1. America and Canada: Continental BFFs
1.1 Timeline of U.S.-Canadian History
1.2 Grok the Vote: Campaign Reform for Idiots
1.3 Making English the Official Language for Native English Speakers
1.4 Combining Our Cities: Welcome to Van Francisco, Dirty Hippie Capital of the World!
1.5 Understanding Hockey, from the Country That Gave You Football and Basketball
1.6 The Cameron Plan: America in 3D
1.7 How to Say You’re Sorry without Looking like a Total Pussy
2. It’s a Small World (Unless You’re Liechtenstein)
2.1 American Exceptionalism, or How to Make Other Countries Feel Bad about Their Bodies
2.2 Killing with Kindness, Torturing with Tenderness
2.3 Weaponizing Politeness: Fight like a Canadian!
2.5 Un-American Idol: How Reality Shows Can Stop Illegal Immigration
2.6 A Simple Solution for Integrating Our Indigenous Peoples
2.7 The Metric System: Exactly Ten Times More Awesome Than Imperial Units
3. The Irony of Being Ironic in a Post-Ironic Age
3.1 The Elitist Scourge: How to Hate People Who Are Better Than You
3.2 Citizens Divided: People Are Now Corporations
3.3 Thoughts on Relieving America’s Sexual Tension
3.4 The Question of: a) Education
3.5 Health Care: More Than Just a Dental Plan for Hockey Players
3.6 Helping Children Determine Their Value as Future Americans
3.7 Obesity: Big Thoughts on Big People
3.8 All We Are Saying Is Give Guns a Chance
3.9 Crime and Punishment, and then Crime Again
4. Treating Experts like Mammals
4.2 What to Do with “the Gays”
4.3 You Are NOT the Father! Abstinence-Only: Education and the Rise of Immaculate Conceptions
4.6 The Constitution, Annotated
4.7 Science vs. Religion (Spoiler: Science Wins in Overtime!)
4.8 Living in Fear: The War of the Words