, I’m Mason. I’m shy.”
Her: “(laughing, shaking your hand) You don’t look shy.”
You: “You seem like you’re of German descent.”
Her: “Really? Why do you say that?”
You: “I’m not sure (looking at her skeptically)....there’s just something about you. Say Dusseldorf. Actually, say it 3 times, quickly.”
Her: “Dusseldorf. Dussleford. Duselddfse.”
You: “(looking at her like she’s a complete idiot / shaking your head) Nope...definitely not of German descent. And (looking confused), who are you, by the way?”
Her: “I’m Kelsey.”
You: “Good to know you Kelsey (maybe the hands shake again). I’m gonna get a drink, I’ll see you around.”
Then start walking.
The next one is a hottie at a hightop table.
You: “Hi, I’m Mason. I’m shy.”
Her: “(laughing, shaking your hand) Hi. I’m Sophie.
You: “Good to know you Sophie. Sophie, that’s French right?”
Her: “Swiss. I was named after Grandmother.”
You: “Huh. You know, you seem like an East Coast girl to me.”
Her: “Nope. Born and raised right here in Sacramento.
You: “Not exactly a world traveler are you?”
Her: “I’ve traveled!”
You: “Name 3 places you’ve traveled.”
Her: “Canada.”
You: “(interrupting) That’s not really traveling.”
Her: “Ahem... I’ve also been to Australia and New Zealand.”
You: “Not bad. Well my little Swiss chocolate traveler, I’m gonna grab a drink. I’ll see you around.”
Next there are two cute girls at a table right near the bar. The seem to have been watching you talk to Sophie (hopefully - because this is what we want for preselection purposes).
You walk up to the table and stick your hand out to the hotter one.
You: “Hi, I’m Mason. I’m shy.”
Her: “I see how shy you’ve been hitting on two girls already since you walked in.”
You: “What are you a detective?”
Her: “Just observant, that’s all.”
You: “(ignoring that) So if you're Sherlock (looking inquisitively at the hot one). You must be Watson (turning to the less hot one and sticking out your hand).”
Her: “I’m Sabrina. (hands shake)”
You: “Good to know you Sabrina. Hey (pretending to half-whisper) what’s your friend’s name? She’s kinda looking at me all googly-eyes….and it’s making me a little nervous.”
Sabrina: “(giggling) Her name is Vickey. And she’s not looking at you all googly-eyes.
You: “(looking back at Vickey with a confident smirk and seductive eye contact, but saying nothing -- trust me, if she wasn’t looking at you with googly-eyes before, she is now -- pause for 1 beat too long, then). Alright my little detectives, I’m gonna grab a drink while you too keep casing the scene. (allow your eye contact to slowly fade off of Vicky’s...and walk).”
Now you’re at the bar.
Breakdown.
So there’s a couple of great things you’ve done here.
First. Talking to girls in a bar is always harder the longer you wait. Therefore you should always start the instant you walk in. Make it a habit. Talk to any chick you can find right away. It doesn’t matter what she looks like. It doesn’t matter what you say. Just start talking.
Second. By talking to multiple girls in a row in rapid fashion, you’ve made sure that women see you talking to and laughing with other women. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that if a woman (let’s say the hottie you actually want) sees you talking to other women, that hottie will lose interest. It’s the exact opposite.
The more you talk to women, the more other woman will want you. That’s called preselection. This is what you want. By talking to multiple women in a row, you will have preselection-IEADs blowing up everywhere.
Make it a habit to talk to at least 3 women before you even order a drink.
Later it will be easy to go back and talk to all those women again. Really, it’s so simple and natural to initiate conversation with someone that you’ve spoken to already -- even if it was just for a minute.
Once you get a drink, you should continue Storming The Beach. Try to talk to between 5 and 10 women as soon as possible. This will get the night started off right and the bar will become your personal playground.
Remember, all your doing is introducing yourself, making an assumption, collecting one piece of information, and getting out. That’s it.
What To Tell The Fugly One
This is an optional technique you can test out for yourself as you get comfortable.
What you do here is you tell the fugly one that she’s hot. Or looks good. Or whatever.
Remember that different is attractive. The fugly one doesn’t get told that she’s hot, or looks good, that often. So it’s definitely different.
If you tell her that, she will be head-over-heels for you.
Now you might be asking, why would I want that?
Well, as you probably know, women generally go to bars together. They travel in packs. So if a fugly one is walking past, like in the example above, most likely her friends are somewhere nearby.
Preselection means that you’ve been preselected by a female . It doesn’t matter if she’s fugly or hot.
So, if the fugly one is there with 4 hot girlfriends, and you’ve just dropped this line on her, rest assured she’ll be back with her girlfriends raving about some hot stud she just talked to. She’ll literally be drooling about you.
Then all 4 of the hot friends will have to check you out. When they do, you know what they’ll see? You talking to other women elsewhere in the bar as you Storm the Beach.
Now you have 4 hot women that just got hit with a preselection-IEAD from afar (seeing you talk to other women) and with a second preselection-IEAD from someone they know (their fugly friend raving about you). This will make that group of 5 really simple to approach later on. In fact, they will be waiting anxiously for you to come over there.
The reason I say this technique is optional is because sometimes the fugly one can be extremely interested and aggressive at regaining your attention. So just be aware.
Here’s how you would drop the line:
You: “(looking at her like she’s a complete idiot / shaking your head) Nope...definitely not of German descent. And (looking confused), who are you, by the way?
Her: “I’m Kelsey.”
You: “Good to know you Kelsey (maybe the hands shake again). I’m gonna get a drink, I’ll see you around. By the way, you’re looking sexy as hell. (then walk)”
Simple.
What To Tell The Hot One
You already know this. Everything we’ve gone over about conversation in this chapter is what you tell the hot one.
But just so there’s no confusion with the last section:
You tell the fugly one: that she’s hot
You tell the hot one: that you’re not attracted to her
Remember, the opposite of what is expected is different, and different is attractive.
Just to be completely clear: you can tell the fugly one that she’s hot right away.
However, you DO NOT tell the hot one that you’re not attracted to her right away. You wait until some level of attraction has been established. She needs to be curious about you already. So hold off on the “it’s too bad I’m not attracted to you” playful disqualifier until you see some of the signs above about her being curious about you (like laughing, turning toward you, playing with her hair, etc).
How To Handle Tests In a Bar
Guys often ask me how to handle a girls tests. These are often called shit tests. I’m going to give you word for word, the best way to handle the most common shit test you will ever hear in a bar. Specifically: “buy me a drink.”
But before we get there, let’s clarify a few things.
Remember that the underlying goal of this entire training is to transform you into the highest version of yourself. The version that women find irresistable. Now is a good time to remind ourselves of that because we just went through pages and pages of “lines” that will help you get started making free-flowing, endless conversation with women.
Practicing lines and techniques is perfectly acceptable at the beginning. You need a place to start. Just don’t forget that “lines” is not the point. The point is you . When you are the highest version of yourself, what you say doesn’t matter.
With that in mind, why do you think guys get so many shit tests? To answer that, let’s compare everything we just went through about Storming The Beach, to this:
This is how most guys enter a bar:
They walk in. They start scoping it out. They start looking for a table. The start looking for a cocktail waitress. The start looking to order a drink. They start looking around to see who's in the venue. They start looking around to see what kind of hot chicks are around. They start sipping their drink. They start talking amongst themselves in the group. If there’s TVs, maybe they glance at them. They watch people on the dance floor. They drink a little more and maybe start preparing themselves to approach some women. The wallflowers of the group are probably getting ready for a long night of standing there, and standing there, and standing there, forever…..and maybe, eventually, when they’re liquored up enough, some of them, might, approach a woman.
How does that compare to what we went through above?
What you should be noticing is that by the time most guys finally get around to approaching a woman, all the women in the venue have seen him standing around. Shifting from foot to foot. Nursing his beer. Maybe slamming a couple drinks to get lubed up for the approach. Talking to his friends. Whatever.
They know he’s nervous. They know he’s not the highest version of himself. So they shit test the hell out of him if he ever does approach.
On the other hand, when women see you Storming the Beach and talking Woman 1. Then Woman 2. Then Women 5 through 10 (and don’t forget the fugly one who went drooling back to her crew about the stud she just talked to). When they see you doing that, and then maybe, if she’s lucky, you finally arrive to talk to her, do you think she’s going to test you?
Anything’s possible, but most likely not. She’s way too curious for that. You’re Beach Storming approach is so different from every other guy standing around nursing beers, that she is really curious to talk to you.
She’s interested in the guy who all the other women were laughing with. So she’s not going to ask anything which might make you lose interest in talking to her . Anything that might make you ditch her and go back to the other 5 women you were just talking to moments earlier.
The point is, when you become the highest version of yourself and you start dealing with women the way this course has taught you, the amount of times you encounter tests will be greatly reduced.
With that said, nobody’s perfect. So here’s my #1 way to deal with the most common test of them all: “Buy me a drink.”
Generally there are two acceptable ways to deal with this test. You either (1) don’t agree to buy the drink, or you (2) agree to buy the drink, but add conditions to the arrangement.
I’m going to talk primarily about number (2) because I have the absolute silver bullet conditions to share with you (which work every time).
Before we get into that, let me address number (1) briefly. Obviously you can’t just say “no.” That probably won’t get you anywhere. So usually this is either combined with something that turns it around on her. Like: “how about you buy me the first drink, and I’ll buy the next round of drinks.”
That’s saying no, but still sort of adding conditions.
You can also be more aggressive and be like: “I think I’ll pass. But if you want to grab another round, feel free to grab me one as well.”
All of this can work. Remember, anything can work. It’s the man. Not the line.
But in general, these are more aggressive and you’re more likely to lose the girl. So just be aware of that if you want to try these out.
Now, here’s what I recommend instead.
Regardless of if you do (1) or (2), you always start off being non-reactive.
I hear a lot of confusion about what being non-reactive means. So let’s clarify.
Non-reactive essentially means having a delayed reaction. You start off by having no reaction at all (i.e. literally standing there with no change of body position, facial expression, or anything else) for a short time. Then you react.
I recommend 4 seconds. A solid 4 seconds. Don’t rush it. Here’s how it works.
You hear the words: “buy me a drink.”
At that moment, you become frozen in place. If you’re looking and smiling at her, you keep looking and smiling at her. If you’re looking someplace else. You keep looking someplace else. Your body doesn’t move. Your head doesn’t move. You’re eyes don’t move. Your facial expression doesn't change.
You just freeze, in place, and count 1….....2……..3…….4.
What does this do?
Well the first thing is that’s it’s different. The common response would be to agree or disagree with the drink request immediately (i.e. to have an immediate reaction).
Second, because you’re not moving or showing any change in expression, there is no way for her to ‘read’ what you’re thinking. That’s confusing (which is good because confusing is challenging). It also demonstrates that you are the dominant player in the interaction (i.e. when she tests to get a reaction out of you, she can’t get one.)
Third, the 4 seconds (combined with the no change in facial expression / body position) is just long enough for her to wonder if she said something wrong. Or something that would make you walk away.
So you always start with that. And relish the 4 seconds. Don’t rush them. She will wait for a reaction. Play around. Make her wait.
My #1 Silver Bullet Conditions
Here are the perfect conditions to add. Just copy this. It works every time.
So, after the 4 seconds of being non-reactive is up, you say: “ok, I’ll buy you a drink, but only if you do something first.”
She will always ask: “what?”
You say (this is you explaining to her - and you should be animated and demonstrate with your hands/body):
‘ You need to stand up and face me. Then you need to stand nice and tall like a soldier standing in formation. Then you need to put your hand up next to your forehead in a military salute .’ (again, you can be demonstrating all this to her)
‘ Then you need to say in a clear, loud voice :’
“General [Your Name]. This is Lieutenant [Her Name] reporting in for chug, glug and slam duty general sir.”
‘And you have to say it just like that, otherwise it doesn’t count. Then you need to stand there at full attention, with your salute up, until I salute you back .’
(note: in the first part, if she’s already standing, just say “turn and face me.”)
Giving her these ridiculous conditions is hysterical. And it works wonders. Here’s why.
Some women just won’t do it (at first). They’re too embarrassed (or too sober). So you just change the subject and carry on conversation. But rest assured, the drink issue is coming back, probably quickly. So when she brings it up again. You agree. “Definitely I’ll buy you a drink, you just need to do this one teensy weensy little thing first.”
Now you’ve got her stuck between a free drink and acting dumb. Girls who ask for drinks really want free drinks, and they don’t necessarily want to act dumb to get them, so she’s steamed.
Not at you though, that’s the beauty of this. She’s steamed at herself. Because you didn’t say no. You agreed to what she asked for. You said “yes!”
But you added this little caveat that she just can’t handle.
The fact that you’ve got her stuck in this position makes her attraction for you skyrocket.
You have somehow created this power over her that she can’t figure out how to get around. So play with it. Relish it. She may try to wheel and deal. Just hold your ground. You will totally buy that drink, but only if…….
Also keep in mind that most women who refuse at first, will come around eventually (and not too long actually because they really want that drink).
For the women that will do it right away, you say the following:
Just as she’s standing up, you say: “Now make it convincing, or it doesn’t count.”
Then play with her and tease her when she can’t get it right (not if, when lol).
She will forget the words, or mix them up. When she does make her start over. Be like: “nope.” “that wasn’t it.” “try again.” (all playful, obviously).
When she’s finally done, and she’s standing there with the salute, you start raising your salute hand, very slowly.
Do the 4 second count again. Your hand goes from waist level, up to your forehead in 1…..…..2…..….3……….4 (the suspense will be palpable). Then you salute.
Either way, you have passed the test. Even better, you have given her a test and she’s failed (i.e. she did what you told her to do). You literally made her stand up, stand in a goofy position, make a goofy arm gesture, say something ridiculous, and then stand there waiting for you. All to get a vodka tonic. You win. Props.
If she does all that, you’ve got her hooked. You can move to the next step.
And…..you can buy her a drink too, I suppose.
******
It’s time to take action. Go to Daytime Unleashed and complete Action Steps 3 through 7 over the next week or so.
Complete Action Step 3 before going on to Chapter 6.
Complete action Steps 4 through 7 while you go through Chapter 6.
And congratulate yourself. If you’ve made it this far in the course, a life filled with beautiful women is only weeks away.
Chapter 6: Attraction Phase 3 - Fascination
Before you begin Chapter 6, go to your bonus supplement 7 Mental Exercises to Get You Laid. Read through all of the exercises and select 3 that you think are the most relevant to your personal circumstances. Over the next couple of days, complete the three exercises that you selected.
Conversations That Create An Emotional Connection
Alright this is where the rubber meets the road. Or perhaps where the rubber finds its way between her legs and meets the……..well, actually, you’re not quite there yet.
First, you’re going to fascinate her. To make her think: wow, is this real?
When Phase 2 is complete, she’s curious about you. She’s showing the signs of attraction we mentioned above (at least some of them).
In Phase 3 you will continue to deliver fun, positive and challenging vibes. And you will continue to take them away. This is the same as Phase 2.
The difference now is what you’re talking about.
You’re now going to transition into deeper conversation and establish an emotional connection with her. Making a emotional connection involves you sharing things about yourself, and her sharing personal things about herself.
Here’s the best part. You already know what to share.
If you have completed reading 7 Mental Exercises to Get You Laid, then you already have tons of things to share about yourself. You have more than enough to make any woman fascinated.
So let’s put it all together.
There are two ways to have a deeper conversation that establishes an emotional connection:
- Sharing stories
- Asking deeper questions (A deeper question is one that requires her to divulge more personal information. For example, discussing nicknames and what you do for fun, isn’t that deep. Asking her if she could change one thing in the world, what would it be? Now that’s getting deeper.)
BE CAREFUL: Going deeper does not mean “getting all serious.” This is a huge pitfall for guys when trying to transition into deeper topics. If you get all serious, the conversation loses its fun, playful vibe. It becomes boring. It becomes work, like “oh what a pain in the ass that I have to tell this guy all this stuff about me.”
So the fun, positive and challenging emotions stays. The pushing, pulling and teasing stays. What happens is that slightly more deeper/serious intervals occur in between.
Let’s make this crystal clear.
How The Conversation Changes
In Phase 2 - Curiosity the conversation is basically lite and playful the whole time. In Phase 3 - Fascination, the conversation is lite and playful 50% of the time, with more serious topics/discussion/emotions mixed in the other 50%.
(These 50% breakouts are not set in stone. Don’t get hung up on specifics. The point is that mixed into the lite and playful conversation are intervals of deeper/more serious discussion)
This is best demonstrated by example. Here is the same conversation in Phase 2 vs Phase 3 mode.
Let’s say you’re still in Phase 2 (i.e. you’re not completely certain you’re seeing the signs of curiosity):
Her: “As a kid we used to go every summer. But it’s been a while.”
You: “If I went to Norway, what would you recommend I do while I’m there?”
Her: “You definitely need to take one of the ice baths lol.”
You: “I know you think I’m hot, but really…..ice bath.”
Her: “Psssht. You couldn’t handle the ice bath anyway.”
You: “How many ice baths have you taken in your life?”
Her: “A lot.”
You: “Sounds like you must be an ice queen.”
Her: (gives you dirty look)
You: “(putting your hands on both her shoulders to embrace her like she was a pouting child). I’m just kidding Tara Kendra Larson from Cherry Hill New Jersey. I’m sure you’re just a lukewarm queen.”
Her: (hopefully she elbows you in the ribs)
You: So seriously, how does an ice bath work?
Her: “Well it’s not just an ice bath. There’s actually a hot bath, like a jacuzzi, and an ice bath right next to it. And you jump from one to the other.
You: “It’s supposed to help improve the circulation right?”
Her: “Wait….you know what the ice bath is already?”
You: “I saw a National Geographic once in a dentist’s waiting room.”
Her: “Well then you definitely need to try it.”
You: “I’ll keep that in mind. So about downward dog, what tips are you gonna lay on me so………
In this conversation there was basically nothing deep. Just lite conversation mixed with some teasing and then before the topic got stale, you just changed the subject to something else.
There was a lot of great information in here though that you can circle back to later (later in this conversation -- or in any future conversation).
First. You have some new nicknames you can always toss around: Norway; ice queen; ice bath; Scandinavian skinny dipper.
Second. Anything related to jacuzzis, spas, saunas, hot tubs, swimming pools, skinny dipping, showers or baths can have a connection to this story.
Bonus tip - Linking any future conversational thread back to this story helps establish that you two have a shared connection. Here’s an example:
You’re on a second date. She’s at your place for a bottle of wine and a movie. You suggest going down to the jacuzzi:
You: “Hey before we start the movie let’s go down to the jacuzzi for 10 minutes and relax the muscles. There’s only a hot one sorry to say. No ice bath to cool you down.
Her: “I didn’t bring my suit.”
You: “That’s ok, in Norway they jacuzzi in the buck.”
Her: “(smiling) They do not jacuzzi in the buck.”
You: “Well little miss unprepared, I’ll give you an oversized t-shirt and boxers to wear. You’ll look like a miniature Swamp Thing when you climb out dripping wet. But if you’re lucky, you’ll give me a shoulder massage.”
Her: (looking skeptical)
You: “I mean….if you’re lucky I’ll give you a shoulder massage.
Her: “Ok. That’s a deal.”
Here’s how the same conversation might go in Phase 3 (when we’re establishing a deeper connection).
Her: “As a kid we used to go every summer. But it’s been a while.”
You: “If I went to Norway, what would you recommend I do while I’m there?”
Her: “You definitely need to take one of the ice baths lol.”
You: “I know you think I’m hot, but really…..ice bath.”
Her: “Psssht. You couldn’t handle the ice bath anyway.”
You: “So was it your grandparents that took you to your first ice bath?”
Her: “Yeah my grandpa. There was one about a mile from their house. We would go every day about noon. When the ‘sun was high in the sky’ my grandpa always used to say.”
You: “(looking skeptical) Your grandpa said ‘when the sun was high in the sky’?”
Her: “Well he said it in Norwegian. But that’s what my mom told me it meant.”
You: “So were you scared the first time? Like what were the feelings you can remember about going there when you were a kid?”
Her: [Now hopefully she goes into a story about her experiences there. Most memories of childhood are feelings anyway, so prompting the question with “what were the feelings you can remember” should really get her back to those times. This little interval will be more serious as she divulges some personal snippets about herself, her feelings, her past and her family. When she’s done…]
You: “You know you can tell me cool stories about your grandpa all day, but I’m not ready to meet him (sly smile / pause while the push sinks in). I’m just messing with you. (pull her in for a quick side-hug) It sounds like you were really lucky to have a great grandfather. So about downward dog..”
The key takeaway is that the conversation is going along nice and playful, just like in Phase 2. But then something is said or asked which prompts a deeper response. And a deeper response will usually take on a deeper, more somber tone.
This is fine for an interval. JUST MAKE SURE TO BRING IT BACK TO LITE AND PLAYFUL AND CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
Percentage Breakdown
Let’s clarify the percentages. Again, I don’t want you to get hung up on specifics. Just understand the general concept.
In Phase 2: Lite and playful 80% of the time. Perhaps more serious 20%.
In Phase 3: Lite and playful 50% of the time. More serious 50% of the time.
The point is that you are always partially lite and playful, and there can always be some seriousness mixed in. Less seriousness will be mixed in at the beginning and more will be mixed in as you establish a deeper connection.
Storytelling
We’ve been tackling the problem of “I don’t know what to say” pretty hard, but let’s not stop yet. Again, this is probably the biggest hang-up guys have. If we can just get past this, everything else will fall into place.
In Phase 2 - Curiosity, we tackled the problem by understanding that you basically should say whatever comes to mind. We established that changing the topic is good. We established that you should make assumptions, leave cliffhangers, use your surroundings, tell her something about yourself, make up nicknames, and other tactics.
In Phase 3 - Fascination, we’re going to take it to the next level. You’re going to start telling her stories about yourself.
Now if you’re concerned like: “wait a minute…..I don’t know how to tell stories…” just think about this:
Guys struggling with seduction will go online and rant on and on for hours and hours about: “not knowing what to say.”
Wait…...did you catch that? They will talk for hours and hours about not knowing what to say……
What is another name for “talking for hours and hours?”
That’s right. “Telling a story.” Guys will go online and rant out long stories…...about not being able to tell stories……..figure that out….
So, clearly we all know how to tell stories. You just need to make one little change.
You need to start telling your stories to women . Particularly hot women you want to sleep with. And stop wasting time telling stories in online forums.
Now let’s be clear. Stories doesn’t mean dragons and wizards and dumb shit.
It means stories about your life. Stories that will make you a relatable human being.
Stories that will show your emotion. Stories that will allow her to make an emotional connection to you. Stories that will, in turn, cause her to tell you stories back.
It also means stories that demonstrate you’re a “high value human being” (more on that coming up).
Telling stories is one of the oldest forms of human communication. People from all cultures have connected with each other through stories for thousands of years.
People have literally lived their entire lives based on information in stories.
Stories are emotional. Women are emotional.
So let’s start telling your stories to women.
You have lots of stories to tell already, and you are developing more everyday. Almost every action/activity in this course has a two-fold purpose. The purpose that seems obvious, and the story you get that’s related to it.
What To Talk About In Stories
You can tell stories about many things. However there are 7 topics you should focus on. Women cannot help but feel attracted to men who demonstrate these 7 qualities (or at least some of them - you don’t have to tell her a story about every one of them).
These are the 7 qualities which demonstrate a “high value human being.”
1. You being in a Leadership Role
2. You being a great Communicator
3. You Demonstrating Female Awareness
4. You Demonstrating Fun, Positive and Challenging Emotions
5. You Demonstrating that you’re are Improving Yourself Daily
6. You Demonstrating Preselection
7. You Demonstrating High Social Status
Leadership
If you’ve completed the assignments in 7 Mental Exercises to Change Your Life, you should have a story written down about you in a leadership role.
Any story with you in a leadership position is gold.
Women are subconsciously attracted to leaders. Throughout history leaders are the men who keep the tribe/clan/group safe and in order. Leaders are the men who protect and feed.
Now your story isn’t going to be about running tribes and feeding people, but it will still be about leading people in some way.
This can be an official leadership position (like at work or military). Or it can be an unofficial leadership position.
An unofficial leadership position is where you make a decision for a group, and everybody follows, even if you weren’t officially the leader.
For example, let’s say you’re with a group of people at a bar. The bar is closing, but everyone wants the party to keep going. The problem is that no one can decide what to do. This person says this. That person says that. Some girl gets pissed off.
Finally you just announce: “Alright, we’re doing [whatever].” Then you go and do it, and everybody follows your lead.
It can also be a story where you were in an official leadership position. You had 3 people working for you, and your boss tells you 1 of them must be let go. It was up to you to decide which one.
Subtle but important point: The point of the story is not that you’re the leader. The point of the story is something else. It should be a cool story that just happens to demonstrate that you are a leader.
Again, it’s not about bragging that you were the leader. It’s about sharing an interesting story, and the girl you’re talking too sees you as the leader without it ever being stated.
Communication
Great communication is attractive. This can mean verbal, non-verbal (body language) or written communication.
With respect to stories, it can mean (1) a story that demonstrates you in some kind of communication role (like you giving a speech or presentation - where there were great reactions in the audience), or it can simply mean (2) how you are telling a story right now.
If you practice your stories, you will become great at telling them. You will know when to change your voice from high to low. You will know when to pause for dramatic effect. You will know when to be animated and when to be reserved. All of these things will make your story fascinating. And it will make her fascinated about you.
When you communicate confidently, boldly, with the assumption that everyone there is completely interested in what you have to say, you’re going to notice something.
You’re going to notice women looking at you. Not looking at you with glazed over boredom, but rather look at you with those eyes . Yes, the ones that say there is something very interesting in front of her. Something she wants to learn more about.
You might be thinking, I talk to women 1-on-1 . I give presentations . I speak in front of groups sometimes . There are women in the audience. But I’m pretty sure I didn’t get those eyes from any of them.
You probably didn’t.
Are you nervous? Are you filtering? What is your body language like? You were probably not demonstrating great communication.
So start making a conscious effort to improve that. Everything in this course, from the Carefree Man belief system to the conversational techniques will help you accomplish this.
Still not sure where to start, then start by speaking without a filter.
Speaking with a filter (i.e. hiding what you really mean) is a great way to be a boring, shitty communicator. Filtering is boring. Boring is shitty communication.
There is only one “professional speaker” in your life, and that’s you. You may not be presenting to auditoriums filled with spectators, but you should approach every conversation like you are.
You want to dazzle women with your stories.
Dazzling means working on the confidence behind your delivery. It means working on your pauses. It means working on your hand gestures and animation. It means chances in pitch and volume. It means talking faster and slower.
It means delivering punch lines with flamboyance and charisma.
To summarize: (1) be aware of it, (2) make an effort to actively improve it, and (3) practice.
Practicing is the most important part. And if you’re following the Action Steps in this course, you will be talking to women.
That’s a perfect time to practice.
Also, one of the exercises in 7 Mental Exercises to Get You Laid is making a list of 20 new descriptive words to incorporate into your vocabulary. This is a simple task that will help bring your communication to a whole new level.
Female Awareness
Demonstrating Female Awareness basically means demonstrating everything we talked about in the chapter: ‘How Women Work.’
You are aware that most guys try to make logical conversation (basically logical arguments why they are a good candidate for a women’s affections).
You’re aware of it, and you don’t do it.
You are aware that attraction is not linear. You don’t talk in a linear fashion. You change it up. You move around from topic to topic. You keep her on her toes.
You know the signs to look for when women are attracted to men. You can demonstrate this by people watching with the woman you’re attracting.
For example, let’s say you two are at the bar.
You can notice another couple and say: “Look at those two over there. What do you think? Is she into him?”
Then you two can start picking the interaction apart together. Where are her shoulders pointing. Is he leaning in too much (needy). Is he leaning away (non-needy). What are their facial expressions like? Is she tapping her foot like she’s ready to make a b-line to…..well anywhere away from this guy? Does this guy look as about exciting as a hamster?
As you two are picking this situation appart, you are demonstrating female awareness.
You’re stories can include references that demonstrate this as well. Again, it’s not the point of the story, it’s just something casually mentioned that demonstrates female awareness.
For example, you’re telling a story about being at the gym with your friend Hannah and a dude was hitting on her.
You could tell she was totally not into it, but the dude would just not go away.
So you walked over there and, ignoring the other guys presence, said to her: “sweetheart, I’m gonna stop by the store on the way home. I’ve got broccoli, steak, aspirin and tampons on my list. Anything else you want me to pick up baby?”
Then she (smiling) was like “no sweetheart, thank you. But hey can you spot me once before you go.” Which you did. Meanwhile, Mr. Annoying sulked away in the background.
See, you just demonstrated female awareness. You also demonstrated preselection (by telling a story that included a female friend - bonus).
More on Body Language
In Phase 3 you want to employ the following body language techniques:
- When you’re talking to her (telling her stories), you want to be making strong eye contact 80% to 100% of the time. Basically, when you’re talking, you’re looking at her (most of the time). That’s reaching in with eye contact.
- When she’s talking to you (telling you stories), you want to be making strong eye contact 60% to 80% of the time. Basically, when she’s talking, you’re looking at her, but you’re also looking away, glancing around, etc. That’s withdrawing with eye contact.
- When you’re talking to her (telling her stories), you want to be leaning toward her slightly, 80% to 100% of the time. Basically, when you’re talking, you’re leaning in slightly (say a few degrees from standing straight up and down). That’s reaching in with body posture.
- When she’s talking to you (telling you stories), you want to be leaning away from her slightly, 80% to 100% of the time. Basically, when she’s talking, you’re leaning away (say a few degrees from standing straight up and down). That’s withdrawing with body posture.
Everything is seduction is some for of reach and withdraw, push and pull, give and take away. Don’t get hung up on the percentages above, just work on implementing the general concepts.
The reason I bring this up in Phase 3 rather than Phase 2 is because of the following.
In Phase 2, the conversation is a much quicker “back and forth.” If you were leaning in and out with every change in who was talking, you’d look like one of those air-bag clowns that auto dealerships put out on the front curb.
So in Phase 2, don’t worry about this, just focus on the fun, challenging and playful banter discussed in Chapter 5.
However in Phase 3, each person will be talking for longer periods of time while the other person is listening. This allows you to lean in slowly as you talk, and then lean out slowly as she starts talking.
Just be aware of it, and practice it. It won’t be perfect at the beginning. If you find yourself in a situation where she’s talking and you realize you’re leaning in and looking at her too much, don’t panic. Just slowly lean back, and start glancing away a little bit.
Do it all with slow alpha movements even if the timing is a little off.
Back to topics for story telling:
Fun, Positive and Challenging Emotions
We’ve gone over this one a lot. We know this is the fundamental secret to making women irresistibly attracted to you.
Let’s just be clear that this is not limited to how you’re acting in the moment. How you’re acting “now” when talking to a woman.
It should be demonstrated within your stories as well.
First. All stories should have fun and positive vibes to them.
Second. They should (when possible) demonstrate that you were challenging to the people in the story.
For example, you’re telling a story about bungee jumping in South Carolina.
Obviously that will be a fun story with a positive experience. If not then you shouldn't tell it. It should also be a story filled with emotions (all your stories should demonstrate emotions).
So how do you demonstrate that you are a challenging person.
Let’s say the jump instructor asked everyone if they wanted the bungee to be attached to their backs or their feet. As the instructor is going from one person to the next, people are just deciding: back, feet, back, etc.
When the instructor gets to you, you started asking a bunch of questions. Which way is the most fun? Which way gives the biggest rush? Maybe you insisted you couldn’t decide here on the ground, so you want to take up both types of harnesses, and decide after you see other people jump various ways.
Again, the point of the story is not that you’re challenging the instructor. The point is that you wanted to have a specific, wild experience that was full of emotion. And you were going to do what it took to make the best decision for yourself. You wanted the best experience possible. And while getting that for yourself, you just happened to be challenging to someone else.
Another example might be: someone doesn’t want to do something for you. Instead of taking no for an answer, you are challenging and convince them to do it anyway.
Any story that involves you teasing women and making them laugh, demonstrates that you are fun, positive and challenging.
You Demonstrating That You’re Are Improving Yourself Daily
This is any story that involves you learning something new or improving yourself physically. We’ve used the yoga class reference a lot in this training. Yoga, gym, cycling, hiking, any kind of physical activity that you're newly undertaking (or maybe not newly, but undertaking more seriously) demonstrates this.
As part of this course you should be taking 15 minutes per day to learn about some new topic. Any story that involves any of these new topics demonstrates this.
You Demonstrating Preselection
We’ve gone over this a lot. Any story that involves you interacting with, being with, or helping (or them helping you) women demonstrates this.
One last clarifying point about preselection. Some guys mistakenly think that if a girl sees them or hears about them with other women that she will lose interest. Or think he’s taken, or something like that.
That is 100% backwards. Women want guys that other women want. Write that down if you need to. Do everything you can to tell stories, display on social media, and just generally be seen with women.
Also remember that the point is not that you know women. The point of the story is something else, and women just happen to be there.
You Demonstrating High Social Status
In some ways this is similar to demonstrating Leadership.
In Leadership you’re demonstrating how people respond to you as a leader. Here you are demonstrating how people respond to you in general, even if you’re not the leader.
Your stories should demonstrate that other people value your opinion. Other people care about what you say. Other people take your advice and achieve success following that advice.
How to Bring Your Stories To Life
Nicknames and Backstories
Everyone in your stories should have nicknames and backstories. Both of these things will instantly make the listener feel like she can relate to the characters in the story. It gives something she can make a connection with.
Let’s say you’re telling the story about when your friend Clara introduced you to this new diet book that you’re reading.
So you’re like:
“...so Clairol calls me up freaking out. By the way her name is Clara, but I call her Clairol because seriously her hair is a different color like...pretty much weekly. So anyway, she calls me and starts going off about the dangers of beef and chicken and…..”
Here you used a nickname and a tiny backstory (that she’s a hair color nut) which gives the character a relatable, emotional connection. The woman you’re talking to probably has a friend who colors her hair all the time too.
This helps the whole story come to life.
Now Clara is not some generic female avatar who is worried about carcinogens in beef and ranting about a new diet.
She’s now a woman with crimson, aqua and pumpernickel hair, nicknamed Clairol, who’s worried about carcinogens in beef.
Conflict
All great stories have conflict. This doesn’t mean war. This doesn’t mean violence. It just means some conflict between characters.
So let’s say you’re continuing with the Clairol story and you’re like:
“...yeah and then Clairol told her roommate Stephanie about the book. By the way Stephie comes from this honky-type family that always wears shirts saying stuff like: Eat. Sleep. Hunt. Repeat.
Anyway, after she tells Stefs about the book, Stefs goes out and buys a dozen porterhouse steaks that filled the freezer.
Clairol was so pissed that apparently she cooked all the steaks and fed them to the neighbor’s dogs. I’m not sure what happened after that but it’s gonna be interesting….”
Pause for Dramatic Effect
This is a great skill for storytelling. This is a great skill for anytime you’re speaking.
Pausing helps you slow down and creates suspense.
Recall that the first step to developing alpha male body language is to slow down.
The most confident speakers always pause. Great places to pause are at high points and cliffhangers. Pause right before something dramatic is going to happen.
Now that you’re aware of this, you will start to notice that most people rush when they talk. They talk like there’s some verbal race going on and whoever finishes first gets the prize.
But it's actually the exact opposite.
Rushing makes you seem less confident in what you’re saying and it makes the story less interesting.
Pausing may feel a little awkward when you first start practicing, but it’s critical to great speech and great storytelling.
When you really get good at it, you can pause for a really long time. A playfully long time. To the point where the listener is chomping at the bit, waiting to hear what happens next. .
Be Animated with Your Stories
This means change your vocal tone. Change your volume. Move your arms for dramatic effect (not with twitchy, flighty beta movements; but with intentional, calculated alpha movements).
Make facial expressions that emphasize the emotions of your story.
Do all of this with slow, deliberate movements. Stick to the body language principles we discussed earlier in Make Women Chase You. But become animated. Show her your emotional side.
High Investment Questions
In addition to stories, asking questions that get her to reveal deeper, personal information is a great way to create an emotional connection.
Low Investment vs High Investment - This is a simple concept you should understand from what we’ve gone through already, but just in case:
The more she reveals about herself. The more vulnerable she makes herself (by revealing personal information), the higher investment she is making in you.
Revealing her name, that she’s from Akron and the she likes ballet is low investment. It’s not too personal. She’s not too vulnerable.
Revealing her deeply held beliefs about animal cruelty, family ties, and relationships is high investment. It’s more personal and it makes her more vulnerable.
Examples of High Investment Questions:
- So were you scared [when you did whatever] as a kid? Like what were the feelings you can remember about going there?”
- If you could change one thing (about yourself, about the world, about college education, about any ‘large’ topic), what would it be?
- W hat’s something outside of your comfort zone you’ve always wanted to do?
- What’s one important thing I should know about you?
The theme in all of these is feelings, emotions, opinions about large topics, comfort zones, personal information.
When to drop these?
Drop them randomly just like anything else. Drop them anytime you're in Phase 3 - Attraction.
What if I’m not sure that I’m in Phase 3?
Do it like this. Always start with stories. You’re building curiosity in Phase 2, everything is lite and playful. Then something is said which causes a story to be shared. Maybe she shares a story. Then you share some personal relatable story.
Once you’re seeing stories being shared, you’re in Phase 3. Feel free to drop one of these High Investment Questions anytime.
Moving Around The Venue
When a woman spends time with you in different locations, it creates the illusion of knowing you longer.
The illusion occurs even if you’re moving to different locations within the same venue. The view is different in a new location. The people standing around are different. Maybe it’s a switch from bar stools to a table, or to a lounge area.
You don’t need to go overboard, but switching locations with a girl during Phase 3 is a good thing to do. Just make sure it’s your idea. When she agrees, it further demonstrates that you’re in charge of the conversation.
Just say “hey, let’s move over here second.” Then just take her by the hand and go. It wasn’t a question. Assume everything.
So you get compliance on her part, and you get the added benefit of spending time with her in two (or more) locations. If she feels like she has known you longer, it makes escalation that much easier.
*****
It’s time to take action.
Over the next week or so, complete all the exercises in Daytime Unleashed. Power through them. Review the conversation techniques in Chapters 5 and 6. Pick one to three techniques that you really like and just practice them everyday with each Action Step.
Focus on completing the Action Steps, no matter what. The outcome of any step is irrelevant. Every time you do one, you are learning so much through taking action, which is the most important thing.
Keep it up. You’re doing amazing!!