Note: The first phase (fussy period) of this leap into the perceptual world of "principles" is age-linked and predictable, and starts between 59 and 63 weeks. Most babies start the second phase (see box "Quality Time: An Unnatural Whim" on page 17) of this leap 64 weeks after full-term birth. The first perception of the world of principles sets in motion the development of a whole range of skills and activities. However, the age at which these skills and activities appear for the first time varies greatly and depends on your baby's preferences, experimentation and physical development. For example, the ability to perceive principles is a necessary precondition for "pretending to cook for her dolls," but this activity normally appears at anywhere from 64 weeks to many months later. Skills and activities are mentioned in this chapter at the earliest possible age they might appear so you can watch for and recognize them. (They may be rudimentary at first.) This way you can respond to and facilitate your baby's development.
After the previous leap, your little fellow began to understand what a “program” is. Your daily programs of eating, shopping, taking a stroll, playing, and washing the dishes seem normal to him at this stage. Sometimes he appears to be following your lead and other times he grabs the opportunity to show you what he can do. You also might have noticed that your little helper has a slightly different approach to household chores than that you have. He uses some string to vacuum. To mop, he uses a rag, wetting it in his mouth. And, he straightens up by using his magical powers to banish anything and everything in his way to that one special out-of-the-way spot: the bathroom, the trash or over the balcony. No more mess. Your little helper is still bound by certain strict routines, which tend to be a tad mechanical in nature. He is therefore, just a beginner in the complex world of programs. He is not yet able to adapt the program he is carrying out to different circumstances. It will require several years of experience before he becomes proficient in such matters.
We parents have the benefit of experience.You are able to adapt to change. You vary the order in which you do things. While grocery shopping, you opt for the short line at the butcher instead of joining a long line at the deli counter. Whether you are in a hurry or you want special ingredients for a recipe, you adapt. We also adapt our programs to those around us. If anyone asks your opinion, you measure your response in kind, given his or her status and age. You also adapt your mood or the direction you want your moods to go. You prepare a meal in different ways depending on whether you have time to relax and enjoy it or if you have to rush off to an important meeting. You anticipate everything happening that concerns you. You know what you want and how best to get it. You make sure that you achieve your goals. It is because of this that your programs appear to be so flexible and natural.
Your little angel is beginning to pick up on how he can better deal with certain situations as soon as he takes his next leap. He will land in the world of “principles.” Around 64 weeks – approaching 15 months – you will notice him step up to try new things. It is a leap that has previously revealed itself to the little fellow.
Around 61 weeks – 14 months – our little tyke begins to notice that “things are a changin.” A maze of new impressions is turning his reality on its head. Initially, it is quite a task for him to deal with the changes. First he will have to create some order in this new-found chaos. He turns back to familiar surroundings. He becomes clingy. He needs a “mommy refill.”
Is your baby quick to cry? Many mothers complain that they rarely hear their baby laugh any more. They label their toddler “more often earnest” or “more often sad.” The moments of sadness are unexpected, are usually short lived with no clear cause.
Do Remember
If your little one becomes clingy, watch for new skills or him attempting new things.
“This week he cried a lot. Why? I don’t know. All of a sudden he burst out in tears.”
Gregory’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
Your little one could also be more irritable, impatient, frustrated or angry; for instance if he even thinks that mommy is not standing by at his beck and call, or if mommy does not understand what he wants or says, or if mommy corrects him or tells him “NO!” This could even happen if his latest building project was to topple or if a chair refuses to move or if he runs into a table.
“If she does not receive my direct attention, she sprawls out on the ground bawling.”
Josie’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“She is more quickly irritated, angry and impatient than she was. If she wants to tell me something and I don’t fully understand what she wants, she starts to scream and fuss even louder.”
Eve’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“He was very whiny this week. His crying became louder and more insistent if he didn’t get his way or if he was made to wait. The same was the case if my hands were full and I was unable to pick him up.”
Kevin’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“He is really struggling. If he is unable to do something right the first time, he throws a tantrum.”
Gregory’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
She May Cling to Your Clothes
Most toddlers do whatever is necessary to be around mommy. But little kids become bigger. Occasionally, some toddlers are content if they can tempt mommy into a game of just briefly making eye contact and looking away. This is a considerable step towards independence. However, more often than not, the toddler is more like a small baby. She is only happy if sitting on a lap or being carried around. Sometimes when she is especially clingy, mother decides that transport by baby carrier is best – and the little clinger happily submits.
“He followed me constantly, dragging his toy. If I stood still or sat down, he would play at my feet or even under them. It began to wear on me.”
Kevin’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“She constantly wanted to climb on my lap, but that was inconvenient because I was ironing. I put her in the center of the room a few times with her toys, but no, she only had eyes for my lap. The next time she went for my lap, she caught the cord of the iron bringing it down on my foot. Because she was tangled in the cord, I was unable to get the iron off my foot right away, which made me shout in pain. She then clamped on to my leg and let out a cry. By the time I had finally freed myself, she was so upset that I had to carry her with me to the bathroom so that I could put my foot under some cold running water. Lesson one: no ironing with her around!”
Julia’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“He loves to get my attention from a short distance, just glancing at each other. He glows from our mutual relation.”
Luke’s mom 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“This week he clung to me, literally. He climbed up my back. Hung in my hair. Crawled up against me. He sat between my legs and clamped on so that I was unable to take a step. All the while, making a game of it, and making it difficult to become impatient. And, in the meantime, he had it his way.”
Matt’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“He crawls onto my lap more often, but doesn’t stay there. Even if he is walking around he likes to be picked up for a bit.”
Frankie’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
She May be Shyer with Strangers
Most children don’t stray from mother’s side when in the company of strangers. Some seem to try to climb back into mommy. They absolutely do not want to be picked up by another person. Their mother is the only one who may touch them, sometimes the only one who can talk to them. Even father may be too much. Mostly, they seem frightened. You think sometimes that they are getting shy.
“When we are visiting or we have guests, he stays right around me for a while before slowly venturing further. But as soon as it even looks like someone else wants to pick him up, he hurries to me to cling for a while.
Gregory’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“He is shy with strangers. If there is a group, he crawls and puts his head between my legs and stays there for a bit.”
Kevin’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“He cries if I leave him in a room with other people. If I go to the kitchen, so does he. Especially today, he never left my side, and this while his grandmother was in the room. He knows his grandmother well and sees her every day.”
Frankie’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“Even if her father wants her attention, she turns her head away. And when he puts her in her bath, she starts to scream. She only wants to be with me.”
Josie’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
She May Want Physical Contact to Be as Close as Possible
Often a small child does not want the distance between him and his mother to increase. If someone is going to go anywhere, then the toddler wants to be that one. Mommy must remain at the spot where she is and not move one bit.
“She hates when I leave. She doesn’t even want me getting up for a shower. If I get out of bed in the morning and she is left with her father, then she starts shrieking. I have to take her if I want to get out of bed. She never did that before.”
Laura’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“When I leave her at daycare and try to leave, she cries her eyes out. She only did that in the beginning though.”
Ashley’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“He gets angry when I drop him at daycare and he lets me know when I pick him up. He ignores me for a while. As if I don’t exist. However when he is done with ignoring me, he is really sweet and snuggles up by putting his head on my shoulder!”
Mark’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
She May Want to Be Entertained
Most toddlers don’t like to play alone. They want mommy to play along. They don’t want to feel alone and will follow mommy if she walks away. She is really saying: “If you don’t feel like playing with me, then I’ll just tag along with you.” And because mommy’s tasks are usually domestic, household tasks are very popular, although not for every child. Now and then some clever little one thinks up a new strategy with a playful dodge or antic to lure mother to play. Such an enterprise is difficult to resist. Even though mother may be held up with her work, she is willing to overlook it. Her toddler is already getting big.
“When it is least convenient, he wants us to listen to a child’s CD. I have to snuggle up to him, grin and bear it. Even peeking in a magazine is out of the question.”
Robin’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“She hardly plays anymore, she follows me around constantly. Just wants to see what I’m doing around the house and put her nose in the middle of it.”
Jenny’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“He almost never wanted to play by himself. The whole day long it was horse riding and mommy was the horse. With cute little ploys he kept me occupied, all the while thinking that I wasn’t on to his little game.”
Matt’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
She May Be Jealous
Sometimes toddlers want extra attention from mother when she is in the company of others – especially if the others are children. It makes them insecure. They want mommy for themselves, they must be the center of mother’s attention.
“He particularly wants my attention when I’m around others. Especially if the others are children. Then he gets jealous. He does listen though if I tell him that it is time to go and play by himself, but he stays around me.”
Thomas’ mom, 61st week, or 14 months
“Sometimes he gets jealous if another child is on my lap. I never saw him do this before.”
Taylor’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
She May Be Moody
Some mothers notice that their little one’s mood can change completely very quickly. One moment the little chameleon is grumpy, the next she is all smiles. One minute she is very cuddly, the next so angry that she sweeps her cup clean off the table, then she can become sad with gushing tears, and so on. You could say that your toddler is practicing for puberty. Little ones at this age are capable of many forms of behavior to express their feelings. And a child that is at odds with himself tries them all.
“She went back and forth from sulky to cheerful, clingy to independent, earnest to silly, unruly to compliant. And all these different moods took turns as if everything was completely normal. It was quite a chore.”
Juliette’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“One moment he is into mischief, the next he’s an example of obedience. One moment he is hitting me, the next he is kissing me. One moment he insists on doing everything himself and the next he’s pitiful and needs my help.”
Mark’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
She May Sleep Poorly
Many little ones sleep less well. They don’t want to go to bed and cry when it’s time, even during the day. Sometimes mothers say their child’s entire sleeping pattern seems to change. They suspect that their child is on the verge of moving from two naps a day to one. Although the children do fall asleep, many mothers are not at peace. The poor sleepers cry in their sleep, or they regularly awaken into helplessness. They are clearly afraid of something. Sometimes they fall back asleep if comforted. But some little ones only want to continue sleeping if mom stays with them or if they can occupy the precious spot between mom and dad in the big bed.
“Because she doesn’t want to take daytime naps anymore, I put her with me during the day in my bed, thinking perhaps that would help. Nope. We ended up getting out of bed again. Result: She and I were dead tired! I think she is bordering on moving from 2 naps to one.”
Josie’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“If she wakes up during the night, she clamps herself onto me. As if she were afraid.”
Jenny’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“Sleeping was hopeless. He slept a lot, but he was tossing and turning. I kept hearing his cries. It didn’t seem like he was getting his rest.”
Mark’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“She gets very busy, bothersome and tries to bite when bedtime comes. It seems like she doesn’t want to sleep by herself. It takes some doing. After crying awhile, she does finally fall asleep, but after that I’m mentally drained. Last night, she slept in between us. She spreads out with an arm and a leg on papa and an arm and a leg on mommy.”
Emily’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“It seems like he requires less sleep. He goes to bed later. He’s also awake for half an hour every night. Then he wants to play.”
Gregory’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
Many toddlers have nightmares more often. Sometimes they wake up looking helpless, sometimes afraid or in a panic. And other times very frustrated, angry or hot-tempered.
“Twice this week he woke up, screeching, covered in sweat and completely in a panic. It took him half an hour to stop crying. He was practically inconsolable. This has never happened before. I also noticed that it took him a while before being at ease again.”
Gregory’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“At night he was often awake. He seemed helpless or really in a panic. One night he slept with me because he couldn’t shake his anxiety. Lying next to me relaxes him.”
Thomas’ mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“I saw that she was sound asleep, went downstairs and all of a sudden I hear a thump and loud screaming. I ran back upstairs and when I picked her up to console her, she was in the middle of a fit. She rolled on the ground, kicking and screaming. I tried to hold her close to me, but she resisted with everything she had. She simply had to get rid of her rage, which took a very long time.”
Julia’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
She May “Daydream”
Sometimes little ones sit staring off in the distance. It’s a time of self-reflection.
“I noticed that he was rather quiet. He sat there staring. He’d never done that before.”
Thomas’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“This week he was often noticeably in dreamland. He went and laid out on the floor and was just staring.”
Gregory’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
She May Lose Her Appetite
Not all toddlers have the best eating habits. Sometimes they simply skip a meal. Mothers find it difficult if their child does not eat well, and this gives the little one the attention he needs. Breastfeeding toddlers, however, do seem to want to feed more often. But as soon as they have sucked a little, they let go of the nipple and look around. Or they just hold the nipple in their mouth. After all they are where they want to be: with mom.
“He hasn’t eaten well this week. Especially dinner. He turned his head away at the first bite, regardless what I put in front of him.”
Frankie’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“He wakes up often during the night again and wants the breast. Is it habit or does he really need it? I wonder because he wants to feed so often. I also wonder if I’m not making him too reliant on me.”
Bob’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
She May Be More Babyish
It could seem like your toddler is a baby again. That’s not really the case. Regression during a clingy period means that progress is coming. And because children at this age are capable of so much more, a regression is more evident.
“She didn’t use the words she had learned! All of a sudden she called all animals ‘am.’”
Julia’s mom, 61st week, or 14 months
“He’s crawling more often again.”
Luke’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“She is ready for her playpen again, full of baby toys!”
Hannah’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“If we timed it right and asked if she needed to pee, she would generally go to her potty, but now she is back to solely using diapers. As if she has completely forgotten how.”
Jenny’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“I am back to giving her bottles like when she was a baby. She won’t even hold it herself.”
Emily’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
She May Act Unusually Sweet
Some mothers succumb to a generous hug, kiss or barrage of petting from their children. The little ones have certainly noticed that it is more difficult for mom to resist these displays of affection than the whining, clinging and being a nuisance. And this way they can “fill-up on mom” if need be.
“Now he climbs up behind me in the chair and proceeds on to my neck to give me a massive hug.”
Matt’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“Sometimes she is really affectionate. She comes and hugs with one arm around my neck, pressing her cheek into mine, strokes my face and kisses me. Even strokes and kisses the fur collar on my coat. She was never this affectionate before.”
Nina’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
She May Reach for a Cuddly Object More Often
Sometimes toddlers use blankets, stuffed animals and all things soft to snuggle. They especially do this if Mom is busy.
“He snuggles a lot with his stuffed animals.”
Matt’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
She May Be Mischievous
Many toddlers are naughty on purpose. Being naughty is the perfect way to draw attention. If something breaks, is dirty or dangerous, or if the house gets turned upside down, Mom will have to address this misbehavior. This is a covert way to get a “mommy refill.”
“She is not allowed to touch the stereo, VCR or other such devices. She knows that’s off limits! She gets one warning and then a swat on her fingers.”
Vera’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“I was really angry when he deliberately threw some things over our balcony. There’s no getting the things back because they landed in the water below. After that, if he did it again, I snatched him up and put him in his playpen explaining that such things are not allowed.”
Luke’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“She purposefully misbehaves. She lays her hands precisely where she knows that they are not allowed. She shakes the gate for the stairs (it is destroyed by now), pulled out the knitting needles from my knitting, just for starters. It is really getting on my nerves.”
Vera’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“He repeatedly has periods where he only does what is not allowed. I am left doing nothing but saying ’no’ and keeping an eye on him.”
Gregory’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
She May Have More Temper Tantrums
Many toddlers are more quickly irritable, angry and out of sorts than mothers are used to from them. These little ones roll kicking and screaming on the ground if they don’t get their way, if they can’t manage something first time, if they are not understood directly, or even without any clear reason at all.
“She had her first temper tantrum. It’s the newest thing. At first we thought that it was teething pain. She dropped to her knees and began screeching. It turned out to be a temper tantrum. No walk in the park!”
Josie’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“When his father put him back in bed at 5:30 a.m., he really threw a fit. He obviously had other plans than we did.”
Frankie’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“She wanted to eat without any help and we didn’t get it at first. She screamed, started kicking and practically broke her chair. I had no idea that she could be such a pain. Quite a trial!”
Nina’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“When we’re around other people, I can’t move away an inch or he’ll fall to the ground and throw a fit.”
Frankie’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“If she doesn’t get her way, she throws herself to the ground screeching and refuses to sit or stand up. Then I pick her up and draw her attention to something else.”
Julia’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
Between 59 and 63 weeks, your child may show signs that he is ready to make the next leap, into the world of principles.
OTHER CHANGES YOU NOTICE
You May Become Really Frustrated
Mothers clearly have less patience with clinging, whining and provocation from a child of this age. When he was still a little baby, such behavior made them worry. Now it makes them annoyed.
“She never had problems sleeping before. Now she does. For the last couple of nights it’s been nothing but crying. I am completely annoyed by it. The evenings are my time and now she is dominating them too. Hope this doesn’t become a habit.”
Maria’s mom, 69th week, or approaching 16 months
The moment mothers get annoyed, they will let it show. At this age a persistent toddler will hear it when his mother disapproves of his behavior. Using words he understands, she explains what she doesn’t like. Language starts to play a greater role. And a whining nuisance is quicker to land in his playpen or in his bed than when he was younger. Mother’s patience is shorter. Mothers think that their child is big enough to behave better. Additionally, they think that their toddlers should learn to be more considerate of them.
“I have arranged that she stay with a nanny. It really annoys me that she clamps on to me when we go somewhere. All the other children are running around and playing with toys. She rarely does that. Only after she’s stood aside and observed long enough does she begin to let go of my dress. I only hope that she can get over the clinging when she goes to the babysitter.”
Julia’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“When I am cooking, he comes and sits right at my feet. If it becomes too much and he doesn’t want to move out of the way when I ask, I put him in his playpen. Then my patience has run out.”
Frankie’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“He constantly wants to climb on my lap and, even better, go on the nipple – preferably from sun up til sun down. It really bothers me. First, I try to get him off me a bit by playfully distracting him. But if he continues coming and pulling on me, he has a good chance of winding up in bed. It just gets to be too much.”
Robin’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“Sometimes he wants to be picked up at the very moment I am busy with something and that bothers me. I try to explain in simple terms why I can’t pick him up. And explaining helps!”
Gregory’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“I can get rather perturbed when he pretends not to hear what I say. I grab him and turn him to face me, so that he has to look at me and listen when I say something.”
Taylor’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“If he persists in being naughty, doesn’t know what he wants, cries for any little thing and doesn’t listen to what I say, I assume that he is very tired and that it’s time to go to bed. I need to let off a bit of steam, because then my patience is at its end.”
Taylor’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
You May Argue
Your toddler is getting bigger. More and more often he and mom do not see eye-to-eye. If he is not allowed to interrupt, to cling or to be unruly, he rebels fiercely. Real quarrels are the result. Such an eruption is most likely at the end of the difficult period. That’s when both mother and child are quickest of temper.
“We just had a real fight! He kept grabbing the kittens and pushing them around the floor like toy cars. I had to stop him.”
Mark’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“He cries even louder if he doesn’t get his way instead of quitting his rant. If he doesn’t stop really quickly, I put him in his playpen as punishment. But he doesn’t like that at all. He throws an enormous temper tantrum. I let him go until he’s run out of steam, but it’s not pleasant.”
Luke’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“She’s driving us nuts. She cries a lot and requires constant attention from 7 in the morning until 10:30 at night. Sometimes, a good smack on the bottom is really necessary. Trying to talk to her is like talking to a brick wall; she won’t listen. Her naps are only an hour-and-a-half. We don’t have time for ourselves or each other any more because she practically runs our lives. Maybe we should pay less attention to her. I’d like to know if other children are this difficult at this age. We never hear other parents complaining. We’re out of ideas. At the moment we’re finding parenthood a rather thankless task.”
Jenny’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
If your baby seeks attention in such a willful way, it can make you desperate. That is quite normal. However, you should not react in desperation. Hurting your baby or child is never a good way to teach him the rules.
“If he doesn’t get his way, he gets furious and hits me. That has been bothering me for some time and now my patience had reached its end. I gave him a rap so that he could just feel it. Then I explained to him at length that the hitting must stop.”
Mark’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
Your child does what you do. If he cannot hit you, then you should not hit him. If you hit your child, then there’s not much sense in saying that he shouldn’t hit. Your words must match your actions. Hitting solves nothing and it is not good for your little one.
“She refuses to listen and that can really get tedious or dangerous. Sometimes it is necessary that she gets a rap. But a rap doesn’t always work. This week as things were already heated, I said, ‘Mommy doesn’t like you now, go away,’ and her reaction got to me. She started crying uncontrollably. She really was mortified, worse than a rap. I hope that I never say that again in desperation. I didn’t mean for it to be taken so literally.”
Jenny’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
Around 64 weeks—almost 15 months—you notice that much of the clinginess starts to disappear. Your toddler is a bit more enterprising again. Perhaps you already see that he is different, and acts differently. He is getting much more willful. He thinks differently. Handles his toys differently. His sense of humor has changed. You see these changes, because at this age your toddler’s ability to observe and implement “principles” is breaking through. Getting this ability is comparable with discovering a whole new world. Your toddler with his talents, preferences and temperament chooses where he wants to begin. Find out where he is going and help him with it. This new ability he has acquired sometimes “gives him a headache,” as a figure of speech.
“He doesn’t want to sit on my lap as much, he’s active again.”
Thomas’ mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
“All listlessness and bad moods have passed. She even was happy to go to daycare. The difficult period has passed.”
Josie’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
“Sometimes I worry. I have the feeling that he is busy inside. In a way he keeps more to himself. But at the same time he does like to be near me. Not to do anything together, but just to be near me.”
Luke’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
He plays longer by himself and is calmer, more focused, more solemn, enterprising, testing, observant, and independent in the sense that he does things himself. He is less interested in toys. His interests are more towards the domestic. Furthermore, he really likes being outside just wandering and exploring. He does need you to be around, though.
Now that your toddler takes her first steps into the world of “principles,” you notice that she completes various “programs” more supply and naturally. You get now what she is doing and what she wants. Principles will influence her thought process. She starts to get on top of things, just like a teacher has to be on top of things in order to be able to explain it. Your tyke is no longer “caught up” in a program, rather she can “create” or change and judge for herself what’s what. She starts to think about programs. And just as when executing programs she deliberates each move and decides if she will do it this way or that, in the world of principles your tyke starts thinking about thinking. She is busier upstairs. And she feels that.
“He’s feeling his way with his head. Literally. Several things he touches with his forehead: the ground, the table leg, a book, his plate and so forth. He calls to show me. I can’t follow him. Certain times I think he wants to say that you can bump into these things. Other times it seems to be the start of a new way of thinking, as if he feels that he can mentally comprehend the world.”
Luke’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
In the world of principles your little one will think ahead, contemplate, consider the consequences of her actions, make plans and evaluate them. She will come up with strategies: “Should I ask dad or grandma to get the candy?” “How can I delay subtly?” Naturally, your toddler is not very adept in devising plans, nor are they as complex as ours. As adults, it has taken us years to master this. By practice, every one of us has learned principles by executing programs and confronting several thousand different situations. Your little rookie can not fully comprehend the meaning of so many new things. As an “Alice in Wonderland,” she wanders the complicated world of principles. It begins to sink in that from morning ‘til night she will have to make choices. Yes, she notices that it is unavoidable: she must choose, choose and choose again. Perhaps you have noticed your little one endlessly hesitating over what she should do. Thinking is a full time job.
“He now realizes that the whole day through he has to make all kinds of choices. He chooses very consciously and takes his time. He hesitates endlessly if he should turn on the TV, or perhaps not. If he should throw something off the balcony, or better not. If he will sleep in the big bed or the little one, and if he will sit with his father or with me. And so on.”
Luke’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
In the world of principles your child not only has to choose what she will do, but while she is doing it she must continue making choices: “Should I wreck my tower, just leave it or build it higher?” And if she chooses the latter, she must choose how to do it: “Should I put a block on my tower next or this time a doll?” With everything she does, she will have to choose: “Should I go about it carefully, sloppily, recklessly, quickly, wildly, dangerously or carefully?” If mom thinks that it is bedtime, she will have to choose whether to go along quietly or if to try to delay. Again she must choose: “Which is the best strategy for keeping me out of bed the longest? Just scampering away as fast as I can? Pull a plant out of its pot? Or pull some other stunt?” And if she knows full well that something is not allowed, she must choose whether or not to just go for it or if to wait until the coast is clear. She contemplates, chooses, tests and makes mom desperate.
With all these choices, it dawns on your toddler that she, too, can manage, just like mom, dad and everyone else. She becomes possessive as well. She doesn’t readily share her toys, especially not with other children. She now counts as a person. She is queen of her own world. Her own will is on overtime. One moment she decides to place a full cup on the table carefully and the next she lets the cup fall down and spills the contents. One moment she tries to get a cookie off her mother with kisses and caresses. The next moment she opts for a less subtle approach. And mom has no idea that she is after a cookie! Your toddler is full of surprises. By using her whole arsenal and by studying your and others’ reactions, your tyke discovers that the various strategies she employs give different results. So, your toddler discovers when she can best be friendly, helpful, aggressive, assertive, careful or polite. And that’s not all. Your child thinks up some of the strategies herself, others she imitates: “Oh, that kid hit his mother, should I try that?” Your toddler wanders around in the world of principles and really needs mom and others in her learning process.
We adults already have years of experience in the world of principles. By trial and error we have become skilled in this world. We know for example what justice, kindness, humanity, helpfulness, ingenuity, moderation, thriftiness, trust, frugality, caution, cooperation, care, empowerment, assertiveness, patience and caring mean to us. We know what it means to be considerate of others, to be efficient, to cooperate, to be loving, respectful and we know how to put others at easy. Yet we don’t all interpret these principles in the same way. We know, for instance, that it is polite to shake hands when we introduce ourselves—that is, in our culture. However, in England, a handshake is not expected; there, a nod and a greeting is sufficient. And in Tanzania, both hands are expected; one hand is just a half-offering. We fulfill our principles according to our personality, family and the culture in which we have grown up.
In general, you could say that when pursuing a certain goal, a principle is a common strategy that we use without having to go through all the specific steps one-by-one. The previous examples are mainly moral principles, which deal with standards and values. But there are other types of principles that concern the way we do things. For example, there are the strategies you use when playing a board game. Another example is that when planning a weekend trip you plan for enough time to sleep. Yet another example is the principle that when writing an article, you must take into account your intended audience. Or the principle of keeping dual accounting, or the development of a musical “theme.” Then there are the laws of nature that dictate how things move, chemical equations describing how complex matter is built up by simple elements, or the geology that describes the movements of the earth’s crust. All these belong to what we call the world of principles.
Your toddler is naturally nowhere near being ready for such adult applications of principles, such as strategy in chess, laws of nature or grown-up standards or norms. Those are all very big words that we don’t usually associate with toddlers. But in her own rudimentary way, your tyke gets started in the world of principles. She has already devised strategies to be able to stay up longer! And some toddlers spend all day playing with toy cars, watching them descend an incline.
There can be stark differences with the way in which an adult sorts out a principle in practice. We constantly ready ourselves for the changing conditions that present themselves. Thus we are not always patient, careful or thrifty, and as caring, careful and respectful towards everyone in the same way. That wouldn’t be prudent. Sometimes for instance we find it less important to be open with someone, other times we find it more important to take into account another’s situation or age. Suppose your spouse and your toddler both give you a drawing of an ape and look at you full of expectation. You will most likely be more honest with your spouse. You might even tell him that he should stick to his day job. But you praise the little scribbler for her effort. Even if you can’t tell what it is, you say that this is the most charming ape you’ve ever seen. And as a show of appreciation, you put the ape up on the fridge. Without even thinking about it, you took the maker’s age into account. It would not have been beneficial if you had been forthcoming with your toddler. You might have permanently destroyed her will to draw.
At this age your toddler can not yet prepare herself for all the various conditions. She has yet to acquire the subtleness. She is still attached to the strategies that she first learned. This is because she has just gotten her first whiff of principles and she is only able to apply them in fixed ways. Only after she has made her next leap will you notice that your child begins to become more adaptable to her surroundings. She adapts her strategy. Just like your tyke was able to grasp the programs after making her leap into the world of principles, your toddler will, after the next leap, grasp that she can choose what she wants to be: honest, friendly, helpful, careful, patient, resourceful, efficient, just, caring or frugal. And that she can choose not to be any or all of those. She begins to understand that she can pay attention to grandpa, or that she doesn’t have to. That she can comfort a friend, or choose not to. Or, that she can treat the dog gently, or she can be rough. That she can be polite to the neighbor and cooperate with mom, or not...
“Nora snuck off! Grandma was cooking and she was playing sweetly with her doll and things. Slowly she expanded the bounds of her territory to the hall. But she was not planning on stopping there. She must have closed the hall door very quietly and with the same skill opened the front door. Grandma found it all too quiet in the hall. She looked around and the closed door made her fear the worst. She ran outside before knowing what to do. Two streets down she saw her. She was running like a rabbit behind her buggy with her baby doll into the wide world, far away from Grandma’s house. When she saw Grandma, she was very startled and began a loud protest: ‘Nora doesn’t like this! Nora doesn’t like this!’ She wanted to continue on wandering on her own. She couldn’t stand getting caught. From now on Grandma’s front door will be locked.”
Nora’s mom, 87th week, or 20 months
“She has been wanting to give the bathroom a good going over, but had yet to succeed. All of a sudden she found a solution for her cleaning urge. Suddenly, we heard the door to bathroom lock and this enormous cleaning sound emerged from the smallest room. There was scrubbing, flushing and waist bins rattling. A flush, and another and another. The splashing of water brought the whole family knocking and calling at the door. But however grandpa, grandma and I begged, the door remained locked with the continuing sound of cleaning from inside. Slowly some water seeped under the door. But the door stayed shut. Some twenty minutes later the door opened and out came the little cleaning lady. Soaking wet, proud and satisfied: ‘All done,’ she said and walked away. Everything was wet—the walls, the commode, the floor. The rolls of toilet paper lay in the toilet and sheets of toilet paper were stuck on the wall. And on the floor lay a pan, a brush and a towel. She had prepared well for the job.”
Angela’s mom, 92nd week, or 21 months
Brain Changes
From U.S. research on 408 identical twins it was concluded that around 14 months of age there was clear hereditary influence upon mental development. The development concerned both non-verbal skills as well as speech comprehension.
All toddlers have been given the ability to perceive and uphold principles. They need years in order to completely familiarize themselves with the wide range of new skills to play with, but as toddlers they take their first tender steps in the world of principles.
At this age for example your toddler chooses how he will go about things: carefully or recklessly. He chooses whether or not to pay heed to mother or to try to get his way with a fit of obstinacy. In short, he chooses which strategy he will use to reach the goal he set for himself. And like every other toddler, first he chooses that which best suits his talent, mobility, preferences and his particular circumstances. The very first choices become apparent when he is 64 weeks or almost 15 months old. Don’t compare your child with other toddlers. Each child is unique and will choose differently.
Take a good look at your toddler. Establish what his interests are. Use the list in My Diary on pages 332-333 to mark or highlight what your child selects. You may also have a look for yourself to see if there are some principles that you think your child could use or learn. Stop marking when your child begins with the next leap. That is usually when he is 71 weeks old, or 16½ months.
In the world of principles your toddler will discover that there are several ways to accomplish a goal. All the strategies he can utilize: “Should I do it carefully, recklessly, pushy or sweetly? Or should I try a prank?” Your tyke is becoming more resourceful. He owes this to the fact that he is quickly growing sharper in all areas. He begins walking more adeptly and is able to quickly make his way. He understands you better and can sometimes answer back. He practices playing with his emotions and not always around you. He can think ahead and knows that his person counts, too. He is increasingly better at eating and drinking, with cleaning up, building towers, putting things together, pushing and kicking other kids. His throwing aim has improved, as have other things. Everything comes more naturally to him in the coming weeks. And, he will continue to use new strategies to get to his objective. Of course, not every strategy your child thinks up achieves its desired effect. That requires time and practice. By trying, your toddler realizes that various strategies bring different results. Some are a smashing success, others the converse and most are just so-so.
Toddlers are like this
Anything new to him, your toddler likes the most. Therefore, always react especially to new skills and interests your toddler shows. In that way he learns more pleasantly, easier, quicker and more.
EXERCISING HER OWN WILL
COPYING AND IMITATING
PRACTICING STRATEGIES, EXPLORING THE LIMITS AND BECOMING RESOURCEFUL
IMPLEMENTING STRATEGIES AND TACTICS
OTHER CHANGES YOU NOTICE
Give your child the opportunity to experiment with all sorts of strategies, testing them out and reflecting on them. He will learn to behave in certain situations only by being resourceful, by gauging your reaction and through lots of practice.
Physical antics
When your toddler is trying to make his way in the world of principles, he will also want to know what his little body is capable of—in other words, how to use his body when he wants to be quick, slow, careful, funny or clever. Your little one will be experimenting with his body. He tests its capabilities. Which stunts can my body do? Can I fit between there? How do I climb the stairs? How do I go down? How do I go down the slide? Is that a good spot to lie between the toys and furniture? How strong am I? In short, your tyke is getting resourceful with his body. He sometimes appears reckless, which frightens mom.
“She goes upright up and down a step. She practices that the whole day through. Now I keep my eyes open for other objects of different heights so she can develop this skill.”
Hannah’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
“We put a mattress on the ground so that she can jump around on it. She loves galloping over it; she dives on the mattress and tries a somersault. She keeps testing how far she can go on the soft surface.”
Josie’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
“Thomas likes to stay on the couch the whole day. He climbs up the back rest using the wall to get up.”
Thomas’ mom, 66th week, or 15 months
“Every day he discovers new games. He has found a small tunnel behind his bed and chest of drawers and loves going back and forth behind them. He slides under the couch and studies how far he can go before he gets stuck. And he gets a kick sliding around the room on his knees instead of using his feet.”
Matt’s mom, 70th week, or 16 months
“She practices different ways of walking. Walking backwards, turning circles, fast walking, walking slowly. She is very studious about all these tricks.”
Eve’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“She lies in and on everything: in the doll’s bath, in the doll’s bed and on the cushions spread on the floor.”
Ashley’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“He laughs as he rolls himself in the curtains.”
Matt’s mom, 69th week, or approaching 16 months
“All of the sudden he is picking up chairs and benches.”
Kevin’s mom, 70th week, or 16 months
Getting acquainted with the outdoors
Many toddlers enjoy browsing around outside. They look like they’re just fumbling about, but in fact they are surveying the area. This is not saying that they don’t need mother: they do! Many question endlessly about everything: what is this and what is that called. And all children absorb what you say and what they see with the utmost concentration.
“She was startled when she walked through a puddle and got wet. She walked back to look at and investigate the puddle.”
Ashley’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“He finds it interesting to splash through the puddles. It really pleases him.”
Matt’s mom, 71st week, or 16 months and a week
“She stood eye-to-eye with a real live cow and was really at a loss. This was at the children’s zoo. She wasn’t ready to pet the animal yet. Even when she was in daddy’s arms. On the way home she was quiet as she mulled it over. That was the impression left on her by the living version of the cow from the book.”
Victoria’s mom, 61stweek, or 14 months
Getting skillful with things
Your child will become ever more resourceful with games and objects in the world of principles. He only eats properly if he can feed himself. Helping when it’s not wanted could result in everything ending up on the floor. He manages quite well building things or with his game of rings and puzzles. But beware! He tries to open the faucet, bottles and jars with twist-off lids on a regular basis. Your toddler is above all interested in testing which of the strategies works best when he needs it. He contemplates and experiments. What will happen if I drop the key chain behind the cabinet? What if I put it under the bed? And what will happen with the key chain if I let it slide down between the couch and the wall? And how will I make it reappear? And if I am unable to reach it, can I get to it with a pole? In short, he is learning how to hide something, put something away and recover it. Later, if he is skillful enough or thinks himself to be, he will use his tricks perhaps to amuse you with a prank. He could also hide a game if, for instance, he doesn’t want one of his friends to play with it. Do watch what your tyke is up to. Put dangerous items out of reach and keep an eye on your little explorer.
“We do puzzles together. Now he likes it and participates gladly. Not that it always goes well, but it’s a start.”
Kevin’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“Now his ring game is popular. He sees clearly if he puts the wrong ring onto the pole and says: ‘No.’ If he gets it right, then he is very proud, looks at me and expects applause.”
Harry’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“He stashes the ball and the balloon way behind something. The consequence is that he can no longer reach it.”
Luke’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
“She throws things on the floor when you are least expecting it. She studies the effect her throwing has on the object.”
Josie’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“He likes playing with his cars. This week he tried to see how well they stack up on top of each other.”
Robin’s mom, 72nd week, or 16½ months
“When she is vacuuming with her battery powered vacuum, she prefers to go for the most impossible spots. She does those spots as if her life depended on it: under the cabinet, between the chairs and table legs, in open cupboards. She skips the easy large open spaces.”
Victoria’s mom, 61stweek, or 14 months
“Again and again she pulled open my desk drawer, so I locked it. She then tried several ways to get it open. Squatted and pulled, sat and pulled, the standing pull. It completely frustrated her.”
Laura’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“She wanted candies that were on the fireplace mantel. I wouldn’t give them to her. She then went into pushy mode. When she wouldn’t stop, I put her in the hall to cool off. I had hoped that she would forget about the candy, but I was wrong. The minute she returned to the room, she dragged a chair from the dining room to the den. It took her 15 minutes. When the chair reached the fireplace, she asked her brother to lift up the chair. He realized that was a no go, so he laughed at her. She then gave up. Grandpa was visiting that evening and he was playing with her. He has a real sweet tooth and when he saw the candy, he just had to help himself. She got one, too. Later when I came back into the room, she walked victoriously towards me and showed me her spoils. She prevailed in the end.”
Victoria’s mom, 61stweek, or 14 months
“She was unable to get something out of the basket of magazines. When she finally managed after trying pulling and yanking five or six times, she laughed contentedly to herself. She’d never done that before.”
Emily’s mom, 68th week, or 15½ months
Becoming skillful with language
In the world of principles your toddler is continuously getting a better grasp of what the big people around him are saying to each other and to him. He is also getting better at understanding brief instructions and often carries them out with much enthusiasm. He feels like he counts for something. He also has fun pointing to parts of the body when you name them. The same goes for various things in the home, whether they are on the floor, the walls or ceiling. Many mothers think that their little one should be speaking more, given that they already know so much. But that is not the case. Only after the next leap does your toddler’s speech really take off. Your child is 21 months by then. In the world of principles most children are content with pronouncing single words, imitating animal sounds and reproducing all sorts of other noises.
Get your child to play a game of pointing and naming with you. You name something and let your child point to it, whether it is a toy, a body part or whatever. And try to see what your child thinks of a game of calling each other. It is best if your child starts by calling you. Call his name to get him to call your name. Call out his name again. For many children it gives them a sense of pride and importance that their egos count.
“He understands more and more. Unbelievable how quickly a child picks up new words. Yet he picks out only a few to use in his speech. He prefers words that begin with ‘b’ like his favorite things: ball and boy. He pronounces the words well and completely. It seems like he knows how to pronounce the words but he doesn’t have the coordination.”
Harry’s mom, 69th week, or approaching 16 months
“She points perkily to her foot, toe, eye, ear, nose, stomach, hand and hair. She also knows that you wash your hair with shampoo as well what bottle it’s in.”
Juliette’s mom, 69th week, or approaching 16 months
“She cried ‘daddy’ when her father was busy in the kitchen. The calling out automatically evolved into a language game. Taking turns, the two called out each other’s name: ‘Anna...,’ ‘Daddy...,’ ‘Anna...,’ ‘Daddy.’ Endless. Now it happens all the time if one of them goes out of the other’s sight.”
Anna’s mom, 70th week, or 16 months
Imitating others
In the world of principles your toddler will observe how adults or other children do things and what effect their actions have. “How does he do that so skillfully?” “That kid gets immediate attention from everyone if she bites grandma.” “Mom and dad regularly sit on the toilet. That must be a part of being ‘big.’” “He keeps kicking the leg of the lady from next door; she laughs so kicking must be funny.” Just for starters. He copies, imitates and tries out what he sees. The people around him are his role models. Also the behavior he sees in books and on TV gives him an inexhaustible source of ideas.
React to your tyke’s behavior. Let him know what you think of his behavior. Only in this way your toddler will learn what is right and wrong, and if he can do things better, quicker, more efficiently or nicer.
“Imitating is now his main occupation. He imitates every behavior he sees: someone stamps her feet, he stamps his feet; someone hits, he hits; someone falls, he falls; someone throws, he throws; someone bites, he bites.”
Thomas’ mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“Everything that I do, he wants to do too. Also what other kids do, he directly absorbs. Even if he sees something only once, he picks it straight up. He copies pleasant and not-so-pleasant behavior.”
Paul’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“She spends more time and is ever more attentive to books and TV. One child on TV stuck his tongue out at another and she copied him directly.”
Josie’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“She wants to brush her teeth by herself. She brushes up and down once and knocks the toothbrush on the edge of the sink – knock, knock, knock – slide the toothbrush again up and down in her mouth and knocks again – knock, knock, knock. And on she brushes. The funny thing is that she is imitating me. I knock the toothbrush on the edge of the sink, but only after I am completely finished and have rinsed my brush. I do it to shake the water off my brush.”
Victoria’s mom, 61st week, or 14 months
“Initially she would turn her vacuum on with her fingers. Then she saw that I use my foot to turn mine on. Since now she uses her foot to start hers, too.”
Victoria’s mom, 61st week, or 14 months
Replaying
In the world of principles your child replays the daily domestic business done indoors and out. He “cooks,” “shops,” “takes walks,” “says goodbye,” and “takes care of his doll children.” Naturally, he does all of this in his toddler way. Yet you start to recognize better what he is up to. Above all you see whether or not he does his best to be careful or helpful or if he is just being bossy, or if he’s sweetly sucking up. He may do that simply because he thinks that it is part of his role or because he is imitating the people around him.
Give your child the opportunity for him to settle into his role. Play with him once and a while. Your tyke then feels like he counts and that what he does is important. Many toddlers at this age are very keen for signs of appreciation. They really want to be understood.
“She ‘cooks’ for her doll. I lay out some actual food, because that’s what she wants. She puts everything in a small bowl, feeds her doll and then removes the food.”
Emily’s mom, 68th week, or 15½ months
“He bakes mud pies: scoops and scoops buckets full to dump them out again. He finds it all very interesting.”
Thomas’ mom, 66th week, or 15 months
“For the past few days he has been pouring water from one bucket into the other. This is keeping him busy. Now and again I get a request to fill up a bucket. Otherwise, he seems to have forgotten me and is consumed with his special brew.”
Steven’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“She strolled proudly upon the premises of the petting zoo behind her doll carriage. A goat blocked her way and she began an extensive discussion with the inattentive animal. Unfortunately incomprehensible. It sounded as if she was calling him to order.”
Hannah’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“He often plays ‘saying goodbye.’ He picks up a bag, walks to the door and says, ‘Bye Bye.’ He waves while doing so.”
Frankie’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“He often snuggles, kisses, comforts and caresses his dolls and bears. He also puts them to bed. Really loving.”
Luke’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
Sometimes a child imitates being father or mother. He studies how it is to be dad or mom. When a little girl wants to be mom, the real mom is actually in the way. They then seem to be competing. Naturally, the same happens if father is home and he wants to walk in dad’s shoes. And if a little boy is playing dad, he wants to know how mom reacts to this new dad.
Grasp what your child is doing. Give him the opportunity to play his role and play along. Your little one learns much from this. He feels the need to express himself in this way and to experience how it is to be mom or dad.
“He goes and spreads out on his father’s bed and looks around as if it is his. Also, just like his father, he goes and sits in his chair to read the paper. It is important to him to do as dad does. He wants my reaction to it all as well.”
Jim’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
“As soon as I take off my shoes, she’s in them. And then she follows up by taking a walk around in my shoes. She also regularly wants to sit in my chair. I have to vacate it for her. She starts pulling and yanking me and if I don’t concede, she throws a tantrum.”
Nina’s mom, 69th week, or approaching 16 months
Practicing with emotions
In the world of the principles, many toddlers experiment with their emotions. How does it feel if I am happy, sad, shy, angry, funny or emotional? And when I greet someone, what does my face do then? What does my body do? And how can I use those emotions if I want others to know how I feel? And how should I act if I want to have or do something badly?
“He walks around laughing very artificially like he is experimenting with how it feels to laugh. He does the same with crying.”
Bob’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“This time she greeted Grandpa very differently than she used to. Normally, she threw herself onto him putting her head on his neck and shoulder. When she had been still for a bit, the greeting had run its course and she began to play with him. But this time she stood up straight looking at him, only to launch herself onto him again. She repeated this a number of times. Then she gave him a cautious kiss and looked at him again. This, too, repeated itself a number of times. Never before had she greeted Grandpa in such a studious way. She was clearly experimenting with a greeting.”
Victoria’s mom, 61st week, or 14 months
“She wanted to read a certain book again for the eighth time and noticed that I had had enough of that. She sat there a bit with her head facing downward. Very quietly she practiced a pout. When she thought she had the right expression, she looked at me with a perfectly pouting lip and passed the book back to me.”
Josie’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“Suddenly he’s become shy. If I brag about him for instance, he shies away almost in shame. I’ve never seen that before. Yet he’s quick to notice if I talk about him.”
Luke’s mom, 68th week, or 15½ months
Thinking ahead has begun
In the world of principles your toddler can think ahead, contemplate and make plans. He now understands that mom can and does, too. You soon notice this by the reactions from your tyke. He realizes what the consequences are from something that mom does or wants him to do. And all of a sudden he comments on something that he used to find quite normal or even liked. Remember though that he is not unruly. His development has just made a leap. It is progress!
“Now she has a hard time when I leave for work. Up until recently, she ran to the front door to give me a send-off. Now she protests and holds me back. I think this is because she now understands the effects. Sending someone off can be fun, but when mom leaves, she is gone for at least a few hours. And that’s not so nice.”
Eve’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
“Thinking ahead has started! I brush her teeth after she has had a go. That always leads to terrible shouting matches. Up until recently when she heard ‘time to brush our teeth,’ she came running. Now she throws the toothbrush in the corner when I hand it to her, because she knows what follows after the fun of doing it herself.”
Laura’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
“Sometimes she walks away having forgotten her pacifier. She then says: ‘Oh, no,’ and turns around to go get it.”
Ashley’s mom, 69th week, or approaching 16 months
“Now he remembers where he has hidden or left behind his things, even from yesterday.”
Luke’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“When he realized that he would have to get on the bike for the second time today in the freezing weather, he got really cross. He clearly recalled how cold it was and repeating the outing in such severe weather conditions didn’t sit well with him.”
James’ mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
“This was the first time that I was able to see that she had a clear expectation. We had finger-painted and she had decorated the mirror. While she was bathing, I snuck off to clean the mirror. I shouldn’t have done that. When she got out of the bath, she walked right to the mirror looking for her decoration. Very sad.”
Josie’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
The Drama Class
Does your little one try getting her way by screeching, rolling, stamping and throwing things? Does she lose her temper for the slightest of reasons? For example if she doesn’t get direct attention, if she’s not allowed to do something, if her play is interrupted for dinner, if her building topples over, or just out of the blue without you detecting that anything is wrong? Why does a toddler put on such an act? Because mom and the toys aren’t reacting the way she thinks they should. She is frustrated and needs to express it. She does so using the most obvious strategies: getting as angry and making the biggest fuss possible. She has yet to discover and practice more successful, quicker, sweeter strategies in order to persuade you to do what she wants, or to build a better building. Your nagging toddler is only able to make her wishes known by acting like she does. Grasp your toddler’s frustration. Let her blow off some steam if she needs to. And help her to discover that there are other and better strategies that she can use when she wants to get something done, ways that are more receptive and more successful.
“She only wants to eat if she can feed herself. A saga when we didn’t get it! Everything flew through the air.”
Juliette’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“At the slightest little thing or if things don’t go as she has in mind, she throws herself on the floor. She lands on the back of her head with a thud, then lies on the ground stamping her feet and screaming.”
Julia’s mom, 65th week, or 14½ months
“He has an inordinate number of tantrums. He screams and throws things if he is corrected or if he ‘bites off more than he can chew’ or if his playtime is interrupted. If I distract him quickly, though, he doesn’t shed any tears. But if it takes too long then his temper turns into a sad bout of tears.”
Matt’s mom, 68th week, or 15½ months
“He’s thrown a number of temper tantrums this week. One was so bad that he went completely limp. If he doesn’t get his way, he gets really angry and then it’s a real battle. He is really in his own world! At the moment he doesn’t listen well at all.”
James’ mom, 67th week, 15 months and a week
“She throws an increasing number of temper tantrums. Yesterday, I got her out of bed and for no reason she threw a temper tantrum. This one lasted quite a long time, complete with rolling on the floor, banging her head, kicking and pushing me away, and screeching the whole time. Nothing I tried helped, not cuddling, not distracting or stern words. After a while, I went and sat perplexed on the couch, leaned back and watched while she rolled around on the floor. Then I went into the kitchen to carve an apple. She slowly calmed down, came to the kitchen and stood next to me.”
Julia’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
He wants his say
In the world of principles your little one discovers that he counts, too, just like all the big people. He begins to speak up for himself. But sometimes it goes too far: his will is law and he will not be swayed. This happens because it is becoming ever clearer to him that he can impose his will. He counts, too! He realizes that just like mom or dad, he can decide if, when or where he does something, how he will do it and when he will finish. On top of that, he wants to put in his “two cents worth” if mom wants to do something. He wants to help decide how it is done. And if he doesn’t get his way or if it doesn’t go according to plan, he becomes angry, disappointed or sad. Show him understanding. He still has to learn that what he wants to do will not always be possible right away, and that he also has to learn to consider the wishes of others, even though he wishes to stand up and assert himself.
The gender gap
Boys express their sense of impotence and displeasure more often than girls do. This is often because parents accept this type of manifestations more easily from boys than they do from girls, so girls learn to suppress these feelings of impotence and displeasure. Consequently they may also become more easily depressed.
“She emphatically wants to choose which breast she takes. She hesitates a bit, looking which breast to take, points to the winner and says ‘tha.’ Sometimes it looks as if she is deciding between two different flavors.”
Juliette’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“If he gets something into his head, it’s impossible to change his mind. It’s like talking to a brick wall. He just goes on to the next room and gets up to no good. The toys in his brother’s and sister’s drawers were this week’s target. He really had designs on the modeling clay. He knows full well what he is allowed, but he is less concerned with what I think of it all.”
Frankie’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“If he does not wish to listen, he shakes his head ‘no.’ These days, he walks around the whole day shaking his head, meanwhile just going about his business. Recently, when he was fishing through the garbage can, I got angry at him. A bit later, I saw him sulking in the corner crying.”
John’s mom, 70th week, or 16 months
“All of a sudden she’s developed her own will! We picked out a book in the children’s book store. It was really fun. When I decided that it was time to go, she had other ideas. First she screamed her head off in the store and then kept on screaming when we went outside. On the bike she kept standing up in her seat. I had to keep pushing her down in her chair. We almost got into a real fight. She didn’t want to leave the bookstore, and I had no say in the matter. I’m still amazed.”
Josie’s mom, 68th week, or 15½ months
“Three weeks ago we went shopping for Thomas. He needed a ‘big boy’s suit’ for a party. When we had chosen a suit, he came tip-toeing back with a pair of shoes – dainty, shiny, black patent leather. He tried to convince dad that he needed these shoes. Dad didn’t think that that was such a good idea and put the shoes back in the rack.
A week later, Thomas and I went back to the shoe store. He was getting his first pair of shoes. I went straight for the macho gear. It seemed a ‘shoe-in’ that my big boy would want the same, but he had other ideas. On the girls’ rack, he found a pair of shiny lace-up boots with feathers. He loved them and had to have them. With his prize in hand, he came wobbling up to me. I was astounded. There was my boyish Thomas with a pair of dainty patent leather boots in his slightly less dainty hands, beaming. They were exactly the princess boots that I loved so much as a child, it was bewildering that my little guy would fall for the same thing. I quickly recommended a series of boyish styles while sneaking the shiny boots back were they belonged. Thomas looked at the boy’s rack and quickly found something much to his liking. ‘Vroom, vroom,’ he cheered and grabbed a pair of thick-soled shoes with trucks sticking out the sides of the shoes. This made them shoes on wheels. As a true car-lover, they caught his eye. He wanted them and was very content; as was I. But when I was paying for the shoes on wheels, he nudged me. There he was trying to put something onto the sales counter. It was the boots.”
Thomas’ mom, 69th week, or approaching 16 months
“She is increasingly insistent. When she won’t cooperate, we get into a fight. While getting dressed, eating or if I’m in a hurry. Yesterday, it happened again. I lost my cool and ended up screaming and cursing at her.”
Julia’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
“Sometimes if she sees something in my hand, like a knife, she must have it. This can result in real altercations.”
Nina’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months
Aggression
Many mothers say that their sweet toddler sometimes turns into an aggressive tiger. This makes mothers uneasy. Yet it is an understandable change. In the world of principles, your child tries all types of behavior. Being aggressive is one of those. Your toddler studies how mom, other adults and children react if he hits, bites, pushes or kicks, or if he deliberately breaks something.
Show your child what you think of his behavior. This is the only way that he will learn that being aggressive isn’t sweet, interesting or funny. This way he learns that it is hurtful and that adults are not amused by aggressive or destructive behavior.
“She hit me in the face. I said ‘don’t do that’ and she did it again and started to laugh. It really bothered me. It’s tough laying down ground rules.”
Hannah’s mom, 70th week, or 16 months
“He bit a kid at daycare. For no apparent reason.”
Mark’s mom, 70th week, or 16 months
Research has shown that shortly after the first birthday mothers report the first physical aggression. At 17 months, 90 percent of the mothers report that their child is sometimes aggressive. Physical aggression peaks just before the second birthday Thereafter, this type of behavior recedes By the time children have reached school age, it will have mostly disappeared under normal circumstances.
Of course, some children are more prone to aggressive behavior than others. Yet, a child’s surroundings are also very important. They help determine how long a child remains aggressive. If children live with adults and children who are aggressive, then they can assume that “being aggressive” is normal social behavior. However, children can also live in an environment where aggression is not tolerated and where sweet and friendly behavior is rewarded. The result is that the child will not start hitting and kicking when he is frustrated, wants something or is corrected. He uses more acceptable ways of expressing himself
Mine and yours
In the world of principles your little one discovers that some toys in the house are his and only his. Just like big people, he is suddenly the proud owner of his own stuff. This is quite a discovery for a toddler. He also needs time to grasp what “mine and yours” means. While figuring this out, things aren’t easy for him. Some children find it disturbing if another child grabs something out of their hands for no reason without recognizing them as owner. Such lack of understanding starts them crying. Others become very wary and protect their territory as best they can. They come up with all sorts of strategies to prevent others from getting close to their things. They especially don’t trust children. Your toddler still has to learn to lend, share and play with others.
“She is developing a certain urge to own. When we have guests, she comes and proudly shows her possessions. If we go over to play at a friend’s house, she grabs her things and gives them to me for safe keeping. She hopes by doing so to prevent her friend from playing with them.”
Eve’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“Suddenly, he is very possessive of my breasts. If his father comes close, he tries to protect his territory. He clamps his mouth on to a nipple and covers the other with his hand so that dad can’t get to it.”
Thomas’ mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“Every time his little friend snatches one of his toys, he bursts out in tears.”
Robin’s mom, 68th week, or 15½ months
“He doesn’t let anyone take anything from him. You can’t even tempt him with a ‘good trade’ either. If he’s got a hold of it, he’s keeping it. He’s keen, though, to snatch things from others. There he has no scruples at all.”
Kevin’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
The joke strategy
In the world of principles, tricks and antics play an ever increasing role. Your toddler may start making his first jokes and he will get the biggest kick out of them himself. You might notice that he appreciates others’ jokes also. Many toddlers do. They enjoy gags, and if people or animals do something out of the ordinary, whether in real life or on TV, it makes them laugh. They find it exciting. Some tykes pull gags to try getting around the rules.
You may notice that “being funny” is used as a strategy to do something that would otherwise be frowned upon. Something pleasant and unexpected is ever more successful in getting on mom’s good side than a temper tantrum. Give your child the opportunity to be creative while making fun and pulling gags. Be very clear when he oversteps the bounds. He is unable to know the differences without you.
“He is constantly kidding around and has a great time doing it. He and his friends have a barrel of laughs acting silly. He really cracks up if he sees an animal do something silly or unexpected.”
Robin’s mom, 68th week, or 15½ months
“He loves just being silly. He giggles and if his sister joins in, he really bursts out laughing.”
James’ mom, 69th week, or approaching 16 months
“Cartoons really make him laugh , especially if something sudden or unexpected happens. He even loves the monsters in ‘Sesame Street.’ He really starts giggling when they talk and move around.”
Robin’s mom, 70th week, or 16 months
“He loves for me to chase after him saying, ‘I’m gonna get you.’ However, when I want to put on his jacket, he runs away squawking and making a game of it.”
James’ mom, 70th week, or 16 months
“She cracks up when she ignores me, is disobedient or is making fun of me, or when she hides something from me and it is hard for me to get at. She thinks she is very clever.”
Laura’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
“She loves playing pranks. When we get to the front door, she doesn’t wait for me to put the key in the lock, she just continues walking to the next door. She really thinks she’s funny.”
Ashley’s mom, 70th week, or 16 months
Negotiating and bargaining
It used to be that mom laid down the law. Children had to obey. Adults didn’t take kindly to back-talk. Everything changes. Nowadays it is generally assumed that children who have learned to negotiate grow up being better able to think for themselves. When your toddler lands in the world of principles, you could see a budding negotiator.
Does your toddler experiment with the words “yes” and “no?” They sometimes do so nodding or shaking their heads, occasionally pronouncing aloud “yes” or “no.” They also try nodding while saying no and shaking while saying yes, which is very funny to them. His stuffed animals have mandatory “yes” and “no” lessons. Other times he practices on his own while building something or wandering through the house just looking for something to get into, but mostly he practices his yes and no routine with his mother. She is also good for trying out his jokes on.
Give your child the opportunity to be inventive with the concepts of yes and no. This type of practice allows him to learn to use a yes or a no to his advantage. How does mom do it? He can find the best yes and no strategy for various situations. He discovers which strategy is best suited to meet his needs.
“He is able to answer all sorts of questions with just a yes or no. He sometimes makes a mistake. He says ‘yes’ when he means ‘no’ and if I act upon his answer, he smiles and quickly changes to a ‘no,’ in a tone of ‘not really.’”
Luke’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“She says ‘yes’ and ‘no’ with increasing authority, but she likes to try to trick me using yes and no.”
Juliette’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
“She tests the words yes and no on me continuously: Is her ‘yes’ a real yes and will her ‘no’ remain a no? Perhaps I can find a way to cheat? She tests me to see how far she can go.”
Nina’s mom, 70th week, or 16 months
“He knows what he wants and is getting better at answering with a definite ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ He also has different yes’s and no’s. Some indicate very clearly where his boundaries lay. When he reaches his limit, I know that he is dead set. His other yes’s and no’s lack finality. I know then that I can press him for a better deal.”
Paul’s mom, 71st week, or 16 months and a week
Asking for help
Your toddler can be inventive in trying to put someone on the spot. He can do it in a clever, sneaky or sweet way. He still requires some practice in learning the tricks of the trade.
Just watch your little one go to work on you or someone else when he needs to get something done. Tell him what you think. Your child is still researching in the world of principles. He learns from your feedback.
“When he asks me to get something for him and I ask where I should put it, he walks to a spot and points where I should put it down. Then he is very friendly and easy going.”
Steven’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“She is getting better at expressing her wishes. She takes my hand and leads me off if she needs a new diaper. She grabs my finger if she needs me to do something for her with my finger, like pressing a button. She also leads me to where she doesn’t want to go alone. It doesn’t matter if I’m in the middle of something or not. She wants things done right away.”
Josie’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
“He points at things more and more. He also points to the things he wants you to get for him. This week he lured his grandmother to the kitchen, walked to the cabinet where the cookies are and pointed to the top shelf.”
Frankie’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“With a sly look on her face, she pointed to an egg and then a plate. She meant, ‘put that egg on my plate.’ She was so cute that no one could refuse.”
Hannah’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“These past weeks he has been commanding like a general. He cries out loudly and forcefully: ‘Mom! Mom!’ when he wants something. When I look at him, he sits there with his arm outstretched, pointing at the toy of his choosing. He wants them brought and when he gets his request, he pulls his arm back and carries on playing. Giving orders has become second nature to him. This week was the first time I really noticed it.”
Matt’s mom, 68th week, or 15½ months
“Today she showed me what she wanted when we were visiting someone. She took my hand and walked to the door, behind which were our coats, opened the door, went to our coats and pointed while looking at me with a questioning look on her face. I didn’t know what hit me.”
Emily’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
In the world of principles your child has choices: “Am I going with the flow or against it?” “Do I care what mom says or not?” In addition to that, your toddler is growing ever more outspoken and more capable. Small assignments are getting easier for him, like: “Get your shoes,” “Go get your bottle,” “Throw that in the trash,” “Give it to daddy,” “Put it in the hall,” or “Put it in the hamper.” You might have already noticed that you sometimes don’t have to say what to do. Your little fellow already grasps what you want and is working along. It is increasingly easier to lay down certain ground rules.
Try involving your child in day-to-day business and getting involved in his day-to-day, too. It makes him feel understood, appreciated and important. His ego is growing. Praise him too, if he is thinking ahead for you. He is demonstrating that he knows what needs to be done.
“Every time before we go somewhere, she gets her own jacket.”
Josie’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“He now understands that he needs to stay with me when we’re on the sidewalk.”
Luke’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
“She puts two and two together. When I say: ‘Go find your bottle,’ she returns after her expedition and makes a gesture of ‘gone.’”
Eve’s mom, 72nd week, or 16½ months
“When she needs changing, she walks with me to her dresser. She lays still and practically helps me.”
Laura’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“She knows that she is not allowed to take the nuts from the bowl on the table. So she thought of a trick so she could eat the nuts and still conform to the rules. She got her own plate and a spoon and scooped some nuts onto her plate. She then ate her winnings with her spoon. This way she could have some nuts and eat them, too, without breaking the rules in her eyes.”
Ashley’s mom, 68th week, or 15½ months
“When we are discussing practical things, he follows the conversation, fully focused. When the conversation is finished, he smiles exuberantly to demonstrate that he could understand some of what was said even though it was not directed at him. After that, he likes to prove it with one feat or another. It’s almost like we just had a conversation. It really makes his day when we understand each other so well.”
John’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“She keeps trying to involve one of us in her games.”
Jenny’s mom, 72rd week, or 16½ months
Being helpful
When toddlers land in the world of principles, most of them are particularly interested in all the goings-on about the house, although there is a big chance that your little one is no longer content just watching mom do her thing. He wants to help. He wants to lighten your load.
Let your child do his part. He really wants to believe that he is a big help and that without him things would be a huge mess or that dinner wouldn’t be any good. Be sure he receives a well-deserved compliment.
“He constantly wants to help me. Whether it is straightening up, cleaning, going to bed or somewhere else, it doesn’t matter. He wants very much to take part in the day-to-day routine on his own accord. When he is taken seriously, it gives him profound contentment. Understanding one another is central these days.”
Jim’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“She helps me set and clear the table as well as do the vacuuming. She just started one day and it disappoints her if she doesn’t get the necessary time and space to be creative.”
Josie’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“She gladly helps making drinks. Sometimes, I let her make her own drink. She uses all kinds of ingredients. When she drinks it, she goes around murmuring, ‘yum, yum, yum.’”
Juliette’s mom, 68th week, or 15½ months
“As soon as I grab the vacuum cleaner, she grabs her battery-powered one. She wants to help oh so badly. So what happens is that my vacuum is the one she wants to use because it’s better. Therefore, I begin with hers and when she takes it back, I can peacefully go on with the real one.”
Victoria’s mom, 61st week, or 14 months
“She used to like to watch me doing my thing. Now she wants to help. When she sees me slice a lemon, she runs to the counter to be picked up so that she can put the lemon in the citrus press. If she sees dirty dishes, she hurries over to the counter to do the washing up.”
Nina’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
Being careful
Does your toddler experiment with being “rash” or “careful?” “Should I fling my cup on the ground or should I carefully place it on the table?” Reckless behavior seems to be very popular. Running, climbing, wild horseplay and reckless treatment of objects seem to be the favorite pastime. But realize that by experimenting and getting your reaction to such behavior, your little one learns what it means to be reckless or to be careful.
“He practices his balance. Outside, he reaches for the sky, inside he reaches for the ceiling. He climbs onto chairs and tables so that he can reach higher and does seem to understand that space is out of reach. While reaching he all of a sudden lets himself fall down.”
Luke’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“When you’re least expecting it, she throws her bottle away, for instance when we are cycling, and then she studies our reaction to her behavior out of the corner of her eye.”
Hannah’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“He climbs like a monkey. He climbs on everything. He climbs on chairs a lot. I also constantly find him on the dining room table, claiming that he can’t get down! He is careful. He is aware of the danger, but sometimes he falls pretty hard.”
Frankie’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
“Wrestling with his brother is now the top draw. Sometimes they get really rough.”
Kevin’s mom, 69th week, or approaching 16 months
“She spilled a few drops of her drink on the floor. I grabbed an old sock that was lying around and mopped up. She looked at me shocked and amazed, went purposefully to the baby wipes, took one out of the box and mopped all over again. When she had finished, she looked at me as if she wanted to say, ‘That’s how it should be done.’ I was taken aback at the level of cleanliness, and I praised her for it.”
Victoria’s mom, 61st week, or 14 months
“She is very capable in expressing that something is dirty. She repeatedly says ‘poo’ to the slightest smudge in bed. I hope that this is temporary and she doesn’t stay such a ‘neat freak.’”
Josie’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“When her brother was looking through her dolls in search of a special robot, he swept all her dolls onto the floor. Even Elisabeth’s baby doll. She immediately ran to her fallen child and picked her up, hurried to me and thrust the doll to my breast. She then gave her brother a dirty look.”
Elisabeth’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
When your toddler is busy exploring her new world and working through her newfound ability, she will encounter things and situations that are new and foreign to her. She is actually discovering new dangers, dangers that until now did not exist for her. She isn’t able to talk about it yet. Only after she comes to understand things more fully will her fears disappear. Show sympathy.
“He was mad for batteries. All batteries had to come out and be put back in, out, in, out, in; it was endless.”
Steven’s mom, 61st week, or 14 months
“He is scared of his sister’s ducky. He walks way around it if it’s in the way. When he grabs it, he drops it immediately.”
James’ mom, 66th week, or 15 months
“It looks as if she is afraid to sit in the bathtub by herself. Yelling and screeching. We don’t know the reason. She wants to get in provided one of us joins her. She’s not afraid of the swimming pool. She likes getting in there.”
Josie’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
“She is not afraid of new things, but you do notice that she is not completely convinced.”
Josie’s mom, 68th week, or 15½ months
Whining and whimpering to get one’s way, childish behavior like constantly needing to be entertained and always wanting a pacifier, being messy without any cause, not being careful and expressly hurting others, going out of the way to be bad – you probably wonder if you’re the only one that is having such trouble with your little one’s behavior. No, certainly not. Your toddler is no longer a baby. Time has come to lay down some ground rules. Your toddler is ready for you to start asking and expecting more from her. What’s more: she is searching for these boundaries. Now that she has entered the world of principles, she yearns for rules. She is looking for chances to familiarize herself with them. Just as she must satisfy her appetite by eating, so too she must satisfy this yearning for rules. Most rules she will only discover if they are presented to her by you. Social rules in particular are important. You must show her what is acceptable and what is not acceptable socially. There is no harm in laying down the law. On the contrary, you owe it to her, and who better to do so than someone who loves her?
“I think that he should be able to put things on the table neatly. It really annoys me if he throws his sandwich and bottle when he’s finished with them. He has to stop that. He’s capable of putting things down properly.”
Thomas’ mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
“She still whines and whimpers to get her way, making it difficult to be consistent. It seems that this is the point where she needs guidance. It’s much easier to give her what she wants, because she stops whining then. If I don’t give her what she wants, then all hell breaks loose. Then there’s a power struggle, which she easily wins. I’ve never been quite so aware of power as I am now.”
Josie’s mom, 68th week, or 15½ months
“Sometimes he does something he’s not supposed to on purpose. He throws rocks, puts batteries in his mouth or smears his food on the floor. I scold him, while taking everything he has in his hands and putting it out of reach. This sometimes ends in an argument.”
Paul’s mom, 69thweek, or approaching 16 months
“Is my child the only one that rolls around on the ground kicking and screaming when she doesn’t get her way? I don’t hear the other parents complaining much. Do I let her get away with too much? Do I cater too much to her needs? Is it because she goes to daycare more often? What am I to do? Right, lay down clear ground rules, that’s what I will do.”
Vera’s mom, 70th week, or 16 months
“I teach him that he is not allowed to just take things away from other children.”
Thomas’ mom, 70th week, or 16 months
Top Games for This Wonder Week
Here are games and activities that most 15-16 month old toddlers like best now and that help develop their new abilities. Remember, all children are different. See what your little one responds to best
Skillfulness
In the world of principles toddlers have surpassed programs and thoroughly enjoy endlessly practicing variations and experimenting with these programs. By doing so, they become skillful and discover how and when they can best get things done. They are also keen observers.
PHYSICAL ANTICS
Your toddler will like running, climbing, chasing other kids, jumping on the bed, doing somersaults, rolling on the ground, wrestling with other kids, playing “I’ll get you,” walking stairs without holding on, walking on walls, jumping from walls, the list is endless. Take the time to give her the opportunity to do it.
EXPLORING THE GREAT OUTDOORS
Roaming around outside, doing nothing in particular while scouting about is often the favorite pastime: at the petting zoo, on the playground, or in the zoo. Even just being carried on mom or dad’s back at a festival, is doable for several hours.
Challenge your little one to play a pointing game. You say a word and have your child point to where the object, toy, or body part is.
GAMES USING HANDS AND FEET WITH SINGING AND RHYMING
Use rhymes or songs which involve using hands and feet. For instance, they love: “The Wheels on the Bus Go ‘Round and ’Round” or “If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands” or “Itsy Bitsy Spider” or “Head, Shoulder, Knees and Toes. ”
CALLING GAMES
See how your child likes playing a “calling game.” It’s best to start with your child calling you. Then call her name out and get her to call back at you. Call her name out again. Most children feel proud upon hearing their own name called out. It makes them feel like they belong.
Kidding around
In the world of principles, kidding and joking will start to play a more important role. By now, your toddler has figured out a bit how things work. So when things get out of whack, she really gets a kick out of it, whether it’s someone acting funny or bending the rules.
JUST BEING SILLY
Your toddler loves acting silly: funny faces, funny walks or odd sounds. Especially if she is not expecting it. It’s a real mess when the little ones get together. It cracks her up when her brother and sister join the antics. She and her little friends also have the greatest time acting silly.
Your toddler uses silliness to get something or get something done by someone. Pleasant surprises are far more effective in getting something out of mom than temper tantrums. Some tykes employ various antics in order to bend or get around the rules. Not listening, being unruly or teasing mom are all cause for laughter. Give your kid the opportunity to play the clown. But be clear and correct her if and when she oversteps the bounds. She won’t yet always know if she has gone too far.
CARTOONS, MONSTERS AND ANIMALS
Animals that do something silly or unexpectedly are favorites with toddlers. For instance, the monsters in “Sesame Street” are really funny. Cartoons really make her laugh, especially if something happens that catches her by surprise.
Household games
In the world of principles, your child re-enacts the daily business in and around the house. Give her the opportunity and play with her sometimes. It makes your toddler feel she is part of the club. It’s great if she can actually help out. Here below are a few examples, but you are bound to come up with more.
COOKING PRACTICE
Give her some small bowls, some real food and a bowl of water, so she can cook to can feed her doll
There are toy vacuum cleaners that are exact replicas of the real thing. Vacuuming together can be fun!
DOING THE DISHES
The water goes everywhere, but that’s what mops are for.
DOING EXACTLY AS MOM DOES
Leave your shoes lying around, so that she can put them on.
Games with emotions
Your toddler will be experimenting with emotions, such as varying her expressions when she greets people or when she wants something. Pay special attention and play along with the drama. For instance, you can imitate her and play pitiful. It will probably make her laugh.
Hide and seek
PEEK-A-BOO
Peek-a-Boo is a classic that always works.
HIDE AND SEEK
With each leap playing “hide and seek” becomes slightly more advanced. By this age, your toddler is already good at staying hidden in one place.
Here are toys and things that most 15-16 month old toddlers like best now and that help develop the new ability:
Around 68 weeks, or approaching 16 months, most toddlers become a little less troublesome than they were. They are bigger and have grown wiser and are living right along with the rest of us. You sometimes forget that they are still very little.
“He looks slimmer, less stocky, his face thinner, he is growing up. I sometimes see him sitting calmly, focused on his food. He seems rather mature then.”
Luke’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
“Everything comes easier to her now, from feeding herself to cleaning up. She is really just like the rest of us. I keep forgetting that she is still a very small child.”
Eve’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
“All of a sudden, she seems wiser and more mature. It seems that she has taken a giant leap forward. She has entered the wide world, full of confidence and fearing nothing and nobody. She is doing extremely well, is easy-going and sweet, and at night she falls asleep much easier.”
Josie’s mom, 70th week, or 16 months
My Diary
Top Toys for This Wonder Week