Contents

1. Cover
2. Title Page
3. Copyright
4. Dedication
6. 
   Wow!
7. 
   September 1, 1939
8. Your Least Favourite Auden Poem?
9. Just a Title
10. 
    1
11. I ≠ A
12. The Modern Poet
13. Not Standing
14. A Not Insignificant Americanism
15. A Rolling Tomato Gathers No Mayonnaise
16. Clever-Clever
17. Various Cosmic Thingummys
18. Offensive Smells
19. 
    2
20. A Little Spank-Spank
21. Strangeways
22. Is Berlin Very Wicked?
23. Do Not Tell Other Writers to F*** Off
24. 
    3
25. The Latin for the Judgin’
26. 
    4
27. Aerodynamics
28. Get Rid of the (Expletive) Braille
29. Tower of Babel Time
30. 
    5
31. The Liquid Menu
32. Below Average
33. Soft Furnishings
34. 
    6
35. Talking Trash
36. You Can’t Say ‘Mad’ Nijinsky
37. 
    7
38. Homo Faber
39. 
    8
40. As Our Great Poet Auden Said
41. We Must Die Anyway
42. 
    9
43. Twinkling
44. A New Chapter in My Life
45. 
    Twenty-Five Years’ Worth of Reading
46. 
    Also by Ian Sansom
47. About the Author
48. About the Publisher