Appendix A

Oy Vey! and Other Words You Should Know

In this appendix, we focus on words that you might hear from folks talking or writing about Judaism — words which you might want to know in order to carry on your side of the conversation.

A Primer of Basic Words

When you’re reading through the following list of words, remember that the “ch” sound in Hebrew is not the “choo-choo” sound (see the Introduction). When you see “ch” in a Hebrew word, you should always read it as a “kh” sound made in the back of the throat, as though you were clearing your throat, or trying to sound Scottish or German. We usually use “kh,” but some words are so commonly spelled with a “ch” that we leave them as is.

Bagels. After vacations, Ted often brought back bagels from Cleveland to his small state college in Ohio, and many of his non-Jewish friends would gape, never having seen such a food before. How times have changed! Over the past 20 years, ring-shaped, doughy bagels have transformed from a Jewish delicacy into part of mainline American culture. Bagels are traditionally served with a schmeer of cream cheese (see Yiddish, Yinglish, Oy! later in this appendix), red onions, and a pile of smoked salmon.

Chabad (pronounced kha-bahd). Several sects grew out of the original Hasidic movement founded by the Ba’al Shem Tov (see Chapter 28) in the late 18th century, but the one you’re most likely to run into is the Chabad Lubavitchers. The Chabad movement is Ultra-Orthodox and tends to be intellectually focused; the movement has had a major presence on college campuses for many years.

Ellis Island. Most Jews in America today had ancestors who came from Europe in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, and almost all these brave immigrants traveled into New York Harbor (past the Statue of Liberty) and were processed by government officials on Ellis Island. Perhaps the most significant aspect of Ellis Island is that this is where many Jews were given new family names. Unable to spell or understand the strange-sounding names they heard, officials often assigned names that sounded right to them.

Golem. Form some mud into a human shape, say the right incantations, and you may find yourself with a golem on your hands: a “living” creature with no soul. The idea of a golem was first discussed in the Talmud (which says that Adam was a golem before receiving his soul), but the most famous of these imaginary creatures is the 17th-century Golem of Prague, who became the superhuman protector of the Jews, bringing anti-Semitic criminals to justice.

Hatikvah. Written as a poem in the late nineteenth century by Naftali Hertz Imber, Hatikvah (“The Hope”) was set to music and sung by many of the early Zionists. In 1948, Hatikvah was adopted as the Israeli national anthem.

Kibbutz. A kibbutz (don’t confuse this with the Yiddish kibbitz, which we discuss later in this appendix) is a collective farm supporting a democratic and socialist ideal of shared responsibility and benefit from the land. Immigrant Jews founded the first kibbutz in Palestine in 1910, and there are now over 200 kibbutzim (the plural form of the word) in Israel. Even though only 5 percent of Israelis live on a kibbutz, the kibbutz movement’s ideals and attitudes have been extremely influential in Israeli culture and politics.

Ladino. Where the Ashkenazim of Eastern Europe mixed and matched languages to form Yiddish (which we talk about later in this appendix), the Sephardim of Spain and the Mediterranean countries built a completely different language, called Ladino, based on Spanish and Hebrew, with some Turkish, Greek, French, Italian, and Portuguese mixed in. Here are two Ladino phrases you can use to impress people: Dos Judiyos, tres kehilot (“Two Jews, three opinions”) and Buen moed (“Good holiday”).

Magen David. The six-pointed star that appears on the Israeli flag is called the Magen David, and it has become a symbol of everything Jewish. Often translated as “Star of David,” Magen David really means the “Shield of David.” There’s actually no connection between the star and King David at all, and it wasn’t until the seventeenth century that the Magen David was linked specifically to Judaism. In the late nineteenth century, the star became the official symbol of the Zionist movement. In the twentieth century, the Magen David became a symbol of humiliation as Jews were forced to wear a “yellow star” to identify themselves as Jews. The star is also a symbol of comfort, in the form of the Magen David Edom (the Jewish version of the Red Cross).

Pilpul. If you really believe that the Torah and the Talmud are true word-for-word revelations from God, then each detail deserves extraordinary scrutiny. Pilpul is a form of study in which the minute details of the oral and written texts are deconstructed and debated. Note that pilpul means “pepper,” and it’s meant to add spice to Talmudic discussions.

Righteous Gentiles. While thousands, and perhaps millions, of non-Jews were either active in the killing of Jews during the Holocaust or passively let it happen, there were some who, during the dark days of the Nazi era, risked their own safety to support, shelter, and protect Jewish members of their communities. These people are called righteous gentiles, a phrase taken from the Talmud: Chasidei Ummot ha-Olam (“Righteous ones of the nations of the world”), a term of honor and respect. Perhaps the two most famous examples are Oscar Schindler, whose story was told in Steven Speilberg’s film Schindler’s List, and Raoul Wallenberg, a Swedish diplomat stationed in Budapest who is credited with saving as many as 100,000 Jews by giving them Swedish citizenship. Denmark is sometimes considered a “nation of righteous gentiles” because of its peoples’ heroic efforts to save the Danish Jews during World War II by sending them to Sweden, a neutral country that accepted many thousands of Jews.

Shalom aleikhem. If someone says shalom aleikhem to you as you walk down the street, the appropriate response is aleikhem shalom. Both phrases are generally translated as “peace to you,” but shalom means something deeper than just “peace.” Shalom comes from a root which means “to make whole,” so the wish is for “peace” in the sense of wholeness and completeness.

Shammos. The word shammos is a Yiddish pronunciation of the Hebrew word shammash, which literally means a servant, an attendant, or a waiter. Shammos generally refers to either the “helper” candle in the Chanukkah menorah (see Chapter 22) or the caretaker of a synagogue.

Six-Day War. In May of 1967, the governments of Egypt, Syria, Iraq, and Jordan each announced that they intended to attack Israel. After Egypt closed the Strait of Tiran (in the Red Sea) to all ships carrying strategic materials to the Jewish state, and the Arabs began to ready their armies, the Israeli government made a decision: On June 5th, Israel launched a preemptive strike and in a single day destroyed the majority of both the Egyptian and Syrian air force. After six days of fighting, Israel dealt a humiliating defeat to the Arabs and captured the Sinai peninsula from Egypt, the Golan Heights from Syria, and the West Bank (including East Jerusalem) from Jordan.

Tikkun. Tikkun literally means improvement, repair, or correction. However, the term is at the core of an important Jewish teaching: that the greater purpose of Jewish identity and observance has to do with the healing of both our planet and ourselves. The phrase tikkun olam is sometimes translated as the “healing of the world,” and refers to world peace, global security, social justice, or — in the more mystical tradition — the completion of all of God’s creation.

Western Wall. The most sacred site in Judaism isn’t a synagogue or the home of some important relic, but rather an enormous stone wall in Jerusalem that originally had no religious purpose. The Western Wall (in Hebrew, Kotel ha-Ma’aravi) is the only structure still standing from the Temple Mount, which was completely destroyed by the Romans in 70 CE (see Chapter 13. Even though this was only a section of an outer retaining wall, so many people cry and pray fervently here that it’s also known as the “Wailing Wall.” If you visit the Western Wall, you will see people praying, reading from the Torah (this is a popular place for boys to have their Bar Mitzvah ceremony; see Chapter 8), and stuffing written prayers into cracks in the wall.

Yad Vashem. Yad Vashem is Israel’s Holocaust memorial. The dignity and holiness of the memorial helps new generations to remember atrocities beyond words and often beyond understanding. Recent redesign and an online database of those killed in the Shoah provide even greater access to the realities of that terrible period. The memorial strives to accurately present what occurred hoping that this information will inhibit such a tragedy in the future.

Yeshivah. A yeshivah (literally, a place for “sitting”) is a general term for a school for Jewish study, but the term refers more particularly to traditional institutions for higher education. The focus of most yeshivahot is Torah and Talmud study, though some — including the progressive Yeshivah University in New York City — encourage secular studies as well. A Kollel is traditionally a yeshivah for older, married students, sort of like a graduate school for Jewish study.

Yom Kippur War. On Yom Kippur (see Chapter 20), 1973, when the vast majority of Israeli soldiers were at home or in synagogue, Egypt and Syria launched a massive surprise attack on Israel, beginning what is now known as the Yom Kippur War. Syria invaded the Golan Heights, and over 70,000 Egyptian troops crossed the Suez Canal into the Sinai, where they met fewer than 500 Israeli soldiers. However, after three weeks of fighting, Israel won the war and drove both countries out.

Yom Tov. Each Jewish holiday is called a Yom tov (Hebrew for “good day”). This phrase got shortened in Yiddish to yontif, and people commonly greet each other on holidays with, “Güt yontif,” which actually means “good good day.”

Zion. Zion (from the Hebrew tzion) is another name for Israel, though it also refers to Jerusalem and even the whole of the Jewish people. A Zionist is someone who believes in the necessity of a Jewish state of Israel.

Yiddish, Yinglish, Oy!

Yiddish has deep roots. Its history reaches back to Germany in the Middle Ages, though it really came into its own around the fifteenth century. For most of the past 500 years, it was common for Jews in Eastern Europe to read Hebrew during religious teaching or prayer; speak Polish, German, or Russian to their non-Jewish neighbors; and to speak Yiddish to each other.

Yiddish is a mongrel language, a mixture of Hebrew, German, Polish, Slavic, and Russian. To the untrained ear, Yiddish sounds a lot like German.

We don’t speak Yiddish fluently, but like many Jews today, we grew up hearing our parents and grandparents sprinkle Yiddish words into their English sentences. Yiddish simply captures a tone that is hard to find in English alone.

Many people think that Yiddish is a dying language. But the irony is that Yiddish, which survived for hundreds of years by borrowing words from other languages, is now thriving in part by being incorporated into English. An increasing number of universities are now teaching Yiddish — and the first ever Japanese-Yiddish dictionary was recently published.

The following is a list of Yiddish words that are increasingly common, even in English conversations. If your interest is sparked, get a copy of Leo Rosten’s The Joys of Yiddish, a book we consider essential for every Jewish household.

Where Hebrew doesn’t have a “ch” sound (like the word “chewy”) and instead uses a guttural “kh” sound (see the Introduction), Yiddish uses both sounds. However, in the following list, you can assume the Hebrew pronunciation unless we note otherwise.

Alter kahker. Yiddish has little tolerance for fancy gentility. Alter kahker literally means an old pooper (though “pooper” is still not brash enough). The term refers to any old man who just sits around all day and is meekly ineffectual. We don’t recommend calling someone an alter kahker to his face.

Apikorus. Ancient Greek culture was seductive to many Jews around the Eastern Mediterranean, many of whom dropped their Jewish ways and assimilated. The term apikorus (from the Greek philosopher Epicurus) developed in Talmudic times to describe a non-observant Jew. The term was later generalized to mean any skeptic or non-believer.

Baleboosteh. While any woman who keeps house or runs a business can be considered a baleboosteh (pronounced “bah-leh-boo-stah”), the term is usually reserved for a woman who excels in organization, cleanliness, and homemaking. While some might use the term to mean “a bossy woman,” it’s usually said with high praise. The male counterpart is called a balaboss.

Boychik. Pronounced “boy-chick,” this word means almost exactly what it sounds like: a young boy. Of course, a grandmother might call her grandson her boychik even if he’s 40 years old.

Bubeleh. While bubeleh (pronounced “boo-balah”) really means “little grandmother,” it is used in place of almost any endearment. Mothers call their children (both male and female) bubeleh, and adults call each other bubeleh. You’ll also hear a shortened version, bubbe (pronounced “booh-bee”), often between friends.

Bubkes. While bubkes (pronounced “bub-kiss”) stems from the Russian word for “beans,” it means something trivial or of no value. Leo Rosten writes, “Bubkes must be uttered with either scorn, sarcasm, indignation, or contempt. The expletive takes over where ‘Nonsense!’ ‘Baloney!’ or ‘Bushwa!’ stop for a rest.” What are they paying you? Bubkes!

Chazzer. Anyone cheap, slovenly, vulgar, or greedy is a chazzer (pronounced “khazzer”), but usually the word describes someone who eats a lot. Instead of calling someone a “pig” you could call them a chazzer (and, in fact, chazzer is the Hebrew word for pig). While you might use chazzer affectionately to a little child, we think it sounds best when accompanied by scowling. One of David’s favorite Yiddish words is a close relative: chazzerai, meaning junky items or trashy stuff. David’s office is filled with chazzerai and tchotchkes (see the listing later in this list). Chazzerai can also mean junk food; the kind of food a chazzer would fress (also later in the list).

Chutzpah. It’s easy to understand why chutzpah (pronounced “khutzpah”) would be so commonly used, even by non-Jews: There just isn’t another word (at least in English) that so well captures a sense of brazen arrogance, guts, presumption, or gall. It’s just gall to telephone the president of a large company and ask her to lunch in order to get a job in the mail room. It’s chutzpah to actually get her to take you to lunch, where you talk yourself into a title like Vice President of Mail Operations.

Dreck. We grew up at a time when it was unfashionable (to say the least) to use four-letter words in front of our parents, so when it came time to describe something trashy or worthless, we relied on the Yiddish word dreck. Quite literally meaning “excrement,” dreck might describe the excruciating movie you saw last week, the food at that new restaurant, or the opinions of certain well-known radio talk show hosts. Dreck is a great word, but don’t overuse it; like a fine bottle of wine, it should be reserved for just the right time.

Fress. We’ll use psychic powers to look into your past: If you’re Jewish, your grandmother thought you didn’t eat enough, and when you sat down to eat, she didn’t tell you to eat, she said fress, meaning eat a lot. Of course, if you grabbed a bite out of the refrigerator and ate it quickly on the way out the door, she complained just as loudly, “Slow down, already! Don’t fress.” It’s a subtle difference that perhaps only a grandmother could understand. Also note that someone who eats a lot, or who eats quickly, is a fresser, as in “Oy, look at that guy at the table over there; is he ever a fresser!”

Gay gezuntaheit. If only Lawrence Welk had ended his classic television show, amid bubbles, with “Goodnight, auf wedersein, au reviour, gay gezuntaheit!” Meaning “go with health,” (and pronounced “gay geh-zoon-tah-hite”) this Yiddish phrase is said when parting from someone you like.

Goy. A goy is any non-Jew (plural: goyim). Like gaijin in Japanese, goy simply means someone from another nation. However, also like gaijin, it has unfortunately taken on a somewhat negative undertone. The result is that it’s hard to know if someone is saying the word in a derogatory fashion or not. We both grew up saying goy, and we like to think we weren’t being nasty about it. However, we now try to use “non-Jew” because it’s less ambiguous and loaded a word.

Hokn a cheinik. When confronted with someone babbling about something (you gave up listening five minutes ago), you can say, “Please, stop hokn a cheinik” (Yiddish has the more familiar “ch” sound, so here the “ch” is anglicized, as in “China”: “hok’n a chai-nik”). Although cheinik refers to any yammering or incessant talking, the phrase more or less literally means, “Stop banging on the teapot.”

Kenahora. Don’t you feel silly when you say “knock on wood” (glancing around for the nearest piece of wood)? And yet superstition has such a firm grip on the human mind that you almost feel more uncomfortable not saying it after uttering some positive statement. Fortunately, you can use the phrase kenahora instead (meaning “no evil eye,” a slurring of three Yiddish words: kein (no), ayin (eye), hara (evil); maybe if you sound ethnic, no one will notice that you’re superstitious). This is pronounced in various ways: “ken ah-hor-ah” or “kine ah-hor-ah.” “My son is graduating in June, kenahora.” “I haven’t had a cold all year, kenahora.” “You should live, kenahora, to see that day.”

Kibbitz. Here’s another Yiddish word that has worked its way into the English language: To kibbitz means to butt in, to give advice, or to comment on, especially when it’s none of your business. For example, it’s almost impossible for a Jewish chess player to refrain from kibbitzing while watching two other people playing. The person doing the kibbitzing — whether from across the room or from the back seat of the car — is a kibbitzer. Note that if you’re asked to make suggestions, you’re an adviser, not a kibbitzer.

Kishkes. On the one hand, kishkes is a culinary delicacy involving stuffing a cow’s intestines with vegetables, spices, and chicken fat. (Look, we didn’t say we eat this stuff; just that it exists.) On the other hand, kishkes is another word for “guts,” as in the stuff in your abdominal cavity. When your airplane or an elevator suddenly drops slightly, you can feel it in your kishkes. An evangelical minister (with a sense of humor) might ask in a sermon, “Can you feel that spirit right down in your kishkes?”

Kvell. When your child comes back with a straight-A report card, you can’t help but kvell. When your son marries a doctor, you kvell. Kvelling is filling with pride and pleasure, to the point where you’ve got to tell someone. When someone gives you nakhes (see later in this list), you kvell. Kvelling is a parent’s favorite pastime.

Kvetch. One of the best Yiddish words ever invented, kvetch means to complain or gripe. (It can also refer to the person who is kvetching, as in “He’s such a kvetch.”) Making a clear statement about a complaint you might have is not kvetching; whining about it, kicking clods of dirt, or writing 15 e-mails to the editor is kvetching. You can procrastinate for at least half a day by kvetching, and then you can kvetch about the time you’ve wasted.

L’chayim. When raising a glass to make a toast, Americans say “Cheers,” Germans say “Prost,” the Japanese say “Campai,” and someone (we can’t figure out who) says “Here’s mud in your eye.” The Jews say L’chayim, literally “to life.”

Lokh in kop. Sometimes Yiddish phrases get translated into English before becoming part of the everyday language. A good example is lokh in kop, meaning “a hole in the head.” You need a tax audit like a lokh in kop. Try this phrase out a few times; for some reason we find it’s more satisfying to say than the English version.

Makhetunim. Your spouse’s family is makhetunim (pronounced “makh-eh-tu-num”), and it always seems that your makhetunim is twice as big as your own family. Some people also use the word referring to their children’s in-laws. For example, if your son is married, your daughter-in-law’s family are your makhetunim.

Maven. Some people don’t even know that the word maven — meaning a connoisseur or an expert — is Yiddish; it has simply become part of English common usage. Maven (may-ven) implies more than just great knowledge, however. Someone who works on cars is a mechanic; a maven not only knows cars inside and out, but can tell you what’s wrong with your car by just listening to your engine.

Mazel tov. Every major step along life’s path, like a graduation or wedding, is punctuated by the words mazel tov. While this literally means “good planet,” it’s used more like “good luck” or “congratulations.” Something good happened to you today? Mazel tov! Some people mistakenly use l’chayim when they mean mazel tov; but we know you wouldn’t do that.

Mensch. While the Germans use mensch to refer to any human being, Yiddish ascribes much more meaning to the word. To be a called a mensch (or better yet, a “real mensch”) is perhaps the greatest compliment and sign of respect. A mensch implies more than just a successful person; it implies that someone is morally and ethically upright, someone of noble character. Being rich or beautiful or even popular doesn’t make you a mensch. It’s something richer than money. It doesn’t have to be grand, though: Someone who finds a wallet and returns it intact to the owner is a mensch.

Meshuggeh. Meshuggeh (pronounced “meh-shug-ah”) means “crazy,” but it might mean “foolish,” “absurd,” or even truly “mentally ill,” depending on the context and how forcefully it’s said. A related word is mishegass (“mish-eh-gahss”), meaning insanity or foolishness. The difference? A particular congressman might be a meshuggeh (or a meshuggener), but politics (like sausage) is a mishegass. David now knows that the idea of remodeling a house is meshuggeh, primarily because of the mishegass he had to deal with last year. Basically, meshuggehs with all their meshuggener ideas cause a real mishegass.

Mishpokhah. Your family is your mishpokhah (pronounced “mish-pokh-ah”). No, we’re not talking about just your immediate family; mishpochah implies all your family. In fact, the term is often extended to the entire Jewish family. When a Jew sees someone he doesn’t know but suspects is also Jewish, he or she might quietly ask, “Mishpochah?” Of course, recent DNA tests seem to indicate that we’re all mishpochah anyway, if you go back far enough.

Nakhes. Like kvell, the word nakhes means proud or joyous; however there’s a subtle difference between the two words. Nakhes is the reflected light that falls on you when someone else (typically your child) does something great. For example, you might kvell because your son is a doctor, but the fact that he became a doctor reflects well on you, giving you nakhes. (For some reason, you always get nakhes. Who are we to question Yiddish grammar?) After your child strikes a home run, you might say, “Oy, you give me such nakhes!”

Nebbish. Yiddish has a wonderful ability to describe personality types, and one of our favorite types is the nebbish, that sadsack loser who, no matter how sorry you feel for him (nine out of ten nebbishes are men), just makes your teeth itch. Leo Rosten recalls the saying that when a nebbish leaves the room you feel like someone just came in.

Nosh. There are few pleasures as great as noshing, eating little snacks. In fact, we’re certain that Jews invented hors d’ouvers as a good excuse to nosh at parties. You might also say, “I’m just going to get a little nosh.” But watch out: Your friends might start calling you a nosher.

Nu? One of the most used of all Yiddish words is nu. Almost always asked as a question, “Nu?” can mean two dozen different things, depending on context, the telling, the raising of the eyebrows, and the tone of the voice. For example, “Nu?” might mean “How are you,” “I’m waiting for you,” “Isn’t that obvious,” or “What could I do?”

Oy! The epitome of Yiddish is oy! (It really deserves to be spelled with an exclamation point.) Like nu, saying oy! can mean so many different things that it’s hard to pin down. It can be a cry of surprise, pain, frustration, joy, contentment, or dismay. It can be an exclamation, a question, or a sigh. For emphasis, you might say oy vey (“oh, woe!”), or draw it out with oy veyzmir.

Pisher. A pisher is someone who is inexperienced or just young and “wet behind the ears,” like a “little squirt.” While a pisher is literally someone who urinates, no one uses it in this sense; rather, people say pisher either affectionately (“What a cute little pisher you are!”) or derisively (“You can’t trust what he says, he’s just a pisher around here”).

Plotz. You know those cartoon strips where someone is so surprised or aggravated that you see them flip over, legs in the air? Have you ever wondered what they’re doing? They’re plotzing. Plotzing in the real world often happens when someone tells a really funny joke (“I laughed so hard, I thought I’d plotz.”) or when bad news is imminent (“Don’t tell your grandmother that; she’ll plotz.”).

Putz. Every 14-year-old knows that you can judge the efficacy of a language by the number of euphemisms for the male genitalia. Yiddish, in this respect, excels. Putz (pronounced like a golf swing: “Moishe putts next”) is one such word, and it was once considered vulgar enough to avoid using in mixed company. However, no one really uses putz to describe a penis; instead, a putz is a fool, a jerk, or almost anyone who is a pain in your tukhis: “That putz couldn’t get himself out of a paper bag if he tried.”

Schlemiel. A schlemiel (pronounced “shleh-meal”) is an incompetent, socially maladjusted, foolish person, who constantly makes mistakes. A well-known Yiddish phrase says that when a schlemiel falls on his back, he breaks his nose.

Schlep. To schlep something is to carry or drag it. For example, “Help me schlep the groceries in from the car.” or “Oy, I don’t want to schlep this stuff all over town.” However, sometimes schlepping refers to your own body: an hour-long commute is a major schlep. On the one hand, a schlepper is someone who schleps things. However, the term has connotations of anyone who drags his or her heels, acts inefficiently, or is lazy. When he was a teenager, David’s mother was forever telling him to brush his hair before going out so that he wouldn’t look like a schlepper.

Schlemazl. Almost every Yiddish word that begins with “sch” belittles someone or something, so perhaps it’s no surprise that a schlemazl refers to someone with chronic bad luck. When a schlemazl finds a 50-dollar bill on the street, the first person she runs into is the guy she owes $51. The schlemazl is the one the schlemiel drops his soup on.

Schlock. When you drive around town and see household items on the sidewalk with a sign that reads “Free, take me,” that stuff is schlock. Schlock can be anything junky.

Schmatta. A schmatta is a rag or something sullied. A Jewish woman can spend a week finding the perfect dress for the New Year’s ball, but when you compliment her on it, she’ll answer, “Oh, this old schmatta?” Soon after author and meditation teacher Ram Dass (who was born a very Jewish Richard Alpert) had a stroke, a doctor had to determine how well his mind was still functioning. The doctor held up a pen and asked, “What is this?” Ram Dass answered, “A pen.” Then the doctor held up his tie, and Ram Dass answered, “A schmatta.”

Schmeer. One of the side effects of the increasing popularity of bagels in America has been the simultaneous increase in the usage of the word schmeer, meaning a spread, or as a verb, to spread or smear. You can’t just eat a bagel; you have to schmeer on some cream cheese (or at least some raspberry preserves). Note that some people also use shmeer to indicate a bribe (“Do we need to schmeer the maitre’d here?”), though that’s much less common. Additionally, schmeer can mean “beaten badly,” as in, “He really got schmeered!”

Schmuck. Okay, confession time: When David was eight years old, he found a badge that read “Super Schmuck” (a friend had given it to his father as a gag). As proud as any super-hero, he bounded around the house, yelling “I am super schmuck!” He was so disappointed when he found out that schmuck actually meant penis. (It’s from the German word for “jewels.”) Schmuck, like putz, has evolved over time and entered common American usage to mean a dolt, a fool, or a jerk. For example, “Any schmuck knows that!” Back when schmuck was a more loaded and vulgar term, Americans shortened it to schmo (like, “Who is that schmo, anyway?” or “I feel like such a schmo.”).

Shiksa. A shiksa is any non-Jewish woman, though it primarily refers to a young woman, and especially one who has eyes for your Jewish son. Remember that the Jewish lineage is traditionally passed from mother to child, so a non-Jewish woman marrying into a family has long been considered a special kind of threat. Obviously, the word shiksa is generally tinged with a bit of tension. The corresponding word for a male non-Jew is a shaygets.

Tchotchke. A tchotchke (pronounced “tsa-tskeh” “chotch-keh,” or chotch-kee) is literally a child’s doll, but it describes any small toy or bauble. Key chains, fun pens, and those squishy foam toys that help relieve hand stress are all examples of tchotchkes.

Tsuris. As the song goes, “Nobody knows the tsuris I’ve seen!” Well, that could be the Yiddish version. Tsuris mean heartaches, troubles, or woes. It’s what your kids can give you when they’re not giving you nakhes. “Don’t give me tsuris,” a mother might scold her misbehaving child.

Ungepotchket. A casserole made by throwing together last week’s leftovers is ungepotchket (pronounced “ung-geh-potch-ket”). Some modern art (the stuff that is copied from the brilliant works of five-year-olds) is ungepotchket. Blindly grabbing whatever clothes are clean (maybe) and at hand when you dress in the morning ensures you’ll be dressed ungepotchket. Anything Martha Stewart makes or designs is, almost by definition, the opposite of ungepotchket.

Yente. Pronounced either “yen-tah” or “yen-teh,” yente refers to a vulgar or gossipy woman. Calling a woman a yente to her face is considered bad form, to say the least. We keep hearing people mistake “Yentl” for yente. Careful! Yentl is a woman’s name, and the title of a Barbra Streisand movie. Interestingly, in recent times yente is becoming a positive term, as in the “Rent-a-Yente” company, which hires out people who are willing to help with tasks and projects.

Zaftig. In today’s world of supermodels the shape of toothpicks, it’s hard to remember the definition of zaftig, which literally means “juicy,” but is most often used to refer to a body type which you can really wrap your hands around (usually female). The opposite of zaftig is svelte, which we always thought was Yiddish, but is not. Zaftig is a sensual word, and may also be used to describe fruit (“Oy, this plum is so zaftig, I can’t wait to eat it!”) or even ideas (“His lecture was full of zaftig ideas.”). Yes, men can be zaftig, too. It’s an equal-opportunity adjective.

Zayde. Your zeyde (“zay-dah” or “zay-deh”) is your grandfather, and many Jews refer to their grandparents as “zayde and bubbe.” You may also hear people affectionately and respectfully referring to any older man as zayde.