1 Pleasure Is Not Proportional to Price
2 Don’t Judge a Wine by Its First Sip
5 Double Fist to Understand Differences
10 Legs Are Eminently Ignorable
COMPONENTS -- COMPONENTS -- COMPONENTS --
11 You’re Not Thinking Enough About Texture
12 Know Your Tingle From Your Pucker
13 Oak Can Be Delightfully Slutty
15 The Overriding Factor in Great Wine
OLDMAN’S TEN BEST -- OLDMAN’S TEN BEST --
Alternatives to Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot
Alternatives to Big-Brand Champagne
MORE ON WINE TYPES -- MORE ON WINE TYPES --
16 High Alcohol Wines Are Not Your Enemy
17 Blended Wines Are Not Inferior
18 How to Cultivate Your Sweet Tooth
19 Riesling Can Please Those With a Nose for Exxon
20 How to Discriminate Against Sweet Riesling
-- PART FOUR: FOOD AND WINE --
21 Laugh at Overly Specific Wine and Food Pairings
22 You Can Color Coordinate Food and Wine
23 Reds Can Swim With the Fishes
25 Do Not Limit Veggies to White
26 Better to Be an Internationalist Than an Indigenist
27 Some Reds Can Take the Heat
28 Drink Bubbly Throughout (or Even After) a Meal
29 Sparklers Rule With Spicy Food
30 Champagne Goes With Everything
31 Whites Are Better With Cheese
32 Blue Cheese and Sweet Wine Is Your Wormhole
34 Drizzle Wine on Your Dessert (and Even Pancakes)
35 Chocolate With Wine Isn’t the Disaster They Say It Is
36 Unexpectedly Sublime Pairings
THE LIST -- THE LIST -- THE LIST -- THE LIST
38 Some Restaurants Gouge Because They Can
39 Even Experts Think Wine Lists Are a Bermuda Triangle
40 Eight Ways to Find Restaurants That Play Fair
41 Five Shortcuts to Unearthing a Wine List’s Hidden Gems
42 Five Ways to Avoid the List’s Tourist Traps
43 The List May Reward Adventurousness, or the Somm’s Pet Wines
45 Avoid Wine by the Glass . . .
46 . . . But if You Can’t, Ask to Split the Glasses
47 Order a Bottle When Dining Alone
ORDERING WINE -- ORDERING WINE -- ORDERING WINE
48 Using a Sommelier Requires Only Three Things and Tinder Tendencies
50 Ask for a Good Price, Not a Good Value
52 How to Avoid Getting “Banged”
53 Handling the Glasshole Somm
DURING THE MEAL -- DURING THE MEAL
56 Don’t Let ’Em Strand Your Bottle
57 Ask Them to Shock Your Red (After a First Pour)
58 Another Bottle Doesn’t Necessitate a Fresh Glass
59 Protest the Overzealous Pour
60 Protect Your Final Drops Like Fort Knox
-- PART SIX: HANDLING AND SERVING --
61 One Type of Glass Is All You Need
62 Buy All the Wine Tools You Need for $15
63 Serve Reds Cooler, Whites (Possibly) Warmer
65 Four Secret Steps to Supercharge an Ice Bucket
66 Favor a Full-Figured Glass for Champagne
67 Decanting Is Easy and Not Just for Reds
FLAWS -- FLAWS -- FLAWS -- FLAWS -- FLAWS -- FLAWS
69 “Corked” Wine Is Enemy Number One, but It Isn’t Always Obvious
71 Some Flaws Can Be Overlooked
72 Broken Corks Are More Bark Than Bite
-- PART SEVEN: STORAGE AND VINTAGE --
73 Leftover Wine Lasts Longer Than You Think
74 Think Twice Before Aging That Wine
75 Some Whites Get Better With Age
76 Foreplay With Aged Wine Can Be Better Than the Real Thing
78 Wine’s Sweet Spot Is $15 to $25
79 Some Wines Require a Bit More Cash
80 Some Producers Create the Illusion of Scarcity
THE WINE STORE -- THE WINE STORE --
82 Start With a Diagnostic Case
83 Don’t Limit Your Buying to One Type of Retailer
84 How to Tell if a Wine Shop Has a Corrupt Heart
85 Prices Between Stores Vary More Than You Think
86 You Can Actually Return a Bad Wine for a Refund
THE WINE SPOUSE -- THE WINE SPOUSE --
88 How to Relate to a Wine Spouse
POINTS AND CRITICS -- POINTS AND CRITICS --
89 Don’t Ignore Wine Reviews, but Beware Their Limitations
90 Break the 90-Point Barrier, Downward
91 The Lower-Scoring Wine Can Be the Better Choice
92 The Best Judge Isn’t You, or Them, but the Ménage à Trois
SPECIAL PURCHASES -- SPECIAL PURCHASES --
94 Big Bottles Are Within Reach
95 Buying a Meaningful Vintage Is Not Just for Connoisseurs
96 Serve Champagne to a Newborn
97 The Best Wedding Gift Is Named for a Gun
98 The Best Host Gift Is Not Wine
99 Gift-Worthy Wines That Seem More Expensive Than They Are
100 Great Wines Never to Give as a Gift
101 How to Eliminate Awkwardness From the Host Gift
102 Insider Lingo They Don’t Tell You
103 Say It en Français, Then Slam Down the Mic
104 Provenance Confers Authority
105 Good Wine Can Smell Like Danger
107 Wine Lovers Verbalize Their Sexual Repression
108 Oenophiles Secretly Dig the Smell of Doo-doo
109 “Buzzed” and “Drunk” Can Be So Much More
-- PART ELEVEN: AMUSE-BOUCHES --
110 Allow Yourself to Day-Drink
111 No Shame in Drinking Alone
112 A Porron Is an Instant Mirth Maker
113 A Breathalyzer Is the Life of the Party
115 Most Experts Don’t Have Super Skills
116 Even Pros Engage in the Smuggle
117 Best Vessels for the Smuggle
118 Thirteen Fresh Ideas for Uniqueness in Wine Country
120 Eleven Best Practices of the Billionaire Drinker