Chapter 7: Attraction Phase 4 – Captivation
Before reading this chapter, go to your bonus supplement How To Touch Women and read that first.
It’s All About The Close
What’s the difference between guys who are pretty good with women, and guys who get laid all the time?
It’s the close.
You have to close. Everything up to this point is meaningless if you never close.
We’ve all heard the phrase, “always be closing.” Well get used to it. If you want to have a flood of women in your life, you will need to close.
Remember what I said at the beginning of this course. Women will chase men. Women will chase you . But there are two things women won’t do: (1) Women won't chase strangers. So you have to initiate. Women won’t make the initial close (usually). So you have to close.
Here’s the part about “the close” that most guys don’t realize:
The close is ongoing. The close is not a one time event.
Think about closing from an auto dealership perspective. Is it a one time event? No. First they close you on a vehicle, then they close on options, then they close on financing, then later they start closing you on service, then a while later they start closing you on selling your car back to them and buying a new one. It goes on and on. It doesn’t stop.
Think about closing from a cruise line perspective. They close you on a specific cruise. Then on stateroom choices. Then drink packages. Then shore excursions. Then before you even finish the first cruise, they’re trying to close you on booking another cruise.
You should see from these examples that “always be closing” does not mean: close person 1 with a one-time event, then close person 2 with a one-time event, then close person 3 with a one-time event.
Instead it means close the same person over and over and over. Incremental closes. Progressive closes. Close for one thing. Then close for the next thing.
Also note that the best progressive closing happens with the two steps forward, one step back approach. It happens with reach and withdraw. Otherwise it’s smothering.
The best auto dealerships and cruise lines do this. They try to close you on something, but if you don’t bite, they change the subject and tell you about something else that perhaps isn’t a close -- just something interesting for you to know about. They back up a little, give you some room, make you their friend by giving you more information about something else, and then try to close again later.
It’s exactly the same with women. You close on a small thing. You change the subject. You keep up the fun, playful and challenging vibe. You close on the next small thing. You pull. You push. You go forward and then you back up.
So as you implement the guidance in this course into your life, you are progressively closing already. Each step forward that you take (like going from upper back touching to lower back touching) is a small close.
Knowing this should make your realize that closing for the number, closing for the kiss, closing for second base, closing for the lay; these are all just small incremental closes.
They are not humongous closing hurdles which must be feared and struggled to overcome. They are just part of moving two steps forward, and then backing up.
Certain incremental closes can also be direct (like asking for her number) or they can be indirect (like making getting her number - not the goal - but simply a logistical necessity). We’ll do an example of this shortly.
With these ideas in mind, let’s look at incremental closing in different situations.
Daytime
Attracting women during the day is generally a much shorter process than at night. You will generally get to only Curiosity (Phase 2). You have to get here obviously. After all, if she’s not at least curious, there’s no reason to give you her number, FB or Snap.
Her investment in you is low. The conversation is enough to spark curiosity, but not enough to build an emotional connection. There most likely hasn’t been any touching, other than a handshake.
In this case the best option (only option really) is to do a direct close. Just ask for her number, FB or Snap.
If this is a college or work situation, go for the FB or Snap under the premise that you’re just building your social network. Remember that we never direct close in environments where we’re going to see that person again.
Assuming it’s an “out in the world” situation and you will never see this woman again, ask for the number.
“Hey let me get your number, I’d like to take you out some time.” Hand her your phone.
“Hey I’d like to take you out for a coffee sometime. What do you say?” Hand her your phone.
Simple.
You’ll kick yourself in the ass for the rest of the day if you talk to a woman for 5 minutes and forget to close for the number. So don’t make that mistake. Go for it, just to see what happens.
If you’ve built enough curiosity in the 5 minutes you’ve spoken to her, she’ll most likely give you the number.
Getting a number during the day generally leads to dates at night, and this is where more subtle, progressive closing occurs.
Nighttime
When you’re following approaches laid out in this course, you should be able to build the attraction up to Captivation.
This means she is beyond fascinated with you. She is giving you her full attention with her eyes and with her body language. She’s laughing at all your jokes. She’s moved locations with you in the venue. She’s twirling her hair. She’s biting her lip. You’ve escalated touching to the point where you’re hands are at least, on her hips, the side of her ass.
If you’ve arrived at this point, then this girl is captivated by you. But remember what I mentioned earlier about women responding differently to you now that you’re implementing the strategies in this course.
I said it was easy to fall back into old routines. It was easy to let her take charge of the situation or start putting her back up on a pedestal. Well, it’s also easy to get too eager. Especially when this is all happening for the first time.
If you’re hands are all over her and her eyes are all over you, and the vibe “is there,” you might be eager to close for going home together.
My recommendation is that you don’t close for going home together the night you meet.
Yes you can certainly try it. Yes it can work. Yes there are women out there who will sleep with you on the first night. But I recommend this alternative instead:
As you transform into the highest version of yourself, the version this course is guiding you to become, you will have lots of women chasing after you.
And what do women chase? They chase things they can’t have. They chase men who are “above them,” who have a “higher status” than they do. Just like everyone chases things that they can’t have and are above them.
A women might go home with you on the first night, she might sleep with you, but she often will lose all fascination with you in the morning. She often will regret sleeping with you and you won’t hear from her again. That’s why they’re called one night stands.
Because if you LET a women sleep with you the night you meet her, it shows you’re not really that “high status.” That you really don’t have that many choices when it comes to women. That you’re too easy to get. And the bubble of captivation bursts.
And let’s be honest, sex in the first few months of dating a woman (after you get to know what each other likes in bed) is way better than sex on the first night
So when her eyes are all over you, and your hands are all over her, and the vibe “is there,” here’s what I recommend instead:
Take it away.
She will be shocked. She will be dumbfounded. She will have that feeling of longing for something that was there and is now gone. Her attraction to you will spike into the red zone and she will be prepared to do anything to get your attention back. Believe me, the next time you see her, she will be coming onto you super strong.
Here’s how you do it:
First, while you’re both in this bubble of captivation. When she’s googly-eyeing you and you’re hands are all over her. When all the noise and commotion around you in the venue seems blurry, distant and faded. When you two are in your own little world.
At that point, tell her a story of a date that the two of you are going to go on in the future.
You don’t have to put any specifics around it as far as dates and times. Just describe a fascinating date that will happen at some undetermined future time. See your bonus 7 Mental Exercises to Get You Laid, for instructions on how to describe your Go To Date.
Tell her that story. Make it sound uber-exciting, like it would be the funnest experience she’s ever had. Really build up the anticipation. Describe it in vivid detail. Make her think “wow I would love to do all of this with this guy.”
Your voice should be slow and deep. Remember, talking slower naturally makes your voice deeper. So just slow down. Take your time. She’s captivated by you. Own it. Let her relish in being entranced by a dominant alpha male.
You should have a slight playful smirk. She might blush a little and her eyes might flinch away if you’re looking at her intensely. Make sure your eyes don’t flinch away.
When you’re done describing the date, just stare off into space for a few beats, like you’re really thinking about it. Like you’re really thinking about all the detail.
This gives her the chance to really think about it too. To let it sink in. She won’t say anything. She will just be entranced.
Then abruptly look back at her and change the subject.
You can change the subject to anything but ideally you want to make it something that creates a physical connection. See your bonus How To Touch Women.
Here’s some examples:
If you did the palm reading earlier, you can go back to that. If you didn’t do it, now is a great time. Either way, take her hands and go into a silly “reading.”
If you did it earlier: “Hey let me see your palms one more time.”
If you didn’t then : “You know, I never told you, I’m actually a world famous palm reader. Here, let me see your hands.”
Take her hands. Assume everything.
For example:
“Oh yes……..um…….yes it says here that you are going to go on a marvelous date with a strapping young stud.
Yes, you will wear a beautiful summer dress that will flow delicately in the even breeze as you stroll along the boardwalk.
The gulls will be calling in the distance. The waves will be lapping at the shore.
The…..oh wait…..hmmmm...yes it says you will purchase a small plate of french fries, extra ketchup, from a vending cart.
But then the wind will pick up and you will spill the fries all over yourself. The extra ketchup will make the fries stick all over your summer dress.
The exposed fries will cause us to be attacked by a swarm of wild pigeons which will chase us furiously until we dive for cover behind a lemonade stand…….”
Etc.
The point of doing this is to get her laughing hard.
And while this story might seem absurd (which it is), remember that you have her mesmerized inside of your private bubble.
At that moment, you can say anything ridiculous in the world and she will love it. And she will laugh her ass off.
As soon as you have her laughing hysterically (even if the story isn’t finished), you abruptly stop, and take all the fun emotions away.
Pull out your phone quickly, like you suddenly realized something, and say “Oh crap, I’ve got to go.”
Maybe you’re late for meeting up with some friends. You promised your sister you would come over late that night and help her with something. You have a big presentation at work tomorrow that you forgot to prepare for. It doesn’t really matter.
“Oh crap, I’ve got to go….I totally forgot I told my buddy Jessie I would meet him at (wherever) at (whenever).”
Her face will drop. You will see it. From completely hysterical to. What? You’re leaving? She will be stunned. Complete disbelief.
.
As this is registering in her mind, you say: “But we’re totally going to [whatever the date was that you described before].
Hand her your phone. “Here, put your number in there so we can set it up.”
Total assumption. No hesitation.
If you’ve done everything we’ve discussed above. She’ll put her number right in there, no questions asked.
When she hands the phone back, you pull her in for a hug. Hold for a second or two too long, and then back away. Maintain strong eye contact. Have a smirk that says you’re just a little too confident.
When you’re a foot or two away: “I’ll see you later.”
Turn and go.
That’s it.
You have successfully built up huge anticipation and made getting the number merely a secondary, logistical thing.
She will be thinking about you constantly and craving the text you will send her to arrange the date.
*****
Text her the next day and tell her it was great to meet her and you’re looking forward to the upcoming date.
Don’t spend much time texting. If she asks anything back, keep your responses short and to the point. Then give her two options of nights your free. Arrange the date and end the conversation.
Don’t text her again. Wait for the date.
Take her on the Go To date you described. Have a blast. Start over in Phase 2 building curiosity. Then build fascination. There should be lots of playful (Phase 2 banter during the date) and mixed in should more emotional connection building.
Start at the beginning with touching as well, and progressively move forward.
You’re essentially doing the same progressive closing over again, except this time on a date. And this time it will be much smoother and move much quicker.
Toward the end of the date you want to lean in for the kiss. Another progressive close.
There are two basic things to look for right before leaning in for the kiss. Either she’s laughing a lot. Or she’s talking a lot.
With either of these you can do the “pause/seductive approach” or the “interrupter approach.” For example:
Pause/seductive approach: Wait for a high note when she’s laughing. Then pause. Look at her seductively with strong eye contact. Watch her as she recovers from laughing. There will be a silent pause here where she sees you looking at her but not saying anything. Don’t let the pause linger for more than one or two beats.
Then just reach up, put your hand on the back of her neck and pull her (lightly) halfway to you. You lean in the other half way. Put your mouth on hers and kiss. Do it without hesitation.
Interrupter approach: Let’s she’s talking a lot late in the date. She’s kind of rambling on and on. Often this means she wants to kiss you, but is nervous.
Don’t wait for her to finish. Don’t wait for her to come to a pause. Just lean in all the way in and kiss her. Just put you mouth onto her mouth right in the middle of her talking. No hesitation. Assume everything.
*****
Next steps.
If you haven’t yet completed the Action Steps in Daytime Unleashed, continue moving forward. Then move to Nighttime Unleashed and complete that part of the course.
Continue moving forward with the exercises in 7 Mental Exercises to Get You Laid. Take these seriously. Write down the stories you need to fascinate and captivate women and make those stories your own. Practice telling them with all the techniques we discussed in the course.
Reread Chapters 5 and 6 of this course as necessary until your conversation becomes free flowing, confident and endless.
Practice touching women. Review the guide How To Touch Women. Take it slow. You don’t have to implement every touching strategy on the first attempt.
Start with only the “public area” touching for a while until it becomes natural. Until it becomes part of the way you communicate. Then add in one more touch. Then one more.
If you’ve reached this point, you’ve built up a lot of momentum. Keep it up. Keep approaching and building attraction with women. Make a goal to approach women randomly several times a week.
Do it just for the sake of doing it. Do it just to keep up the momentum. Remember that you don’t have to build a lifelong relationship with every women you talk to. You don’t have to even call them again. So just approach and build attraction to stay sharp. To stay prepared.
That way, when that rare opportunity comes along. When the unicorn comes prancing by someday. You’ll be ready. Because you won’t find the unicorn on Tinder, Bumble or online.
One day, the unicorn will just walk by.
And if you’re not ready……..
Supplement Course 1: Daytime Unleashed
(25 Day Action Plan to Change Your Life – Part 1)
In the next 25 days you’re literally going to see yourself transform into the chick attraction magnet you’ve always wanted to be.
Here’s how to use this action plan. Read Make Women Chase You first. The guidebook will instruct you when to stop reading and come here to the supplement to complete an Action Step.
So if you opened this first, and haven’t looked at Make Women Chase You yet. Close this supplement now, and go to the main guidebook.
Do these steps need to be completed in exactly 25 days? No.
The steps will require you to be in certain situations. Obviously, this may not work out perfectly with your schedule, etc. At the same time, we don’t want to drag things out too long.
One of the biggest ways to achieve success is through momentum. You start building momentum and it carries you through to the finish. If you wait too long in between Action Steps, you lose momentum.
So shoot to complete one Action Step everyday. But let’s put in some buffer days to be realistic. Try to complete all the Action Steps within 25 to 50 days.
Just make sure to do the Action Steps in order. They build on each other, so don’t skip around.
Why Most Guys Fail
Before we start, let’s discuss the #1 reason why people try and fail (at anything, not just attracting women). It’s because of this:
Too Much Information.
Really.
There’s just too much information out there. It’s information overload really. And that causes paralysis of analysis.
You can spend the rest of your life reading about seduction. But reading will get you nowhere.
This course is designed to weed through all the noise and give you concrete, actionable steps. The most important thing is that you do them .
Most of these (particularly in Daytime Unleashed) should take an hour or less. You can do them on your lunch break, so no excuses, get them done.
Here’s what not to worry about as you go through these Action Steps:
1. Don’t worry if this is “the best” line or “the best” approach.
There is no best line or best approach. A guy who knows how to seduce women can take the most dog shit line in the world and pull it off everytime. A guy who has no clue can take a great line and screw it up every time.
It is not the line. It is the man. Remember that. Over the next 25 days you will determine which lines you like and which you don’t.
The ones you like you’ll keep, perfect and make your own. The others you’ll toss.
2. Don’t worry about the outcome. We care about seeing what happens. Not about outcomes.
Let’s begin.
Action Step 1: Hit on a Waitress to See What Happens
A waitress is the easiest place to start. Why? Because waitresses are in customer service. They will be nice to you even if they turn you down. This should immediately eliminate any concerns you have about a harsh rejection.
So now, there’s really nothing to worry about.
Very important: You’re not hitting on a waitress because you want to sleep with her. You’re not hitting on her because you want any specific outcome. You’re only hitting on her TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
Right? Fuck it.
Here are the exact steps to take. Go somewhere and get a female waitress. Talk to her as much as you can when ordering and throughout the meal. In other words, don’t just order and then be quiet.
One thing you must do to satisfy this exercise is : You must make at least 1 Assumption about her. Something like this:
“You seem like a Cali girl to me.”
“You seem like you’re from New York.”
“You look like you’re into yoga.”
“You look like you’re really into fitness.”
You can use one of those, or ideally, say whatever actually comes to mind the moment you see her (no filter -- whatever you think the moment you see her -- just say it -- you seem like a [whatever] girl to me).
Say it right away. Like:
Her: “Hi I’m Brenda, I’ll be your server.”
You: “Hi Brenda. How’s it going today?”
Her: [she says whatever]
You: “You know...you seem like a [whatever] girl to me.”
Her: [she will most certainly ask why, or why do you think that]
You: “I’m not sure. I’m just getting that [whatever] vibe from you. I’ll think about it while I look over the menu. Got any specials today?
That’s it.
She may ask you about the assumption again (girls generally do). Just keep deflecting: You’re still not sure. It’s just something about her. You’re still trying to figure out what it is. But you’re definitely going to put your finger on it by the end of the meal.
After deflecting, just change the subject (and really try to keep her engaged in conversation as much as possible -- obviously she’s busy so it won’t be forever -- but just keep it up as much as you can).
Things to change the subject to (if they haven’t been covered in the conversation with her already):
- Ask her what her name is (if she doesn’t have a name tag on or introduce herself).
- If she does have a name tag on, look at it for a beat. Then say her name. Then say nice to meet you.
- Ask her how her day is going.
- Ask her how long she’s worked there.
- Ask her about something in the restaurant. Like some unusual decoration or picture or whatever hanging on the wall.
- Tell her you’ve never seen her in here before. (If she says she’s never see you in here before: Tell her that’s because you’ve never been here before. Then give her a wink and a smirk and look back at your menu.)
- Ask her what the most popular dish is.
- Ask her what her favorite dish is.
- Ask her if she can describe the difference between Dish 1 and Dish 2.
You don’t have to use every one of these. Pick one or two and change the subject so the cliffhanger of your assumption is just sitting out there.
Talk to her calmly with genuine interest. If she responds with anything that keeps the conversation going, just go with it. It doesn’t matter what you say.
If you’re ever stuck, you can always turn the conversation back to food.
Be playful and happy and a little teasing. Say everything in this interaction with confidence. Assume confidence. Assume this girl wants you. Remember, you’re just doing all this to see what happens.
When the meal is over and she brings the check, she will probably be demanding to know why you assumed that thing about her.
If she is, say: I’ll tell you what. You go for coffee with me this weekend, and I’ll tell you.
If she isn’t pressing for it. Just say: “Your service has been awesome. So awesome actually that I want to take you out for a coffee this weekend.”
That’s it.
It doesn’t matter what happens after that.
If she reacts favorably, just go with it. Say whatever comes naturally. Then hand her your phone.
If she says no or that she has a boyfriend or whatever, just say: “Totally cool. I understand. Thanks again for the awesome service and conversation.”
Done.
Things to Keep in Mind
In general, these will be applicable to all the Action Steps.
1. Don’t spend forever finding “the right” waitress. Your goal is to get in, complete the Action Step, get out, and move on with the training. So, if the server (a) is female, (b) isn’t wearing a wedding band, and (3) isn’t someone clearly out of your age range (like a grandma), then she’s “the right” waitress for this exercise.
2. To be totally clear on the previous point. You don’t have to marry this women. You don’t even have to call her if you get the number. You’re not committing to anything. So even if she’s not “the ideal candidate” for you, just complete the Action Step. Don’t overthink things. You’re going to hit on girls in this course, just for the sake of hitting on girls (just to see what happens). You don’t ever have to follow up if you don’t want to.
3. Don’t worry if other people are within earshot. Who cares. You will never see those people again. If you’re still concerned about it, go to a restaurant that’s noisy. Nobody will hear you anyway.
4. When you’re done. When you’re in your car (or wherever) outside the restaurant. Take a moment to notice and acknowledge how exhilarated you feel. It will feel good (no matter what happened). And this is only the beginning.
Lastly, I recommend doing this Action Step solo. However, if you’re with a buddy, just do everything the same way. But here’s the one key. Don’t tell your buddy what you’re doing. Just let him witness it live. If you tell him in advance, his face will give away that hitting on her wasn’t spontaneous.
OK. Stop reading here. Go complete this Action Step. Then go back to Make Women Chase You, and pick up with Chapter 3.
Action Step 2: Hit on a Waitress with the “I didn’t see your number” line and See What Happens
This time you will do everything you did in Action Step 1, except the ending. So go back and review all the suggestions of what to talk about in Action Step 1.
Make sure you make an assumption about her, and then defer telling her why for the entire meal.
Remember it’s very important to talk to her as much as possible. You don’t want to go from “hey can I have the spinach salad” to “hey can I have your number.” You want to talk with her as much as possible in between those things.
The difference this time will be the close. This time you will drop a funny pick up line. Trust me this one works wonders because it’s totally unexpected and funny.
Here’s how it works.
Let her drop off the check. Take your normal few minutes to look it over. When she comes back say: “hey, there’s uh...something wrong with my check.”
You should have a mildly skeptical/concerned look on your face (the look that would be on your face if there really was something wrong with the check).
You should actually hand the check to her as you’re saying the line above.
She will certainly take the check from you. And she will probably say something like “oh no” or “omg what’s wrong” or something like that.
As soon as she has the check in her hand, you continue with: “I didn’t see your number written at the top.”
Then just stop. Look at her. Sly smile/half smirk on your face. Total confidence. Total assumption.
There will be one or two beats while her mind processes that you just hit on her. Then she will either bust out laughing or (at a minimum) she will get a big smile.
This is always the reaction because the line was so unexpected after you framed it as something was wrong with the check.
After that, just go with whatever happens. Give her a few seconds to respond. If she’s completely lost (which is unlikely), you can ask her: “has anyone ever asked you out like that before?” (The answer will most certainly be no).
If you get the number, great!
If she give you boyfriends and excuses, use this exit:
“Totally cool. I understand. You can’t blame me for trying though right? (she will surely say no). Nice. Thanks for being a good sport about it. And thanks again for the great service. You have an awesome day.”
That’s it.
Make sure to take note of how exhilarated you feel afterwards, regardless of the outcome.
Again, you just did it to see what happens.
OK. Stop reading here. Go complete this Action Step. Then go back and pick up Make Women Chase You, and pick up with Chapter 4.
Action Step 3: Compliment a Girl on the Street with “I Think You’re Absolutely Gorgeous” and See What Happens
For this one, go somewhere that’s kind of a “big” public place. This would be like a busy boardwalk, a mall, a crowded part of town. The opposite of this would be like a small coffee shop or a quiet bookstore. There should be lots of people wandering around doing whatever.
What you’re going to do here is give a stranger a compliment. That’s it. You’re not hitting on anyone. You’re not looking for any particular outcome.
What happens after the compliment doesn’t matter. Your only job is to deliver a compliment and meet these requirements:
The compliment you’re going to give is this: “Excuse me. I just wanted to tell you that I think you are absolutely gorgeous.”
The requirements you have to meet are: You have to say the compliment with a strong, calm, confident voice. Confident body language. Strong eye contact. And a smile.
Let’s break these down.
A strong, calm, confident, voice is one that isn’t hiding, timid or scared. It’s a voice that isn’t rushing through the words. This is a gorgeous women. You need to tell her that and make her genuinely believe it.
You should practice that line beforehand until it flows out of your mouth calmly and confidently, without any hesitation or thought.
Confident body language is when you walk toward her, you walk with purpose. Purpose doesn’t mean a fast or running. It means no hesitation. No second guessing. You’re going to deliver this compliment come hell or high water.
Strong eye contact means you look at her in the eye when you deliver the line. And you DON’T break eye contact after you deliver the line. Look at her in the eyes like you can see into her soul.
A smile -- give her your best.
Here is exactly how you’re going to accomplish this to minimize any anxiety.
You’re going to have an ON and OFF mode. Off mode is safe and comfortable, because you’re not hitting on anybody, even if you see a hot chick. The reason to be in off mode is so you don’t start creating anxiety on the drive over there, and when you first get there, etc.
In off mode you’re just an everyday dude going about his business. Nothing can happen until you turn to on mode.
Once you get to this place, wander around for a few minutes in off mode. Check out the shops. Check out the beach. Check out whatever. Take notice of hot chicks just like any guy normally would. You’re just noticing, you’re not doing anything yet.
Now, very similar to the restaurant example, you’re not looking for “the perfect hot girl.”
If you keep looking for the perfect one, you’ll be there all day and never accomplish anything.
You just need to spot a “good enough hot girl”, who is walking/shopping alone. Remember you’re just completing an exercise here. Nothing more. The rest of your life is not hanging in the balance.
The moment you see a “good enough hot girl.” The moment you’re sure she’s alone (like she’s not busy talking to some store clerk). You whisper to yourself: “on mode. fuck it.” Then you start walking toward her, no thinking, no hesitation.
As soon as you get to her you deliver the line.
When you say “Excuse me.” Say it like a statement. Not a question. You’re not asking her if you can have her attention. You’re telling her that she’s going to give you her attention for the next few moments.
Then deliver the line. Then pause. Smile. Hold that eye contact (do not for the love of God break eye contact - I don’t care how hard your heart is pounding).
Most likely, she will get a big smile. She will probably say thank you. Any person who can’t take a genuine compliment is just an asshole.
If she says thank you, you say: “You’re welcome. I just couldn’t resist coming over and talking to you. I’m Paul. Who are you?”
Hold out your hand.
“Nice to meet you Sasha. So, what are you up to today?”
She says something.
You make an assumption about her. Whatever comes to mind, or use one of the assumptions you’ve seen repeatedly throughout the course.
Defer answering. Change the subject. Check out the conversations in Chapter 5 of Make Women Chase You. Pick out a few go-to lines and practice them in advance.
If she asks what you’re up to (since you’re up to nothing but hitting on chicks). Just say: “I’m meeting a buddy at 3:00 over at [some place nearby] so I was just doing some window shopping. Killing some time.”
If things start getting awkward or she doesn’t seem interested. Your out is: “hey, it looks like you have a lot to do. It was nice to meet you. You have a great day!” Said with total confidence.
Then turn slowly and confidently and walk away. Don't look back.
If she does seem interested in you, ask for her number. Don’t drag it out too long. Always be closing. After even just a minute or two say:
“Hey look I really want to take you out. Let me get your number so we can go out and have some fun.” Hold out your phone for her to take.
Reflect on how exhilarated you feel as you walk away. Doesn’t matter the outcome. You were just there to see what happened. And if you happened to get a hottie’s number...well holy fuck stud. Nice work.
Action Step 4: Hit on a Girl with the “Hey You Dropped That” line and See What Happens
Go to a daytime venue where people are walking around. It can be the same place as in Action Step 3, or somewhere else. Just make sure lots of people are walking around.
Follow the same steps in Action Step 3. Be in off mode for a few minutes until you’re ready to go.
You want this line in your arsenal because it’s a great go-to when you and a woman are walking toward each other, and there’s no time to think.
For example, let’s say you round a corner, and there is a woman right there coming toward you, and you have only seconds to (1) decide to say something and (2) figure out what to say.
This line is perfect for those situations because you can drop it immediately no matter what is really going on.
For practice, you can do it when you and a woman are walking toward each other. Or you can just use it on a woman who is standing, let’s say browsing a rack of clothing or something like that.
Here’s how it works.
The moment you’re within speaking distance from her, let’s say less than 10 feet away, you just immediately look surprised and you point to the ground right behind her and say:
“Hey, you dropped that.”
Pretend that she really did drop something, and your body and vocal tone will give off exactly the right signals.
Most of the time she will stop, turn around, and look at where you’re pointing. That’s just human nature. Nobody wants to drop their keys, or an important paper, or whatever. So if a stranger alerts you that you dropped something, you will look.
So she will look for a second or two, then she will look back at you confused. Because obviously there is nothing there.
At that moment, you say (with a big, confident smile): “I’m just kidding. I just needed a reason to stop you, so I can hit on you real quick.”
At this point, one of two things will happen. She will either roll her eyes and walk away. Or, she’ll smile/laugh and still be standing there.
If she’s still standing there. You stick out your hand: “Hi. I’m Alfonzo. Who are you?”
Then go into the normal routine. Make an assumption. Defer the answer. Change the subject. Don’t be afraid to mix in some questions depending on the situation:
“What are you up to today?”
“You go to school around here?”
“You work around here?”
“You on your lunch break?”
“Shoe shopping huh? How come you don’t have any bags? No luck yet?”
“I’ll tell you what. Let’s go into that store right there (point at store) and you try on 3 pairs of shoes. And I’ll give you my opinion.”
Whatever. Just go with whatever she says. And make sure to ask for her number, snap, FB or whatever within a few minutes. At some random point just say:
“You seem really cool. Let me get your number so I can take you out later this week.”
Close. Close. Close. If she’s talking to you, you have to close.
If she gives you boyfriends and excuses, that’s fine. If you close for the number and don’t get it, that’s fine.
But not attempting to close at all….that’s not fine.
Review the conversation techniques in Chapter 5 of Make Women Chase You. Have 2 or 3 that you want to practice and try to implement them.
Very important: Don’t overthink things. Don’t worry about the outcome. You’re just completing an exercise designed to get you to approach a random woman and say random stuff. You just need to get used to doing that. Once you can do that, everything else will fall into place. The outcome of this interaction is irrelevant. All that matters is that you make the approach.
Action Step 5: Marathon Day 1 - Hit on 2 Women In a Row To See What Happens
First, let me congratulate you for making it this far.
Most guys will do anything to improve their game, except actually approach women .
By doing what you did over the last 4 days, you have put yourself so far ahead of most guys. Be proud of what you’ve done. If you got rejected 4 times, who cares. You were just there to see what happens. Most guys will never do what you did.
Really.
Most guys will just live out their lives in quiet desperation, always wanting, always studying, and never obtaining, because the subconscious fight to “stay comfortable” is just too strong. They won’t get uncomfortable and override it.
I’m glad to see you’ve made the conscious decision not to do that.
So….you have done awesome so far. But this Action Step can be a make or break moment. Don’t let it stop you. Fight through this one. If you can get past this one, you really have a great chance of making it all the way to the end of this training and changing your life!
Here’s the key. This one isn’t any harder than yesterday. It just has the appearance of being harder because in involves 2 approaches in a row. And you have to be in on mode for a couple of minutes. Fight through this one and get it done . You’ll be really happy that you did .
Here’s how it works. Review the techniques in Action Step 3 & 4. You can use either technique or mix it up. If you have some other opening you want to try, use that.
Go to the public venue. Stay in off mode at the beginning.
When you see the first girl: on mode, “fuck it.”
Approach the first girl. Open, introduce yourself, make an assumption, use the techniques from Chapter 5. Whatever happens doesn’t matter.
As soon as you’re done with the first approach, just keep walking around in on mode, until you see another hottie. Again, it doesn’t have to be “the perfect hottie,” just a “good enough hottie is fine.”
Find a “good enough hottie” quickly. A couple of minutes max. As soon as you do, “fuck it” and approach. No thinking. No hesitation. Drop one of the openings. Follow the general pattern of assumption, defer the answer, change the subject.
The time might feel like forever when you’re in on mode. But when it’s done, it will feel like it went by really quickly. And you will feel glorious.
Last thing, do not spend one second worrying if the first girl might see you hitting on the second girl, or vice versa. Who cares. Now too long from now you’re going to want girls to see you talking to other girls for preselection purposes.
So if the second “good enough hottie” is spotted 1 second after you depart the first “good enough hottie,” go with it.
Remember: Two numbers, two rejections, or a mix of both. Doesn’t matter!!! The fact that you did it is all that matters. All the women you want are coming. No one learned to ride a bike without bruising a few knees.
Action Step 6: Yoga Class
Find a yoga place that offers a free first lesson. If you’re dude who’s above yoga, get over yourself. Lots of buff dudes who get laid all the time by hotties in yoga pants, take yoga. So just do it.
I’m not telling you to become a yoga guru and spend the rest of your life doing yoga. I’m telling you to take one free yoga class.
Schedule the class. When you get there, you’ll probably meet the instructor or someone that works there. You might be shown around. Whatever. There will probably be a few minutes of downtime before the class begins. Make sure to get there 20 minutes early so there is definitely a little down time.
During this time, there will be women around, stretching, prepping, whatever.
Your goal is to introduce yourself to 3 to 5 women during this time. This is one of the two primary reasons you’re here (we’ll get to reason 2 in a minute).
Just go up to them and introduce yourself. They will be friendly. Ideally it would be great if there were 5 women near each other. Just walk over, shake hands and exchange names with all of them. All in a row. They’ll welcome you to the class. They might ask you if this is your first class. All good stuff.
Have a reason why you’re interested in yoga. If you can’t think of anything, just go with: “I’m always interested in trying new things.”
Try to remember all 5 names. Repeat each woman’s name after she says it to help you.
At some point say this: “so since I’m new to all this, would you ladies mind if I sit near you in class so I can cheat off your notes.”
They will smile and at least one of them will agree. Now that’s your buddy. Sit by her. Talk to her. Follow her lead in class. It doesn’t matter if she’s hot. It doesn’t have to be a woman you want to sleep with.
You don’t have to ask her out. You don’t have to ask anyone out tonight -- how easy is this?!
The point of this exercise is to walk into a room filled with women, and introduce yourself to 3 to 5 of them, immediately and quickly. With no hesitation. And then get to know at least one. Chat with one. Or chat with all 5 for that matter. Sit by them in class and do what they do (or try).
When the class is over, they’ll probably tell you that you did a great job (even though you probably didn’t). And that they hope to see you there again, etc.
Make sure to say thank you and goodbye to all the women you were talking to at some point and the instructor. Really, make an effort to talk with each of the 5 for formal thank yous and goodbyes. Don’t just walk out.
Now you’re done.
If you liked the class, if you found the women interesting, start going.
This brings us to the second reason you’re here. You will see certain recurring themes as you read Make Women Chase You. They are: improving yourself. Learning about new things. Having things to talk about. Telling stories.
This class satisfies that. One class alone gives you a story and a little adventure to talk about. You are also learning about something new and doing something to improve your physical health.
Plus, if you actually start going there regularly, well…. it’s a room full of women , so….who knows where things can lead.
Just make sure you’re friendly and talkative and introducing yourself to new women EVERY TIME you go there. Don’t slink back in the corner and be silent. Get to know every woman in the room in the first 5 classes.
Yes, that’s right...you and like the 2 other dudes in there…. know all the women in the room…..
Here’s another tip. Remember that women are attracted to guys who are really interested in things. Who are passionate about things. So if you start taking this class, definitely talk to all the woman quickly and immediately.
But also (very important) take the class seriously. Be interested in it. Be interested in getting good at it.
If the instructor ask if there are any questions. Ask one. In front of everyone. Don’t be nervous. Don’t worry if it’s a “dumb question.” Just ask anything that comes to mind. I promise half the women in the room will think you’re hot as hell for asking something about a yoga position.
Action Step 7: Marathon Day 2 - Hit on 2 Women In a Row To See What Happens
Here’s the difference between Marathon Day 2 and Marathon Day 1. This time you’re going to focus on making the conversations last longer.
Assume. Defer the answer. Change the subject and keep things going. Look again at the conversations in Chapters 5 and 6 of Make Women Chase You.
Have some things to say about yourself. Randomly tell her. Try to make the conversations last 5 minutes or longer.
Get her laughing. Be confident and playful. Fully assume that she wants to talk to you.
Close for the number.
Action Step 8: Hit on 3 Women In a Row With New Openers To See What Happens
We’re not going to call these marathons anymore because you’re getting used to it. You may still be nervous doing it. You may still need to psych yourself up. And that’s fine.
But if you’re building momentum and really keeping up with this, you should be starting to feel a little numb to it all.
You should be starting to feel excited when you wake up in the morning. You should be starting to regain that fascination with life that so many guys lose as adults.
You should also be starting to see that rejection doesn’t matter. You have probably been rejected over the last 7 days. Are you dead? Will you ever see those women again? Nope.
So who gives a fuck.
And remember this: There are really only two fears guys have: rejection and not knowing what to say. We are tackling both of those head-on all throughout this course. Fight through it and there will be a sea of women waiting on the other side.
Today we’re going to do the same thing as yesterday, but with different openers. Here’s two similar (but new) ones to try.
“Excuse me. I saw you standing over here...and I knew that if I didn’t come say hi...I would literally be kicking myself for the rest of the day.
“Excuse me. I saw you standing over here...and just had to ask…...do you get hit on a lot during the day?”
If the answer is yes to the second one: “Oh. So you have a lot of experience with this. How am I doing right now?”
If the answer is no: “Oh. Well what about right now? Are you getting hit on right now?”
Then just continue with a mix of guesses/assumptions and questions and try to make the conversation go as long as possible. The usual 5 minutes each if possible.
Power through it. You’re in on mode until you talk to three women. Outcome is irrelevant. Remember to reflect on how good you feel when it’s done.
Action Step 9: Hit on 4 Women In a Row With Your Favorite Openers To See What Happens
Repeat Action Step 8 except pick any opener you want. The 4 basic ones we’ve covered so far are:
“Excuse me. I just wanted to tell you that I think you are absolutely gorgeous.”
‘Hey, you dropped that.”
“Excuse me. I saw you standing over here...and I knew that if I didn’t come say hi...I would literally be kicking myself for the rest of the day.
“Excuse me. I saw you standing over here...and just had to ask…...do you get hit on a lot during the day?”
You can also use your own if you have one you like better. Remember it’s not the line, it’s the man. And even more importantly, it’s taking action and doing something. Having the best line in the world and doing nothing…..well, that means nothing.
Try to keep the conversations going for 3 - 5 minutes.
Close for the number.
Follow the standard off and then on mode. Stay in on mode until you complete the process.
Say “fuck it” before each approach.
Get this done marathon style. This shouldn’t take all day. 20 minutes max and you’re done. Don’t drag things out. Just get to it. This is an exercise. The outcome is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is that you do it.
Keep reviewing and reading the Make Women Chase You course material and bonuses. Try to incorporate as much as you can into each approach and keep trying and perfecting new stuff each day.
Action Step 10: Hit on 2 Single Women and 1 Pair To See What Happens
If you’ve made it this far, they you probably have at least 1 date lined up already. Props man. You’re on your way to a life most men only dream about.
Today is going to be another big step. You’re going to hit on a pair of girls for the first time.
I’m going to honest with you. Most guys WILL NEVER HIT ON A PAIR OF GIRLS IN THEIR LIFETIME.
EVER.
If you can get through today, then you are literally in the top 5% of guys already. Probably the top 1%.
Now you’re not going to hit on both girls. You’re going to hit on 1 of the 2 in the pair.
Before you do it, hit on 2 girls who are alone, using the same methods as in Action Step 9. This will put you in the right mode before approaching the pair of girls.
I’m going to give you 2 openers. They are just variations of what we have practiced already. You pick your favorite to try today. Tomorrow we will try the other one.
The openers are:
You go up to the one you’re NOT interested in and say: “Excuse me. I just wanted to tell you that I think your friend is absolutely gorgeous. But I’m not sure what to say to her. Can you help me out?”
(remember: total confidence, total assumption, who gives a fuck)
They will both laugh (in a good, flattered way).
The friend could say anything from: “just say hi” to “say this specific thing” to “tell her she’s gorgeous then.”
Here’s the key: DON’T IMMEDIATELY DO WHAT THE FRIEND SAYS.
Say: “Wow. That’s really good advice. What’s your name?” And hold out your hand to the one you’re NOT interested in.
This will confuse them a little, and will show you’re a man who isn’t just going to do exactly what you were told to do, the second you were told to do it.
Make an assumption about the one you’re still talking to (the one you’re NOT interested in).
“You’re a Cali girl aren’t you.”
“Why?”
“Because Cali girls usually give good advice like that. I asked a New York girl that same question once. She said to tell her friend that she was a blimp…...I didn’t think that was such a good idea.”
They might laugh at that. They might say whatever. You just keep it going for a few moments until some point shortly thereafter when you say:
“Cool. I’m going to try your advice.”
Then you turn to the other one, and say whatever the first girl suggested.
Then take it from there with the second girl using assumptions and questions.
This probably won’t play out as perfectly smoothly as I’ve laid it out here. But here are some key points I want you to remember:
First, approaching two girls is a fucking bold thing to do. Two girls together DO NOT get approached that often (especially by one guy -- a pair of guys, maybe). THEY WILL FIND IT REFRESHING. THEY WILL FIND IT IMPRESSIVE.
THEY WILL THINK YOU HAVE SOME BIG FUCKING BALLS (which you do). And all of that will override any stumbling you may do along the way.
They will be impressed as hell that you even tried that, and even if you ultimately get turned down, it won’t be in a harsh way. And even if it is, fuck it. You were just there to see what happened.
Get through this one. I don’t care if you have to jump up and down and scream beforehand and smack yourself in the face. Do what it takes to psych yourself up for this. Do it and you will be the happiest person alive when it’s over.
I highly recommend that you rehearse this one in advance imagining that there are two girls there. Practice saying what you’re gonna say slowly and with confidence. That will help keep stumbling to a minimum when you go and do it.
Alternative
Here’s another one you can try with two chicks. For this one, get a scrap of paper and write your phone number on it. Keep that in your hand as you do this approach.
When you’re close to the one that you ARE interested in, you say:
‘Excuse me, you dropped that.” (point at the floor behind her). Same routine as before.
They will both probably turn and look.
Before they have a chance to really even look back at you in confusion, you walk toward the spot you’re pointing at saying something like: “Right here...right here.”
The paper with your number on it is hidden in the palm of your pointing hand.
You bend down like you’re picking up something off the floor, and then straighten up with the piece of paper showing in your hand.
Then you look at the paper inquisitively for one beat and say: “oh….it’s my phone number.”
They will both laugh. Then you say with complete confidence and assumption: “That was a good one, wasn’t it?” Have a huge confident smile.
Most likely they will agree that “yes” that was a good one.
Then you hold out your hand, introduce yourself, and the rest is the same. Assumptions, deferral, questions, get the number.
Again. They will be impressed you approached a pair of girls. So don’t worry about anything. Fuck it. You’re just there to see what happens.
And when this one is over, reflect on what a confident individual you have become in just 10 days. You won’t recognize yourself from a week ago.
Action Step 11: Hit on 2 Single Women and 1 Pair To See What Happens
Do the same thing as Action Step 10, except switch the opener for the two-girl part.
If you did the, “i think your friend is gorgeous,” change to “you dropped that” and vice versa.
When this is over, reflect on how far you’ve come. 11 days ago you couldn’t even approach a girl. Now you just approached a pair of girls (for the second time).
How does it feel?
Action Step 12: Hit on 2 Single Women. Then Hit on 1 Single Woman In Front of People.
For the 2 single women (the warm ups), pick whatever line you want and follow whatever kinds of assumption / question follow ups that you like.
You should be starting to find what you’re comfortable with. You should also be finding that you are able to improvise a bit now -- which is the ultimate goal here. Lines are just a place to start because we have to start somewhere.
For the 3rd woman, you want to find a chick who is sitting near people. Or it could be a girl working in a store who is standing with her coworkers. You want to find a situation where other random people are within earshot. Maybe they’re even chatting. They are going to hear you approach her.
Even now, after all your progress, this might sound intimidating. Here’s 4 very important things to remember.
1. You are starting to live in your own world. You are starting to make your own rules for your life. In your world, other peoples debilitating opinions DO NOT matter. As soon as you flip into on mode and say “fuck it,” it’s just you and her. These other people don’t exist. You don’t see them. You don’t notice them. Their opinions don’t matter. You will never see them again.
2. The other people, in general, they are going to be IMPRESSED that you approach the girl . Most guys are still stuck in a high school mentality where they think everyone is going to laugh at them. First, who cares. Second, and more importantly, that time of life is over. Yes, everyone laughed at each other in high school. But in the real world, anyone who sees you sack-up and approach a girl in public is going to be impressed as hell.
You know what they’ll really be thinking? They’ll be feeling bad for themselves, wishing they could do what you’re doing.
Depending on how it all plays out, you could have an observer give you a high five, a pat on the back, or a congratulations after it's all said and done.
3. The girl will be impressed. Because she knows other people are watching / listening too. Most guys are too fucking scared to approach in that situation. They will wait till she’s alone. Or they will just give up and do nothing.
This is very similar to the props you get from the two-girl approach. Because what you’re doing is so bold, it overrides any stumblings you might have along the way.
So, very similar to everything else. Don’t look for the “perfect” setup. If you see a cute girl and she’s clearly standing/sitting with other people nearby, she’s the one. Go for it.
Use any opening you want. If you’re not sure, use the “I think you’re gorgeous” opening. Flatter the shit out of her in front of her friends or other people.
The rest is the same.
Action Step 13: Speed Drill. 6 Women in 30 Minutes
Go to a public venue. You can use whatever lines you want to open. You’re going to keep it short and sweet, so your out is:
“Hey I have to meet a buddy of mine in a few minutes. But let me get your number so I can take you out sometime.” Hold out your phone. Be confident. Assume she will give you the number.
Once you’re in on mode, you’re on. “Fuck it.”
You don’t have time to dilly dally. As soon as you’re finished with one, keep walking away from her, the next girl you see, approach. No waiting.
Right before you flip to on mode to approach the first one, hit the timer on your watch or phone. 30 minutes. Get it done.
Again: Don’t worry about if it’s “the right girl.” If you’re even mildly attracted to her, approach.
Again: Don’t worry about if: one of the girls I was just hitting on sees me hitting on another girl. Who cares. You’re not marrying these people. You’re just trying to hit the 15 day mark. Then we move to night game. You’re almost there.
Action Step 14: Speed Drill. 3 Pairs of Women in 30 Minutes
This is exactly the same as Action Step 13 except you are approaching 2 girls and doing the 2 girl openings.
Use either opening or both. Whatever you’re comfortable with.
Read this: When you complete this exercise you officially graduate to being a fucking stud. Even if you get rejected 3 times in a row. You will be the envy of all your male friends not too far down the road.
Action Step 15: Up to 6 Girls. Let’s do something right now.
It’s the 15th day mark. If you made it this far, you are literally in the top 1% of guys. You have more game than most guys will ever have in their life.
Even if you got rejected a bunch along the way. Because rejection is just part of the game. You should be at a point where it is barely (if at all) phasing you right now. This is where we wanted to get.
Once you squash approach anxiety, everything else about attracting women is simple.
This is daygame graduation day! You made it. And I bet you feel fucking amazing!!
So the exercise today is to get a girl to go on a date with you right now . It doesn’t matter if you are successful at it or not. Girls are busy running errands and shit during the day, so you may not be successful. That’s fine.
The point of this day is not speed, but your conversation. You really want to work on dropping assumptions and questions and keeping the conversation going for as long as possible.
You want to find out what she’s up to, and then figure out a way to get her to do something with you right now.
So let’s say she’s shopping. You can turn it into: “Let’s go have some fun right now. I got an idea. You be my new girlfriend for 15 minutes. We’ll go try on some clothes. I can tell you how sexy you are. You can tell me how sexy I am. And then we can fight about dumb stuff and break up with each other. It will be fun, what do you say?”
If she finds you interesting and she is really out shopping, she might just take you up on it. Afterwards, take her out for some drinks. Make it into a real date.
Let’s say she’s just killing time. She could say a million different things about what she’s doing, but the underlying theme is that basically she’s in no rush. She’s killing time. In this case,
“Let’s go have some fun right now. I got an idea. You be my new girlfriend for 15 minutes. Let’s go grab a coffee. We can talk about how great our relationship is. Then we can fight about dumb stuff. And then we can break up. It will be fun, what do you say?”
You could also substitute coffee for beer in the above scenario if you think appropriate.
Whatever it is, talk to her long enough that she gets comfortable (like 5 minutes) and then try to transition into doing something right now.
See where it goes.
Do this with up to 6 women. If you have success on number 2, then go enjoy the day with number 2 and you’re done. If you attempt 6 times and it doesn’t work, you’re done.
At this point you should have approach anxiety basically squashed. If you still want more practice before going to night game, go back and redo whichever Action Step you found the hardest.
If you skipped one along the way (shame, shame)…….now’s the time my friend.
Get it done.
Next steps:
You have built up a lot of momentum here. Momentum is very important to success at anything. But you’re still only two weeks in. So don’t let the momentum stop. Here’s what you should be doing.
1. If you are a bar/club guy and you want to master night game. Go to the Nighttime Unleashed and complete the 10 action steps.
2. If you just want to stick to day game, then make approaching women a habit. You can do a little everyday, or marathon sessions a couple times a week. Whatever you like best. Ideally you should just make it part of your life.
For example, you don’t go out looking for it, but when you see a hot girl, you approach. In order to do this, always be ready (like always look and smell good before leaving the house) and put yourself in on mode before you walk out the door. Just be on . If something happens, it happens. If not, no problem.
3. Start approaching women in front of your friends. Show them how to do it. They will be impressed as hell. Teach them what you’ve learned. That finalizes the three steps of mastery: learn, do, teach.
Whatever you do, don’t stop. This is just like weightlifting. If you just stop, you lose all your progress. So keep up the momentum.
Congratulations my friend, you have manned the fuck up!!
Supplement Course 2: Nighttime Unleashed
(25 Day Action Plan to Change Your Life - Part 2)
This is Part 2 of the 25 Day Action Plan. Prior to this you should have completed Part 1, Daytime Unleashed. If you haven’t don’t that yet, it is highly recommended that you do it now. Finishing Part 1 will make everything below much easier.
Let me start by congratulating you on getting to this point. If you completed Part 1, your approach anxiety should be basically squashed by now.
You should also realize how far ahead you are now compared to other guys. The approaches you made in Daytime Unleashed, most guys will never do that.
Seriously.
Now it’s time to take things to the next level. Nighttime is not easier or harder than daytime. It’s just different. Preselection doesn’t really apply during daytime because the women you’re approaching likely didn’t see you talking to women prior.
You were basically talking to women one by one. Even when you talked to the pairs of women, it was still one pair at a time.
At night preselection is everywhere. The more women you talk to, the more other women will get curious about you. All the women are watching and looking for the most interesting guy.
The best part is that the most interesting guy isn’t the “hottest one” or the “buffest one.” It’s the one talking to all the other girls.
Remember that you don’t need to actually pick up women or even get their numbers for preselection to work. You just need to be seen talking to them. This is exactly what Storming the Beach accomplishes.
Do everything in these Action Steps with complete confidence and a playful manner. You’re just doing it to see what happens. The outcome is irrelevant.
Review Chapters 5 and 6 of Make Women Chase You as you go through these steps. Select lines and techniques to test out. Find the ones you like and make them your own.
Remember that there is no “best line.” Every line and technique can work sometimes and none of them work all the time. It’s the man. Not the line.
And at this point, if you’ve completed all the Action Steps in Daytime Unleashed, you are becoming quite the man .
Action Step 16: Storm The Beach - Talk To 1 Woman Before Ordering A Drink
In Daytime Unleashed we discussed the concept of on and off mode. Basically you were in off mode until you made your first approach.
In Nighttime Unleashed, on mode starts the moment you LEAVE YOUR HOUSE .
It doesn’t start the moment you walk into the venue or after your first drink or anything like that. It doesn’t start after you’ve “scoped the place out.”
On mode starts when you leave your house regardless of whether you’re alone, with friends or in mixed groups. The way you make sure you’re in on mode is you start talking to ANYONE outside of your group, as soon as possible .
It’s easy to talk to people in your group. And you should talk to people in your group, obviously. They’re your friends after all.
But it’s also really easy to get stuck talking to ONLY people in your group. Then you all show up at the bar and just talk to each other. Hours can then go by before anyone in the group starts talking to other people.
From now on, you’re going to change that starting right away. Don’t announce to your friends that you’re going to do it. Just do it, and let them follow your lead. You will find that as you start talking to other people, so will they.
So talk to people on the train. People you pass if you’re walking. The cab driver. The UBER driver. People in line at the club. The bouncers. The doorman. Anyone. If there’s women around, definitely talk to them.
Hit on a women on your way to the night venue (when possible). Try to get her to go with you and the group. Be playful and have fun.
Turn yourself on in advance by talking as much as possible, to anyone.
What you’re talking about doesn’t matter. If you’re talking to women in line, just approach it like you would any other situation. Make an assumption, change the subject, tell her/them something random, get a piece of info and move on.
At night, there’s another thing to change frequently. Change who you’re talking too . Be interested in someone while you’re talking to them, but be quick to “lose interest” in them and become interested in someone else.
Change who you’re talking to as much as you change the topic. Think social butterfly. This is what social butterflies do. They’re all over the place. And with the techniques in Chapter 5 of Make Women Chase You, you too can do just that.
You can always turn back to people in your group to change things up.
You can go in and out of the group (not physically per se, but with discussion). Say something to a friend. Say something to the woman next to you in line. Say something to a different friend. Woman in line. Different person in line. Friend. Woman in line. Friend. Etc. Etc.
The key is to just keep talking. Get so used to talking that it almost seems weird to not be talking.
Now you’re in the right mode to Storm The Beach the moment you walk through the door.
Say “fuck it” to yourself right as you walk through the door.
If you’re just kicking back, being quiet, letting everyone else talk, all the way up to walking through the door, it’s much, much harder to turn on , at that exact moment.
Guys who are practiced at this can turn from off to on instantly, anytime. But when you’re just beginning, turn on in advance.
For this Action Step, your goal is to talk to the first girl you see when you walk through the door. You’re going to do all the preparation above. And even if you talked to 5 girls in line, doesn’t matter. The moment you walk through the door, you talk to the first girl you see. No thinking. No hesitation.
Don’t worry if she’s the “right girl.” Don’t worry if she might have a boyfriend elsewhere in the venue. If she’s the first girl you see who isn’t obviously standing with a guy, she’s the “right girl” for this exercise.
Follow the conversation steps laid out in Chapter 5 of Make Women Chase You. Make assumptions, find out something about her. Spend about 1 minute. Excuse yourself and head to the bar.
That’s it.
If you get separated from the group when you stop and talk to her, who cares. They will have a seat waiting for you somewhere.
Do whatever you want for the rest of the night. They key to successfully completing this Action Step is just talking to the first girl you see, as soon as you walk through the door.
Action Step 17: Storm The Beach - Talk To 2 Woman Before Ordering A Drink
You’re going to do the exact same thing as Action Step 16.
All the prep will be the same. Go into on mode before leaving the house. Talk to everyone outside your group. Talk. Talk. Talk.
When you walk through the door, talk to the first woman you see for 1 minute. Then talk to the second woman you see for 1 minute.
Introduce yourself. Make assumptions. Get one piece of information about each girl. Head to the bar. The rest of the night is yours to do whatever.
Again, do not be concerned at all about “what if the first woman sees me talking to the second woman” or vice versa. THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN . That’s what you’re trying to make happen.
Also remember: these do not have to be women you’re interested in sexually. They do not have to be the hottest chicks in the bar. They just need to be the first two woman you see who are not obviously standing with dudes.
You’re completing an exercise here, nothing more.
If the first thing you see is two women together, just walk up and introduce yourself to both of them. Make assumptions about one of them. Get a piece of intel on her. Excuse yourself.
If you make assumptions about both women and get intel on both, that counts as 2. You’re done.
Repeat the words “fuck it” to yourself every time.
Do whatever you want for the rest of the night.
One last thing not to worry about. Don’t worry if you’re friends think you’re acting different. They will be in awe as they watch you talk to women. They will start asking for your secrets and advice.
Action Step 18: Storm The Beach - Talk To 2 Woman Before Ordering A Drink. Immediately Talk to 2 Women Before Finishing Your 1st Drink. Circle Back With At Least 2 of Them Later.
This is the next progression from Action Step 17. However, now the Beach Storming continues until you talk to 4 women. Two before you order a drink. And two right after.
For this Action Step, success means you talked to 4 women for basically 1 minute each, made 4 assumptions and got 1 piece of information from each.
That’s 4 minutes of your time, 4 assumptions and 4 pieces of information. I know you are ready to handle this. And remember, it’s not any harder than what you did last time.
In fact, it will probably be easier because you’re getting used to doing this.
During the rest of the evening, you can do whatever you want. However, to complete this action step, you need to find 2 of the 4 women and talk to them again, for at least a minute each.
This part (or any of this frankly) should not feel like a chore. You should be finding this entire adventure fun and exhilarating. If you’re not having fun flirting with women, what are you doing this for?
For the two women you’re going to reignite the conversation with, you don’t need to get their numbers, take them home, or anything like that. All you’re doing is reigniting conversation with someone you met (1) to get used to doing it and (2) to see what happens.
Throughout the night, you should also be experimenting with the other conversation and touching techniques discussed in Make Women Chase You.
Take progressive touching slow. You don’t have to do every technique discussed in How To Touch Women on the first night. Do what makes you comfortable, and then progressively push your comfort zone by adding in more touches over the upcoming weeks and months.
Action Step 19: Storm The Beach - Talk to 2 Women Before Ordering A Drink. Talk to 4 More Women Within 30 Minutes of Arriving At the Venue. Time Yourself.
Marathon day. Prep the same way. Talk. Talk. Talk. Set the stopwatch on your phone. Say “fuck it” when you walk through the door.
Your goal is to talk to 6 women within 30 minutes.
Remember that each women is a 1 minute introduction, assumption, get a piece of information, excuse yourself, move on.
If a woman blows you off, just move on. Nothing gets in your way.
When this Action Step is complete, you should be pretty comfortable with Storming the Beach, so we’ll move on to more specific techniques to practice in the next Action Steps.
Action Step 20: Tell A Woman “It’s Too Bad I’m Not Attracted To You.”
You may have been using this line already on previous nights. Regardless, tonight your goal is to specifically use it with a hot woman.
Head to the bar and Storm the Beach. Make sure to talk to at least 6 women in the first half hour, just like in the previous action step.
This should be part of your routine at this point. You should be finding that the more women you talk to right away, the funner the nights are getting, and the easier it is getting to just keep talking to people.
Once you're done storming the beach, go back to a woman you find attractive. Pick up the conversation where you left off. Use the piece of information you got earlier.
Talk to her for anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 minutes. Work on your favorite things from Chapter 5 of Make Women Chase You. Build curiosity. Build attraction. Get her laughing. Get her interested. Change the subject a lot.
Say whatever comes to mind. Tell her something about yourself.
When she’s laughing and you feel like the curiosity is there, give her a pull, like: “It’s really cool that you’re from Denver. I usually have a thing for Denver girls...it’s too bad I’m not attracted to you though.
All playful. Pause for a few beats with a smirk. Look slightly away from her for a few beats like you’re waiting for a reaction. Be too-confident in your mannerisms.
Give a few beats and then pull her in for a: I’m just messing with you hug . Then nudge her away.
Do it just to see what happens.
Action Step 21: Tell A Woman “That’s Awesome. I’m Making You My Girlfriend for the Next 5 Minutes.
Same scenario as Action Step 20. Lay all the groundwork. Storm The Beach. Find a woman you like and practice Chapter 5 - Curiosity techniques. Push and pull. Practice your touching techniques.
When the time's right, drop the line: “That’s awesome. I’m making you my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes. Put your arm around her and give her a squeeze (this is directly from the touching techniques bonus guide).
(When is the timing right? After you’re seeing the signs of curiosity discussed in Make Women Chase You -- think late in Phase 2, early Phase 3. Also, after she says something to which you can reply “that’s awesome.” Also, you can reply “that’s awesome” to almost anything, so this shouldn’t be too hard.)
Then tell her that you two should do first date stuff. Like people on a first date always tell each other their darkest childhood secret. Or always establish a secret handshake.
After a bit, make sure to playfully break up with her (push her away). Like get playfully mad at her for something she says and say “that’s it, we can’t be drinking buddies anymore.” Then change the subject to something else and move on.
Action Step 22: Tell A Woman “You’re Such A Nice Girl. We Need To Find You a “Nice” Boyfriend.” Then Play the “Find Her A Boyfriend Game.”
The first 30 minutes of your time in the bar is the same. Storm the Beach, etc.
Once you’re deep in Phase 2, early Phase 3 with a woman, drop the line above, take her hand, and then start walking around the venue. Start pointing guys out to her. Joke about how you think the two of them would make a really cute couple.
Generally pick out fugly dudes or guys she clearly wouldn’t find attractive. Pretend to know things about these guys.
“Oh that guy is totally into fishing. You would be great as baiting his hook. You’d become like a master baiter (don’t laugh when you say that….let her laugh...never laugh at your own jokes).
“That guy is a total video game nerd. You two could totally nerd out on some Halo 4. Or maybe even Super Mario Brothers…..that’s probably more your style (poke her in the ribs or bump her).”
Keep acting like you’re trying to pull her over to these guys. Let her pull you back to stop you.
You can even take it as far as to actually pull her up to a guy and try to introduce her.
Pick the fugliest dude around. Pull her over there and be like:
“Hey bro...this is kind of random, but this girl is like totally into you. She’s just too shy to come over here to say something.”
She might start blushing. She might keep trying to pull you away. She might start apologizing to Fugly about the “mistake” which you just made.
You can keep dragging it out (almost play arguing with her when she denies wanting this guy). Like: “What are you talking about? That’s not what you were saying over there.” Give a couple teases and then let it go.
“Sorry bro, I guess I was wrong. Peace.” Then let her pull you away.
Her attraction for you will be through the roof at this point.
Now change the subject and get into some Phase 3 emotional connection building.
Action Step 23: Play the Palm Reading Game
There are descriptions of how to do the palm reading game in the Make Women Chase You course.
Start off everything the same for the night.
Get to the beginning of Phase 3 and drop the “you know I’m actually a world class palm reader” line.
Try to get her laughing hysterically with your “reading.” Say ridiculous shit.
This game does not need to become your go-to line if you don’t like it. Just practice it a bit so it’s a tool in your arsenal you can bust out if needed.
Action Step 24: Flirt With A Pair of Girls. Set Up Dates With Both Of Them.
This is a classic that will prove to yourself that you are a changed man. After you do your normal routine, Storming the Beach, talking to lots of girls, etc. Find a pair of girls (who are both cute) to flirt with.
Talk to both. Drop assumptions on both. Change the subject and do all the stuff which should now be very natural. Basically hang out with both of them the way you normally would with one girl you’re escalating on. Tell stories, let them tell you stories.
Ask them about how they know each other. Learn about them. Build a connection with both of them. Make sure not to give one more attention than the other.
When the attraction seems high, when emotional connections have been established, when you feel like the three of you are in your own little bubble, close for the number like this:
“You know it’s been really fun talking with you two. Let me get your number so I can take you out sometime.” When you say “you” just kind of glance back and forth between them, or don’t look at any particular one (look between them).
Then pull out your phone and set it on the table between them. Then just wait (too-confident smirk on your face). You can look off in the distance between them.
They will be confused. Because if you’ve done this all correctly, you really haven’t indicated which one you’re interested in.
They will probably even ask “who are you talking to” or “which one of us are you talking to” or something like that.
Here’s 2 closes to try. Pick the one you like, and try the other one another time.
First one:
When they ask “who are you talking to?”, just say: “you know, I’m not sure, you’ve both been a lot of fun.”
Then pause again. Take your time. Be alpha, non-needy, and non-eager (just like you should always be).
Act like your thinking about which one you like better. Relish in the uncertain pause. Let the cliffhanger and uncertainty hang there. Keep looking at them slowly, back and forth, like you’re really trying to figure it out.
There’s a couple possibilities here. Either they will make a suggestion as to which one you should go out with. Or, they might just both sit there in silence (looking nervously at each other).
If they make a suggestion, you should just go with that. They probably talked about it already (like when they went to the restroom together). I.e. talked about which one is more into you. One may really into you and the other may be just luke warm. So if they suggest which one, go with it.
On the other hand, if they just sit there in silence. Or they look at each other confused, like they can’t figure it out. Or they don’t know what to say. Give a little time for the tension to rise and then say:
“You know, I can’t decide. Let’s all three of us go on a date.”
They will surely be surprised by that response. It’s unlikely anyone has ever asked them out like that before.
Don’t say anything else. Be patient. Let it sit there.
If they are sitting there, silent, looking like they’re thinking about it. Guess what? They are actually considering that.
They might even try to clarify like: “You mean both of us? At the same time?”
At that point just be cool and confident as fuck. Don’t say too much too fast. Assume they both want you and act like it.
“Yeah. Let’s try it. Why not?” Keep closing. Tap your finger on your phone: “put your numbers in there, let’s figure it out.”
Always be closing.
Second one:
This is similar to the second scenario from above, except you just do it directly.
So when they ask “who are you talking to?”, just say: “both of you.” Say it in a way, and have a look on your face like you’re thinking: they were dumb not to realize you were talking to both of them in the first place .
They will surely be surprised and appear dumbfounded.
So just continue with: “What, you girls don’t go on double dates regularly”
One of them: “Well sometimes, but with two guys. Not two girls and one guy.”
You: “Well, first time for everything.”
Smile. Be confident as fuck.
You: “Let’s give it a try. Why not.”
See what happens. Act like you do this all the time. Threesomes are not unheard of my friend. If you found the right pair of women, you never know….
Fallback:
If it doesn’t play out that you get both the numbers. Like they seem resistant to the idea. Then just let it go. Don’t push too hard. Act like you’re indifferent. Change the subject and close later for one of their numbers.
Do it just to see what happens.
Action Step 25: Play The Matchmaker
This is a great one when you’re out with at least 3 or 4 buddies. The more the better.
Do all your usual shit. Storm the Beach. Start talking with as many women as possible.
Later, when you start circling around to all of them, rekindle the conversations, and after a bit start trying to set them up with your buddies.
“Wow, you’re really sweet. Let me introduce you to my buddy Greg. This is Greg, he’s more outgoing than me. (they make introductions, and shortly after you say) Excuse me (and then just walk off and start talking to another chick).”
Both Greg and the woman will be dumbfounded when you do this. Don’t worry about if she’s disappointed or anything else. If she’s attracted to you (which she will be because of this behavior) she will find an exit with Greg and will do everything she can to regain your attention later.
If she happens to like Greg, then you’re literally a God which all your friends will be watching with awe.
Keep doing this over and over. Be the God that all your friends and all these newfound women think you are. Relish it.
Don’t worry….all women want to sleep with the matchmaker.
Welcome to your new life…
You’re welcome.
Course Supplement 3:
7 Mental Exercises To Get You Laid
You always have something to talk about. You always have something to say. Remember that right now, you say things all the time. You’re just not saying things in front of women. Not enough anyway. That’s what we’re going to fix.
Throughout the Make Women Chase You course, you will see the topic of starting and holding a conversation discussed thoroughly. This supplement is designed to dig deeper into some of the conversation topics to have you fully prepared.
Remember that sparking attraction in women is non-linear. You can, and should, say anything you want at any time and keep switching the topic. It’s fun and challenging. Make sure to keep it positive. She will be uber-attracted by your ability to have a free-flowing conversation.
Here is an long list of topic to prepare you to have endless conversation.
1. Two Stories About You
Telling stories is one of the best ways to communicate with women. This happens in Phase 3 - Fascination when you are building a deeper connection with her. When you tell a great story, people get mesmerized. They get lost in the story.
Women are no exception. She will be fascinated by you when you can tell a fun, exciting story. And it will prompt her to relate and reciprocate stories with you.
You should ultimately have five great stories to tell about yourself. For now, let’s start with two.
Take 1 hour and think of 2 stories about yourself. These should be true stories about yourself. They should be funny and/exciting stories (not sad stories). At least one of them should involve a woman (or multiple women). Think about any suspense that was involved in the story -- like perhaps there was some situation where the outcome was uncertain.
Here’s the beauty - life is unpredictable, so the outcome is almost always uncertain. So usually it’s more a matter of playing up the suspense, rather than finding suspense.
After you think of the stories, sit down at your computer and type them out fast. No thinking. No formatting. No spell check. Just do a mental dump on the page. Type out everything that comes to mind. Your shooting for ½ a page to 1 page for each story. If it goes longer, that’s fine.
Then close your computer.
Those stories will develop in your mind further over the next couple days.
A couple days later, go back and edit one of the stories. Shorten it to it’s core, exciting elements. Embellish it with descriptive words about the setting, characters and situation.
Make it exciting.
Make sure to talk (at least a little) about the EMOTIONS that YOU were feeling in the stories. Emotions doesn’t mean sad. You want the stories to be fun, funny, exciting, unpredictable, have some tension between characters.
The stories should have some kind of climax (get your head out of the gutter - not that kind of climax). Some kind of build up to an exciting ending.
Remember, you’re not writing the next Star Wars saga here. You’re writing out a short, exciting, true story about yourself.
Why are we writing this out?
By writing it out, you will clarify the thoughts in your mind. If you can really condense it down to between ½ page and 1 page, you will be able to tell the story clearly, with excitement, animation, pauses and suspense.
Read it through a bunch of times when you’re done. Read it outloud. Practice telling it as if a hot woman was sitting there listening.
Practice pausing as you tell the story. Practice being animated with your arms (slow and deliberate alpha movements at certain high or low points in the story). Practice your voice changing pitch and speed. Basically, practice telling an exciting story.
Once you practice it a couple times, you will remember it forever. And don’t think that you have to tell it word-for-word every time. You will naturally tweak the story in your mind over time, but the core elements will always be there.
This is a story you will be able to tell hot women for the rest of your life, so put a little effort into this and make it great.
A few days later, do the same thing with the second story.
Now you’re armed with two great stories to tell. And the beauty is you can tell them to her anytime (particularly in Phase 3).
The first time you tell it, make sure to notice how she gets quiet and lost in the story.
She’ll start giving you those “I’m fascinated” eyes.
Keep the conversation going with your fun, positive and challenging vibe, and pretty soon those eyes will turn from “fascinated” to “fuck me.”
2. 15 Minutes Per Day On Something New
Starting right now, you need to spend 15 minutes each day learning something new.
Ideally this should be stuff you’re actually are interested in, but have never taken the time to learn about.
If you have no idea where to start, find a magazine rack in a grocery store and buy 3 magazines that you would not normally buy. Start browsing through them for topics that seem interesting, but you know nothing about. Read the articles. Google for more information.
If you’re a starving student, just browse the magazines in the store and go Google the topics afterward.
Make a brief bulleted list of the topic you learned about that day and 3 facts about it. Just as important, put down 1 or 2 “emotions” you have about it. What is your opinion? How do you feel? If you’re not sure, just formulate an opinion.
This does not need to be an earth shattering opinion. Just something that helps express that you have an actual interest. That you’re not just spouting off facts.
Again, you’re not writing War and Peace. Just make a quick list. This will help you remember topics, the 3 facts and the handful of emotions about it.
Now you have 2 stories (from Exercise 1) and a list of a bunch of random topics you are “conversationally knowledgeable” about. Remember, actually writing (or typing) out the list will help you solidify in your mind what you know.
You will likely not take a huge, genuine interest in everything on your list. That’s fine. You don’t need to have a huge, genuine interest in something to have a 2 minute conversation about it.
However, try to take a huge, genuine interest in at least 1 new thing. Learn as much as you can about it. Be fascinated about it. Women are attracted to men who have genuine interests in things (besides hitting on girls), and who are always improving themselves in some way (in this case you’re improving your knowledge -- and you’re prepared to tell her all about it.)
Every bullet on your list is a random conversational thread that you can drop anytime. One conversational thread will lead to another.
For example, in Make Women Chase You, you saw an example of telling her randomly about yourself with a line such as:
“I’m Mark Taylor and I’m a sushiholic.”
Now you have a whole list of topics you can replace sushiholic with:
“I’m Mark Taylor and I just learned that [insert any of the topics on your list].”
3. Random Questions
You should have 5 go-to random questions in your arsenal. You are becoming a man who changes the subject often and whenever he wants.
As we know, changing the subject not only leaves cliffhangers and drives up curiosity, but it’s also a great way to eliminate any awkward silences.
Here are some random questions you can ask anytime (and you don’t need any advanced preparation like in the last section).
Remember, you really can just ask these whenever, it doesn’t have to be a logical time (because with women and attraction, there is no logical time).
Pick any 5 of these. Or even better, make up a couple of your own based on your personal interests. Have 5 memorized and ready to go so you can just blurt them out at any random time.
What’s your most favorite memory when you were in 4th grade?
What’s your most favorite family vacation memory as a kid?
Who was the nerdiest guy you ever went out with in highschool?
Would you rather drive a lamborghini or fly a plane, and why?
Would you rather go surfing or waterskiing, and why?
What’s the dumbest thing your boss has ever done?
What’s the craziest thing you did last year?
If you could only pick three places to travel, what would they be?
If you had the choice between seeing the Pyramids or the Great Wall of China, what you pick? And why?
To make up your own, just use the principles you see above:
- Most favorite
- Dumbest
- Pick three
- Choose between this or that
- Nerdiest
- Craziest
Anything that’s the “most” like dumbest, nerdiest is perfect. Like, “what is the most ridiculous pick up line you’ve ever heard?”
Anything that’s choose between two things, or name three things works great too.
As always, everything should be asked with your fun, positive and challenging vibe. And you should be genuinely curious in her answer.
Also, remember that all of these questions can lead to interesting answers which can create whole new conversations. Listen to what she says and go with it. Tease her along the way.
You: If you had the choice of seeing the Pyramids or the Great Wall of China which would you pick?
Her: Definitely the Great Wall.
You: Why, you have something against camels?
Her: No it’s just that……(and now maybe she goes into some story about the significance of the Great Wall to her)
And I can’t reiterate this point enough: It might seem totally illogical for her to be coming to the end of a discussion about the spinach salad and for you to say: So what’s your most favorite memory when you were in 4th grade?
Doesn’t matter if it seems illogical to you . If she’s like “that’s random,” then you’re doing good. Saying “that’s random” doesn’t mean it’s bothering her. It means it’s challenging and it’s her way of finding a few beats so she can think about how to answer.
If she says “that’s random” and then pauses for a response, say: “Now I’m really curious, let’s hear what you got.”
4. Tell Me More...
You should be realizing that answering “yes/no” questions isn’t the greatest way to keep conversation going. This includes questions where the answer may not actually be “yes” or “no” but it’s still short. Like: “so when did you meet her?” Her: “last year.”
Despite your knowledge of this, you are bound to drop “yes/no” questions along the way. Everybody does it. Nobody is perfect.
“Tell me more” is a great way to almost always be able to keep her talking after answering a yes/no question.
When you say “tell me more” say it like a question with a little inflection in your voice at the end. Say it like you’re surprised she didn’t elaborate. Say it (like everything) with a little smirk and some playfulness.
For example: “Well it sounds like you’re really into dogs.”
Her: “Yeah.”
You: “Tell me more…(you looking surprised that she didn’t elaborate)”
Her: “Like what?”
You: “I don’t know. Like what was the name of your first dog? How many dogs do you have now? Do you have a hairless German shepherd who sleeps under your pillow? Whatever I should know about you and the whole dog situation.”
Often she will just elaborate after “tell me more.” In some cases she may say something similar to “like what?” In that case just spout off a bunch of random shit that can get her talking. As always, try to throw in something illogical. Like a hairless German Shepherd who sleeps under your pillow…
That illogical statement takes the pressure off of her and makes everything playful rather than a bunch of questions for her to monotonously answer. It gives her permission to just talk about whatever comes to mind.
And remember, “tell me more” is just one tool in your arsenal. If you drop a “yes/no” question and she answers like above, you can do other things, like something from Random Questions above. And you can always change the subject (with a question or a statement). Examples:
From Random Question above:
For example: “Well it sounds like you’re really into dogs.”
Her: “Yeah.”
You: “If there could only be three breeds of dogs in the world and you had to choose, which would you pick?”
Change the Subject with a Question:
For example: “Well it sounds like you’re really into dogs.”
Her: “Yeah.”
You: “Hey look at that couple over there. Do they look like “dog people” to you? I’m going to say that’s a poodle-guy. What do you think about the girl?”
Change the Subject with a Statement:
For example: “Well it sounds like you’re really into dogs.”
Her: “Yeah.”
You: “That’s cool. So the other day I was talking to by buddy Kristina and she was telling me that……”
Keep “tell me more” in the back of your head and try it out with friends or family. Just see what happens and how people react. After testing it out, you’ll hone the best way to ask it and you’ll get a feeling for timing.
5. “On Another Note…”
You do not need a transitional phrase like this one to change the subject. You can really just change the subject at random.
But keep this one in the back of your mind as well. Sprinkle it in here and there. It would not be good to say “On another note….” constantly before changing the subject. That would make you sound like a parrot.
Keep it around as a fall-back. Like:
Her: “I agree, that movie was really cool.”
You: “Yeah I really felt alive when walking out of the theater. I felt like I was the star of the show…. Hey, on another note…..”
Then you change the topic to something else.
You can practice that one on friends and family too. Just test it out a few times to get used to it. Then you’ll be able to sprinkle it in whenever you need it.
Just to reiterate, you don’t need to use a transitional phrase. Most of the time, just change the subject at random.
6. How Do You “Feel” About Things?
Guys don’t “feel” any way about things. That’s probably what you’re saying. And you’re right. Guys are generally less emotional about things than women.
So I’m not asking you to think about “how you feel” about things to get in touch with your inner-self. Or to get into some spiritual mumbo jumbo.
I’m just asking you to think about it in the context of stories.
For this one, just plant this seed in your mind. Now as you go about your day and something happens, just ask yourself afterwards, “if I had to describe how I felt about that situation, what words would I use?”
Think of a couple of descriptive words.
If you see an interesting scene. Like you’re at a baseball game with some friends. Take a moment to think about how you would describe the scene to a woman. What emotional / descriptive words would you use?
Here’s your task. Get a sheet of paper. A sticky note. Anything. Put it by your computer.
Whenever you do this exercise and think of a word. Go to your computer later that day. Go to a thesaurus and look up the word. You will find lots of synonyms. Pick one or two that you would normally not use and write them on your list.
Again, these should be descriptive words for feelings or settings. (Settings would be like: ...and the wind was cascading down from over the……. )
Over the next month, get 20 new words written down on your list. Again, these are not the word you thought of (because that’s a word you would probably normally use). These are synonyms of that word.
Then start trying places to incorporate those words in your normal life just to practice them.
Why are we doing this?
Great communication is incredibly attractive to women. The better you can communicate, the more you will find women fascinated by you. Being descriptive with your speech just another way to accomplish this.
Also, you’re most likely going to have words on your list that most guys don’t use. Different is attractive. Being intelligent is attractive. If all the boneheads are telling her the “the wind was blowing” and you’re telling her “the wind was cascading” it will pique her interest.
She won’t even know why. She may not even pick out the word (like cascading) as being something different. But she will hear it nonetheless. And subconsciously she will know it’s different.
7. Body Language
Body language represents more than half of your communication.
A blockhead with amazing alpha body language will pull more women than a smart, rich, good looking dude with shitty, beta body language.
Seriously.
The Make Women Chase You course goes into basic details about different components of body language.
But body language can realistically be a course in and of itself.
So for purposes of these 7 exercises, I want you to pick just one thing to improve.
Just 1 thing can make a world of difference in how you non-verbally communicate with women.
You can pick whatever you want, but I suggest: Slow Down
Because slow down applies to almost all areas of body language.
Just slow down. Practice slowing down. In whatever you do, walking, eating, getting up, sitting down, turning your head, talking, moving your eyes. Just take notice of it and slow everything down by 50%.
Now that you’re thinking about it, you will start catching yourself doing things too fast.
Did you put that fork down on the table between bites? No? Then you’re probably eating too fast.
Did you turn your head really quickly when you heard something? Then you’re reacting too fast.
Take note of how fast you’re walking. Can you slow it down. Put a little swagger in your step. Walk around like you own the place. Walk into venues like you own the place.
When you get out of that chair, are you popping up like a jack-in-the-box? Or are you standing up slowly, with intention. Like the way the alpha male lion might stand up after 4 hour nap.
You should also start observing people around you (including men). Do you see men scurrying around. Walking too fast. Eyes and hands flailing around with twitchy movements.
Observe them so you can see what not to do.
Bonus 1. Physical Exercise
Newsflash: Women are attracted to men who are physically fit and always improving their bodies.
If you’re a dude who hits the gym regularly, then this section should be easy.
For you, pick one thing that you’ve been wanting to improve in your exercise routine, but haven’t done anything about.
Pick that one thing that’s been nagging at you. The one thing that you’ve been putting off. Or that one goal that you’ve been struggling to achieve.
As you go through the Make Women Chase You course, focus hard on that one thing.
Not only will it help you achieve your goal, but it will give you a great story to tell when you’re on dates about how you set a goal to achieve this one thing and did it (or are in the process of doing it).
This story does not count as one of the two stories you need to come up with in the first bullet of this guide. This is a bonus story, just for her :-)
I can’t stress this enough: Women love to talk about bodies and physical fitness. They are highly attracted to men who are constantly striving to improve their health and physical fitness. So do it. And talk about it with them.
Now if you’re a dude who saw some dumbbells once, and that’s about it, you need to get started doing something.
If you have some ideas. If you bought some exercise program and haven’t popped in the first DVD yet. Then do that program. If you’ve been thinking about joining the gym, but haven’t. Do that.
Just do some kind of physical exercise. It doesn’t really matter what. Whatever you do, it will make you feel better, it will make you look better, and it will make a great story to add to your conversation arsenal.
If you’re at a complete loss. Just do push ups. The Make Women Chase You course is about 4 weeks long. So do a routine like this:
Week 1: 30 push ups per day
Week 2: 40 push ups per day
Week 3: 50 push ups per day
Week 4: 60 push ups per day
It doesn’t matter how you organize the sets/reps. Do 1 set of 30 if you can. Do 6 sets of 5. Do 30 sets of 1 if that’s what it takes. Just get off your ass and do something.
You’re not going to become a world class bodybuilder doing push ups. But here’s the key: You don’t need to be a world class bodybuilder to attract women. You just need to be taking steps forward in improving your physical fitness on a daily basis. And (equally important) you need to share your story about physical fitness with her.
Here’s my disclaimer: I’m not a professional fitness trainer or a doctor, so make sure to consult a licensed physician before beginning any physical exercise routine.
Bonus 2. New Diet
Don’t get too scared. You don’t need to become a vegan. Actually, you don’t need to change anything about your diet at this point, unless you want to.
What you should do is think of any girl you know. Just a friend is fine. Call her up and ask her if she’s on any special kind of diet. Or what kind of diet she might recommend (even if her fat ass isn’t on any diet lol).
Then go get a book about that diet. Read up on it a little bit. If you like it, start to implement in your life. If not, just read about it.
Why are you doing this? Two reasons.
First, women love to talk about health and diet. So there you go. Now you have knowledge about a topic that women love to talk about. Another tool in your arsenal.
Pretend you’re talking to a girl who totally disagrees with the diet you’re reading about. This would actually be great.
As soon as you tell her about it, she will immediately want to tell you all about how that diet is wrong.
Oh and btw she will also want to tell you about what diet you should really be on. Naturally, it’s the one she’s on. And now she’s going to tell you all about it. How wonderful :-) You’ve piqued her interest and now she’s talking away.
She’s opening up to you. You are learning about her and her life. And all because you read some book about kale-wrapped bacon strips.
Here’s the second reason.
You set up this little scenario so that a woman recommended this diet to you. That’s preselection. Now your story includes both diet and preselection.
Remember, women are attracted to guys that other women take an interest in. So if a woman recommended this diet to you, the woman you’re attracting hears that another woman took an interest in you. Golden.
Another disclaimer: I’m not a certified nutritionist so make sure to consult a licensed physician before beginning any diet routine.
Bonus 3. Social Media
You already know to get as many pictures as you can of you with women. You know to get those posted on social media. Why? Because that’s preselection. Women who are interested in you will eventually check you out on social media. And you want them to find those pictures.
Here’s the next step. Every picture that you get probably has a story associated with it. You must have been doing something to get that picture. You must have been somewhere.
Whatever you were doing, wherever you were, those are all great stories that involve preselection.
Now you might be asking, “Well yeah….but those were women I was dating or hitting on. They weren’t my buddies. I can’t tell a woman I’m currently hitting on about a girl I was dating in the past can I?”
Yes. You can. You dating other women means you must be in demand. Preselected. So you can feel perfectly confident about saying that.
However, if you’re still uncomfortable, here’s your new thought process: every women you’re not dating right now , is your buddy.
So even if you were hitting on her, and nothing ultimately came of it (other than the picture of you and her), that’s still you’re buddy.
“Hey have you ever been down to the Red Elvis? You should totally check it out. I was down there with my buddy Tara a few weeks back and…..”
[In the above case Tara could have been a woman you were dating at the time or a woman you were picking up. Either way, she’s now your buddy.]
Also, when you’re telling stories like this, don’t hesitate to pull up FB on your phone and show her the pictures. This way, she will not only hear about you and another woman doing something, she will see the pictures of it.
Bonus 4. Palm Reading
Yes, you read that correctly. This is one of the best games to play with a chick you just met (and no guy does it).
Wait until you feel some curiosity from her first. She should be interested in you before you do this. She should be laughing and smiling with you already. You also want to do this with her alone. This is not something for when you’re in a group with other people. Think of this as something a little more intimate.
To prep for this, here’s what you need to know about palm reading: Nothing.
However, before you try this routine, just go on YouTube and watch a couple videos.
All you’re looking for is the general vibe and setting of how this is done.
When you do it, you find some random time to say:
“You know, we’re really getting to know each other n’all. But before I feel comfortable getting too close to you...I need to read your palms. I’m a professional palm reader by the way (you’re saying all of this jokingly, obviously).
She will totally be into it. They always are. Or she’ll pretend not to be interested, but secretly will be interested nonetheless.
In case you haven’t noticed, you are now holding her hands in your hands.
That’s right folks, touching. Not for just a quick high-five moment either.
She literally gives you full physical access to her hands for as long as you keep up the routine.
Then you proceed to give her a ridiculous “reading.”
You trace your index finger down some line on the palm of her hand:
“Ooww….um...this doesn’t look good.” (all playful, little smirk).
“Yeah….this line says…..um…..no, I shouldn’t tell you.”
Her: “(laughing) c’mon, what is it.”
“Well...this line says you were born with a tail. Do you have a tail?”
“Yeah this line says that you’re prone to eating excessive amounts of prunes. (half whispering) That’s kind of nasty.”
So she’s laughing. You’re joking around. You’re holding her hands in yours.
Golden.
Bonus 5. “Have You Ever Heard Of….”
This is another transition for changing the subject. This has a similar effect to “Hey, on another note.” Again, not required in order to change the subject. Just another tool to sprinkle in. Practice it with friends and family.
This is a great place to insert one of the new random facts you’ve put on your bulleted list.
“Hey have you ever heard of [insert something new you just learned about]?”
Bonus 6. Start Noticing Things In Your Surroundings
In Make Women Chase You, we’ve discussed commenting on things in your environment as topics of discussion. Just comment on anything around you and ask her about it.
It can be anything. A picture. A strange statue or decoration. Someone else in the venue. If you see something and it piques your interest, just say whatever is on your mind.
To practice this, take a moment once a day for the next month and just stop and ask yourself: “if I was talking to a girl right now, right here, what is something in the surroundings that I would comment on.”
Then look around and find something. Then come up with one statement or question. You don’t have to write anything down or even remember it later.
Every situation will be unique so all you practicing is noticing something and commenting on it.
You might think this is easy and no practice is required. And you may be right. If you try this exercise and find it easy, then you’re good. But if you try this exercise and find yourself at a loss for something to say or ask, then take a few minutes to think about it.
Like anything you practice, it will become easy. Maybe 5 or 10 times and you will start finding it simple to identify something and make a comment about it. Practicing it will also make it natural.
Bonus 7. Passion
Practice saying things with passion in your everyday life. This goes back to not filtering. Have an opinion on things and speak about them with passion.
Too many people say things that are statements, but they almost sound like questions. That’s because they’re stated with timidity and uncertainty.
Practice in everyday conversation saying things boldly and loudly and clearly. Assume that everyone wants to hear what you have to say. Once you assume that you’ll find something amazing….they will actually want to hear what you have to say.
Bonus 8. “Excuse me” vs “I’m sorry”
It’s very common for people, when they say something incorrect, to say “Sorry”...and then continue with the correct statement.” Like:
“Yeah I told him it was 50 bucks and then I...sorry, I told him it was 60 bucks and then I was like….”
Stop saying your sorry . If you are a person who says that, change to “excuse me” immediately.
They mean the same thing on the surface. But “I’m sorry” has the subconscious implication that you feel bad about something you said.
Women don’t want guys who are sorry. They want guys who say what they think. And if you happen to state something incorrect then: “excuse me...I told him it was 60 bucks and…..”
Bonus 9. Stop Laughing When It’s Not Funny
People have the tendency to laugh when things are not funny. Why? They do it to dispel tension. They do it to try to ease awkward moments.
Laughing when things are not funny says that you’re a nervous person. That you are laughing to dispel tension.
Now that you’re aware if it, see if you catch yourself making those fake little laughs when people say stupid shit that really isn’t funny.
Stop doing that. If something is funny, laugh your ass off. Give one of those deep belly laughs. Laughter is contagious. If you start rolling with laughter, she will too. But if you laugh at stupid shit, it shows her you’re nervous like everyone else.
Also, never laugh at your own jokes. Say funny shit with a straight face and let her laugh.
Bonus 10. Find Your Nickname
Identify what your childhood nickname was and come up with a funny story about it. Something hysterical. Practice telling that story with drama, pauses and humor. Nicknames are a great topic of conversation to break the ice, so have a great story about yours that you’re ready to share.
If you didn’t have a childhood nickname, give yourself a nickname starting today, and make up a funny story about it.
Bonus 11. Your Go To Date Story
You need to come up with a story of an ideal first date. Your Go To date. To write this, imagine you’re telling a beautiful women about a really exciting date that you will take her on.
The date should involve multiple locations (such as a boardwalk, restaurant, mall, movie, theme park, ball game, casino, comedy club, bar, or whatever). A fantastic date should involve 3 venues minimum. Ideally 4. Remember that spending time with you in multiple locations creates the illusion of knowing you longer.
The story should be vivid, descriptive, funny, fun and contain just a touch of romance. It should be something that a woman would think: “wow, I would really like to do that.”
Write this out. ½ a page to 1 page. Be detailed. Use some of the new descriptive words from your list. Do the usual mental dump, close the computer and come back and edit it a few days later.
Practice telling this story. You are going to tell this specific story to lots of women in the upcoming weeks, months and years.
You only need 1 Go To Date story, so make it fantastic. Also make it realistic, because you’re going to take lots of women on this specific date in the upcoming weeks, months and years as well.
Final Thought
As you become the greatest version of yourself. As you start improving all areas of your approach, communication, touching and so on, you’re going to start noticing that women reacting to you differently.
This may happen quickly and suddenly. Women are going to start taking an interest. Their gaze will rest on you longer before it pulls away. They’re going to look like they want to sleep with you (because if you’re doing things right…..they will want to sleep with you).
And not just one chick. Sometimes.
Lots of women. Regularly.
If you’re not used to this kind of reaction, it can be quite exciting. It feels great when women are looking at you like they’d like to rip your clothes off.
When this first starts to happen, it’s very easy to feel like “you’re done.” Like “you’ve got her.” But until she’s sitting on your lap on your living room couch with her tongue down your throat and her bra on the floor, it’s very easy to revert to “old ways” and start following your “old patterns” of interacting with women.
It’s very easy to start letting her take the lead. It’s very easy to start pulling her too much. To show too much interest, too fast. To start smothering. Doing this can make the attraction dissipate quickly. And once that happens, it’s often hard to get it back.
So when you see her starting to respond to you differently, know you’re doing things right. And make sure to keep it up. Keep up the playful, fun, positive and challenging vibe all the way to the end. Keep teasing. Keep pulling her in and pushing her away. Keep changing the subject and being unpredictable. Keep your body language slow. Keep your stories fascinating.
The more she starts showing attraction toward you, the more you can keep playfully pushing her away. Keep that up and she will become captivated by you.
Course Supplement 4:
How To Touch Women
Touching is crucial to building attraction with women. When you’re interested in a woman, you want to start touching her right away. This Bonus Supplement will show you exactly how to start touching her, and how to progressively increase touching.
First, let’s just be clear that women want to be touched by men they find attractive. If you don’t touch them, they will actually think that you’re not attracted to them, or that you want to be friends. Both bad things.
Second, just like talking to women in a bar gets harder and harder the longer you wait, touching a woman you’re interested in gets harder the longer you wait. So the system below is designed to get you touching right away, and continue touching throughout the phases of attraction.
You will see in the system below that touching progresses form “public areas” to “private areas.” This means public and private areas of HER body. “Public areas” is going to mean parts of her body that anybody (including friends) can touch. These are essentially hands, arms, shoulders and upper back. Stomach may also be in there under certain circumstances which you’ll see below.
“Private areas” starts with her lower back. You will see an easy transition, which you should always use, to slide your hand from her upper back to her lower back. This is you non-verbally indicating that your intention is to move from the public/friend areas to the private/sexual areas.
After the lower back, it progresses to hips, sides of her ass, legs and then ass cheeks.
You will also see that an easy way to initiate a new level of touching is just a “tap” or a “one beat touch.” After that, you can touch the same area for two beats. Then three beats. Etc.
You should operate under the assumption that once you’ve touched her in a certain spot, that you now have permission to touch her there again.
However, you should also operate under the Two Steps Forward / One Step Back mentality. Essentially this means going back to the hands, shoulders, arms and upper back, in between progressing to more private areas. For example, if you touch her lower back, then you would want to touch her hands/shoulders again, before progressing to her hips. After hips, touch her hands/shoulders again, before progressing to the sides of her ass. Always go back a little before going forward.
In addition, touching should be done with an “on/off” approach. Touch. Then don’t touch. Touch. Then take your hands away. Touch. Remove. Back and forth. Etc. Etc. Don’t just be all over her. Push and pull. Reach and withdraw. Just like everything else.
Also, you don’t have to do every touch in the system below. Some touches will only be possible in certain positions. You should simply try to progress along the system without jumping too far ahead, completing what’s possible and not skipping too many steps at a time. And of course, withdrawing and pulling back.
Lastly, this guide is written based on interpersonal customs in North America. So please be aware of local customs and adjust this guide accordingly in other parts of the world. In addition, this guide is for social settings / dating situations where you’re making your sexual intentions known. This is not for the workplace or any workplace social event. Don’t touch women at work.
Here’s the system.
- Hand shake (with a touch to the back of the hand, shoulder or upper back)
- Fist bumps and high fives (get them going right away)
- Touch the upper back
- Arm around her back squeeze
- Poke her in the ribs
- Upper back / lower back slide (this is where we begin transitioning into more “private areas”
- B oth hands on her shoulders / Two arm squeeze (hug)
- “Accidently” bump into her
- Nudging her into things
- Bumping then hugging
- Show me your muscles
- Secret hand shakes and palm reading
- Tuck her hair behind her ear
- Both hands on her hips
- Touch the top of her leg
- T ouch the side of her ass
- Touch the ass cheeks
- Show me your muscles - revisited
- Hair
- Where not to touch
- Touches reserved for her - arm punching and elbowing
Hand Shake (with a touch to the back of the hand, shoulder or upper back)
Most interactions in western culture start off with a handshake. The handshake you give most people right now probably involves your right hand. Your left hand is doing nothing.
The first step to improving your handshake with women is to incorporate your left hand. The creates two points of contact instead of one.
The simplest way to do this is to put your left hand over her right hand. So it would be: both of your right hands come together, and then you place your left hand over the top of her right hand. You essentially shake her right hand with both of your hands.
Take your time. Hold onto her hand an extra few beats. There’s no prize for rushing through a handshake.
So it would be: “My name is Jack (you hold out your right hand). Who are you?” “Stacey” (she takes your right hand -- as soon as she takes it, you put your left hand over her right hand. Then you hold (shaking lightly) her hand for the entire time you are saying something like): “Good to know you Stacey. I just had to stop and tell you that you look amazing.” (You’re still holding when she says): “Thank you!” (Then you hold for a few more beats as you begin saying something else. You can release as you start the next statement): “You’re welcome (release). I knew I’d kick myself for the rest of the day if I didn’t stop and say hi.”
You’ve probably been holding her hand for 5 - 10 seconds at this point. This is more contact than a simple 2 second right-hands-only shake. More contact is better.
The second (and better way) is to touch her shoulder or upper back with your left hand.
Touching her upper back may only be possible if you are shaking hands when she is turned slightly to the side. If you’re face to face, the upper back will probably be out of reach. In that case, just touch the shoulder.
You just simply place your left hand on the side of her shoulder (or upper back) for 1 to 2 beats, while you’re shaking her right hand.
After 1 to 2 beats, remove your left hand. You can still continue shaking with the right for a few beats longer. You can also put your left hand over her right hand as above.
So it would be: right hands meet, your left hand goes on her shoulder for 1 to 2 beats, and then it goes on the top of her left hand for another few beats.
The shoulders and upper back are “public” areas so it’s a perfectly acceptable touch when meeting someone. It’s just the way you shake hands (from now on).
Touching the shoulder or upper back immediately gets touching started. The point of this is to just get started. As I said earlier, the longer you wait, the harder it is. So get started with a shoulder or upper back touch right away.
If you’re the kind of person who doesn’t normally touch people, you can practice this with anyone. Even men.
Like: “Steve, how you doing (your right hands meet, your left hand touches him on the shoulder or upper back for 1 to 2 beats). “It’s been (remove your left hand, keep shaking with the right) a long time.”
Fist Bumps and High Fives
You should start using fist bumps and high fives right away. Within the first minute of talking to a woman. These two serve essentially the same purpose and you use them interchangeably when:
- She says something cool.
- She says something you agree with.
Here’s the secret: everything she says can be interpreted as cool, just so you can throw a fist bump.
Here’s some examples:
She’s from New Jersey.
You say: “Jersey. Nice!” or “Here’s to Jersey” or “I’m feelin’ Jersey” or “Jersey girl” or just “Jersey,” and you say it in a way that makes it seem like Jersey is really cool.
As you say it, hold out your fist for a bump.
She’s vegetarian: You say “Vegetarian. Nice.” or “Here’s to vegetarians” or “I’m feelin’ that” and you say it in a way that makes it seem like vegetarians are really cool.
You can say “I like that” or “I’m feelin’ that” or “That’s what I’m talking about” to almost anything she says and then hold out your fist for a bump.
A high five works exactly the same way. Just hold up your hand for a high five instead of holding out your fist for a bump.
Why do you want to do this?
Because you want to keep touching, so touching feels natural. You can give her the greatest handshake and shoulder touch in the world, but if you don’t touch her again for the next 20 minutes, it’s like going back to square one.
So once you’ve got the momentum going (i.e. the touching started), keep it up.
Touch the Upper Back
You want to touch her upper back as soon as possible. Within the first few minutes.
This is true even if you touched her upper back during the handshake.
Remember that the upper back is a “public area”, so you can start touching there right away.
This is really simple if you’re walking or standing somewhere. Like let’s say you meet her in the lobby of a restaurant. You shake hands, you touch her shoulder. If you’re waiting a few minutes to be seated, maybe you’ve gotten a fist bump in already.
Then the hostess says, “follow me.”
You guide your woman to go in front of you, by placing your hand flat on her upper back, and nudging her ever-so-slightly as she begins to walk. Once she takes a step or two, your hand will naturally come off.
This is actually a great opportunity to touch her lower back too. The lower back is the first step of touching her “private areas.”
In general, you’d wait to touch her lower back until the “upper back / lower back slide” later. But in the case of guiding her to walk (like to follow a host or to guide her through a door), touching the lower back is perfectly acceptable for a man and women who just met under the context of dating/relationship. So if you can, replace upper back with lower back in this scenario.
If you met her and she’s sitting (like on a barstool), then the scenario above doesn’t work at the current moment. In this case, you’ve still gone through the handshake, the shoulder or upper back touch, a fist bump. Now, you just put your hand on her upper back with basically any statement that you make. Hold for a beat, then take it off.
Then do it again. Hold for two beats and take it off. Then three beats. You’re doing this to get her used to your hand being there. It also lays the foundation for the “upper back / lower back slide” later. Here’s some examples:
“Oh that totally reminds me of something.” (pause for dramatic effect, raise the palm of your hand flat against her upper back - make it natural. When you pause, look like you’re really thinking about what the “something” is, and what you’re going to say next. The hand rising to her back is all just part of the dramatic build up - like it’s happening subconsciously). “I was once involved (remove hand) in this group where we……”
That was a 1 to 2 beat touch.
“That’s the funniest thing (palm comes up flat against her back) I’ve ever heard.” (pause for a beat or two like you’re really pondering whatever she said that was so funny -- like you’re looking slightly up and away, off into the distance, in thinking mode. Your hand is just resting on her back. Hold as you start the next sentence and remove): “Wow...that really is ridiculous. So anyway, (remove hand) when you were working at the coffee shop what did…….”
That was a 2 to 3 beat touch.
Putting your hand flat against her back on pauses or punchlines makes it seem really natural.
When you’re doing this, don’t count the beats or anything. Make it natural. Make it part of the way you talk and interact.
Putting Your Hand On Her Shoulder or Putting Your Arm Around Her For a Squeeze
As you start mastering the conversation techniques in Make Women Chase You, you will start seeing that almost anything she says can be interpreted two ways.
So let’s say she says anything about liking or disliking something
- I think Aerosmith is the greatest band of all time
- Yeah I’m totally into Molly Cyrus
- I’m a huge fan of clean eating
- I volunteer at the shelter twice a week. Dogs are my life
- I can’t stand Drake
- I can’t stand people who won’t even try being vegetarians even once
- I’ve got a real problem with [whatever]
You can respond to these in lots of ways, but you always have two fallbacks which are complete opposites:
You can fervently agree and be like: “That’s it, I’m making you my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes.”
You can fervently disagree and be like: “That’s it, I can see we’re never going to get along.”
Remember, you say everything playfully, with a smirk, as a joke.
So how can you touch her in either of these cases?
Let’s start with you agree (the girlfriend for 5 minutes thing):
If you’re side by side (like standing at the bar), then put one arm around her, grasp her opposite shoulder (so your arm is across her upper back with your hand grabbing her opposite shoulder) and give her a playful squeeze.
The side of her body and the side of your body should be touching when you do the squeeze.
The sides of your bodies will probably be touching as soon as you put your arm around her. But if not, the squeeze should make the sides of your bodies touch. Hold for 2 beats and release.
The movement should start as you’re saying the line, like:
“That’s it, (your arm starts moving up behind her back), I’m making you (your arm is now on her upper back) my girlfriend (your hand gently grasps her opposite shoulder) for the next (you start the squeeze, the sides of your bodies touch) five minutes (you hold the squeeze for 1 to 2 beats after you finish talking, then release).”
If you’re not standing next to her. Let’s say you’re both at a high top table. She’s sitting at 6:00 o’clock and you’re standing at 9:00 o’clock. You can be playful and walk around “the corner” of the table to do the squeeze, like:
“That’s it, (you pause talking for a beat or two and walk around the corner of the table so that you are now next to her, side by side) I’m making you (you’re raising your arm, putting it around her and grabbing her opposite shoulder) my girlfriend for the (your hand gently grasps her opposite shoulder and starts the squeeze) next five minutes (you hold the squeeze for 1 to 2 beats after you finish talking, then release and go back to 9:00 o’clock).”
This is a physical pull and push. You pull her in with the squeeze and then push her away by releasing and moving back to where you were.
Alternative:
If you’re at a point in the conversation where you feel some attraction from her, and you want to keep going with this discussion thread, release the squeeze, but keep your arm there a bit longer.
So you’re like: “That’s it, I’m making you my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes.” (while performing the squeeze as described above). Then you release the squeeze but keep your hand there and continue talking with:
“Alright so now we’re on our first date. Let’s do some first date stuff. (your arm is just lightly resting on her back with your hand cupped on her opposite shoulder as you say all this - just there, not squeezing or doing anything in particular)”
When you’re done saying that, then remove your arm.
Remember touching is a progression. You don’t want to smother. So while this was a great way to extend the touching while you continued with the whole “new girlfriend on a date” thing, you still need to perform a push, so take your arm away.
Then keep up the girlfriend routine like:
If you want to ask her something to get her talking:
“So what do people do on first dates?”
“So what’s your favorite first date activity?”
If you want to move locations:
“New couples should always shoot pool on their first date. C’mon, let’s go” (lead her by the hand to the pool table area)
“New couples should always have a first date dance. C’mon let’s go” (lead her by the hand to the dance floor)
If you want to touch her more:
“So new couples always need to have a secret handshake” (teach her a handshake - something short, like 5 moves, not something that takes 20 minutes to remember.
Always include a high five or a ‘slap-me-five’ as one of the moves. Then practice the shake a couple times with her. When the high five or ‘slap-me-five’ comes, pull your hand away from her like you would with a kid.
If a girl is attracted to you enough, she will do the shake. If she’s a cool chick, she will do the shake. If she’s not attracted to you enough yet or she’s just a pain in the ass, then she might roll her eyes or something at the suggestion of the shake.
In that case, playfully be like “actually, I don’t think you’re ready for it.” or “actually, I don’t think you’ve earned it yet.” And then change the subject.
If she flips it on you and says “what do you like to do on a first date” or “what’s your favorite first date.” You say:
“On first dates new couples always tell each other their most embarrassing childhood experience. You think you can handle that? (if she says yes) Ok, we’ll let’s hear it, and don’t lie.
If she insists you go first, just go first. (But you can playfully resist first so you’re not just doing what she says, like: “Wow, yours must be really embarrassing if you won’t go first. Did you go swimming in trough of pig leftovers or something.” Then look at her all skeptical. Then: “OK I’ll go first” -- said as if it was your idea).
You both talking about this stuff will drive the conversation to creating an emotional connection, which is exactly where you want to go.
Then, when you do start telling the story, get all playfully-serious and take her hands (or at least one hand) in yours like you’ve got this really serious thing to tell her. Just take the hand, don’t ask, assume everything. Then hold her hand cupped in yours as you start telling the story.
You don’t have to hold her hand for the entire story (but you can if it feels natural). At some point in the story you will probably become animated with your arms, so at that natural point, just let the hand go. Again, don’t smother. Take the hand, hold it for a bit and then just let it go.
Let’s Say You Disagree:
You can fervently disagree and be like: “That’s it, I can see we’re never going to get along.”
Here’s the beauty: You can do exactly the same thing as above.
“That’s it, (your arm starts moving up behind her back), I can see (your arm is now on her upper back) that we’re (your hand gently grasps her opposite shoulder) never going to (you start the squeeze, the sides of your bodies touch) get along (you hold the squeeze for 1 to 2 beats after you finish talking, then release).”
This is nice and confusing. You say something that’s a push, but at the same time, you pull her with a physical squeeze.
Remember, you’re not really telling her that, in fact, you two would make a shitty couple and not get along. You’re just being playful and joking around. That’s why incorporating a squeeze works just as well as in the other scenario.
Alternative:
You can also do the opposite. Instead of pulling her with a squeeze, just give her a lite push on the shoulder. Again, you’re standing side by side, you just put your hand on her shoulder that’s closest to you and give a nudge. A small push away.
So you’re like:
“That’s it (hand goes on her shoulder, nudge), I can see we’re never going to get along.” Stand silent for a beat or two. Stand confident with a smirk. Let the push sink in. And then just change the subject.
Alternative:
If she said something really embarrassing or ridiculous or there’s an opportunity to be overly dramatic.
Think: a situation where you would put your face in one your hands and shake your head (like: O. M. G. (head is in hand, head is shaking) I…...can’t…….believe you…... like……)
You can put your other hand on her shoulder while you’re doing that. So your face is in one hand, your other hand is just lightly holding her shoulder that is closest to you. It’s just resting on her shoulder as you drag out the OMG response.
Even when you take your face out of your hand to continue talking, the hand on her shoulder can just rest there for as many as 5 to 10 more beats as you continue talking.
Then just release at a natural point.
When you do the release, if you are still acting dumbfounded, like you can’t believe what she said, just let your arm “fall” off her shoulder to your waist. The way you would just drop a raised arm when you can’t believe something.
Doing this will allow your hand to brush down the upper part of her arm as it falls to your side. But since your arm is “falling” lifelessly, the brush doesn’t appear to have the intention of you rubbing her upper arm.
Nonetheless, the brush is still there.
Poke Her In The Ribs
This is great for anytime she’s being a smartass. Or when she teases you. Just pause for a beat or two after she makes some smartass comment, and then do it.
Here’s how you do it.
The first time, just act like you’re going to poke her in the ribs, but don’t actually do it.
Put your hand out. Stick your index finger out. Point it at her ribs. Even make the motion of poking her in the ribs, but stop short of actually doing it.
Your face should have the “you’re being a smartass, I’m going to poke you in the ribs look” - like lips pursed up tight, eyes wide - the same look you would give a kid you were about to poke in the ribs.
Gauge her reaction. If she seems uncomfortable with it, poking in the ribs may not be right for this chick (maybe she had a big brother who poked her in the ribs all the time and she hates that).
If she’s non-reactive or laughs or is playful about it (or she tries to poke you in the ribs right after), then this is a fine move to use with her.
From then on, do the poke just like this:
Put your hand out. Stick your index finger out. Point it at her ribs. Make the “poke face.” And you should look like you’re about to thrust hard. Even actually start the thrust hard. But stop short just before reaching her, and then just “touch her in the ribs.”
In other words: you can be overly-dramatic about the whole set up, but keep the actual poke lite and playful.
The point is not to jam her in the ribs and hurt her. Doing that won’t get you anywhere. But a lite playful poke when she’s being a smartass is a big turn on.
Upper Back / Lower Back Slide
This is a simple “public area” to “private area” progression that you can do relatively early on. You should have touched her on the hands, shoulders and upper back already, several times. At a minimum, you should be well into Phase 2 Curiosity. You want to see some signs of attraction from her (i.e. laughing, smiling, continuing the conversation, turning her body towards you, etc).
This is great when there’s a sudden change in the conversational topic. Which should be happening a lot, because your a guy who changes topics a lot. So there’s plenty of opportunities.
All you do is put your hand flat against the center of her upper back (just like you’ve been doing already, several times). Hold it there for 1 or 2 beats, and then slide it down to her lower back. Hold there for 1 or 2 beats. Then remove your hand.
Here’s an example:
You’re talking about whatever, she says basically anything, and you say:
“That’s awesome. Let’s get another round.”
Now let’s incorporate the hand motion:
Her: “He was totally cool about it too. He even gave us two tickets for free admission on our next visit.”
You: “That’s awesome (as you say that, you raise your hand and place it flat on her upper back, think: center of the back, just below the neck, between the shoulderblades).”
“(Then you turn slightly away from her towards the bar. As you turn, your hand, which has now been on her upper back for a beat or two, slides down her back and stops on her lower back. As this is happening you are saying): “Let’s get another round.”
(After you finish saying that, your hand remains on her lower back for a beat or two, and then you remove your hand.)
Now let’s generalize it.
Anytime you say “that’s cool” or “that’s awesome” or something similar, you can incorporate putting your hand flat on her upper back. Sometimes you can just take the hand off, sometimes you can slide it to the lower back.
You should practice placing the hand on the upper back until it becomes natural. You can practice it with anybody you know (even if you only know them as an acquaintance).
Just put your hand flat on their upper back for one beat as you say “that’s cool.” Then take it off. You’re just putting it into your muscle memory to place your hand there when you say “that’s cool.”
Don’t practice the slide to the lower back with anyone except women you’re interested in sexually. Remember that upper back is a “public/friends” area and lower back is a “private/sexual partner” area.
That’s why it’s fine to practice the upper back hand placement with anybody.
Also you should be seeing that by sliding your hand from the “friends area” to the “sexual partner” area, you are non-verbally telling her that your intention is to go from being “friends” to being “sexual partners.”
Both hands on her shoulders (shoulder squeezes) / Two arm squeeze (hug)
Remember that everything is two steps forward, one step back. Just because you touched her lower back, doesn’t mean that you should start neglecting “public areas.”
You should always go back to the shoulders and hands in between your progressive moves forward into “private areas.”
She wants to be touched, but not smothered. Make your intentions known, but also give her some room.
Shoulder squeezes generally happen from behind, but in some cases you can do the same squeeze from the front. A shoulder squeeze is the hand placement you would do if you were giving somebody a shoulder/neck massage. Think trapezius muscles between the neck and shoulders.
Hugs primarily involve the upper body, but can have a slight lower body component depending on each person’s positioning. Which is good, because some of your transition to “private areas” should start with your body instead of your hands.
Both the shoulder squeeze and hugs move you progressively forward because even though they are still “public area” touching, they make her a little more “vulnerable.”
For example, putting both your hands on her trapezius muscles from behind isn’t that far from putting both your hands on her neck, which is obviously a more vulnerable area.
So if you put your hands on her trapezius muscles it shows her that she can trust you to touch her in ways that make her vulnerable.
Hugs are similar. If you put your arms completely around her, not as friends, but as a potential sexual partner, it’s more vulnerable. She’s “surrounded” or “trapped” by you while in the hug.
These are both great after teasing. You say somethin teasing, then when she looks steamed, you grab both shoulders, or pull her in for a hug, then nudge her away.
The feeling of the shoulder grab or hug is like: awww….I’m just kidding with you…....don’t start to pouting lil girl. (then release the grab or hug).
“Accidently” Bump Into Her
This is a fantastic way to advance attraction. Don’t quote me on this physics analogy, but from a layman’s perspective, I think “attraction” means things bumping into each other.
You can do this almost anywhere. If you’re walking or moving around, it’s super simple (In a bar this could be moving location, shooting pool, darts, dancing, basically anything other than sitting. Out in the world this is anytime you’re doing any kind of walking or moving around).
Just bump into her. There is no particular set up. You can walk right into her. You can turn in a way that causes a bump. You can “get in her way” so that she bumps into you.
You can bump her right in the middle of her saying something.
If a chick is even mildly attracted to you, bumping always makes her laugh and spikes the attraction up.
The best thing to do after you bump her, is blame her for bumping into you . As always, say everything playfully, with a smirk, as a joke.
“Stop bumping into me.”
“Why do you keep bumping into me?”
“Quit it.”
If you can make this an ongoing joke all night, she’ll be all over you. Just keep bumping into her regularly (not so much that it becomes annoying - just sprinkle it in) and then blaming her for bumping into you.
She’ll laugh and hopefully start punching you in the arm. If she’s punching you in the arm or giving you a lite elbow to the chest, you’re doing things right.
Where to bump:
You can bump her with any part of your body. You can bump her on almost any part of her body. The only thing you want to avoid is bumping directly from the front. Because you don’t want to bump her face.
For example let’s say you’re going to just “walk into her”. If you walk into her directly from the front, her nose and face might bump into your chest. That’s uncomfortable. Nobody wants to be bumped in the face.
Other than that you can bump her anywhere. However, you should not bump her directly from behind (like you’re thrusting toward her ass) for the first few bumps. The attraction should be a greater before you start that.
So let’s summarize and put bumping into 3 buckets:
- Bump her directly in the front - never.
- Bump her directly from the back - perfectly acceptable, just make sure you’ve been touching and bumping in other ways first.
- Bump her on the sides or from any angle that isn’t directly in the front or back - you can do this all the time.
Let’s break it down even more just so there’s no confusion:
You can bump her with any part of your body, but do it as a progression, just like all touching.
Start by bumping her with your side, hips, chest, stomach.
As the attraction ramps up, you can start bumping her with your crotch. Generally the best place to bump her with your crotch is on her butt.
So these two go hand in hand, so to speak. Don’t start the bumping on her butt, and don’t start the bumping with your crotch. But you can progress to doing this as the attraction builds.
What if she’s sitting?
If you’re both sitting, then bumping doesn’t really work. However if she’s sitting and you’re standing (for example she’s at a bar stool and you're standing next to her), then just bump her and blame her for bumping you.
As with everything in the Make Women Chase You course, sprinkle everything in. Bumping is just another tool in your arsenal. If you are just bumping her constantly to the point where it becomes annoying, that’s obviously not good.
So be progressive. Start with one bump. See what happens. If you haven’t bumped her lately, do it. Again, if you can make it an ongoing joke where you bump her and then blame her. That’s gold.
If she starts bumping you, extra gold.
Nudging Her “Into” Things
This is one of my favorites. It always gets a laugh and spikes attraction. This works best when you’re walking with her. I put “into” in quotes because the goal is not to actually nudge her into something. It’s to nudge her “almost into” something.
Here’s how it works.
Let’s say you’re walking down the street next to each other. Coming up on her side is a newspaper stand, or a street sign, or any obstacle (but I would avoid trash cans because that’s gross).
When you see the obstacle is maybe 10 feet away, you start very subtly, walking into her. This is subtle. You’re just slightly nudging her over as you two keep walking.
Instead of walking straight ahead, you just change your angle into her, ever so slightly.
You’re essentially crowding her space so she moves over. But in a subtle way where she doesn’t even realize it.
Then you crowd her a little more, and she moves over a little more. It shouldn’t take long before she’s basically positioned to walk right into the obstacle.
Most of the time she won’t notice the obstacle until it’s practically in front of her. Once she notices it, she will stop short and there will be 1 or 2 beats while she realizes that you did that on purpose.
Then she’ll laugh and hopefully punch you in the shoulder.
Bumping Then Hugging
Instead of just bumping, bump her and then when she smiles and laughs, or looks steamed (doesn’t really matter), pull her in for a hug, then nudge her away.
Show Me Your Muscles
This is great for any conversation where a chick is talking about her being in shape. Or her being a gym rat. Or her being into fitness. Anything like that.
If she’s making a big deal about her fitness, you just say, skeptically:
“Alright, let’s see the guns.” Or:
“Well let’s see. I’m hearing a lot of talking but I’m not seeing any flexing.”
Or you can doubt her first:
“Whatever, I’m not seeing any muscle mass.” Or:
“Six pack? (then just start play laughing or shaking your head like you don’t believe her).”
And then get to the “let’s see part.”
“Ok, well let’s see what you’ve got. Time to put your money where your mouth is.”
In the initial stage of attraction (think Phase 2 - Curiosity) a girl in this situation will generally be willing to show you her arms and sometimes her stomach. (Stomach may vary depending on what she’s wearing).
If she flexes an arm, or shows you that washboard stomach. This is your invitation to touch. Don’t just sit there like an idiot looking at her. TOUCH. Make a big deal about it. Take your time.
Actually, if you don’t touch, she might just stop flexing or put her stomach away. So touch immediately and drag it out for as long as possible.
For arms. Start by pinching the bicep and tricep. Pinch to feel the definition, not to bruise her, obviously. Take your time. Feel all along the bicep and then do the tricep.
Then go to measuring the size of her arm. To to this, wrap your thumb and middle finger around the widest part of her upper arm. See if the tip of your middle finger and the tip of your thumb will connect.
If not, go to two hands, for example both middle fingers touching at the tips and both thumbs touching..
When you’re done, check out the muscle in her forearm. Also, check out her shoulder as well if it’s exposed (i.e. depending on what she’s wearing).
VERY IMPORTANT: You need to be TALKING the whole time when your doing this. If you’re not talking and your just ogling her goodies, then it’s just creepy, awkward and weird.
So, just to recap. If she shows you her muscles, that’s an invitation to touch. But only touch if you’re going to start talking right away. If you can’t handle talking while doing this, then don’t touch.
So, how to talk? I like to go into play-doctor mode. Like I’m giving her a physical exam. Which is essentially what you’re doing. Here’s all kinds of stuff you can say.
“Wow, look at the definition in this bicep.”
“How many reps does it take to get a muscle like this.”
“There must be a lot of whey protein powder and egg whites stored away in here.”
“Oh you don’t take whey protein, what kind do you usually drink?” (if you can get her talking while you’re giving the “exam” that’s great too -- but someone needs to be talking)
“This tricep is enormous. What’s the most you’ve ever pressed.”
“Wow these guns are ridiculous.”
“This is insane, you must make the other girls at the gym jealous.”
“Turn your arm this way. Flex like this. Let me see it like this (while you’re moving her arm around)”
“How many inches around is this?”
“How many chinups can you do?
“Here, squeeze my hand, let’s see how strong those forearm muscles are.”
Stick to positive / compliment type discussion here. If you say something like “pssht, there’s no muscle there,” she’ll probably just put her arms away, which isn’t what you want.
But you could say something like this right at the end as a push. So go through everything above and then at the end, jokingly: “pssht, there’s no muscle there.”
Then she’ll put her arm away (steamed), and maybe you can pull her in for a “makeup hug” and then change the subject.
For stomach. I like to do the 5-finger-tip-squeeze.
Put all 5 of your fingertips on the top of your head right now. Tips only, the palm of your hand should be off of your head. Now squeeze lightly back and forth. That’s the motion I’m talking about.
So if she lifts her blouse to show you that 6 pack. Go into play-doctor mode. Start with the 5-finger-tip-squeeze. You can say basically all the same stuff as above, just substitute abs for bicep and tricep.
You can then pinch each of the 6 abs (8 if she’s really hot) individually if she keeps holding her shirt up.
Then go to the obliques (the muscles on each side of her abs). Give those a pinch. Keep talking. Ask her questions about protein, diet, lifting, to get her talking.
Another thing I like to do. If she’s standing, turn her to the side, and put one of your hands on the small of her back and one hand on her stomach, and lightly press together. “Wow this core is super strong. I’m impressed. Do you sit on one of those oversized exercise balls at work?”
Now you’ve touched the small of her back and her stomach (without clothes on).
Golden.
Secret Hand Shakes and Palm Reading
These involve “public areas” but because they are a little goofy, you should wait to use them until after some attraction has been built up.
If you walk up to a woman and right off the bat are like: “let me show you a secret handshake, she’ll think you’re an idiot.”
But if she’s already attracted to you (think somewhere between the end of Phase 2 - Curiosity and the beginning of Phase 3 - Fascination (or anywhere in Phase 3)) then she will find stuff like this funny, different and interesting.
These are both great because they involve a lot of touching.
There is a full example of Palm Reading in Make Women Chase You, so make sure to check that out.
For secret handshakes, do this when she’s “earned something.” She’s done something where you’re like “ok….I think you earned it.”
These two are optional. You don’t have to use both or either one. But they are great tools in your arsenal. Now that you’ve read about them, you will find opportunities where using one will feel correct.
Tuck her hair behind her ear
When people think about this, they often imagine that tense moment right before you try to kiss a girl.
You see stuff like this in movies. The guy puts his first two fingers up near that lock of hair that just fell into her face.
Then he slowly brushes it toward the back of her head (away from her face) and tucks it nicely behind her ear. She bites her lip all nervous.
There’s a tense moment with dramatic music, and then they both lean slowly in for a kiss.
You can definitely do something just like this later on, but let’s not limit this move to only this situation.
You can do this move without all the drama and without a kiss.
For example, let’s say you bump her and a lock of hair falls into her face.
When you pull her in for the “i'm just messing with you lil girl hug,” give the two arm hug, then release one arm, still holding her with the other. Use the released hand to brush the hair back behind her ear. Then release the second arm from around her.
Do it like you’re just helping her out. Like you’re grooming her because her hair is messed up. Try to do it WITHOUT any feelings of romance or seeming like you want to kiss her. Almost like you were her dad just moving hair out of her face.
If you do it this way, you touch the side of her face, ear and hair (all “private” areas) but you create no romantic tension (which is fine for the first time you’re touching these places).
What if you want the romantic tension and/or the kiss?
In that case you can certainly do the movie example above. The point is not to limit this move to only that scenario. If it’s too soon for a kiss, just do the non-romantic version.
You still get the touch in which is key.
Both hands on her hips
This can be from behind. For example, you’re both standing, she’s in front of you. Or she’s sitting in a high chair (like a barstool) and you’re standing behind her. It can also work if you’re both sitting, in certain cases.
Similar to the upper back touch, you can start with a one beat grab of the hips.
For example, you come back from the restroom, she’s sitting at the bar, you come up behind her and say “I’m back.” (and then just grab both hips for a one beat squeeze, then let go and move next to her at the bar).
Make sure to say something before you do a hip squeeze from behind. If you don’t say anything and just grab her, it could be startling, or she might think it’s someone else. So at a minimum, start talking before you touch her from behind so she knows you’re there.
From then on, you can start touching her hips for longer beats.
Touching both hips right before a tease is also great. You grab both hips, you lean in close, almost whispering in her ear: “Why are you so short?”
Watchout for an elbow to the ribs on that one. If you get one, you’re welcome.
Touch the top of her leg
This usually happens when she’s sitting. Imagine her sitting at the bar, one silky leg crossed over the other. The conversation is going well. She’s been laughing. The attraction is building. You’ve made some emotional connections with her. You’ve shared stories.
You want to be in Phase 3 - Fascination before you start touching her legs.
The first touch can be as simple as a “tap.”
You say:
“You know what?” (And just tap the top of her thigh with the palm-side of your hand, like you just thought of something really cool.
Your hand should just tap and pull back. Now you’ve touched the top of her leg, but you did it without forcing the romantic intentions that would come with placing your hand on her leg and leaving it there for any period of time).
The beauty of that is once you touch somewhere, you can touch again.
The next time:
(There’s a pause in conversation, you tap your hand onto the top of her leg and leave it there for 1 beat): “How about another drink?” (remove hand).
Try to touch her legs at least 3 times before moving on. With each touch being longer than the last. And remember to mix in “public area” touches or any of the “earlier” touches. So it would be: 1 beat tap to the leg; earlier touch; 2 beat tap to the leg; earlier touch; 3 beat tap to the leg; etc.
It doesn’t have to work out perfectly as described above, just remember the concept of two steps forward, one step back. Take your time. Gauge her reaction. If she seems like touching the leg is coming on too fast, just back up. Don’t be afraid to go back to public area touching for a bit. Don’t smother her.
Touch the Side of Her Ass
This is just a progression from touching her hips. After you’ve touched her hips a few times, move your hands slightly downward each time. Before long, you will be touching the sides of her ass.
I recommend that she is comfortable with leg touching before progressing here. In addition, she should be touching you at this point (at least a little). If she hasn’t touched you at all at this point, I’d stop at legs and keep working from “public area” to legs and back and forth until she starts touching you a little bit.
Keep in mind that “generally” (and I say generally because some women are quite forward with touching) the guy will touch the girl a little more than the girl will touch the guy, at this point in the attraction building. Like she may limit herself to your hands, arms, shoulders and back. She probably won’t touch your legs. The guys hands tend to go further than the girls hands, in general. But if she hasn’t touched you at all, then you need to slow down and back up before moving to the ass.
Touching Her Ass Cheeks
This is the final touch in a public venue. After this, things need to move to the bedroom or away from other people.
An easy way to do the first touch on the ass is with a lite, playful spank. You could also do the your-crotch-to-her-butt-bump at this point as well.
You should be feeling a lot of attraction from her at this point. You should be in Phase 4 - Captivation. There should be intense, passionate eye contact. You two should have been touching each other a lot already.
Then when she does something sassy, just give her a single lite spank on one cheek. Tap and remove your hand, just like how you started with the legs.
The next time you can spank and leave your hand there for beat without squeezing the cheek.
After that, one beat and a slight squeeze.
After that, the invitation is open for you to periodically grab her ass. Do it subtly so it’s just something for you and her to know about. You don’t need to show the whole room that you’re feeling up on her ass.
If you’re at this point in touching, then most likely you will be sleeping with this girl in the near future.
Show Me Your Muscles Revisited
Here’s an alternative to the spank if you did anything with the Show Me Your Muscles routine earlier.
If you saw her arm, shoulder and/or stomach muscles earlier, the fitness topic should come up again.
Why will it come back up?
Because you’re a guy who changes topics a lot and you’re going to make it come back up. That’s why.
So now steer the conversation to her butt. Here legs and butt are probably the parts of her body she’s most proud of anyway from a fitness perspective.
When you feel like the attraction is deeper. You can say something like:
“So I know your arms are fit and all, but how bout the donk? Got any muscle in there?”
If the attraction is good (like you’re deep into Phase 3 or entering Phase 4) she might look at you slyly for a second, and then stick her butt out toward you.
If she does that, it’s an invitation to touch. Give a lite spank, followed by two short squeezes. Then release. Just the play-doctor checking out the goods. You don’t need to spend nearly the amount of time you spent with her arms and stomach.
Now that you’ve touched the butt, there will be lots more to come.
Note that sticking out her butt doesn’t mean she’s going to bend over. It will be slight. But it will be distinct. She will turn and poke it toward you ever so slightly. She will most likely be looking over her shoulder at you. That intentional little poke toward you is all you need to see. Be a man and slap her on the ass.
If she doesn’t stick her butt toward you and she plays it off like “wouldn’t you like to know?” That’s fine. The attraction may not be high enough yet. But you’ve planted the seed that you touching her ass is on your agenda.
She’ll remember that and will act on it later if the attraction builds to that point.
Hair
Generally you should stay away from hair at the beginning (except for that lock of hair behind the ear thing).
There’s two reasons. First, some girls don’t like people touching their hair. Second, there’s fine line between touching her hair like a friend and touching like a man. There’s also a fine line between touching like a man, and hurting her. Let’s break it down.
If a girl is ok with having her hair touched, what you definitely don’t want to do is “pet” it. Petting it would be like stroking it or twirling it. This is something that her girlfriends would do and you don’t want to be seen as a friend.
Grabbing her hair like a man means “pulling” her hair. Lots of women love this. It’s can be a very sexually arousing move that feels very dominant to her.
The problem is that the line between “sexual pain” and “actually hurting her” can be quite small. It’s also hard to know how much a woman likes that (if at all) at the beginning.
So generally stay away from hair.
However, if you feel the attraction is there and you two are touching a lot already, you can test it out like this.
Let’s say you’re in each other’s arms (picture a dance floor with a slower song playing right now) you slide your hand up her back, and up the back of her head, so now your fingers are entwined with hair and your palm is on the back of her skull.
At that moment, make a loose fist. Just enough fist so her hair starts to tug, just a little, between her fingers. See what her reaction is. She will indicate to you quickly whether she likes that kind of stuff, or not.
If she doesn’t like it, she will probably just say she doesn’t like her hair pulled. So then you just stop. Your mild tug won’t have hurt her, and you can just move on.
If she does like it, she will probably give you some kind of non-verbal sexual response. Like her eyes might close. Or they might roll up slightly (like rolling into the back of her head). Her face will have a look of pleasure tinted with pain.
If she’s into it, then just be SLIGHTLY more progressive with how tight your fist is in the future. Figure out what she likes.
Just to reiterate, be careful with the grip. Obviously if you make a vice-grip fist, you could really hurt her, and probably piss her off to the point where she would leave.
So go slow. Also, all you’re doing is opening and closing your fist, you’re not jerking her head anywhere. Even with a lite grip, you can easily jerk her head in a way that hurts, which would be bad, so don’t do that.
Where Not to Touch
In general you don’t want to touch her face, her boobs or her kitty kat.
Face - with the exception of the brief touch you might make when moving that lock of hair behind her ear, keep your hands off of her face. Nobody likes people touching their face.
Boobs - If you touch her boobs with your body (like hugging), that’s’ fine. Just don’t touch her boobs with your hands.
Kitty Kat - Keep your hands away from the honeypot while you’re in public (you can start to violate this rule AFTER you sleep with the girl for the first time. But for now, hands off.)
Arm Punching and Elbowing
You DON’T arm punch and elbow women. These are reserved for women to do to you. And you should watch for them. The more she is “hitting you,” the better. Remember that every time she hits you (because you’re being a smart ass or teasing her, usually) she’s touching you.