Step 3:
Journey of the Mind
If the structures of the human mind remain unchanged, we will always
end up re-creating the same world, the same evils, the same dysfunction.
—eckhart tolle
In this Journey of the Mind we consider the structure of our thinking at different ages, how the body and mind get separated from each other and the intentional power of the mind to create change. You will then do the Enneagram exercises and move into the guided meditation.
Our Thinking Structure
The thinking structure of the mind leads to further construction of the separate sense of Self. The age when this development emerges is around eight through twelve years old. In this period, there is a continued focus on language as one of the important developmental functions in the school years. At this age, language is essential for encouraging your sense of constricted self. Thinking is the center of activity to open its full rational potential in school. The awesome power of speech, writing, communication is implicit in the formation of the constricted self’s roles, values, status, thoughts, experienced contents in the world, and growing perception of reality. The frequencies of this age mind state are the alpha 2 brain waves (7.8–13 Hz). These frequencies stimulate the way you think and are dominant in the brain’s growth at this period.
The structure of mental communication is developed further from thirty-eight to forty-two years old and sixty-eight to seventy-two years. You are able to express through language all that you see, hear, touch, and taste. Your speech, writing, conversation, and vocabulary allow you to connect to the world. It has enabled amazing advancements and achievements in all areas of human life. By this period, you have been fully conditioned by the patterns of language in which you participate. In the brain research of the past fifteen years, it is observed that where you put your attention is who you are. Attention gives language its environment, like water for a fish. Language focuses our attention to shut out a vast expanse of reality and narrow it down in scope. We only perceive reality where we place our attention.
The Mind-Body Divide
The key in building the constricted self at this stage is being enthralled with talking, figuring things out, and communicating to others. You are no longer aware of the sensations of your body or that you have a body or that you have emotions. Words become who you are and you separate more from the sense of being grounded and from your emotions and sensory awareness. James Joyce put this separation from ourselves in a stark image. One of his characters in his novel Dubliners, Mr. Duffy, he described as, “He lived a short distance from his body.” 58
As you grow older, increasing your focus on thinking creates a deeper degree of separation within you. You become even more contracted and unable to experience expansiveness. At this stage, you have forgotten who you are. You have not even realized this loss of the deep integrity of connection between mind and body. The loss is of the unified functioning of mind and body, which can naturally draw your attention to your feelings and grounding. Thus you are cut off from the source of your core energy.
As the mind and body are separated, a deeper sense of self-image is created. This individuation must be developed for survival and for you to become a member of our technological society. You may not be aware of your increased tension and your scattered mind, or of the loss of the immediate sensate experience of your life. You are in your head and miss the smell of the rose, the incredible sunsets, the feel of petting a cat, or the inner building tension and emotions as you respond to life unnoticed. The psychological armoring is so strong that you can no longer be authentic.
The result is that the mind’s separation from the body births the “doer” into the world. Now there is an even deeper belief that this constricted self “I” is doing everything in the world on its own. There is an additional notion that you need to defend and protect yourself to uphold your self-image. It is through this motivational drive that you identify once again with being someone who is not real or authentic. You identify with creating a self that has a purpose, which gives you a sense of power. Power can be used to control the world and others for your own claim to fame. On the other hand, the strength of your will and power may appear to be far more effective through taking action for the good in the world. But even this so-called positive good is only another creator of a false self.
The Power of the Mind
The alpha 2 brain-wave frequency allows you the thinking capability to produce changes in the world and in your life. The mind utilizes an intention or a plan of some kind of change. This energy frequency directs your mind to an intention. The intention is identified in order to achieve, control, or do something in the world. Once you have felt the desire of what you want and identified your intention or plan of action, all that is needed now is your willpower, your determination, and your steadfastness to make it happen. Have you ever felt a passion or a deep feeling for something? Maybe it is to help the homeless or write a book or save the whales. Your passion is an expression of a yearning for something beyond your perceived intention. You hope that this passionate yearning may give your life meaning. The process gives an illusionary sense that you have the power and you make change happen. The doer is now in power. Whether your intention has a positive effect or negative effect in the world depends on what that intention is.
When the passion and your fire are connected to the power of the constricted self, change comes from a different driving force. The fire driving force may be guilt or self-condemnation, which is the clue that the constricted self is in charge. What underlies the constricted self is “I have done something wrong.” When you are driven by this force, it stimulates an illusion of unconscious behaviors and body sensations. The underlying desire is then driven by anger, jealousy, or competition or takes the form of helplessness, disempowerment, dependence, and control over others. The constricted self as a doer is now unconfident, blaming, and not good enough. When this doer is in charge, the tendency is to retreat and isolate yourself to protect from confrontation. The opposite may evolve in overcompensation in achievements, asserting power, or constantly questioning “How am I doing?” Another guilt approach is masked by the drive for accomplishments, financial gain, power, or recognition. Guilt intensely focuses on receiving acknowledgments that you should deserve.
Once attention is focused on the mind, the imagination can dig deeper into a lower frequency of alpha 2 brain waves, which increases despair, depression, and fear. The mind enfolds upon itself into a doing self with personal shielding: “I am a victim.” You may notice that this constricted character continues in its competitive, arrogant, ambitious, hyperactive, stubborn, and driven self.
With too much drive, there is a pressure to discharge through angry responses. When anger arises, you will feel unloved. It is the depth of wanting to connect to others, to have something, wanting something to happen, wanting to be different, wanting to be seen, and wanting to be recognized. The mind encapsulates itself into a personal self with personal armoring and you then act like a victim. What happens in many cases is that in order to unwind from these qualities of mind, you are attracted to drugs. These drugs may be illegal or prescriptive to help numb and discharge the sense of negativity. The underlying dream is to raise your energy and to feel loved.
Journey of the Mind Exercises
The Journey of the Mind brings more separation from the expanded self. With the addition of language and the mind being in control, you have moved your attention from your body to your head. To live in your head robs you of a vital, alive self. Many people who live active lives often comment that they feel “dead inside.” What is missing is balance with the body, sensations, emotions, and mind in the moment. When the mind is the driver of the doer, there is an intense need to feel recognized, to be in power, and to be loved for the power and accomplishments. This craving overpowers the practical needs or emotions that allow life to flow. The goal of this strong desire is to be happy and to move out of the fear of survival and suffering, but instead it moves toward an excess of worldly pleasures. These come in all kinds of packages such as wealth, fame, sexual pleasure, food, and appearance.
The physical ramifications of being out of balance in this energy frequency are issues of digestion, liver, pancreas, spleen, stomach, gallbladder, kidneys, chronic fatigue, acidity, hypoglycemia, diabetes, and back pain.
Journey of the Mind Questions
Take a moment to ask yourself, before continuing to read, how the Journey of Mind affected your life during the ages eight to twelve, thirty-eight to forty-two, and sixty-eight to seventy-two.
• What age do you remember your mind running your life?
• How does the push of power affect your balance and flow?
• Are you aware of a focus on desire and sensory pleasures?
Exercise: Brain Frequency Patterns
Notice your energy patterns vibration especially at the developmental ages when there is an imbalance in the alpha 2 brain-wave frequency (7.8–13 Hz). In the following list of qualities and conditions, circle the ones you are currently experiencing. This will give you a sense of how active the constricted self is in your life.
Imbalanced Frequencies: Passivity, lack of energy, poor digestion, tendency to be cold, tendency to submission, blaming, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, weak will, poor self-discipline, use of stimulants, use of sedatives, dominating, controlling, competitive, arrogant, ambitious, hyperactive, stubborn, driven, and focused on goals.
The Enneagram exercises are to stimulate both your thinking and feelings about how your particular form of mental patterns developed throughout your life. Your reflection is in preparation for the meditations beginning on page 235.
Enneatype: Basic Desires
Check your Enneagram type in relation to your basic desire patterns. How do these patterns work in your life today?
Type One: To be good, to have integrity
Type Two: To feel love
Type Three: To feel valuable
Type Four: To be themselves
Type Five: To be capable and competent
Type Six: To be supported and guided
Type Seven: To be satisfied and complete
Type Eight: To protect themselves
Type Nine: To experience peace of mind and wholeness
Enneatype: Cognitive Patterns
Check your Enneagram type in relation to your basic cognitive pattern. How does your mental pattern work in your life today?
Type One: Identified with the moralizing self
Type Two: Value based on positive response from others
Type Three: Value based on “performance” external image
Type Four: Identify with their feeling and emotional states
Type Five: Think that they can understand by “witnessing”
Type Six: Look for guidance and security outside themselves
Type Seven: Anticipate the future, loss of immediacy
Type Eight: Feel that they are constantly working against something
Type Nine: Peace of mind by disengaging from instincts and reality
Enneatype: Doer Patterns
What kind of a doer are you in the world? How does that work for you?
Type One: Work hard, do everything perfectly
Type Two: Be generous, put others ahead of yourself
Type Three: Over succeed, over network, over work, keep climbing
Type Four: Be deep, dramatic, different, and experience life at its extremes
Type Five: Think smart, feel little, keep still, and think twice
Type Six: Be hyperalert, loyal, respectful of authority or challenge authority
Type Seven: Keep soaring, keep talking, keep planning, keep going, and be optimistic, cheerful, and entertaining
Type Eight: Stay on top, stay on the offensive, stay aggressive, take charge, full speed ahead
Type Nine: Stay calm, agreeable, never rock the boat, get rest, and let someone else row the boat
Journey of the Mind Meditations
Now you will take these exercises into meditation and ask some questions to help clarify your understanding of how your mind developed your constricted self. These meditations are a way you can explore this unique process of using your mental structure to create constriction in your life. The purpose of the questions before the guided meditations are to stimulate your memories of a particular age your mind was functioning in a certain way. Write your results in your notebook after the meditation.
The Journey of the Mind in the constricted self development is seen at ages eight to twelve, thirty-eight to forty-two, and sixty-eight to seventy-two. The patterns of this development relate to power, control, authority, and guilt.
Exercise: Meditation Ages Eight to Twelve
Again, as with other exercises you’ve done before, please either pre-record this meditation in order to listen to it, or have a partner or friend read and guide you through it. Where there is a (pause) indicated, give yourself time to experience the instructions at that point. (If you want to use the bonus video for this meditation go to Appendix D.)
Before beginning the guided meditation, I want you to focus on several questions in order to help you clarify your mental pattern at a deeper, and perhaps a more conscious, level. This reflection is in preparation for going deeper into the meditation. Write your results in your notebook after doing the meditations.
Questions on Ages Eight to Twelve
• Who did you blame at that time?
• Who held the power or authority in your family? Have you copied that pattern in your life?
• What changed in your life in relation to control?
• Were reading and studying important in your life?
• Were you shamed and who did it and what was it about?
• Did you stand your ground?
• What was so hard to digest about your family, school, and friends?
• What was your purpose in life?
Let’s begin the meditation:
• Take three deep breaths and begin to let yourself relax into a safe, quiet, comfortable place with your back straight but not rigid or lie on a bed or a mat.
• Imagine the color yellow at your solar plexus like a yellow flower.
• With your eyes closed, feel the color yellow all around you and notice the movement of your breath and then the sounds in your environment. (pause)
• Recall the depth of your last meditation. Let yourself relax into that remembered state. What does that state of relaxation feel like inside you?
• Remember your marker. It was either a symbol, an image, or a word. Use your marker to return to that deep state of relaxation. As you move deeper into your marker, feel the tensions of your body letting go. (pause)
• Now take three deep breaths.
• Allow thoughts, feelings, or outside disturbances to simply float through your mind, emotions, and body without holding on to them.
• With your marker in mind, move down deeper inside yourself as though you were falling like a leaf through the air to the ground. Let yourself drift down and down and down within your body. (pause)
• As you move into that deeper state within you, feel yourself in a comfortable, safe place deep within your body.
• Now move through your body to your belly, right to the center of your body below your belly button. This is your healing center. Let yourself drop deeply into the center of this healing circle. Feel yourself resting in the center and opening and sinking deep into this healing place. (pause)
• In this center of this healing circle is a bright wood fire burning. It is radiating a healing energy of soft yellow light from the fire.
• Let yourself relax deeply as you gaze into the fire, having no worries or concerns.
• Now as you let go to the entrancing and compelling movement of the fire imagine yourself going back in time to when you were between eight and twelve years old. (pause)
• I am going to ask you a series of questions about this period in your life. Try to respond to them with the first thought that comes to mind. Also, note any feelings that arise.
• Now take three deep breaths and slowly inhale and exhale. (pause)
• Who held the power or authority in your family?
• How has this family experience shaped your life? Do you exert power and authority in the same way?
• Did you feel shamed, disgraced, wronged, or humiliated in your family or by friends?
• If challenged by other kids did you stand your ground?
• Did you have eating problems? If so what was hard to digest in your family?
• Did you like school? Did you like to study, read, and get good grades?
• Did you have hobbies, sports, or some special purpose?
• Does relaxing in front of the fire bring up any other memories?
• As you feel the warmth of the fire, gently move back to the center of the healing circle and feel the fire begin to fade.
• Now allow yourself to come back to the healing circle right below your belly, having the feelings of peace, ease, and present awareness.
• Place your attention on the sensation of moving gently upward until you reach your chest.
• Notice your breath slowly moving in and out. Follow your breath for just a few moments.
• Let yourself integrate what you learned from your eight- to twelve-year-old time period. (pause)
• Notice your hands in your lap. Notice how heavy and relaxed they are. Begin to wiggle or stretch your fingers and hands and move your body.
• With a big inhale and exhale of breath, come back into the room.
• Please write in your journal what you learned and experienced.
Exercise: Meditation Ages Thirty-Eight to Forty-Two
Again, as with other exercises you’ve done before, please either pre-record this meditation in order to listen to it, or have a partner or friend read and guide you through it. Where there is a (pause) indicated, give yourself time to experience the instructions at that point. (If you want to use the bonus video for this meditation go to Appendix D.)
As before, in beginning the guided meditation I want you to focus on several questions in order to help you clarify your mental pattern at a more conscious level. Consider these questions in preparation for going deeper into the meditation. Write your results in your notebook after doing the meditations.
Questions on Ages Thirty-Eight to Forty-Two
• Are you focused on your own needs or issues? What are they?
• What happens when you are not in control of yourself or others?
• Are there things about which you are ashamed?
• When have you been in a victim position?
• How do you express your power? What stops it? How do you get your recognition needs met?
• What is your purpose at this age?
• What is your attitude toward authority in your life?
Let’s begin the meditation:
• Take three deep breaths and begin to let yourself relax into a safe, quite, comfortable place with your back straight but not rigid or lie on a bed or a mat. Be aware of the color yellow filling your solar plexus with energy.
• With eyes closed, imagine yellow light filling the room you are in and notice the movement of your breath and then the sounds in your environment. (pause)
• Recall the depth of your last meditation. Let yourself relax into that remembered state. What does that state of relaxation feel like inside you?
• Remember your marker. It was either a symbol, an image, or a word. Use your marker to return to that deep state of relaxation. As you move deeper into your marker, feel the tensions of your body letting go. (pause)
• Now take three deep breaths.
• Allow thoughts, feelings, or outside disturbances to simply float through your mind, emotions, and body without holding on to them.
• With your marker in mind, move down deeper inside yourself as though you were falling like a leaf through the air to the ground. Let yourself drift down and down and down within your body. (pause)
• As you move into that deeper state within you, feel yourself in a comfortable, safe place deep within your body.
• Now move through your body to your belly, right to the center of your body below your belly button. This is your healing center. Let yourself drop deeply into the center of this healing circle. Feel yourself resting in the center and opening and sinking deep into this healing place. (pause)
• In this center of this healing circle you sit and gaze out onto a beautiful meadow. This meadow is filled with yellow sunlight, a soft breeze moves the green grasses in slow waves rippling out to the horizon.
• Let yourself relax deeply as you scan the beauty and radiance of the meadow with the yellow light, having no worries or concerns.
• Now as you let go to the entrancing and compelling movement of the ripples of grass in the meadow, imagine yourself going back in time to when you were between thirty-eight and forty-two years old. (pause)
• I am going to ask you a series of questions about this period in your life. Try to respond to them with the first thought that comes to mind. Also, note any feelings that arise.
• Now take three deep breaths and slowly inhale and exhale. (pause)
• Remembering when you were between thirty-eight and forty-two years old, become aware of any mental struggles in your work, personal life, or relationships.
• Did you mentally dwell on things that you did or did not do or become?
• Did you ever think that you were a victim? What thoughts brought you to this conclusion?
• Did you have thoughts of controlling or dominating others?
• Remember a time when you made plans but they fell through. What were the flaws in your thinking?
• Did you get overwhelmed in the “thinking” work you had to do in your job?
• Did you like detail thinking at this stage of your life or were you overwhelmed by detail?
• Did you get lost in thoughts and drift into daydreaming or did you discipline yourself to stay on your mental tasks? (pause)
• As you feel the sun and the breeze on you and watch the ripples running across the grass, gently move back to the center of the healing circle and see the meadow slowly fade.
• Now allow yourself to come back to the healing circle right below your belly, having the feelings of peace, ease, and present awareness.
• Place your attention on the sensation of moving gently upward until you reach your chest.
• Notice your breath slowly moving in and out. Follow your breath for just a few moments. Let yourself integrate what you learned from your thirty-eight- and forty-two-year-old time periods. (pause)
• Notice your hands in your lap. Notice how heavy and relaxed they are. Begin to wiggle or stretch your fingers and hands and move your body.
• With a big inhale and exhale of breath come back into the room.
• Please write in your journal what you learned and experienced.
Exercise: Meditation Ages Sixty-Eight to Seventy-Two
Again, as with other exercises you’ve done before, please either pre-record this meditation in order to listen to it, or have a partner or friend read and guide you through it. Where there is a (pause) indicated, give yourself time to experience the instructions at that point. (If you want to use the bonus video for this meditation go to Appendix D.)
The following questions are to help you clarify your mental process at a deeper level. This reflection is in preparation for going deeper into the guided meditation. Write your results in your notebook after doing the meditations.
Questions on Ages Sixty-Eight to Seventy-Two
• Are you in your head most of the time?
• What is your role in your life?
• How do you rely on your inner or outer authority?
• What happens when you deny yourself things?
• How has language played a role in your life?
• Have you been acknowledged for what you have done in your life?
• Do you shame yourself or do others shame you?
• What is the purpose at this time in your life?
• Do you approve of the way you handle authority now?
Let’s begin the meditation:
• Take three deep breaths and begin to let yourself relax into a safe, quite comfortable place with your back straight but not rigid or lie on a bed or a mat. Be aware of the color yellow emerging from your solar plexus.
• Close your eyes and feel the yellow color shining like a gold ball resting now on your belly. Notice the movement of your breath and then the sounds in your environment. (pause)
• Recall the depth of your last meditation. Let yourself relax into that remembered state. What does that state of relaxation feel like inside you?
• Remember your marker. It was either a symbol, an image, or a word. Use your marker to return to that deep state of relaxation. As you move deeper into your marker, feel the tensions of your body letting go. (pause)
• Now take three deep breaths.
• Allow thoughts, feelings, or outside disturbances to simply float through your mind, emotions, and body without holding on to them.
• With your marker in mind, move down deeper inside yourself as though you were falling like a leaf through the air to the ground. Let yourself drift down and down and down within your body. (pause)
• As you move into that deeper state within you, feel yourself in a comfortable, safe place deep within your body.
• Now move through your body to your belly, right to the center of your body below your belly button. This is your healing center. Let yourself drop deeply into the center of this healing circle. Feel yourself resting in the center and opening and sinking deep into this healing place. (pause)
• In the center of this healing circle, you sit on a high bluff looking out over a vast forest. The view looks beyond the forest to a high range of mountains shining in the sunlight. A slight breeze is blowing and you see birds flying out over the forest.
• Let yourself relax deeply as you scan the beauty and radiance of the yellow sun bathing the forest and mountains in light, having no worries or concerns.
• Now as you let go to the entrancing and compelling movement of the breeze and the view of the forest and mountains, imagine yourself going back in time to when you were between sixty-eight and seventy-two years old. (pause)
• I am going to ask you a series of questions about this period in your life. Try to respond to them with the first thought that comes to mind. Note any feelings that arise as well.
• Now take three deep breaths and slowly inhale and exhale. (pause)
• What is it like to continually have thoughts coming and going in your mind?
• How has being in your head played a role in your life? What are its consequences? Has it contributed to your success in life?
• Have you tried to control your thoughts, or do you just let them come and go in you?
• Have you over the years focused on thinking what your purpose is in life?
• Through these years do you have negative or shameful thoughts?
• Do you try to control the negative, judgmental thoughts toward others? (pause)
• Does relaxing and sitting on the bluff looking out over the forest shining in the yellow sun bring up any other memories about these years?
• As you feel the gentle breeze and the sun shining on you, move back to the center of the healing circle and let the forest and mountains fade in your memories.
• Now allow yourself to come back to the healing circle right below your belly button, having the feelings of peace, ease, and present awareness.
• Place your attention on the sensation of moving gently upward until you reach your chest. Notice your breath slowly moving in and out. Follow your breath for just a few moments. Let yourself integrate what you learned from your sixty-eight- to seventy-two-year-old time periods. (pause)
• Notice your hands in your lap. Notice how heavy and relaxed they are. Begin to wiggle or stretch your fingers and hands and move your body.
• With a big inhale and exhale of breath come back into the room.
• Please write in your journal what you learned and experienced.
58. James Joyce, Dubliners (New York: Penguin Classics,1993), 57.